Stupid people of the week

The stupid has been strong this week. We start with Representative Eric Swalwell (D-CA) retweeting a Carpe Donktum meme. It was a video meme to boot, in which Swalwell can be heard breaking wind loudly, as he is known for doing on television. Click the photo to watch it.

Surgeons extract condom-wrapped banana man ate in ‘hormonal rage’ fit

Was he trying to get some sexual peeling?

A 34-year-old man had to be hospitalized after eating a banana wrapped in a condom in a fit of rage — which resulted in a serious bowel blockage. A case study describing his bananas contraceptive calamity, deemed to be the world’s first case of its kind, was published earlier this week in the journal “Cureus.”

The bizarre case came to light after the unidentified patient had reported to the hospital after experiencing abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting. Meanwhile, he wasn’t able to tolerate any food or drink and hadn’t had a bowel movement for over 24 hours, Jam Press reported.

Doctors performed a CT scan, which revealed that the poor soul had a condom-wrapped banana obstructing his small intestine.

The patient, who reportedly had a history of depression, copped to swallowing the prophylactic-covered fruit in a fit of “hormonal rage.”

The inadvertent fruit mule was subsequently rushed into surgery, where doctors were able to remove it from his poop chute. Accompanying photos snapped post-extraction show the contraceptive-swaddled bruised fruit next to a pair of surgical tongs.

The man was discharged three days after the potassium balloon’s removal, whereupon he recovered to the point to where he could eat and poop without issue.

“Two weeks after the operation, he was tolerating a low-fiber diet without nausea or vomiting,” the report read. “He had a return of normal bowel movements, and his pain was well-controlled.”

They added, “At six months, he continued to endorse normal bowel patterns and diet. He was able to slowly resume his active lifestyle and did not have major concerns.”

This marked the first known instance of someone swallowing a banana in a condom, per the study. Authors noted that small bowel obstructions are rare and usually result “from the ingestion of drug-filled condoms to smuggle illicit drugs.”

This isn’t the first time someone has swallowed an unusual object, however. Earlier this month, doctors were flabbergasted after discovering that a 4-year-old’s “colicky” pain turned out to be caused by a magnetic bracelet that he’d swallowed.

Source; NY Post

Suburban school worker charged with stealing $1.5M worth of chicken wings from district

The food service director for an impoverished south suburban school district is accused of stealing $1.5M worth of food – mainly chicken wings – according to court documents reviewed by WGN Investigates.

Vera Liddell, 66, worked for Harvey School District 152 for more than a decade, according to a LinkedIn account associated with her name.

“The massive fraud began at the height of COVID during a time when students were not allowed to be physically present in school,” reads a proffer presented at Liddell’s bond hearing. “Even though the children were learning remotely, the school district continued to provide meals for the students that their families could pick up.”

Court records accuse Liddell of ordering more than 11,000 cases of chicken wings from the school district’s food provider and then picking-up the order in a district cargo van.

“The food was never brought to the school or provided to the students,” reads the proffer.

District funds were used to pay for the food, according to prosecutors, who did not reveal what became of the chicken wings.

The scheme was uncovered by the district’s business manager during a routine mid-year audit. The manager found the district was $300,000 over its annual food service budget despite only being halfway through the school year, according to prosecutors.

“She discovered individual invoices signed by Liddell for massive quantities of chicken wings, an item that was never served to students because they contain bones,” prosecutors said.

Court records say employees of the district’s food provider, Gordon Food Service, were all familiar with the defendant “due to the massive amount of chicken wings she would purchase.”

The case was investigated by the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office and Liddell was charged with theft. She’s in custody at the Cook County Jail with a $150,000 bond.

Harvey School District 152’s interim superintendent Lela Bridges said she has only been on the job since last week. She told WGN she was aware of the charges but had no comment due to the ongoing investigation.

The district consists of five schools. Records indicate the district’s total enrollment is 1,600 children with more than 80% of students qualifying as “low income.”

Source; WGN

Cop on patrol with her own felony charges pleads guilty

For nearly a year, a police officer in the tiny northeastern Colorado village of Log Lane was working with a badge and gun and pulling people over while she had her own felony case pending.

On Wednesday morning, Officer Dawn Fliszar pleaded guilty to two felony charges of theft and forgery after investigators accused her of pocketing more than $30,000 in vehicle inspection fees when she was an officer in the Town of Morrison.

On Thursday morning, Fliszar submitted a resignation letter to Log Lane Village.

The criminal case against her was investigated by the Colorado State Patrol and prosecuted in Arapahoe County.

Fliszar faces up to three years in prison and a $100,000 fine on each felony conviction. She’s expected to be sentenced in April and may be forced to pay restitution.

In October, 9NEWS first reported on Fliszar’s employment with the village and observed her in uniform and armed while in a patrol vehicle. Fliszar’s bond paperwork did not prohibit her from carrying a weapon at the time.

When reached over the phone Wednesday, before Fliszar’s submitted a resignation letter, Log Lane Mayor Naomi Zuniga confirmed the village was aware of the guilty plea and said board members would discuss Fliszar’s employment on Wednesday night.

“She did well for the village and was respected here,” Zuniga said over the phone.

Zuniga declined an on-camera interview but admitted she was aware of Fliszar’s pending felony case when Fliszar was hired in March.

Zuniga wasn’t mayor at the time of Fliszar’s hiring, but she was on the village board. Zuniga said she was out of town when the board voted to hire Fliszar.

