Air Force veteran, legendary badass going to court to defend his erection’s honor
Chuck Norris tears cure coronavirus. Too bad he never cries.
It seems there’s a company out there selling boner pills through deceptive advertising. The clickbait uses Norris’ likeness to get you to click into a fake Fox News article that claims Norris has developed a new erectile dysfunction pill.
Obviously this is false, Chuck Norris once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors. Since then, Norris has used his extensive knowledge of Far Eastern disciplines to maintain unerring control over all of his bodily functions. Legend has it he once urinated in a semi’s fuel tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. Norris doesn’t flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.
TMZ reports;
Chuck Norris is going after a company that’s using his iconic action star status and masculine reputation to sell boner pills … according to a new lawsuit. The “Walker, Texas Ranger” star’s suing a company he believes goes by a couple different names — Bio-Molecular Solutions and Biogenetics — claiming it’s using his famous name and face to promote a product called Provitra … which is like Viagra. Norris claims his wife, Gena — who’s also suing the company — discovered the scam in June, when she saw an online ad with a provocative headline, “A Tragic End Today for Chuck Norris.” According to the docs … once the ad is clicked, the reader is taken to another site that looks very similar to a Fox News article with the headline, “Big Pharma In Outrage Over Norris’ New ED Product…Chuck Kicks Back With This!” Norris claims the phony article — which features a photo of him and his wife — includes completely false assertions throughout, including that he “revealed his new Erectile Dysfunction cure on the Dr. Phil Show.” Finally, the phony article includes a call to action to receive a free bottle of the ED pills, and all the hyperlinks take the reader to a third website — a point-of-sale page for Provitra … according to the lawsuit. Norris says neither he nor Gena have ever authorized the company — or any others in the boner biz — to use their names, photos or likenesses and are not receiving any compensation for the ads. He also says this isn’t the first time they’ve had to do battle over scam ads. According to the suit, they tried to stop a similar illegal scam in 2019 and were successful for awhile … but it recently came raging back. Chuck and his wife are seeking damages from the company and want it to stop making false representations about them.
Source; TMZ
Category: Air Force, Exploitation, Hollywood, Internet
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.
Chuck Norris eats babies and shits out Delta Force Team members.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris built the Hospital that he was born in.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on because the dark is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris never joined the Air Force.
The Air Force joined him.
Chuck Norris does not do push ups. He pushes the earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe. He holds air hostage.
Oh, lawdy, is nothing sacred any more?
No.
And Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Thank you for giving me a laugh so loud I woke the cat!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
You can’t make this stuff up.
Apparently Bio-Molecular Solutions made it up.
You have to watch out for any company that has Solutions in their name, they are a shifty bunch. Wondering if Bio-Molecular Solutions has a door on their mailbox.
“When two friends spot Chuck Norris at their local diner they swap stories about Chuck’s folklore, and wonder aloud “If he’s still got it.” Watch what happens when they decide to challenge Chuck Norris’s abilities.”
“I heard Chuck Norris….” Fill In The Blank!
I took Provita and now my dick is harder than times in 29, it is so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it.
That company pulled a real boner by their false advertising.
One of my favorites……
That video is obvious bullshit. Everyone knows you couldn’t get two C-5’s to be airworthy at the same time.
Do you know what it means when there are ten C-5’s on the ramp and seven are on jackstands? It means they ran out of jackstands.
I heard that if you talk smack about Chuck Norris online he will appear and smash your face with your own keyboard. I call bullshit on that since Chuck Norris is a pusspaowheoaig;oaihgosahighasljgaohgagea
I hear he makes great pizza, too.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky, and is currently ranked #3 in this week’s AP Poll.
Chuck Norris once called a Delaware street thug named who goes by the name Corn Pop “Esther Williams” and lived to tell about it.
Met him a few time back in my younger DC days.
He was old then. He would come by and shake hands with the boys, etc. The brass would literally close the door on you so they could work his balls. Hey, its Chuck, after all.
He looked pretty old then without the make up. Short dude, to boot.
Chuck Norris dribbles bowling balls.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray. On his steak.
One day after eating at Texas Roadhouse, Chuck Norris farted, and got propelled into outer space all the way to Mars. That’s why there is no life on Mars.
The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris shaves by round housing himself in the face because the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
When asked about Provita, the former Speaker of the House, John Boehner, had no comment – other than to say that he wished people would quit misspelling his name when referring to them.
(smile)
Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade, and killed 50 people…then it exploded.
When Chuck Norris left for college, he told his father…you’re the man of the house now.
…And to be serious for a moment, SGM Thomas Payne is to be presented his MoH today by Pres Trump. Only the third D Boy to be awarded. Don’t expect a book by the SGM anytime soon.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
World War II ended Sept. 2 1945.
What a coincidence.
Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear Rug at home. The bear’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris once shot an azimuth that killed an entire Enemy platoon.