You Call That An Insult?

| February 14, 2022

It seems that we need to upgrade our ability to apply invective and pejorative nominatives to those we collectively detest, so this may (or may not) amuse you, but I have made an effort to entertain you, too.

First is something I threw at someone awhile back, because he was getting out of line. I don’t think he understood a word of it. It’s in a “foreign language”, which he didn’t understand at all, but such is life.

Mentre mi rivolgo a lei, Estupido, siete un idiota cui madre sconosciuti perché lei era così brutto, è spaventato il Santo merda fuori di lei.

Now that goes right along with pendejo puto puta, which was the nastiest thing I could have used, but only because when some stump-sucking clowndog hears that, then — well, it meant that I probably knew a lot more such things and he should just turn around and walk away. Oh, and gachupina was another one. This piece of advice came in handy one night when someone tried to “borrow” my bus pass: Ve a chupar el cañón de una pistola!

After that, my hobby of finding pejoratives embellished my vocabulary considerably, and I went with the following bit:

Idiots! You’ve destroyed yourselves! Odin will destroy you for this murder of his language!

Translated into Old Norse, which is spoken up in Iceland, it becomes: Fábjáni! Þið hafið eyðilagt ykkur! Óðinn mun tortíma þér fyrir þetta morð á þessu máli!

If you can make that kind of guttural, it’s even more fun.

There’s also the reply of the Zaporoshian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan, after he said the following:

As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians — I command you, the Zaporozhian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

–Turkish Sultan Mahmud IV

The reply of the Cossacks (Kazakhs, perhaps? from Kazakhistan, maybe?) went like this:

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked ass? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, and fuck your mother!

You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s ass, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding Christian pigs. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our ass!

Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

Not too shabby, if you ask me.

Now, since there weren’t enough actual insults in the Elizabethan English vocabulary, some fellow named Will Shakespeare came up with a list of his own, a rather large glossary, which allowed him to combine single words into phrases that increased the impact when two actors went at each other verbally.

For example, churlish, boil-brained boar-pig and fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon both have a certain something about them that leaves the target wondering if he’s been insulted or given a day off from work.

So let’s do be creative thing in such events, those in which we can duly insult someone and leave them wondering if their laundry is done, or that “coffee stain” on their pants has dried. Cast doubts on someone’s actual origin, e.g., were you raised by a human or a {Poland China sow?, or Is it true your mother lied to you about not finding you in a trash dumpster?

While it might not have the effect on someone who is borderline SD at this point and frequently walks in the wrong direction, you can still toss effective snarks at such dolts.

Always leave them wondering.

Oh, and to make all of you feel somewhat better about yourselves, there’s some “investigation” underway about some fat broad named Clinton regarding some kind of collusional and essentially illegal behavior…. don’t think it’s just a rumor, either.

Have a nice day.

Category: "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", 2020 Election, Biden, Darwin Awards

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And the As(s)teroid of Insults will soon grow to become the Planet of Insults? Or at the very least, The Moon of Insults?

And yet, tho the evidence is overwhelming on Bitchlery, nothing will come of it until the American Patriots Rise Up, Resist, Rebel, and Revolt. The sewer that is the District of Criminals will not be flushed until that happens.  🇸🇴 


I am heartened that maybe the beginnings of a Chlorox Tsunami will be arriving this November, or at least, a Dawn and White Vinegar Douching. (the generic household cleaner I have handy in a spray bottle and ‘use on anything (mostly in the kitchen sink)” spray I keep around the house. Works amazingly well, cheap and not terribly toxic.)

Last edited 2 years ago by ChipNASA

My wife says that the generic cleaner works much better if you add some lemon juice and water to the formula.


Chipster I was thinking more along the lines of a Flame Thrower, but we can try your method…afterwards.

A Proud Infidel®™️

The more Joke Biteme fucketh up, the bigger the upset we’ll see in November. Anyone see his latest nomination? Some bald headed male who wears high heels to work and brags about his perverse sex life.

USMC Steve

Never underestimate the evil and social amorality of the socialist democrats around the country. Elections will continue to be stolen if possible by those people until we make them bleed for it.


The only way the hildabeast and the clintonista gang get punished for their crimes is if they are Caechescued. No way does that corrupt AG let anyone involved go to prison. Sussman, if he cops a plea, will get the same treatment as the other lawer who just had his law license reinstated by the bar assn of the District of Criminals. None of them will get the Roger Stone treatment with an FBI SWAT team at 4:00 am.