In October, 9NEWS reported Fliszar never disclosed her pending felony case and arrest on a job application to Log Lane Village.

The circumstance is highly unusual for most law enforcement agencies who don’t want officers working and enforcing the law while they are facing their own criminal cases.

For example, in the City of Denver, an officer charged with a felony would be immediately suspended without pay until their criminal case is resolved.

Under state law, the Colorado Peace Officer Standards and Training Board (POST) will likely decertify Fliszar as a law enforcement officer because of her felony conviction.

9NEWS reported on how the POST board was powerless to suspend Fliszar’s certification pending her felony case because of current state law.

“POST board should have the ability to suspend that person so that person is not acting as a peace officer in the state of Colorado, potentially jeopardizing other criminal justice systems in place,” Tony Spurlock, who was vice chair of the board at the time, said.

Source; 9 News

Botched prosecution lets notorious ex-NYPD detective walk free

The cases were thrown out in scores. In the Bronx, 349 convictions were tossed, along with more than 100 in Manhattan. In Brooklyn, 90 were overturned.

After Joseph Franco was charged in 2019 with perjury and other crimes related to his decades as a New York Police Department narcotics detective, prosecutors lined up to dismiss cases in which he had been involved.

But on Tuesday, one more prosecution was tossed: that of Franco himself. A New York state judge, Robert M. Mandelbaum, found that prosecutors with the Manhattan district attorney’s office had failed to turn over evidence to the detective’s lawyers on three occasions, a major ethical violation, and dismissed the charges.

“As you have heard,” Mandelbaum told jurors, “to date there have been two different occasions that you have heard about where the prosecution failed to disclose certain evidence.”

“It now turns out that the prosecution failed to disclose additional evidence only learned about today,” he added.

The prosecutor handling the case, Stephanie Minogue, was immediately removed as deputy chief of the Police Accountability Unit, which reports directly to Manhattan District Attorney Alvin L. Bragg.

Franco’s trial was meant to shine a spotlight on police misconduct at a time when prosecutors were concerned with showing that they could hold their law enforcement partners to account. Instead, the two-week trial will be remembered as a highly public case of wrongdoing by prosecutors, one that all but ensures that the former detective will not face another jury. It leaves the question of his guilt in limbo and raises questions about the swift dismissal of the hundreds of cases in which he was involved.

“It is ironic, but in a really bad way, for the legitimacy of the criminal system in New York that prosecutors, even going after police misconduct, themselves commit misconduct,” said Cynthia Godsoe, a professor at Brooklyn Law School who has pushed for more prosecutorial accountability. “A lot of lawyers are quick to blame police, but are less interested in exposing prosecutors to the oversight they clearly need.”

The dismissal of the charge dealt a major blow to Bragg, who has made police accountability a focal issue. Though Franco was charged by the district attorney’s predecessor, Cyrus Vance Jr., his trial was the most significant proceeding against a police officer that Bragg had overseen.

The case was dismissed with prejudice: The office will not be able to prosecute Franco for the same crimes again.

Franco, 50, was not charged in any borough other than Manhattan, and Brooklyn prosecutors in 2021 said that they had not uncovered additional misconduct. Other prosecutors who have moved to vacate cases related to Franco’s work are unlikely to bring charges. The statute of limitations for the felony charges that the former detective faced is five years. Franco stopped working in Brooklyn in 2011, and in the Bronx in 2015.

A lawyer for Franco, Howard Tanner, said in a statement that his client was relieved, but asked, “How does he get his reputation back?”

“A decorated police officer who honorably served this city for 20 years, he never did anything wrong,” Tanner said, calling the case “baseless.” He added that prosecutors had repeatedly withheld and destroyed evidence and misrepresented facts.

Some of the withheld evidence included surveillance videos, communications between prosecutors, memos from investigators as well as cellphones from people arrested after Franco identified them as drug dealers, Tanner said in an interview.

There were also hundreds of audio files of a prosecution witness whose phone conversations were recorded while she was at the Rikers Island jail complex, Tanner said.

He said that he could not yet determine whether any of the evidence could have helped exonerate his client.

“The irony isn’t lost on me that this is the public corruption bureau and they conducted themselves in this manner,” Tanner said.

In a statement, a spokesperson for the district attorney’s office, Doug Cohen, announced Minogue’s removal, saying, “New Yorkers must know that law enforcement, including prosecutors, are acting with the utmost integrity. We hold ourselves accountable to that standard.” Paul DiGiacomo, president of the Detectives’ Endowment Association, which represents 18,000 active and retired city detectives, said in a statement prosecutors who failed to turn over evidence should be fired.

He said Bragg and the unit were “quick to impugn the integrity of our detectives even for possible mere mistakes made in the good faith performance of our duties.”

The case showed the need for an independent review of the prosecutors’ office and a reevaluation of “their investigative process and ethics,” DiGiacomo said.

The case was immediately sealed. Cohen said that the district attorney’s office’s Post-Conviction Justice Unit, which reviews wrongful convictions, would continue to scrutinize cases in which Franco was involved. Patrice O’Shaughnessy, communications director for the Bronx district attorney, said that office would “evaluate the best course of action with the cases that are still under review.”

More at the source; Seattle Times

President says the stupidest things

Lastly, the POTUS has now said that “More than half the women in my administration are women.” He must be some sort of biologist.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Crime, Stupid Criminals