Weekend Open Thread

| June 4, 2021

Place a mirror somewhere that someone would have to check. Then, claim that there is a (choice of insult) at that location. The person checks that location and sees their reflection looking back at them. Enjoy your weekend.

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WOO HOO! Five years I have been lurking on this site waiting for my FIRST time to shine. Five years of watching other folks steal my thunder! Well, it ends now, Beeoches!! {deep breath, act humble}

I would like to thank my family for supporting me in these difficult times and my boss for telling me to put in a PO for a replacement hydraulic cylinder precisely as this thread was created… Naw, Fak him, it was all ME!!! Wooooo!!!

God Bless America. Dreams can really come true here.


You didn’t build that…

Congrats Bim, may your reign be prosperous!


Rats of the Cong on your First FIRST, Bim. You never forget your First FIRST. Remember that with Great Power comes Great Responsibility. In other words, YOU are Greatly responsible for the words and actions of all of the miscreanted d’weeded deplorables. Oh, and you DON’T get to have your way with ANY of the Adorable Deplorables. Trust me on that one, I’ve tried.

Now, where’s the snacky stuff, refreshing beverages, and some decent seegars? I was 60 klicks outside the wire when the WOT dropped, done built me up a powerful thirst…and I got the munchies.


Bim’s BAM!

Rats of the Cong to ya, Bim.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66



Third. DAMN EARLY!!!!


Have a lovely weekend.
Congrats Bim
Rule with a firm, even, just and loving hand…

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

The countdown to Tuesday the 8th for my left shoulder rotator cuff surgery begins. Back in September of 2016, I had rotator cuff surgery on my right shoulder where the long head of the bicep muscle tore off plus the other problem I’ve had since 1971. 2016 had me leaving walmart and I was pushing or pulling my Springfield SC .40 holster on my belt to re position it and I heard a popping noise which was the long head separating.


Dang, Jeff,
Prayers for a successful surgery and complete recovery.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Thanks for your prayers Graybeard. If I didn’t have any bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.


All hail Bim!
Don’t swim with power tools, Check ID before ‘tab A into slot B’, if you ask yourself “am I too drunk to X,Y,Z?” you too drunk, make sure to fill your tank BEFORE takeoff and take all directions from the tower.
Have a great weekend y’all!


Some Serbs 1992 rolling a anti-ship mine down a mountain side,,, Pure vodka in action.


If you’re ever bored, the subreddit for Just your everyday occurrence in Russia is endlessly entertaining. It’s a lot like Appalachia, but with even fewer safety regulations from which to start.


A Proud Infidel®™

Top Ten and Honorary First once again.


The Other Whitey

For those interested.



Looking good on the progress, TOW! Thanks for the update. I look forward to these post every week.

You da Man! That Hot Wife of yours getting settled into the new crib yet?

The Other Whitey

She’s loving everything about it except the weather. She’s looking at new furniture, arranging and rearranging what we already have to decide how she likes it, picking out rugs, etc. Making the place her own, as it should be.

She’s even granted me a bit of gun-buying money!


Hot wife AND gun buying money? Now you’re just gloating.

The Other Whitey

Yeah, well…


That TBM is looking good, TOW.


I WUZ ROBBED of the chance to be a competitor.

AT&T had a days-long system outage for interwebz in the GB AO that just now came back.

Got some work done outside, but the heat & 100% humidity will drain an old man quickly.

In the middle of putting up some fig preserves like my grandmother made. When they’re done gonna have to make some good ol’ Southern Biscuits like my Mama made, butter ’em hot, and dump a spoonful on each half.

All y’all Southern boys and girls, can I get a “Hallelujah Amen!” ?

Enjoy your weekend. More rain in our AO. My garden is a marsh.


To paraphrase an old school tune Graybeard; “Don’t bogart that biscuit, My Friend…Pass it over to me…” Hallelujah!!! AMEN!

AT&T, or as some of us referred to them, “The Death Star Company” has/had as one of their Saying/Directives that the employees were supposed to practice on a regular basis; “The Customer Rules”. Virtue signaling at it’s finest before that became the new, in, buzz word. Another Logo was “Re-Think Possible”. Call ’em up and ask them if it is possible for them to re-think and follow the Rules and start giving “Customer Service”. You think they treat the paying public bad, try working for them these days. For those that are there; The Struggle is Real.


Yeah, KoB ol’ buddy. If I had any real choice I would not remain enslaved to AT&T’s “service”

But so far I’ve got 12 pints up, starting on another 6. When you get here I’ll whip up some biscuits and feast you on ’em.

Give me enough of a heads up and I’ll have some Shier Bock in the fridge, too.

Mrs. GB and I done finished up the blackberry cobbler, though. Sorry.


“Don’t Bogart that joint, my friend” – Fraternity of Man, no?


UPDATE: Sunday lunch was some of Mrs. GB’s squash casserole with buttered “pop” biscuits with the fig preserves on ’em.
The batch turned out real good, KoB brother.


Go ahead and poke that Bear a bit more with your gloating, my Brother. I see how you do me. Tell you what…you go ahead and make another cobbler, I’LL bring the frosty Shier Bock…AND some Vanilla Bean Ice Cream.

Cheesy squash casserole and blackberry cobbler was on the table yesterday, along with the other menu items listed on the Thursday are for cooking segment. Had some grilled Conecuh Sausage with BBQ Bacon on cat heads for brunch this morning to keep the food coma going.