The classics


Something, something…The As(s)teroid of Insults® keeps on keepin’ on….such has Ex-PH2, and many of you have contributed to and I too, have some of the items exactly like these here, from my intrawebs research.
If you care to see it in it’s newest iteration, go visit the Braxton Anderson (on the 10th) thread. And please, of course and always, continue to feel free to contribute. I am, as always, just your humble curator.


I think I recognized stupid and idiot. Not much of anything else.


Ex: see “Angels in the Outfield”, the (better) original. You’ll enjoy its take on creative swearing
1952 I think?


Great post, Ex. Nothing quite like deriding an entirely deserving pillock in a language they’re too pea-brained understand…

ULTRACREPIDARIAN /ˌəltrəkrepəˈderēən/ – adjective: expressing opinions on matters outside the scope of one’s knowledge or expertise.
noun: ultracrepidarian; plural noun: ultracrepidarians; a person who expresses opinions on matters outside the scope of their knowledge or expertise.

MUMPSIMUS /məmpsiməs/
noun: mumpsimus, mumpsimi; plural noun: mumpsimuses,
noun: a traditional custom or notion adhered to although shown to be unreasonable.
adjective: a person who obstinately adheres to unreasonable customs or notions.

A more often-applied ‘virtual signal’ is seen below


Democrats (as they see themselves, at least) about Ukraine today:

Last edited 2 years ago by Anonymous

I always liked “I don’t want to talk to you anymore, you empty-headed animal food trough whopper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”


I tend to keep my insults direct and easily understood. It’s a waste of breath and brain power to waste words on a dumbass that won’t understand they’ve been insulted. I want them to walk away knowing full well they’ve been insulted, that I’ve questioned the validity of their parents marriage along with their mother’s species and pedigree.


Yep, spot on SFC D. Draw you a 3 day ration out of my Class VI Supplies.


Ah, the classic Anglo-Saxon approach. Good, but lacking the entertainment value of a florid composition that can be shared and savored by all.

See also “The Dozens” (game).


I can employ the Irish gift of flowery insults when necessary and on those who will understand it!


Ah, the “Yo’ mama!” game– first one to lose his cool and threaten an ass whuppin’ loses.


I once referred to someone here as a “sexual intellectual”. And then had to explain it to him. Good times.

Last edited 2 years ago by SFC D

Uh, I seem to have misplaced the definition and Google refuses to help. Would you mind helping me out?

(Hey! I’m old; I’m allowed to forget things!)


A fucking know-it-all


Thank you. I think I might have been one of those. Now, alas, the ravages of time have made me a fucking knew it all. That’s not totally accurate, but I don’t know the past tense of fucking.


Brava(?)! You have inspired me to do a litle reading of Shakespeare. Perhaps also a dip into “Canterbury Tales” which also has some fine insults and memorable lines if I remember correctly, e.g. “He let forth a fart like unto a thunderclap, which nearly blinded Absalom, poor chap”.


But Absalom was ready with his iron hot
And Nicholas across the arse he smot . . .


The Absalom in in the Old Testament got his hair stuck in the branches of a tree that the mule he was riding ran under. Absalom was left hanging by his hair while his mule kept going.

To paraphrase the way some versions of the Bible describe it, “He hung between the heavens and the earth”. That was the last thing he did alive. King David’s men killed him while he was in that position.


I am well aware of the Biblical story of David and Absalom. However, my comment was not intended as a Biblical reference. Rather, it’s a reference to (and direct quotation from, if nearly 50 y/o memory serves me correctly) Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales – specifically, “The Miller’s Tale”.

Last edited 2 years ago by Hondo

I knew that you were talking about the Absalom from outside the Bible. This is why I couldn’t resist the urge to talk about the one in the Old Testament.  😀 

The Canterbury Tales were written in the Medieval Period. Absalom was a popular name during that time, and the name was connected to the one in the Old Testament.

The Absalom in the Old Testament was vain and a part of the royal household… He was rich. There is a connection between the one in the Old Testament, and the one used in Canterbury Tales. It’s no accident that the Absalom in the Canterbury tales was also vain.

Many of the Bible’s symbols, metaphors, etc., made it into Western literature during the Medieval Period, Renaissance, etc.


