Randolph Walter German; phony Marine, POW & Vietnam Vet
I hijacked this from Scotty’s house about Randy German who claims that he’s a weapons expert and a sniper. According to Scotty, his awards span over 33 years of service, yet he has one service stripe. I guess the other 10 stripes would make his uniform look crowded and draw attention from his ribbons. But those are a lot of ribbons, for someone who spent three years as a cook, when he wasn’t serving a sentence after a summary court martial;
The Marines differ somewhat with Randy on how many ribbons he has;
Scotty writes;
He claims to be a Marine Corps sniper and weapons expert, yet wears a first award expert rifle badge and pistol sharpshooter badge and none of the devices I would expect to see on the uniform of a career sniper or Recon Marine, including jump wings or dive bubble. As I mentioned, he wears the POW Medal, yet appears in no POW registry I can find. He wears the extremely rare Navy Marine Corps Medal, typically awarded for noncombat lifesaving. And through his many private messages bragged excessively about his Marine Corps service
His defense is that Mary pasted his name into someone else’s records, because, you know, Mary isn’t busy enough that she has to make up phony records. But, there’s more at Scotty’s place. You should click over because he makes up dead wives and pretends that he’s really the “Saluting Marine”.
Category: Phony soldiers
Yeah, but DaveO, spiffy wasn’t funny.
DaveO: I’m pretty sure Sharm L’s writing tongue-in-cheek.
Here’s your green berray, Hondo.
Dude was known by the VC as “lon duc dong”… fought Uncle Ho hand to hand at the Battle of Poon Tang. /sarc
Assclown was FUBAR as a Marine, probably was called an Ex-Marine by his unit when they kicked his no-load ass out. Wonder if some of his former Marine buddies know that he’s passing himself off as being a “hero”
EX-PH2, yes dadio, I am writing novels, you can have a peek at some on Amazon, Foot in the Door, and The 29th Day under one’s pen name Jason Bruce.
The Sharnell character is just someone whom I’ve used on another thread here, and if you have a gleg, you’ll see that I’m English, live in Japan, and am so bored that I write this kind of stuff to amuse myself during these cold, and tectonic lithosperic plate shifting nights.
I am but a jester, thus I quote Shakespeare, or rather the
character of Malvolio in Twelfth Night, “Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.”
Right, just off back to the second grade to write a tad more.
Sharn…Sharn…oh, shit!
Jason.
I was rolling reading “Sharn L’s” comments lol. After “Green Berray RTD” turned to “Army Black Ops Retired”, I figured it was nothing more that a gag. Good shit lol.
Shit the bed, Sarnell is out of retirement. EdUSMCCleg dude, you have given him new life, and the former disgraced black ops dood is back with a vengence. Watch this space.
Sharnell (Shit, I keep saying that because of reasons of national…bastard piss…I plead the fifth!
Chill peeps, Sharnell is about to tell you some of the things he got up to in the jungle, the desert, and his local Walmart.
Sharnell is dead (for a while) long live the Sharn!
Jason.
That shit’ll play pretty well over on 4chan. The /b tards will believe anything you put up there.
All you guys have never seen on day in the GREEN of Vietnam, jungle forests so thick you’d think it was night in the early afternoon. That’s the spot where Ran the Dolph man spent six months in a bamboo cage up to his neck in snake infested water!
Randolph survived, got my dad, and six other P.O.W’s outa there after taking out the guards during a game of Russian roulette.
Somebody needs to make a movie out of this stuff guys, for real!
Sharnell Ludgrow (Navy SEAL Advisor Retired)
Freakin’ shame a real Marine sniper can’t use him for target practice.
And welcome to Sharn! This is the first I’ve seen of your posts. Hope you come here more often!
PintoNag, virtual handshake dadio. I just write this shhtuff because I’m a bit bored. However, I have, in the past, been a Chinese doctor, a wannabee Russian novelist (that really pissed all of the mods off) a dude who took some funny tasting mushrooms (mods pissed off again on that fasting website) but for you my friend Sharnell Ludgrow is gonna hang upside down from a helicopter above shark infested pools in the pits of, well, err, Hell.
Cheers old chap, Jason.
Hey, Jason — OOOPS! My BADDDD! Sorry.
