The Fables of Deserter Joshua Key: Why Milblogs are Needed.
UPDATE: If you need a good laugh to wash this nonsense away, there is an AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME video tribute to Joshua. YOU MUST GO WATCH. It’s like dirty hippie meets A Mighy Wind. Only they met at special ed schol.
Ed Note: Dear Grove Press, please include this quote on your next edition of the book.
“Joshua Key and his book are more full of fecal matter than the honey wagon trucks sucking out the port-o-johns at Ft Polk. I’d rather have a suppository applied with a tomahawk missile than read this book again.”
I mentioned a week ago that I had purchase the book The Deserter’s Tale: The Story of an Ordinary Soldier who Walked Away from the War in Iraq, by Joshua Key as told to Lawrence Hill. I owe IVAW a big apology. They are not the phoniest of all phony veterans, this no-talent assclown traitor is.
First off, you should start by reading the excellent work of a milblogger from Korea at ROK Drop who absolute demolishes Key’s story. I am going to avoid rehashing everything that that blogger did, and stick to some other elements that stood out to me. Part I of this post will cover some absolute absurd crap in this book, and errors that no one in the military would ever make unless they were such a shitbag that they really didn’t even know what they were doing. For instance, would a real troop refer to a “gunny sergeant” in the army, or to a “M-16 Grenade Launcher” instead of a M203? Nah, I don’t think so. Some of the quotes are just hilarious. Like the dude allegedly trying to commit suicide by shooting himself in the leg with the grenade launcher. What dipshit doesn’t know that 40mm rounds have an arming distance? And, how about a hospital where needles and fetuses are scattered on the floor? And some Hollywood type pyrotechnics stuff that I believe he saw on Die Hard II.
Part II of this post will detail the lavish tongue bath that this piece of work received from the media, and such literary luminaries as Daily Kos. A future post will go more in depth on the book itself, but anyone with a modicum of military training or common sense would see how much fertilizer this dude is spreading. As I see it, the job of milbloggers is to set these stories right.
As we stabbed the dummies with our bayonets, one of our commanders stood on the podium and shouted into a microphone: “Kill! Kill! Kill the sand niggers!” [Ed Note: According to Key, 1/3 of his basic class at Ft Leonard Wood was African-American, and yet seemingly no one felt that this was inappropriate. Maybe because it never happened. It should be noted that Key is mighty prolific in his use of the SN phraseology.]
My sergeant let loose with his .50 cal Machine Gun. Blasting away with bullets about 6 inches long, he shot the car and brought it to a halt. I saw a trail of gas leaking from the car. The sergeant shifted his gun, aimed at the trail of gas, and shot again. The line of gas caught fire, and flew back toward the truck, and when it hit the gas tank, the truck exploded in a ball of fire.
I shuddered at the thought of needing treatment in such a filthy place. Needles were scattered all over the floors and by toilets, and I spotted blood and fetuses. I imagined that the tiny, half-formed bodies had come from miscrarriages, and I stopped to think about how hard the war had to be on the women of Iraq. Given that the hospital lacked the equipment to properly dispose of needles and fetuses, it gave me the shivers to imagine the conditions in which the living were treated. I wondered to what degree our occupation of the country had caused all these problems in the hospital, and admired Muhammad and the other doctors and nurses for trying to save the lives of diseased and injured children.
We knew one man who had already done it [committed suicide] and another who had spoken openly of suicide. Shortly before coming to al-Habbaniyah, a Specialist named Love loaded his M-16 Grenade Launcher [Ed Note: No such animal, vegetable or mineral exists, must be referring to an M203] while he was standing on guard duty at our compound. I was changing the oil on our armored personnel carrier at the time, only about 50 yards away when I heard the thump of the grenade and the soldier screaming. Sgt Fadinetz, a few other soldiers, and I ran over to Love. “What happened?” we asked him, but he would not say. We could see that Love had shot himself in the ankle and we called for help. He was taken away for medical care, and we never saw him again. It was a good thing the grenade had not exploded or he could have been killed.