Not a valid comparison. Chaucer’s Absalom bears little resemblance to the Biblical Absalom other than vanity.

The Biblical Absalom was bold, cunning, and violent; he was willing to rebel successfully (albeit temporarily) against his own father. After deposing David, he slept with his father’s concubines/wives out of spite afterwards. He also arranged the murder of one of his half-brothers (for good reason, some might say).

In contrast, Chaucer’s Absalom was clumsy, timid, and (due to his timidity) a failure in his attempts to woo the lady involved in the story. Vanity is the only thing he shared with his Biblical namesake.

In short, the Biblical Absalom was a vain, strong, cunning, and capable character who was nonetheless fatally flawed. Chaucer’s Absalom was little more than a vain fool deserving of ridicule.

Last edited 2 years ago by Hondo

Part I

Hondo: Not a valid comparison. 

They’re a very valid comparison. The Absalom in the Old Testament is a very valid comparison to the Absalom. 

Hondo: Chaucer’s Absalom bears little resemblance to the Biblical Absalom other than vanity. 

Incorrect. Vanity is not the only comparison between the two. If you’ve read the whole context of the Book of Samuel, 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel, as well as the whole Bible from the beginning of Genesis to the end of Revelation, you would see an Absalom that does not match the Absalom that you described.

David, Absalom, Saul, Abner, etc., all carry a theme that runs through the Bible from the beginning to the end. 

Last edited 2 years ago by thebesig

Part II

Hondo: The Biblical Absalom was bold, cunning, and violent; he was willing to rebel successfully (albeit temporarily) against his own father. After deposing David, he slept with his father’s concubines/wives out of spite afterwards…In contrast, Chaucer’s Absalom was clumsy, timid, and (due to his timidity) a failure in his attempts to woo the lady involved in the story. 

If you’ve read the entire Bible, you’d notice that Israel is described as “a bride”, or as a “woman” in general. Yes, Absalom temporarily gained Israel, but Israel fought back… Israel “the bride” rejected him. 

Running into a tree, where you don’t have clearance, especially if you have a crap ton of hair that could be caught in the branches, is clumsy. Indeed, Absalom was clumsy in the battlefield. His clumsiness helped his loss on the battlefield, and with his losing Israel, “the bride”.


Part III

He was cunning “while in garrison” and was able to leverage alliances to temporarily depose of his father.

This is a part of the reason to why he “rendered judgement” in his father’s place before he revolted. But, when it came to the real deal, actual combat, he was the Absalom described by Chaucer. 

The clumsiness that you mentioned with Chaucer’s Absalom is a metaphor for foolishness. In the Bible, going against God’s will is foolishness. 


Part IV

Hondo: In short, the Biblical Absalom was a strong and capable but fatally flawed. Chaucer’s Absalom was little more than a vain fool deserving of ridicule.

Not exactly. As mentioned above, he was able to leverage alliances while in garrison, but he was clumsy in the battlefield. He ultimately lost Israel “the bride” as described by the prophets. The Absalom in the Bible is also a vain fool deserving of ridicule. He is symbolic of the attempt to build the Tower of Babel, to consume the fruit of forbidden knowledge, etc., they represent going against the will of God, thus both being acts of pride and foolishness. 


Still have those delusions of omniscience and infallibility, eh? Guess that’s to be expected from someone who’d erroneously lecture a practicing attorney on what constitutes a specific crime, then refuse to acknowledge their error after it was brought to their attention.

Don’t bother to reply. I’ll waste no more time arguing with you.

But you might do well to consider Luke 6:42.

Last edited 2 years ago by Hondo

Part I

Hondo: Still have those delusions of omniscience and infallibility, eh? [SELF PROJECTION]

This statement is driven by excessive pride on your part. In over 18 years of arguing with people on the Internet, I found that the opposition falls within specific profiles. I’ve debated with you more than once, and in every instance your apparent psychological profile indicated somebody who has anger issues, control issues, and pride issues.

You tend to turn things into an argument that need not to be an argument. My first response to you here was not in any way, shape, or form, intended to insult your intelligence or experience. Yet, that is how you responded… And you accuse me of having “delusions of omniscience and infallibility”.

Most interesting Man 20220216 Part I B.jpg
Last edited 2 years ago by thebesig

Part II

If I believed that I had “omniscience and infallibility”, I would be arguing on every single argument thread that takes place on this website and elsewhere. However, I don’t. Why? One requirement is that I have extensive knowledge on the topic being debated.

