Tina Kersten; Weebles wobble and they lie about their service
ROS sends us link to the folks at Guardian of Valor who posted this story of Tina Kersten Lightfoot who tells the favorite story among POGs from Desert Storm about how they narrowly dodged a SCUD missile. Tina however takes the idiot story a step further and awards herself a Silver Star for her escapades as she tells the story to her local newspaper (.pdf);
Tina was just returning from the front lines of the “Desert Storm” assault on Kuwait when the Iraqi missile struck. She and her commanding officer, Captain Richard Walker, had just parked about 60 feet from the front door of the ill-fated building and exited the vehicle when they heard a whistling sound. The missile crashed into the roof and exploded, demolishing the building and knocking them both to the ground. To Tina’s horror, she saw that Captain Walker had been cut in two by flying shrapnel; he died in her arms.
Tina herself had been wounded, but she rushed into the ruined building three times to help wounded survivors escape before she lost consciousness and was Medevaced away from the carnage.
The folks at Guardian of Valor did the research and there was no Captain Richard Walker in the list of casualties for that singular, well-known incident. I noticed that she’s wearing an 82d Airborne Division combat patch, and I’m pretty certain that those Pennsylvania Reservists of the 14th Quartermaster Detachment who were killed that day weren’t wearing that patch on their shoulders that day. And, oh, by the way, she also claims she served in Grenada and Panama, of course. So she’s like the Forrest Gump of the end of the Cold War military.
I don’t know how many POGs from Desert Storm have told me the story that they were almost hit by a SCUD. You’d have thought the atmosphere over Saudi Arabia was thick with the things.
The Guardian of Valor folks claim that the author of the newspaper story about our little Weeble woman realized he had been been hoodwinked and retracted the fairy tale, but it would have been fairly easy to do it beforehand since there have been so few females who have been awarded a Silver Star and none of them were during Desert Storm.
I also have trouble picturing her in Air Assault school with that particular body type she’s sporting. And who taught her to wear a beret like a hairnet?
ADDED: Here are her records. She had been out of the Army for two years when Desert Storm kicked off;
Category: Phony soldiers
That table cloth of hers looks familiar but I just can’t quite place it. Give me a few minutes. It’ll come to me.
I haven’t come up with the answer yet but it’s right on the tip of my tongue. I did want to point out that we might have a father/daughter poser situation here. Remember the Bolivian mouse, the poser in the khakis about a year+ ago? Well, I’m saying this has to be his daughter.
FWIW, you can’t hear a scud coming. The warhead is traveling supersonic and it will arrive before it’s sound does.
You might SEE it coming, at night, especially if you have NVG, but mostly you’ll know when it arrives by that huge frikkin’ shock wave and the quick-following fragments.
Oh great this bimbo has to be Dallas (the embellisher) Wittingless twin sister and wife
Black beret and chocolate chips? Chairborne thinks she’s a real ranger?
She’s also got those distinguished shooter badges, rifle AND pistol, right in the front, but no trace of her name on the Distinguished Shooters List at the CMP website.
I case anyone is interested – the first link in Jonn’s article (the Guardians of Valor link) has her FOIA. No SS, no PH, no service in Grenada/Panama/Desert Storm/Iraq/Afghanistan. Served a bit over 2 years on active duty with the Army (2 Dec 1986 to 11 Jan 1989). Was a cook and was stationed in Germany for about 19 months after basic and AIT. Appears to have served in the IRR thereafter until final discharge from the USAR on 6 Dec 1994, as no additional active duty is shown on her FOIA. No personal decorations other than ASR/OSR and some marksmanship badges.
From the extra time added to her IRR committment (5 days), I’d guess she also had one or more short periods of AWOL while on active duty. That might also have something to do with why she ended up leaving active duty after 2 yrs 1 mo 9 days and only 18 mo in Germany on what should have been a 3 year overseas tour.
Tim beat me to her ignorance of Physics…or in her case, Phy-SUCKS.
But I can see how she’d do well jumping out of airplanes, all fluffy and pillowy soft she is. All you’d have to do to get her out the door is grease her hips and toss out a candy bar.
All that fluffy pillowness probably comes from testing her culinary creations in the mess hall-214 shows she trained for working as a food service specialist.
Hey, Tina? Go on a diet-maybe you’ll find a body worth some guy chasing, cause that blank, no one is home stare just isn’t appealing!!
I got it!
That tablecloth of hers is what drapes the coffins of our Fallen and our Veterans. It’s called the American Flag.
Are her meat tags hanging out, too????
Holy fuck…as for being “double stacked”, she definitely is, but not in the good way. Fucking ogre.