For the rest of my time in Iraq I was not able to forget the scene of the decapitated bodies and the heads being kicked by American soldiers. Sometimes, in my dreams, disembodied heads plagued me with accusations. They told me what I was slowly realizing; that the American military had betrayed the values of my country. We had become a force for evil, and I could not escape the fact that I was part of the machine.
Regarding Timothy McVeigh:
It was an American – a former gunnery sergeant in the 1st Infantry division in the First Gulf War – who had blown up his own people. [Ed Note– The army does not have “gunnery sergeants” which is E7 in the Marine Corps, McVeigh was an E5. You’d have thought a graduate of Basic/AIT would fricken know the rank structure, no?]
________________________________________________
So, on to the Media reaction:
Ultimately, Key and his family made it to Canada, where they are awaiting word on whether they will be legally accepted for asylum. But the questions he raise, coupled with the Washington Post stories about treatment of veterans, will not go away. Why does the flesh-price of war always fall disproportionately on those with lower income? How much ingenuity and promise of these young men and women are being wasted on destruction? How much longer can we sweep the damaged under the rug so the American public doesn’t have to see the consequences of the actions of its leadership? And even for those not wounded, and not officially handed a PTSD diagnosis, how smooth a transition back into civil society can reasonably be expected from those who have been ordered to perpetrate atrocities – or bear silent witness to them? How many lives and souls will we squander as a nation before the madness ends? — Daily Kos [Ed Note: Kos was a cannon cocker in the Army, shouldn’t he be bright enough to know this story is bullshit?]
Keys personal crisis is also the crisis of his nation. – The Age, Australia
An exceptionally clear sighted and brave testimony. – Bokavisen, Norway
Stark and compelling…it caused me to re-assess my notions of duty…The Deserters Tale ought to be required reading for soldiers heading overseas. – The Globe and Mail
Destined to become part of the literature of the Iraq War…a substantial contribution to history. – the LA Times
Scenes of Apocalypse Now insanity [Ed Note: I know I was chanting “The Horror, The Horror” just reading this crap]…Key does the math, as should the reader: if this is what one soldier saw in seven months, imagine the sub total of the inhumanity being perpetrated in Iraq. – The Toronto Star.
Explain to me again why we pay these people to give us their opinions….
The must see Ballad of Joshua Key;
Category: Politics
Explain to me again why we pay these people to give us their opinions….
Think of these reviewers as being a part of the Politburo and Tass, because that’s what the MSM has become. If the book is anti-American, then it’s all a part of advancing the socialist agenda and it doesn’t matter whether the book is factually accurate.
This reminds me of the time when me and elements of the 82nd Airborne had the Coast Guard drop us off about 100 miles SW of Cabo San Lucas. Total black-ops, man. We were there to take out a huge complex of suspected Cuban revolutionaries disguised as potato farmers, but the CIA had pegged these dudes as hardcore from the get go. As we came in under cover of darkness, our squad leader, CPO Elonzo Ravasaur (we called him Sergeant Snake), took point with his Remington 20mm. He had scored High-Superior Marksman in his boat crew at West Point and had the challenge coin to prove it, so who was I to argue when he rolled out all gung-ho. We split half the team and circled the Cubans’ camp with my team moving around the back of the barn (which doubled as a brothel), while Snake and his guys took the flanking position near the chicken coup to my starboard about 50 meters (that’s what we use in the military to measure stuff). I cycled the bolt on my M-14 and made certain that the first of its hollow-point 9mm DU ammo was seated in the chamber as we got ready to cut loose on these unsuspecting terrorists. It was going to be a bloodbath. The first guy that exited the camp’s commo bunker (that’s how we describe places were commo happens in the military), walked close to the chicken coup to take a piss. Apparently he saw the gleam from the chrome plating on Snake’s bayonet and it startled him, but all I know is that all hell broke loose. The Cuban dropped his pants and fumbled for his revolver. He started randomly firing at Snake’s position, .357 shell casings falling all around the Cuban guy’s feet. Snake’s team wasted no time, and opened up with a hail of 20mm and 22mm fire from their assault weapons. The poor dude was a mash of buckshot and incendiary rounds by the time it was over. All of the shooting awoke the camp, and the remainder of the Cubans came running… Read more »
Well, one year, at band camp…
…did you attach flutes to your genitals in a fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan?