Hey, Sharn. Best to you and your endeavors to persevere with pen and paper, or sumi-e ink and brush, just keep all secret squirrel messages under wraps till nuts drop.
Ex-PH2 (Not dadio. Catmom)
Hi Ex baby, funny thing is, my father in-law was a caligraphy teacher, my wife is a crazed babe fest From Kochi,(though she has somewhat of a bag on with me at the moment) and, err, we had a bit of an earthquake a little while ago. (Not as bad as the ear bending I got the other day frrom said better half, only magnitude three)
I started out writing leaving speeches for the fellows I worked with in the Royal Air Force, only because I can dig up the dirt, hand it to you on a silver platter, then…err, well, the boss cuts most of the content out. Shame, because the man who tried to hang himself from the third floor, jumped, and the rope was too long causing him to break both of his legs…
Sharnell is the man, he’s done it all, as have every member of his family, including his mum, and she will speak soon!
Jason.
You guys want the proof? You can’t HANDLE the proof…direct quote from Randolph this a.m in his first ever interview on air with fellow ex vet, and recipricant of ten purple hearts for valor, S**tstorm Bob, at Radio K*****lx!
SB: “Hi Rando, nice to have you on the show.”
RD: “How’s the kids?”
SB: “A lot safer away from you Randy.”(Laughs)
RD: “Come again…”
SB: “Not on my watch you sick old…I digress…what you
been up to since the last time we met…err back in…”
RD: “Durin’ ah, sixty nine…”
SB: “He Rand, this is a family show…time out on that one.”
(Laughs hysterically)
RD: “What in the…you must still be carryin’ shrapnell
around in your ass…”
SB: “Not these days, he ran off with someone else.” (Giggles)
RD: “Whatever…so as I was sayin’, we were in Lang Dong at
the time on a black op posing as kitchen hands…”
SB: “Mmm, kitchen hands, they sound warm.”
RD: “So the only tricky part of the deal was to smuggle the
guns into the embassy…”
SB: “Again Rand, this is a family show.”
RD: “So I get close enough to the General, and shoves a
spatula right in his…”
SB: “Err, have to take a quick commercial break…”
Asshole cut off Randy’s mike after that, never once talked about the book he’s got coming out, ‘Feared Danger’ about all the wet work he had to do. Sensership is what it is!
Sharnell Ludgrow (Unclassified Specialist Retired)
I bounced a signal off of a satelite from and unspecified agency to get you guys part two of the Randy man’s interview, recorded the first half. Have on sports fans.
SB: “And back from commercial, next caller…yes, go ahead Carl in Seatle.”
Carl: “I’m a veteran…”
SB: “Thanks there Carl, next caller…yes, Tammy, go ahead.”
Tammy: “My dad was planning to go to Vietnam, but University got in the way, (laughs) then he talked a lot about…”
SB: “Okay, so turning back to our guest…”
RD: “It was like the time we s**t blood together durin’ the Wang Sop seige, when the tanks rolled in, and that young boy…”
SB: “Yes, next caller from…”
Rudy: “Hi, Rudy…Baker from…”
SB: “Sorry there Rudy…and back to the book Rando, it’s…”
RD: “Five hundred pages, almost, at least. So we got this grenade, pulled the guard’s pants down, yanked ot the pin, and stuck it right up his…”
SB: “Next caller…”
These bozos no nothin about how to treat our heros!
Sharnell Ludgrow (Sharpshooter/ Spotter FBI Retired)
Sharn, you are a funny, funny guy.
Ex my love, there is SO much more to come, you name it Catmom, Sharnellius, the III wil do it standing on his head.
All the best, Jas.
Okay, here’s a question. If you eat with your left hand, what do you do with your right?
Sharnell would reach out with it, and, still with food in his mouth, ala Oliver Twist, say, “Please Sir, can I have some more…Dadio?!”
Ex Dudeete, you is waitin’ for the Sharn, so wait for the next drive by writttin’ baby. Part threeeeee is forthcoming. The Sharnell has a few more chapters to RIGHT!
Cheers Baberaham Lincoln, the English Patient…oh, s**t, I injured my…mmm thank you nurse? Mmm.
Jasebook is now online. Cheers peeps.
