Why I hate Fox News
I stopped watching FoxNews in about 2001. Honestly, I can’t stand even flipping over there. First off, the only ones I liked were Tony Snow and Britt Hume. O’Reilly is a bit of a jackass whose defense for being a boor to a female employee and essentially engaging in phone sex with her was his “Irish blood.” I gotta be honest, not once has my Irish Blood kicked in to the point I wanted to call my secretary and ask her about her loofah skills. Second, Shep Smith has girl eyes. Yeah, I said it, he has the eyes of girls. No man should have eyes like that. If you took his eyes you could put them on Mariah Carey and they’d look normal. Same with Geraldo’s mustache. I mean, not that Mariah has a mustache or anything.
Plus, FoxNews is just so ghetto. Face it, the fate of Natalee Holoway ranks right up there on my “have to know” scale with wondering what happens if you eat nothing but corn, blueberries and peanuts for 2 weeks. Actually lower, because Southern Dem and I tried the other thing. It’s roughly what you would expect.
But, I used to go to Foxnews.com, because they sometimes had some interesting crap. Only today at work I went there and the headline was “You Decide: Does the Baby Look Like John Edwards?” I shit you not, that was the main story. Now, granted I was only going there for naked pictures of Ms California, but damn people, who gives a shit if the readers think it looks like him? How is that news?
Dude, that baby looks like every white kid I know between 2-4. I think it may be my friend Dud’s kid. And then I started thinking, well, what if anyone gave a crap about me, what about that picture that my gal put on my facebook as a joke? Hell, even I admit the kid looks like me, and I swear I have never met the Mom. Little dude is wearing tan and drools. I’m like 0-2 on the deniability scale here, does that mean the kid is mine?
I think my buddy Sniper may have some explaining to do too.
ON EDIT: Here’s my actual nieces. Or, at least my sister in law claims they are, but they look a lot more like the dude that delivers the Philly newspaper to their house than my brother. Either way Caro and I would have Ginger kids probably, and if South Park has taught me anything, it’s that ginger kids have no souls.
Category: Politics
Hey, at least they don’t have that freak Nancy Grace on there…wtf, man…she’s been bitching about this “Tot Mom” now since the friggin’ Spanish-American War. I’m surprised that they aren’t parading around her used tampons and reporting the last time the woman took a healthy shit. I mean, for real…I’ll take “girl eyes” over “bleached blonde PMS queen” any day of the week.
Nancy Grace sucks, she annoyed me with both Tot Mom and the Duke Lacrosse stuff.
TSO…Just the sound of her voice makes me want to mash my own eyes out! DAyum!!
BTW…Tell your sister in law she does pretty work.Great looking kids.
Um…already talking about you and Caro having kids. Did I miss the wedding?
I agree for the most part, but, Glenn Beck is amazing! No one else compares…
I’m with you. I don’t think Fox is all that attractive. But . . . I’m glad they’ll pursue political stories the Networks won’t.
Oh, and, by the way . . .. I can’t stand Michael Savage for very long either.
But I got a crush on Patty Ann Brown and I’ve had yellow fever for about 25 years now. I guess that makes me a convert. Seriously, they do pursue a lot of stories that the other media doesn’t. And I can’t stand even one second of the Oberfuhrer.
Shep has the girl eyes. His penis is a girl’s penis too
David told me Shep is gay. But Terri Jones is in love with him. Go figure, it’s weird out there.
Shep and Anderson Cooper is boyfriends
My cat likes to wear dresses in private. So does Shep!
leaves. file cabinet. fried chicken. Nickel. oil slick.
I used to date shep but he dumped me for Elton John.
Megan Kelly.
I second what Matt so brilliantly pointed out…
MEGYN KELLY… She makes up for every shortcoming Fox has, or could ever have…
BTW, I would do Shep.
What Matt said, Megyn Kelly!!!!!! Fox has the best news babes.
I miss Brit and Tony too.
I still try to watch the panel at 6:40 and I like Cavuto, but that’s about it.
Shep was actually becoming a real journalist and then….. Katrina happened and he went full-on Geraldo.
Here’s Jeff Goldstein’s recitation of some stuff that Shep did during Katrina that I missed but it surely appears to be in line with what I remember of Shep during the Katrina deal.
TSO, your nieces are adorable :o)
tso lmao. that was fun. but you’re wrong about fox: hemmer and megyn kelly are good and some others. fox and friends is fun too. i like hannity. glen beck? he cries more then me and my baby combined.
oh, and ginger kids? adorable.
Posts 8 – 13 were posted by the same idiot. It’s a creep that goes around blogs that mention Shep and then posts with names other than her own. Impostor.
TSO Wrote: Yeah, I saw that the IPs were the same. But, to be honest, we encourage crazy people to come here. We are actually #23 in the world in the demographic of virginal psychopathic females between the ages of 38 and 56. It’s an obscure fact to find, but I have it on good authority.
But, we won’t quit until we have the attention of every crazy person I assure you.
You caught me. I was drunk, I was lonely, I was deployed, I humped Chocolate Poodle… well, you know the rest of the story.
Just call me Snoop Baby Daddy.
Fox News does have some of the hottest leg on TV, though.
Im a pscypathic female, can i play too? I like to pretend im a police officer!!! Violet is a way weird so shes one of my best friends!!!!!!
oh and Violet (who is an imposter for Ronda) is a virgin, so she fits right in here! TSO i think you found your only true pscyopathic virgin. Ronda (Violet) is your gal!!!
yea, Ronda/Littrel/Violet/Murphy/RMS/ and all the alias you use, have you ever had sex? Im not talking about with Amanda (perversion with your female dorm mate how revolting barf)I mean have you had it with someone who has a penis?????????????
Dam. This Ronda Violet person shows up everywhere. Mabye if she got laid she wouldnt be in such a bad mood. I love Davie Shankbone!
Megyn Kelly has uneven nostrils. One is way bigger and higher than the other