Claymore:
Just freakin’ great!
Semper_Fi: out
TSO: Brilliant coverage as usual.
Claymore: Pissed myself laughing.
The Deserter’s Tale – Milbloggers deconstruct Joshua Key’s lies…
When you have the LA Times proclaim…Destined to become part of the literature of the Iraq War…a substantial contribution to history….about an anti-military book by uber-liar Joshua Key, you need the boys at This Ain’t Hell (who are on fire)…
This slimeball has moved from mere desertion to treason.
Explain to me again why we pay these people to give us their opinions…
Um, we aren’t. That’s why they are failing one after the other…
When you recommend crap, you become crap yourself…
Wolf
I was wondering if you where following the new stories on André L. Shepherd. It seems that he has a hearing date to plead his case.
http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=60121
Also I am in Iraq right now and have some stories if your interested. Nothing too crazy or exciting but something to remember.
Jonn wrote: Thanks for your service, Sporkmaster.
I’ve done a couple of things on Sheppard Here and here, but I hadn’t seen this yet, thanks.
You’re welcome to email us anytime at the email address on the “Contact Us” page. We’re looking forward to it.
Claymore-
Loved that! There is something about the way a military operation goes that makes my heart pound for more against the idiots who scream,”allah akbhar!”
I saw a video on Michael Yon’s site or somewhere where these fuckers were blowing up our shit/men and screaming that in the background. The nicest part was the sudden silence and the knowing that a sniper hit the target.
John Kerry got away with calling US troops in Vietnam murders because no one could prove him wrong.
Today, one of these losers comes out with a accusation of war crimes (Key says he saw 14 civilians executed during the battle for Fallujah) and the milbloggers can jump on him and prove him wrong.
Technology is great.
Are we even sure this guy served? Tom Clancy writes stuff that is more factual.
Well back to cleaning MK 506 combination grenade launcher/.50 caliber sniper rifle.
Not to be confused with gay former Marine and Cindy Sheehan’s self appointed bodyguard and bugle boy Jeff Key whom they have even made a movie about.
“My sergeant let loose with his .50 cal Machine Gun. Blasting away with bullets about 6 inches long…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Great God – I WANT some of those 6 inch long fume-incendiary bullets!!!! The shell casing must be a foot long, too, overall it must be the size of an arty round – and I want whatever you use to launch them with!!!
And just think! his Sarge – “just call me Gunny!” – was firing that beast offhand!!! I KNEW there were secret weapons being tested out there!!!
OK – the question is – are there REALLY such an abundance of crap-for-brains libtards out there to buy a book like this and believe any of it??? have the government schools SO propagandized our society that now, young adults would believe this crap??? Really???????
TSO and lilyea or however its spelled, as I am on a blackberry and don’t feel like searching….
Damn you two, damn you two straight to hell. This blog is nothing but vile puke that does a job of sucking me in that I cannot resist. If you bastards knew how many hours I spent on this thing when I should be sleeping….
Thankfully you somewhat redeem yourselves, as TAH provides many links to forward to my liberal friends who have no idea how the world works..
-Anon
TSO Wrote: “Woody”! LOL. Almost didn’t get the reference, well done my friend.
TSO Said:The must see Ballad of Joshua Key
A book and a tribute song does prevent Joshua from being Just Another Douchebag. It is curious, though, that this guy isn’t already a cause célèbre? His book has been out since 2007.
It’ll be fascinating to see if he’ll be invited to testify in any official war crime hearings?
At that, will there be a move afoot soon to pull a Carter and issue a blanket pardon so he can come home?
ATTN CLAYMORE :
PS – Forgive me for failing to offer a separate salute to Claymore, and his nephew, Willie Pete who chose to remain anonymous – for that breathtakingly exciting ( and doubtless, TRUE) adventure tale.
You, sir, need to get an agent and sell that story to this same publisher. Of course, you need a final chapter wherein you get all sorrowful and weepy and have a vision of Che and John Lennon with halos, telling you that war is not the answer, so you head out to Canada to find peace by making lame-ass videos and working as a gay male prostitute in the government offices.