The guverment tried to syop his records getting known after the Poon Tang incident, where he braught down a Mig 75, but the man just keeps coming back!
Minoxville Recorder: (Randy the hit man) “The guy flew over our concrete bunkers, dropped flyers for f**k’s sake!
Direct quote ladies and whatever. Randy man is only weapon we will ever need!
Sharnell Ludgrow (Sniper Reserve Retired)
I only asked, because I eat with my right hand and signal for more food with my left. Doppelgangers.
Having you been drinking tea with no sugar again?
Ex, the dude only drinks Shochu, or the blood of the grape. And don’t type so loud, as the wife and kids shall be awoken!
Jas.
And here, I was picturing someone in full regimentals of the 95th Rifles under Wellington, deep in a large brandy, trying to light a fat cigar.
Ex dudeling, one has to go to bed now. Fat cigar? My dad, who looked like Sean Connery, only a foot shorter, smoked a pipe.
Gotta sleep, 3:33 a.m my dear. Sharnell will be back with a hangover, an M60, and a tattoo on his arm mentioning you.
Sweet dreams, Jas.
Pucker up civillans, cause here is part three of THE interview of the last hundred years!
SB: “And we’re back on the air…”
RD: “So I lay out outside the building for three days…”
SB: (Laughs) “Homeless is where the HEART is.”
RD: “So the Field Marshall, or General, or whatever, (laughs)
comes right out on the balcony, takes out his POCKET knife, if you know what I’m sayin’…”
SB: “We got, we got a caller…yes, go ahead, err, Bill…”
RD: “Then I get my spotter to range me right on the end of his…”
SB: “Sorry there Bill, call ya back…”
RD: “Put a round straight through his…”
SB: (Coughs) “Back in the day, you worked as a cook, right?”
RD: “So the end came right off…”
SB: “Isn’t it true about you getting a three mile shot with a modified M40 during a monsoon?”
RD: “That’s, yeah…but the look on the guy’s face when he got a look at the blood pumpin’ out the end of his…”
SB: “Hoooo, we got another caller…Hal in err, yeah Hal, go ahead.”
(The next call was me using a fake name. Enjoy)
Hal: “Err, Randolph, I hear you was just a cook.”
RD: “What in the (deleted due to content)I weren’t no cook…never have been, never will be! I was a sniper…wanna see my medals of honor?!”
Hal: (Me) “People are sayin’ that your claims in your first book, ‘Radical Perception-A Guide To Assassination) were false…”
RD: “If you’ve seen the things I’ve seen you little…”
SB: “Gonna have to cut you off there Hal…next caller.”
Mary: (Cries) “How can you justify murder…even in a war?”
SB: “Good question…and as a decorated veteran myself…”
RD: “You got shot ten times, and three of them was in the ass!”
SB: “My ten purple hearts trump your three medals of diner quality cooking you son of a…”
Fighting ensues, and the show goes off the air. Such a shame that a radio host of that statute needed to stoop so low!
Sharnell Ludgrow (International Bodyguard Semi Retired)
@21…
Come on now Hack…weren’t we at one of those Comm Bns together awhile ago?? I seem to recall you fit in rather nicely at the “Crime Bn”…..
Back to this sh!t stain, his uniform and story are more f@cked up than a football bat.
Sharn L, you need a South Park cartoon episode all to yourself.
Ex my dear, could you please clarify if the previous person was calling myself a hack, or Sharnell? Pray tell the poster in question has read all of da s**t I is ritten previous?
And to quote George Santayana, “Beneath the world of men of power and influence, the pen is mightier than the sword.”
Is it just me?
Hack? I thought I was a Troll…go finger!
Jas.
S**tstorm Bob gets a surprize folks…check it out.
SB: “And we’re back, next caller…err Bolleen…”
Bolleen: (My mom) “You got a book out, right?”
SB: “If you like, I can get somethin’ else out.”
Bolleen: “So your show…”
SB: “Now you want me to show it? (Hiccups) Have on!”
Bolleen: “Just a question, have you been drinkin’?”
SB: “Ohhh, caller on the line…from, err…yes, Joe?”
Joe: “Firstly it’s JO!”
