You Call That An Insult?

It seems that we need to upgrade our ability to apply invective and pejorative nominatives to those we collectively detest, so this may (or may not) amuse you, but I have made an effort to entertain you, too.

First is something I threw at someone awhile back, because he was getting out of line. I don’t think he understood a word of it. It’s in a “foreign language”, which he didn’t understand at all, but such is life.

Mentre mi rivolgo a lei, Estupido, siete un idiota cui madre sconosciuti perché lei era così brutto, è spaventato il Santo merda fuori di lei.

Now that goes right along with pendejo puto puta, which was the nastiest thing I could have used, but only because when some stump-sucking clowndog hears that, then — well, it meant that I probably knew a lot more such things and he should just turn around and walk away. Oh, and gachupina was another one. This piece of advice came in handy one night when someone tried to “borrow” my bus pass: Ve a chupar el cañón de una pistola!

After that, my hobby of finding pejoratives embellished my vocabulary considerably, and I went with the following bit:

Idiots! You’ve destroyed yourselves! Odin will destroy you for this murder of his language!

Translated into Old Norse, which is spoken up in Iceland, it becomes: Fábjáni! Þið hafið eyðilagt ykkur! Óðinn mun tortíma þér fyrir þetta morð á þessu máli!

If you can make that kind of guttural, it’s even more fun.

There’s also the reply of the Zaporoshian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan, after he said the following:

As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians — I command you, the Zaporozhian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

–Turkish Sultan Mahmud IV

The reply of the Cossacks (Kazakhs, perhaps? from Kazakhistan, maybe?) went like this:

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked ass? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, and fuck your mother!

You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s ass, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding Christian pigs. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our ass!

Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

Not too shabby, if you ask me.

Now, since there weren’t enough actual insults in the Elizabethan English vocabulary, some fellow named Will Shakespeare came up with a list of his own, a rather large glossary, which allowed him to combine single words into phrases that increased the impact when two actors went at each other verbally.

For example, churlish, boil-brained boar-pig and fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon both have a certain something about them that leaves the target wondering if he’s been insulted or given a day off from work.

So let’s do be creative thing in such events, those in which we can duly insult someone and leave them wondering if their laundry is done, or that “coffee stain” on their pants has dried. Cast doubts on someone’s actual origin, e.g., were you raised by a human or a {Poland China sow?, or Is it true your mother lied to you about not finding you in a trash dumpster?

While it might not have the effect on someone who is borderline SD at this point and frequently walks in the wrong direction, you can still toss effective snarks at such dolts.

Always leave them wondering.

Oh, and to make all of you feel somewhat better about yourselves, there’s some “investigation” underway about some fat broad named Clinton regarding some kind of collusional and essentially illegal behavior…. don’t think it’s just a rumor, either.

Have a nice day.

Category: "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", 2020 Election, Biden, Darwin Awards