PPS – I am also admittedly a bit dull witted – but, in that video, is the guy doing parody, or is that SERIOUS? And if SERIOUS, then please, after we nuke Cuba and Iran, can we take out Canada too?
TSO Wrote: If you are dull witted, so is virtually everyone I showed it to today, because it is running about 50/50 on serious or parody. Since his youtube page also has a different accoustic number, and he has a bunch of peace related stuff on there, I think it is real.
WTF who is this ass wipe Keys? a poster child for post natal abortion? I was wrong about Oboma. It was this dipstick who had the best part of him run down his mamas leg!!! He should have been drowned at birth instead of being allowed to waste good air. LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC!!!
Claymore…. ROTFLMAO! Outstanding. And Jonn… the tribute song is like something off of the “Gong Show” LOL.
Um… This is kind of beside the point, but, you can’t set off fuel with a bullet. It requires an open flame to set it off in liquid form.
Claymore, too funny!!! As to Key being in Fallujah, I can’t find mention anywhere of his company or the ACR he would have been attached to being there during the battle itself.
Claymore
Read that story years ago in SOF magazine. It was told by one of the guys in the air insertion team and was entitled “SAC’ing Fidel’s Taters – The night USAF Embassy Guards HALOed from a BUF riding a stick of MK-82’s to blow the crap out of Raul’s personal port-a-potty while screaming ‘Lucy! I’m hoooommmmee’.”
TUMBLEWEED! OPSEC man OPSEC!
HERE’s The LA Times review of his book by Martin Rubin: Friday, March 02, 2007 A soldier refuses to fight in Iraq By Martin Rubin March 02, 2007 in print edition E-18 “THE Deserter’s Tale” by Joshua Key is destined to become part of the literature of the Iraq war. It is not literature with a capital L, nor is it full of arty metaphors or artistry or artfulness. No soldier reaches out of a trench to touch a butterfly only to be shot by a sniper, as in Erich Maria Remarque’s “All Quiet on the Western Front.” Key’s story, as told to writer Lawrence Hill, lacks the atmospheric writing of Norman Mailer’s “The Naked and the Dead” or Irwin Shaw’s “The Young Lions.” But from the book’s opening pages, Key’s clear voice rings out, explaining why he deserted the Army after seven months in Iraq, with anguish and a frankness that invests the book with quiet eloquence: “I never thought I would lose my country, and I never dreamed that it would lose me,” writes the native of Guthrie, Okla. “I was raised as a patriotic American, taught to respect my government and to believe in my president. Just a decade ago, I was playing high school football, living in a trailer with my mom and step dad, working at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and hoping to raise a family one day in the only town I knew Key describes himself as a rough and ready young man, who was comfortable with guns from an early age, got in fights and generally raised a ruckus. He tells of a hard time at home with an abusive stepfather, of marrying young and trying to make a living. Whether working in fast-food establishments or as a welder, he found it difficult to make ends meet and discovered the hard way (burns suffered on the job, kidney stones) what it was like not to have health insurance or to be able to see a dentist. Patriotic as he certainly was, economic hardship played a large role in his enlistment in the U.S. Army,… Read more »
raoul,IS IT JUST ME AND MY SORRY RED ASS OR WAS THAT A HOLLYWOOD HANDJOB?
When did this shithead go to BCT at Leonard Wood? I went thru in 2003, prior to Baghdad being secured (Uday and Qusay were killed during week 6). our Company Commander was nowhere near the bayonet range, and all they told us was the old “Kill, kill, kill!” and “What makes the grass grow Privates?” One question, has this guy been drinking from Adam Kokesh’s private piss stash?
I was Bravo Company 3/10 Inf. @ Leonard Wood from July 3rd 2003-September 5th 2003.
That guy in the vid reminds me of the Bee on the Hamas childrens propaganda TV.
Man you guys are too funny.
Thanks for your service, from the son of a 30 year csmg.(ret)
I come on these sites to remide myself that there are still people out there who think like me.
Thanks again.
Near the end of his tale, Key insists that he is “neither a coward or a traitor.”