SB: “Sorry there honey…”
Jo: “You (deleted due to content) and use olive oil to shove it up your…”
SB: Back to, err Balloon, or whtever…”
Bolleen: “I saw some picture of you standin’ with the President…”
SB: (Smirks) “Oh, which one?”
Bolleen: “What the (deleted due to content) boy!”
My mom whooped his azz!
Sharnell Ludgrow (Agent Orange Victim Retired)
Sharn, you devilish handsome fellow – NO, no, no! The CWO5 (Chief Warrant Officer) was addressing an individual at #21 entry above who uses the moniker Hack Stone. Pleasant fellow, also devilish handsome.
Carry on. Go snabble up some crabcakes for us, will you, before they’re all gone?
Sorry CW, message got scrambled, and thanks to you Ex for the info. Sharn’s reltives are about to land when I’ve had a few more (hic) drinks. And my dearest heart, you mention crabcakes, which are the dish my favorite chef, Gordon Ramsay always orders, then spits back out in Kitchen Nightmares.
Oh, dear me, isn’t Randolph a chef?
Err, yeah…
Take care peeps, Jas.
Seems like the world is righted itself on S**tstorm Bob’s radio show, and he’s ready to have Randy back on. Enjoy. SB: “Good morning sir, nice to have you with us on the sh…” Anonymous caller: “You mother(deleted due to content) and use my surfboard to (deleted due to content) with a picture of David Hasselhoff kickin’ down the Berlin wall, shoved all the way up your…” SB: “Hey, we got some great tunes coming up in a second, after this…” Some asshole in what sounds like the ocean: “Purity is the way nature cleanses us…Bravado, the smell of the beast, the mark of a man.” SB: “And thanks to our sponsors there…got a caller on the line…Gordon?” (This is me with some Scotch accent) Gordon: “Yeah, what the (deleted due to content) I was taught by the best…purple hearts, you name it…” SB: “You want purple hearts you Irish (deleted due to content) and your mother too!” (Musical interlude involving some Bobby Manilow guy) SB: “And we’re back with a VERY good friend of mine from my many, many tours in the jungles of Vietnam, Randy the Caveman.” RD: “How’s the family?” SB: “A lot safer since homeland security got on your ass after that incident with our Great Dane, in the pool.” RD: “I got cleared of that due to the excessive levels of Viagra in my blood that night…” SB: “And the new book…’Insurgents From Within’, let’s just take a little look at chapter, err, three…getting through the wire, we got spotted by a guard, a small guy with a scar on his left cheek, some nasal hair, and one leg a few inches shorter than the other, though it was hard to tell in the darkness…and in chapter, err four, you go on to say…the snakes were the worst during the escape through the river.” RD: (Hiccups) “You got a bathroom?” SB: “God, what’s that smell? Back in a few minutes after this.” (Plays some more Billy Manilow suff) What do these people have against a man who served his King and country, kept the flag… Read more »
Yes, when I still had a working TV, I could get Gordon Ramsay’s “F” word restaurant show. I always enjoyed watching him strip off on his way down the hallway. Made my day.
Crab cakes, lobster bisque, shrimp de jonghe, shrimp cocktail with a sauce that opens up your sinuses, plus a seriously aggressive round of whiskey-laden Mah Jongg.
I’ll get the board, you get the saucepans.
Take care Ex, nighty night for Sharn, Jas.
Ciao, dolce mio
What, you can’t spell chicken chow meen right?!
Sharnell, cease and dezzist!
Story for you Ex, as back in the day, as one might say…oh, that rhymes…
In training I was in a four man room with a Ninja, no word of a lie. (Karate man myself, but…) So me and the lads are about to go out on the pop (booze) and said person pulls out a bayonet, holds it to his throat, and starts crying.
I said, “What’s wrong?” (Taking the weapon from his hand)
“She’s left me.”
Then, from under his pillow, he pulls out another bayonet.
I take that off him, put it in my locker, and tell him not to do anything silly whilst we’re gone.
We come back from the pub, for a few more beers, and there he is, standing on a table in the middle of the room, a bungee cord around his neck, hooked onto an electrical conduit, and is just about to take it off, when Tommo, a Northern lad, says, “What ya doin’ man?!”
