The Army Times in 10 mins or Less

So, since my previous post regarding the WaPo Express was such an unparalleled success, I will now do round 2.

As is my custom on pay day, wherein I celebrate the issuance of another barely earned half-pence check, I went to McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood for lunch. I go there because one of the eponymous owners is a veteran, and I do so very much like to reward my brothers and sisters who served. Well, that and their food is outstanding. Today I got the 9 ounce top sirloin with some potatoes (is there an “e” in that Mr. Quayle?) and string beans. Was solid.

Anyway, as I sat there and watched parts of today’s Tour de France (a guilty pleasure of TSO’s) I also read through the Army Times. I do it so you don’t have to. So anyway, here in short blurbs is the news from “your army” as it says repeatedly on the inside. As is also my custom, I refused to read anything by AT Asshat Rick Maze. Now, the articles are not online as yet, so I will tell you what to read when they show up.

Armed Robbery for Peace. This is a classic, some asshats at Ft Lewis, Rangers, rob a bank, then escape to Canada. Some of them are Canadians. Anyway, one of them shanked a dude in prison, but the article talks about their motivation. “Sommer said later in an interview with Army Times that he had done it to shed light on attrocities being committed by U.S. Troops in the war zones.” Yeah, well we all deal with it in different ways, some make up fairy tales, some throw coke parties and run for Congress, and some rob banks. Let he who is without something something throw the first something.

Stop Eating the Uncooked Shellfish. I didn’t actually read the article, but apparently the number of cases of chlamydia is on the rise, so make sure you cook the meat first. That is how you get it, right?

Someone Alert VoteVets. Suicides in June down to 9. Number of suicides who met the straw man argument of John Soltz from last month: zero.

Where is the Democratic Party to the Rescue? Absentee voting numbers were hurt by errors in the mailing procedures. 46% of undeliverable returned ballots were military ones. This is completely unsat.

Think he could take a Polish Sniper who boxes in the barrios of Milwaukee? Uber-badass and Blackfive buddy Tim Kennedy is leaving the Green Beretted Ones to go fight on his own. The military wouldn’t let him fight on active duty. Which is about the stupidest personnel decision I can ever remember. Asshats. I don’t generally watch MMA, but I will to root on another of our brothers.

If you burned that shit, you must acquit! And epidiologist says that burn piles are bad. Count me among those that are simply stunned by this news. It’s almost like waking up and finding out that Lance Bass woke up this morning nestled up to a man.

Dude, you should have come up with a different name. The title of the article reads: Law panel to review private sex in military. That alone was compelling enough for me to read it, and try to find out where to send my resume. Then I got to the name. The Cox Commission. Was the “boys have penises, girls have vaginas commission” name already taken?

TSO Cheers go out to LG Rick Lynch. He makes the troops go home and not work weekends. Unsurprisingly, stress levels lower. I am all about training time, but too often I find field problems which seem to entail “CTT training” which is to say crawling into the woodline and examining the inside of my eyelids. Focus on training you need, cut out the BS you don’t, and send the troops home to be with their families. Bravo sir.

Kill them all, let an Ornithologost sort them out. If you served in the Infantry at least, you will know about this list. Red-cockaded woodpecker. Black-capped vireo. Golden-cheeked warbler. Add in the desert tortoise that pisses itself when a track rolls by at NTC, and the Lane Mountain Milk-vetch, and you’ve got the Army’s biggest foes on military bases. Anyway, there’s an article about them in the July 20 Army Times.

Inexplicably, there is nothing about the World’s least regarded milblogger’s Birfday which is also on the 20th. Which is why you might not hear as much out of me over the next few days. So hope you enjoyed my 5 (five? new record!) posts today.

Category: Politics