To Kill or Not Kill Joe the Pigeon

| January 14, 2021 | 20 Comments

At the risk of getting our web blog shut down, we post about the dilemma to kill Joe the Pigeon or not.  That said, if you should happen to feel favorable to having little Joey put down, please do not say “Kill Joe” lest that be construed as hate speech and a metaphor for something else.  We do not condone violence or death.  We believe in life and second chances… at least I do.  We believe that all things can be resolved peacefully and with dialogue.

That may not be the case with USA’s Joe the Pigeon.

It seems Joe flew across the ocean to eventually land, exhausted I might add, in Australia.  However, Joe is seen as possibly haboring parasites or a disease carrier so therefore the Australian authorities want to put him down.  That’s a polite way of saying to snuff out his candle, kick his bucket, feed the flowers, [insert metaphor here].

Some say the bird may have hitched a ride on a ship.  The bird was named for the U.S. President-elect but the metaphor stops there.

The bird is not a terrorist but they believe he still represents a threat and must be eliminated.  The irony of the pigeon’s plight is not lost.

Australia to Kill US Pigeon That Made It Across the Pacific
It considers the racing pigeon a quarantine threat

A racing pigeon has survived an extraordinary 8,000-mile Pacific Ocean crossing from the United States to find a new home in Australia. Now authorities consider the bird a quarantine risk and plan to kill it. Kevin Celli-Bird said Thursday he discovered that the exhausted bird that arrived in his Melbourne backyard on Dec. 26 had disappeared from a race in the US state of Oregon on Oct. 29. Experts suspect the pigeon that Celli-Bird has named Joe, after the US president-elect, hitched a ride on a cargo ship to cross the Pacific. Joe’s feat has attracted the attention of the Australian media but also of the notoriously strict Australian Quarantine and Inspection Service, reports the AP. Celli-Bird said quarantine authorities called him on Thursday to ask him to catch the bird.

“They say if it is from America, then they’re concerned about bird diseases,” he said. When the bird arrived “he was pretty emaciated so I crushed up a dry biscuit and left it out there for him,” Celli-Bird noted. “Next day, he rocked back up at our water feature, so I wandered out to have a look at him because he was fairly weak and he didn’t seem that afraid of me and I saw he had a blue band on his leg. Obviously, he belongs to someone, so I managed to catch him,” he added. Cellis-Bird, who says he has no interest in birds “apart from my last name,” said he could no longer catch the pigeon with his bare hands since it had regained its strength. He said the Oklahoma-based American Pigeon Union had confirmed that Joe was registered to an owner in Montgomery, Ala. He said quarantine authorities were now considering contracting a professional bird catcher.

Why can’t Trump pardon Joe?
. . .
There was a similar incident during the US intervention in Lebanon.  The Marines adopted a small black goat and there was a news story about it.  “General Billy” loved attention and would always seek it out – in addition to his next meal.  He especially liked ponchos and poncho liners – go figure. People were fascinated and arrangements were made for the goat to be transported to the US to participate as an honored guest in the Rose Bowl Parade and live out the rest of his life on a farm in California.
Someone forgot to mention all of this to U.S. Customs as well as the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the goat was put down upon arrival in the U.S.  So, Billy could have lived out his life in a third world country or die free in the United States – which he did.  That is the story of “General Billy,” who was featured in Soldier of Fortune magazine, but the rest of the story was not well known.
. . .
Billy survived bullets and bombs in a war-torn country, only to be killed by bureaucrats in the U.S.
. . .
Here is the Soldier of Fortune photo of General Billy in Lebanon…
. . .
So, what will become of Joe the Pigeon?
. . .

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Politics

Comments (20)

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  1. Sapper3307 says:

    NO BORDERS!!!!
    Not a criminal a refugee.

  2. AZRobert says:

    Lynyrd Skynyrd

    Nuff said…

  3. Mason says:

    This is how bad Oregon has become. First chance he gets, the little guy flees. After two long months he lands in a truly free country where there is no gun violence or COVID. This land of opportunity welcomes him with his execution.

  4. OldManchu says:

    Lars wants the pigeon to wear a mask!

  5. KoB says:

    Seems I recollect another flock of birds that had planned to fly the coop to “Down Under” back during the 2016 Election. Would the Australians have put them to death because of their parasitic nature? One could only wonder. Would Joe The Pigeon become part of a pie, fried up with gravy and smashed taters…with Le’Suer Peas…with peral onyons and ‘shrooms? How about if he made it into the dumplin’ pot? So many options. This won’t take the place of the Thursdays are for Cooking Thread will it? Sorry for the hi-jack of the thread. I was watching at the TV, a favorite Soap Opry was on. Another episode of “As The Stomach Growls.” This was to be followed up by a showing of that Culinary Justice System’s Slaw and Order…Southern Vittles Unit. Would having Joe for dinner cause a person to get “Pigeon Toed?”

    There’s a little bird “Down Under” that I wouldn’t mind nesting with. I Kid (you not) Man, that Nicole would make me wanna leave that Urban home. I think that she was with a little twerpy fellow a but bit back that went all Maverick, thinking she was gonna cook his goose. He put that marriage on ice, man thinking he was in a danger zone. Dumbass!

  6. So the guy in his prison cell goes to the crapper to take a wiz and sees a bird staring up at him from the inside of the crapper and the guy has a perplexed look on his face, and the bird says to him: Don’t be alarmed, I’m no stool Pigeon.

  7. Sapper3307 says:

    First Trumps Twitter is pulled now they kill his messenger pidgins.

  8. ninja says:

    Ex wrote:

    “Billy survived bullets and bombs in a war-torn country, only to be killed by bureaucrats in the U.S.”

    Ex, appreciate you sharing with us the story about General Billy (goat)…

    Was not aware about him, but have to admit, have never read a Soldier of Fortune Magazine..


    Thank You again!

  9. 26Limabeans says:

    At least he wasn’t Signal…

  10. AW1Ed says:

    Eddie Murphy unavailable for comment.

  11. 5JC says:


    Missed it by “that” much!

  12. Anonymous says:

    Send him back to the States.

  13. ninja says:

    UPDATE to the story.

    The pigeon is not from the United States.

    “Fake US Leg Band Gets Pigeon A Reprieve In Australia”

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