Tommo slams into the table, knocks it over, and the young man in question, his eyes still full of tears, bounces up and down a few times, before the clip on the bungee cord gives way.
Ex, wait ’till I tell you about my brother who blew up the main power cable to the city of Bath, and there was no power for a week…muuhaha.
Take care, Jas.
Wait. You put the knife in your locker? Why didn’t you put HIM in your locker?
The knife would have been perfectly safe from him if you’d taken it with you, too. And pity the poor bungee cord, before it gave way, the torment of trying to hold him up before the table runs out from under him. I’m telling you, Jas, furniture always has ulterior motives.
I sometimes take my knives out to get fresh air. They deserve it, now and then, along with the blood of a few crane flies.
Why ain’t you sleepin’?
Jas
I am. This is just my computer operating from the electrical discharge created by my befogged brain while I’m out making crop circles in my sleep.
I was shooting billiards a short while ago. I won. I always win.
Je vais dormir. Bonne nuit.
Ex, I is trying to watch a documentary called Breaking Vegas, as my better halh toils away making Hakama (Skirts for Japanese Shinto priests) in the adjacent room. Sharnell is sleeping at present, but shall return with a spear, or whatever. My dear heart, question…is it just me, or when you stop being a troll, the fan base dies off?
Take care, and get some sleep, because THIS IS SHARNTA!
Toodle pip, Jas.
Naw, it’s not you. They all went after Dougie Collett, who is a genuine troll, and some pseudo-intellectual keyboard clacker who annoyed everyone within his internet space.
You, dear fellow, are funny and wise. But they’re all on other threads or asleep at their keyboards.
WTF is going on here?
I think it’s a 12,000-mile off-topic flirtation, Lostboys. Could be wrong, though. (smile)
I think SharnL/Jas should be given an honorary post, as a relief from the genuine insanity of Doooglass Collette, who frightens whales, and the psychobabble of DW Whipitnflogit.
Hondo my friend, how is this off topic dude?
I served during the Gulf War, the Balkans Conflict, both of my grandfathers served, one in WW2, and the other in WW1, most of my family served. I hate fakes, and I have met a hell of a lot. The internet is a great place for people to remain behind a keyboard, tell stories about how they were Navy SEALs, and then go out for a Big Mac, milk shake, carry out a little drive by puking, etc.
Pray, call the Ministry of Defence, and give them my service number, R8404996, find out who I am, then show me yours.
Rant over.
And me and Ex is just plootoonic fraynzzzz.
Best regards, Jason.
Sharn L: ‘c’mon. You’re so blatantly flirting with Ex-PH2 that Stevie Wonder could see it, amigo. Nothing wrong with that, and at 12,000 miles separation platonic is kinda a given.
Your stuff above is seriously entertaining, mind you – and some of it is funny as hell. But yeah, it’s still a bit off-topic in comments to an article about a USMC washout who’s claiming to be a war hero and ex-POW.
‘Course, we do that all the time here at TAH. So carry on – so to speak. (smile)
Oh, and to quote that dude George Santayana for ya people what can’t read the whole thread, “The young man who has never cried is a savage. The old man who has never laughed is a fool.”
And Ex, yooz stay back baby, lest the fellas comes out to take ya from me honey bee!
Love ya, wanna hook up with ya baby, even though I’ve clearly stated for the readingly challenged in previous posts that I’m already married, and have two children.
Yeehawww, ain’t the internet the place to gets educated?
Again, my kindest regards, Jason.
Hondo, this one is for you baby, and this is a true story.
Some donkey in the Air Force goes to another base. The guard asks him to open the boot of his car. Dude tells him that he can’t because he’s in the SAS, and has to carry weapons. He gets back in his car, speeds away. The guard calls the Air Force police, who chase him, stop him, then search his boot. Oh dear me, no guns. He was a supplier, who then split up with his girlfriend after finding out that she’d been lying to him about being an anti terrorist agent, when in fact, she was an air traffic controller. Poor fellow.
If you wants fakes my 12,000 mile triangle relationship hunk of man, try the Australasian Phony websit, P.O.W Network, and if you can find Fat Mike’s 101st page good luck.
And leave me and my Ex alone!
Jas. (Hondo, mmm, call me)