Here’s the VFW Post she is part of’s phone number, feel free to let them know what you think.
(512) 756-4942
Her VFW post is well aware of the issue but they will not discuss this with you. Having been in on some of this from early on its best to just let the district commander and the state guys deal with it. She told one of the guys whom I know in that area that her SS was given to her by her doctors and not the Army because of all the traumas she suffered. Her stories dont line up and she has since changed her name on her FB profile. Too bad that wont help any at all. Im really curious as to if she conned the VA and if she conned the state of Texas into helping her with her small business.
From the looks of her belly she ought to cut back a case or two of of beer a day.
A nutcase, Her story along with her supposedly prior VFW commander sticking up for her is blowing up all over GOV site. Something that isn’t pointed out much is how the actions of these frauds destroy the integrity and cohesion of VFW posts and other groups they belong too. In my opinion any Veteran’s organization should require a FOIA DD214 independently gotten to allow someone to join. Any membership application should have a section referring to the stolen valor act and address the wearing of unearned medals or verbal or written claims.
@14- I was thinking along the same lines. She has to be the only chick I’ve seen with a beer gut.
Testing. Am I being moderated?
I was proud to have done Mess Kit Repair duty in Bosnia and Iraq. I earned the BSA (Bent Spoon Award) with V for vinegar. I also earned the DPPA (Distinguished Paper Pusher Award) with a purple device for a staple wound.
But really, I have some funny stories about cooks in Iraq making up shit they did when they got home.
I’d swear, by the looks of that pic, that was a dude.
Or was, at one point….
I’m retired Army National Guard/Retired Reserve. Spent 24 years of the Cold War prepping for the Fulda Gap War Games that never came. I’m quite satisfied with my peace time awards for service and my commendations.
I pity those who need to embellish a fictional career. I have pity, but no sympathy. I earned my decorations, however minor they may be and I am proud of them and my service. I have no need to be a fake hero.
She looks like a hairy fuel bladder wrapped in desert camo!? Army guys, I thought “Air Assault” was an infantry thing. Please correct me if I’m wrong. Those ARE “Air Assault” wings on the fuel bladder’s cammo blouse, right?
I found her. She has a HUGE internet footprint:
http://www.google.com/search?q=chase+chavez&hl=en&prmd=imvnso&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=KeFoUOOTIImw0AHHzYGoDQ&sqi=2&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=648#hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=che+guevara&oq=Che+Guevara&gs_l=img.1.0.0l10.3442.3442.0.9550.1.1.0.0.0.0.80.80.1.1.0…0.0…1c.3-aW6jGmQWM&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&fp=57cf436ce2ac6a44&biw=1366&bih=648
@17. Perhaps I should be moderated. Turns out that comments I made earlier were being caught in the spam filtration system. And here I thought it was another complaint about something I said.
@23 Guess that happens when you try to post 47 items in 3 minutes or less?
It’s just one opinion, but I thought you were pretty funny today.
OWB (or anyone) Help me out on something. This Banana Republic refugee truly reminds me of some phony in Army khakis (circa 1973) about a year ago or longer. I remember him as the Bolivian Mouse–he looked like Tiny Tina here but I can’t for the life of me remember his name. I want to pull up his pic but I can’t find the story in the archives. Any help? If successful, I will make a contribution to my charity of choice in my name. How’s that for a reward?
Che Guevara was captured and executed in Bolivia. Tina Kersten is the now world famous look-a-like of Che Guevara. Therefore, could Tina be the Bolivian Mouse?
Just trying to help!
No, Tiny Tina does not look like Che. HE had a very distinctive feminine appearance, despite the facial hair. (Spam filter here I come!)
OK … she is sickening to look at and the story is pathetic!.
As a public service to all check this site out. It might make up for the horrid dreams that Ms. Heavyfeet could cause.
http://www.falfiles.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3432949
She said she was awarded a Silver Star by her doctor. all mine give me was two fingers up the bum. I want to trade her doctors!
I’m still wondering why the VFW isn’t coming clean about this. Are they really that embarassed about having been caught being dumbasses?
@30
I am in contact with the Texas State President of the VFW. He has opened an investigation into how she was allowed to join without the proper paperwork. He has also opened an investigation and has called in the National director to help him with getting her removed. He has told me that since she was admitted already, that they have to work under their by-laws for kicking her out. I assure you, he is working diligently on getting it resolved. He and the District Commander confronted her on the medals, and she admitted to lying. She is on the way out the door, just make take awhile.
GoV, thanks–but I’m still wondering how she was admitted in the first place. I mean, I’m no high-speed, low-drag, super-secret squirrel operator, but there are minimum standards to meet, and either you meet them or you don’t.