No, he is a pasty combo of the two.
So he saw two or three fundamental human rights violations every other day? Interesting. He must have served with the worst unit in the US Army, because I saw none of that. And, as someone else mentioned on another milblog, we were given so much cultural awareness/sensitivity training prior to deployment, we really wondered who the hell we COULD shoot.
The hell with that; I could go all day detailing the facts of how we repeatedly put our own in harms way in order to minimize collateral damage, but what’s the use? The cowardly and dishonorable swine that joyfully slime our military, who do so from an abysmal level of ignorance that is the hallmark of nearly all of their political “thought,” simply don’t care about facts.
What sickens me most is this: Fully 99% of the soldiers I know would gladly tell the media how proud they were to serve, but their stories are not wanted. It is the 1% of BS spewing, crap-mouthed slugs like Keys that are designated as our “official spokesmen,” just as Cindy Sheehan was granted spokesperson status for the 99% of Gold-Star moms that love and support this country.
In my opinion, the news media and our left-wing Congress is a greater enemy to this nation than Osama bin Laden could ever be. Forgive me for saying that, but NEVER forgive THEM for making me believe it.
Outstanding coverage. It’s bad enough to listen to the “Winter Soldiers” lie and dishonor themselves and our country, but this act of cowardice followed by no accountability and lies for profit?… they shot them in the old days and now I know why!
Rakkasan, thanks for putting in words what I’ve felt for too long.
BTW wouldnt it be great to catch keys and his ilk down range at Stone Bay? Gunny Hathcock where are you?
I will say this…what a cunning hat.
TSO Wrote: Dude, we need to stop hanging out, I was thinking the same thing. But, Jayne Cobb wouldn’t make up such a bullshit story.
Besides, Jayne was the hero of Canton. He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor….
Not only do we have to put up with knob polishing, treasonous turds like Keys, but CBS news and katie couric say that we are all victims now! Makes me want to go mash my own eyeballs out! God help us all!
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damn Claymore, you actually went on a live fire mission with an M-14? when I was in the-NAM, man we couldn’t keep the p-o-s shootin. the least amount dirt would f*^% up the chrome barrel and it wouldn’t shoot no more. i muchly preferred the m1 springfield/abrams because if you left the ejection port open – you could hand load a single ak47 round into the bolt and you could use the enemies ammo. sh+@-hot!!!
peace brother
in country anthem by the Animals: “we gotta get outta this place, if it’s the last thing we do”
The book is really deplorable and it so outragous that the media can’t see that they are being duped…
Let’s all make sure we give this book the review it deserves on Amazon.com…. 😉
Right now it’s at 3.5 stars and falling fast with the reviews folks have added in the last day or so!
Mainer Says:
January 28th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Um… This is kind of beside the point, but, you can’t set off fuel with a bullet. It requires an open flame to set it off in liquid form. >>
Even then the flame will be igniting the vapour above the liquid, not the liquid itself.
PS. Mythbusters a while ago Busted the myth that a bullet will ignite a gasoline trail and detonate a fuel tank. It can’t be done.
“At a slow speed, the gasoline trail burned continuously. However, at 20 miles per hour, the trail became small and the flame burned out. Then, the truck was stopped, the flames were allowed to reach the tank, but there was no explosion. As the gas vaporized, the flames grew more intense, enough to catch the mounted camera on fire. The team then opened more ports in the gas tank to reach the “butter zone” of air flow for gasoline combustion, above 1.4% and below 7.6% vapor to air.
Result: There was very vigorous burning but no boom.
