Stupid people of the week

Methodist Church brands terms ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ offensive

The Methodist Church has claimed that ministers should avoid using the terms “husband” and “wife” because it conveys an assumption that is not “the reality for many people”.

The denomination made the statement in its “Inclusive Language Guide”, which will be updated every six months to advise congregations how to “repent of any hurtful language” when addressing groups which have been “marginalised and/or demonised by common culture”.

The guidance argued that “relationships come in many varied expressions”, and using the terms “parent”, “partner” and “child” are “a good place to start”.

Source; Christian Institute

Chinese Chess Champ Who Allegedly Cheated With Anal Beads Stripped Of Title For Pooping In Bathtub

There is…a lot to…unpack here.

he Chinese Xiangqi Association has been forced to discipline a champion who defecated in a hotel bathtub and address allegations that he cheated during competition with the help of vibrating anal beads.

Forty-eight-year-old Yan Chenglong defeated dozens of opponents in December to win the national title of “Xiangqi King,” but was then stripped of his title and prize money and banned from playing professionally for a year by the CXA, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reported Tuesday.

Xiangqi is a two-player strategy game commonly known as “Chinese chess.”

Chinese chess champion was revoked after defecating in a hotel bathtub

The Chinese chess community is in turmoil over allegations of cheating and a scandalous incident that led to the removal of the national champion’s title. The champion, 48-year-old Yan Chenglong, emerged… pic.twitter.com/DpDBShSqYy

— Spotlight on China (@spotlightoncn) December 27, 2023

The association released a statement regarding Chenglong’s poor behavior, according to ABC News.

“Yan consumed alcohol with others in his room on the night of the 17th, and then he defecated in the bathtub of the room he was staying in on the 18th, in an act that damaged hotel property, violated public order and good morals, had a negative impact on the competition and the event of Xiangqi, and was of extremely bad character,” the association said.

Chenglong had previously faced accusations of “clenching and unclenching” his anus “rhythmically” to send signals to a computer that then recommended his next move via the anal beads hidden in his rectum, according to The Independent. The CXA said it was impossible to prove whether the cheating reports were true, and punished Chenglong on the basis of the defecation incident, according to the Australian outlet.

Chenglong denied the rumors of cheating and stated that he was suffering from diarrhea at the time of his bathtub mishap, the outlet reported.

Earlier this year, in late August, American chess prodigy Hans Niemann settled a defamation lawsuit in which he, too, faced accusations of cheating with vibrating anal beads.

Source; Daily Caller

Grenade-shaped dog poop bag dispenser causes scare at middle school

A suspected hand grenade that briefly caused a stir at Patton Middle School in McMinnville, Oregon, was actually a plastic bag dispenser for cleaning up dog poop, police said.

The McMinnville Police Department stated on social media Wednesday that officers responded to a grass field near the middle school’s track at 10:35 a.m. Monday for a potential hand grenade on school grounds. Arriving officers secured the area and contacted the Oregon State Police Bomb Squad.

“All the students were secured inside the school by middle school staff during the ensuing investigation,” McMinnville PD said.

After taking close-up photos of the suspected grenade with the department’s drone, officers confirmed that there wasn’t any danger.

“After reviewing the photographs, the item was determined to be a dog waste bag dispenser that is manufactured to resemble a hand grenade,” McMinnville PD said. “The item was removed from school property and school activities returned to normal.”

McMinnville School District spokesperson Laurie Fry told Nexstar’s KOIN that the school was not placed on lockdown during Monday’s investigation and no students were near the suspicious bag dispenser when it was found.

“In an abundance of caution, school staff notified teachers who may have taken students outside during this time to remain indoors,” Fry said in a statement. “McMinnville PD responded promptly, and quickly realized the device was not real. There was no direct threat to students.”

Source; Fox59

A gang of robbers in Colorado found themselves high and dry after their getaway car got stolen, police say

Three armed robbers in Colorado got a taste of their own medicine when their getaway car got stolen midway through a heist on Saturday.

The Commerce City Police Department said in a statement on Saturday that “three armed and masked individuals” robbed a check-cashing business, Hi Lo Check Cashing “in the 7200 block of Monaco just before 11am.”

“In an unexpected and ironic twist… as the trio was robbing the business…a fourth criminal stole their getaway vehicle… which may have already been stolen. We don’t know,” the police department said in an update, adding that they will release more information in due course.

The police department said in its statement that it had detained two of the three armed robbery suspects.

“The investigation is ongoing. We are relieved no one was injured,” the statement added.

A representative for the police department told local television station KUSA-TV that the suspects are believed to be juveniles under the age of 18.

Some found the police department’s account of the events hilarious and unexpected.

“What a plot twist,” a Facebook user named Matt Gromann commented on the statement.

“We can’t make this stuff up,” the police department replied.

Representatives for the Commerce City Police Department did not immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider sent outside regular business hours.

Source; Business Insider

Florida man gets ‘agitated’ by neighborhood Christmas parade, fires off several gunshots: deputies

A Florida man was arrested after he allegedly fired off several shots during a neighborhood Christmas parade because he became “agitated” at what parade-goers were doing, according to deputies.

Douglas Moore, 43, was arrested and charged with six counts of aggravated assault with a firearm, reckless discharge of a firearm and using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol after the incident that unfolded in the 4100 block of County Road 218 in Middleburg on Saturday, according to an arrest affidavit from the Clay County Sheriff’s Office.

As the Middleburg Christmas Parade was underway Saturday evening, deputies and SWAT Team members responded to a location along the parade route after several gunshots were heard. Middleburg is located about 30 miles southwest of Jacksonville.

According to deputies, Moore “became agitated by the activities generated by parade attendees.” That’s when he discharged a pistol several times while walking onto the property where a group of people were. The arrest affidavit noted that no victims or witnesses ever entered Moore’s property.

Deputies said when they approached the back of the property, they saw several people yelling at the suspect, identified as Moore, at the property line. They were demanding to know why he was shooting a gun at them, according to the affidavit.

When Moore allegedly refused to comply with deputies’ orders to get on the ground, he was taken to the ground and put into custody. Deputies also observed Moore’s slurred speech and bloodshot, water eyes, the affidavit said.

No injuries were reported, and no one was struck by the gunfire, deputies said.

Moore was transported to the Clay County Jail.

Source; Yahoo!

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Crime, Police, Stupid Criminals