From the Babylon Bee, but all too close to reality these days:

Commissioner Wretched

Well, with full congratulations to Bim for his first FIRST on the WOT, I hereby relinquish any claims I may have had on the throne, crown, and scepter. Instead, I’ll supply the weekly trivia, for all to enjoy. Read on! DID YOU KNOW…? Does a micronation have an ongoing war with a country that no longer exists? By Commissioner Wretched Lately some of my e-mails have a common thread. Many of you appear to like the goofy laws I put into the column from time to time, and more than a few of you have asked me to do a column of nothing but those silly things. After spending due time considering the idea, I think I will do just that – not this week, but soon. I’ll create a trivia column full of silly laws that are still on the books, even if they’re never enforced. And in this week’s offering, you will find the reasoning behind one of what is considered the silliest. So let’s get to the trivia, for soon the Long Arm of the Silly Laws will be upon us! Did you know … … polar bears can eat 150 pounds of meat at a sitting? (Living in the Arctic, the rest goes into the freezer – which is just about anywhere.) … a popular toy was used by the military as a detection device? United States military forces in Iraq used Silly String™ to detect trip wires. Before entering a room, troops would spray the Silly String inside, and if it were to hang up in the air, a wire may have been in the room. (I’ll bet the barracks parties are a lot of fun, too!) … many ridiculous laws you hear about are still on the books, sometimes having very valid reasons for existing? Take, for example, the classic one out of Alabama, where it remains illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket. While nobody with any sense would carry an ice cream cone in his back pocket today, the reason for this law is anything but silly. Back… Read more »


Have to work all weekend.

Also, the Lakers and LeStupid are having an early first round exit in the playoffs, after that epic beat down by the Suns last night.

I am a happy man.


June 4, 1942, the 79’Th anniversary of the Battle of Midway. As usual since it finally came out, I watched the 2019 version of the battle on Amazon. I know that nobody here likes the movie because it doesn’t do this or it does that and the old Veterans wouldn’t watch it and would throw wet toilet paper at the movie screen because it is so incredibly bad….. Well, I like it, it is ten thousand times better than the star studded Midway that centered around, not the Battle of Midway but Charlton Hesston’s whiny bitch son, a supposed Navy pilot that did nothing but whine about his girlfriend even at the end of the movie after Hesston’s character missed his landing on the ship and crashed in a blaze of glory. That was his father and all the kid did was WAAAAHHHHH about her picture !!!!! I hate that movie more than any other that has ever been made about anything military. It is by far the worst and shows a huge mess being pushed back then that was the first generation of hate America and everything about it and has matured, if you can call it that, into biteme, bunboi’s chicken legged, hollow chested whiny ass pukes that get scared and call the teacher when someone calls them the pussy little men that they are… Anyway, may all those that fought and died in that huge conflagration that the Battle of Midway receive the Godspeed Blessings of a just and loving higher power, whatever and whomever they may be called. That battle is probably the most written about from the War in the Pacific, per Chester I Nimitz, when he refers to the battles he fought in the Pacific Theatre. Dick Best, Nimitz, Halsey and all those major players and the little guys that fought and died bravely brought nothing but the pride of a mission well accomplished, I place a Hand Salute to all those….. We are just blessed my friends, say what you want, we are blessed to have had those men and women in our… Read more »



Hack Stone

Do you Adorable Deplorables realize that this past May was the 8 year anniversary of the Phil Monkress thread posting on This Ain’t Hell, and was the genesis of countless spinoff threads and sequels that amused and educated us over the years? Phildo gave us Paul Of The Ballsack, who allied himself with Daniel Bernath and Dallas Wittgenfeld, which was the inspiration for The Dutch Rudder Gang, which brought Joe Cryer into the Axis Of Idiots.

Phil Monkress takes quite a bit of well deserved abuse, but he has the intrinsic leadership skills that can inspire an employee to willingly sacrifice his professional reputation, his career, his home, his life savings and marriage so that Phil could go on living the fantasy of being a US Navy SEAL, only to toss said employee aside like a used tissue.

On the plus side, if Phil Monkress did not have easily manipulated employees, Hack Stone would have never been hired by Elaine Ricci as Director Of Media Relations.



A “where are they today” post on the DRG and other notables (e.g., Chevy, Forging Frank, Round, …) would be interesting and fun. I thought I had a Round Ranger sighting last week but confidence level very low.

Hack Stone

It’s as if Round Ranger disappeared in fat air.

You know how they have those 1980’s Retro Cruises, with all of the bands that used to headline areas but now play lesser known casino ballrooms? Wish there was a similar event for the “classic” stolen valor miscreants. Dullass could open with his Purple Clown outfit, Joe Cryer can get the ladies hot with his Chunkendale Dancer routine, Crybaby Cio Stephen Burrell could read passages from Weekend At Rita’s, and Jarrett Gimbl can perform with his dog Gunny.

A Proud Infidel®™️

As well as “Blobfish” showing up wearing his lab coat in search of his next Bride if he isn’t still in jail enjoying the company of Bubba, Thor, Julio and “Tiny Tyrone” every shower time!

Hack Stone

Great news, you Adorable Deplorables!!! If you have hankering for a Gorilla Cookie, you no longer have to work your way through an MRE to get one. Apparently Air Force Two is handing them out, and Willing Brown was in charge of frosting the pearl necklaces.