Hondo: Guess that’s to be expected from someone who’d erroneously lecture a practicing attorney on what constitutes a specific crime, then refuse to acknowledge their error after it was brought to their attention.

If I told a practicing attorney of what constitutes a specific crime, it is based on a track record and trend of what had been done in the real world. I combine both what is written in the law, and what had been decided when people violate that law.

So no, I was not wrong, and expecting me to acknowledge “being wrong” in this situation is like expecting me to acknowledge the “existence” of unicorns in our national parks.

Baghdad Bob on claims of erroneously lecturing a practicing attorney.jpg

Part III

I mean, if practicing attorneys, and retired attorneys, were all in agreement of what constitutes a crime, or something else, we would have less appeals and disagreement in the court system. Case in point, violations of the Constitution in the November 2020 elections. Lawyers had different answers for that depending on who they were supporting. 

Hondo: Don’t bother to reply. 

That is not how I do things; you should know that. I’ve debated enough on this website for you to know that I provide a counter rebuttal to a rebuttal.

Hondo: I’ll waste no more time arguing with you.

I predict that you will come back and respond to these series of replies. Thus, even when it comes to arguing what you would do, your actions will prove me right and you wrong.

This guy has a Juris Doctorate degree yet had inconsistent views regarding impeachment based on the president’s political affiliation. 

Jerrold Nadler Jerry Nadler about face on impeachment he is a lawyer by trade.jpg

Good lord, that dumb bastard has a law degree? But then so does Gropey Joe, and he has never actually done a day’s work as a practicing lawer.


Part IV

Hondo: But you might do well to consider Luke 6:42. [SELF PROJECTION]

I’ve read the entire Bible, from the beginning of Genesis to the end of Revelation more than once. So yes, I already considered it during the times I read the entire Bible, as well as when it showed up in the daily scripture readings on the US Catholic Bishiop’s website. 

One of the biggest ironies in your choosing that statement, is how you are accusing me of doing things that I see you doing. 

You cannot just take a single verse and run with it. You must read it in context of the entire statement that the verse comes in. In this situation, Luke 6:37-47. Your recent post is you judging me, erroneously. On top of that, you judged me based on projecting your traits onto me.


Part V

These series of responses to you are addressed in that range of verses. In Luke 6:37, Jesus said not to judge, and you will not be judged. The rest of the verses that follow is jampacked with meaning. One of those meanings is that the treatment that you give to others comes back to you.

Guess what? I have hammered a priest and a bishop for being inconsistent with Scripture. I did so on Twitter, I also sent the bishop an email. No response, and not expecting any. Both are still active. 

Also check this out, I found the specific story, from The Canterbury Tales, that involves the tale of Absalom, Nicholas, and the carpenter. Guess what? Your summation of the Absalom character was not correct based on my reading the story. I found more metaphors, in the story, that relates to scripture readings specific to Absalom and elsewhere in the Bible. 


“he slept with his father’s concubines/wives out of spite”

Somehow I doubt that was the only reason.


Forgot that part. One of the few bright spots of senior English, or so I was told.


I think ol’ Bill had a foreshadowing of Pelosi.

O most pernicious woman!
O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!

Hamlet, Act I


The human race hasn’t changed much in only ~1500 years. Bill undoubtedly knew the type.

Green Thumb

Your a Phildo.

Terrible and low insult.


It’s not often on TAH that we quote Shakespeare, but the scribe did famously write, “Brevity is the soul of wit,” a truth to which ol’ Poe also ascribes regarding insults.

Thus, he’s always found that “Fuck off and die,” works for him… 😜 

Last edited 2 years ago by Poetrooper

“Brevity is the soul of wit,”



FWIW: the Zaporozhian Host – AKA the Cossack Hetmanate – was a short-lived state in what is today the central part of the Ukraine. It broke away from the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth in the mid-1600s, but by the mid-1700s had become a part of the Russian Empire. Its last vestiges (e.g., its internal administrative and judicial systems) were abolished under the Russian Tsarina Catherine the Great in the late 1700s.

Last edited 2 years ago by Hondo
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Hack Stone

The greatest insult that you can ever bestow on someone is “He/she is definitely All Points Logistics material.”

Green Thumb



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