Myth: BUSTED”
http://tinyurl.com/an6vjb
I get so tired of this crap. The dude looks like a typical stoner just looking for a way to bum a beer and another toke from someone who actually HAS money. Just once in my life I’d like to tell Kerry what a sorry piece of crap he is. As a former Airdale, I resent the crap he spewed in front of Congress. He wiped his feet on the backs of every honourable serviceman and used them as doormats on his way to a Senate seat. The things is, the media could’ve taken him down with a simple query. He was an officer. If he had seen ANY of the activities he claimed, to have witnessed, he was obligated to stop it. If he couldn’t stop it, he was obligated to seek help to stop it. If that failed, he was obligated to record as much information as possible, witness statements, photographs, material evidence, whatever, and report it to higher authorities for action. Where is the evidence, Mr. Kerry? Where are the reports you turned in about war crimes and atrocities? Where are the photographs, the witness statements? Why, if you witnessed so much, did you wait for so long to talk about it? Mr. Kerry, you served on a Patrol Boat. There was a lot of independent duty there, and the crews were pretty tight and knew pretty much everyone in their commands. Why then are their no corroborating statements from those men? Could it be that you are accusing your own men of these alledged crimes and atrocities? You were in charge of these men. Did you stand by and watch it happen? No, Mr. Kerry. You are a lying sack of sh!t who has destroyed the good names and honourable reputations of better men than you can ever imagine. And Joshua Keys? Hows about naming the names of some of the men you served alongside so they can corroborate your story? One might have thought that whatever fact checkers worked for the published might have tried to contact some of those fellows to see if the… Read more »
I hope Mr Key is relying on the royalties from the book to fund his legal defense. Amazon has it available new and used starting at 66 cents.
http://tinyurl.com/czbmod
Joshua Keys is every bit the stone cold hero that any and all of the rest of IVAW and other military protestors. Not a one of them really meant it when they swore to lay down their life for their country. Whether or not he is a card carrying member; to me he is the personification of all IVAW types. When I see IVAW I see Joshua Keys, (or perhaps Jesse MacFake). Suck it up and serve or just STFU and get out of this country that you find so despicable, Cowards.
nuf sed
If they don’t like this country, then they aught to find a nice piece of land somewhere out of the way and start their own country (like the Amazon basin or the Sahara). I give them three weeks with that.
OK so I finally listened to the never ending ballad of Joshua Keys and I have to say I think my favorite part is where he said his old hero was Davy Crockett and now it’s Joshua Keys for his courage speaking out against the war; even though he didn’t “kill a bear when he was three.” I think this guy just believes anything as long as it’s in print.
PS- Someone needs to send a history book to Canada; my guess is that the guys at the Alamo were whole heartedly part of the “war machine.”
I sent this off to the LA Times book reviewer: Re: Your gushing review over the latest faux anti-war Iraq veteran, aka Joshua Key: When I read your comments about this numbnuts, my bullshit meter pegged. What part of all volunteer military in time of war don’t you (or Key) understand? In spite of all the inane accusations over kids being “suckered” into enlisting, there’s a disproportionate number of re-enlistments as opposed to the Shepards, Hicks’, Kokeshs’, MacBeths’, Capps’ and Keys, who suddenly have remorse over joining the military. The Winter Soldier II/IVAW miscreants are frauds and pathological liars who feed the maws of the fawning leftwing MSM. I’m proud to be one of those military bloggers who exposes the likes of Keys and the rest of the phonies and pseudo-tragic heroes who embellish their records, falsify documents, and concoct Beauchamp-style war stories. They disgrace themselves and the uniform with their reprehensible, asinine behavior. Most of the IVAW were problem children who were expeditiously discharged from the military. Their sudden anti-war, anti-military epiphanies seemed to occur in conjunction with their disciplinary problems. They even have a propensity to lie about that. People with even a modicum of integrity don’t feel the need to wear medals and decorations they haven’t earned, make false claims, and accuse others of ‘war crimes’ that were never committed. In other words, they’re frauds. These fine examples of hypocrisy enlisted after 9/11. No one forced the little jackasses to enlist. They did it willingly. Apparently, they’re not smart enough to figure out that the U.S. sends the military where it’s needed. You don’t get to pick and choose assignments or conflicts. The purpose of the Army is to fight and win the nation’s wars. I’ve always wondered why these morons volunteer for duty then piss about what they were trained to do. Thanks for giving these certifiable wackjobs a platform to spew their sob stories and pander to a shit-for-brains, nihilist audience. How about interviewing some authentic heroes for a change? Start with any one of the thousands of military personnel and veterans who served honorably… Read more »
GI Jane,
I think I love you… That was awesome!
Well put GI Jane, well put!