Had I not been on an SSBN or received an Expeditionary Medal I would not be eligible to join the VFW, and you know what? That wouldn’t have taken away from the nature and quality of my service one iota. There are lots of people who served honorably in war and peace, and all who served honorably should be proud of that.
I’ll never be able to understand why people have to inflate themselves beyond what they were.
Seems the previous commander allowed her in because she told him her records were destroyed in a Hurricane. And not only that he is still backing her! Spoke to the State Commander today, and she submitted paperwork to try and prove she was eligible. I cant say what yet as the investigation is ongoing. But it is not acceptable for membership and may signal VA fraud.
Her whole uniform is so confusing. I’m former Navy and even I can tell its jacked up. I follow GoV and hear a lot of complaints about the spurs. I get they have something to do with CAV (horses) but are they something you earn through qualifications like our warfare badges or do you just get them? Stuff just doesn’t add up. Her uniform gives me a headache each time I see it. And my membership to the VFW was a waste of money as far as I’m concerned. They kept calling me John and sent ladies auxiliary invites to my correct name. I was a damn dirty foul mouthed aircraft mech with the Navy and worked mostly with men-do I SOUND like I belong with a ladies auxiliary? I was proud to serve in the rear with the gear and prayed my friends came back safely. While I have no doubt this chic is a certifiable nutjob, I’d really like to give her a good hard kick in the twat from we female veterans who DIDN’T fake our service.
GoV: at the risk of stating the obvious – if that “documentation” shows possible evidence of VA fraud, please ensure that this matter is brought to the attention of the VA OIG.
http://www.va.gov/oig/
JoAnn…God I love it when you airedales talk dirty…
I guess she can say she was an MP because she was at Ft. McClellan for basic training? Guess that makes me an artilleryman since I was stationed at Ft. Sill and an apache pilot since I was stationed at Ft. Hood….
WTF!! What’s wrong with these folks who try to be something they are not. Funny thing is, those I know who have served never brag about thier combat bravado. Only the Wannabe Fakers do.
@37
I guess that makes me an officer, since I went to Quantico…and officer AND FBI Agent.
Regarding this winner, she didn’t dodge a SCUD. She couldn’t dodge a slow-moving Twinkie. Not that she’d try.
@35 We are in the process of that as we speak. We have several people in the area gathering “evidence”. Seems the VFW is already in possession of some of this also. According to my POC at the State level, the documents she turned over to them to prove eligibility would not be acceptable to prove combat service. It was basically she told someone she was in combat, and they wrote it down.
You would figure that someone who served would know better than to use the flag as a table cloth.
@ #25: No help here. Sorry.
Meanwhile, even though it is terribly frustrating, I am very glad that the VFW is taking it’s time, doing the proper investigation here. Yes, she should never have been allowed in, but it really should be a bit difficult to throw someone out for more than someone’s nose being out of joint over something silly.
That is coming from a VFW life member, a factoid that can be verified by a couple of folks who hang out here from time to time. So, yeah, I have a stake in this being done right.
GoV: glad to hear that. If she’s been obtaining VA benefits/preferences via fraud, she needs to find out firsthand that the Federal government takes a rather dim view of such.
— break —
2-17 Air Cav: is this the guy?
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=27398
I’m pretty sure the only thing she ever attacked was the potato bar at country buffet.
As for the VFW membership, my take on it is this: Organizations like the VFW and AL are desperate for members. There are lots of veterans around but not many joining up. I tried both AL and VFW and they were not for me – pretty much seemed like “old guy drinking clubs” to me and even at the age of 50 I don’t feel like I’m at the old-guy-drinking-beer stage of my life.
Given that the average age at most VFWs is probably pushing 70, I would imagine they’re not too interested in ‘vetting’ new members as that might cut into their membership numbers.
What’s unfortunate is the way that membership in the VFW or AL can “bootstrap” a poser’s military credentials. That is, a faker can BS his way into one of the veterans organizations and then use his/her membership in said organization as “proof” of qualifying service.
Gonna throw this out to every vet who has wandered into a post and had an unpleasant experience – try another post! They are very different.
The post which I attend most regularly is almost in another county and there are several closer to my home. But, I click with these guys. I really tried to make the one closest to the house my VFW “home,” but it was not to be, at least not at the moment.
So, for those who are not interested in the old man’s drinking club, keep looking. There are many posts out there that see their primary mission as service to vets and welcome any and all into the fold.
I am a member of my local post. Been there just over a year. When I applied for membership I was required to turn in a copy of my DD-214 which was looked over by the powers that be at my post. I didnt bring the document in with me the day I applied as I had been a previous member and had let my membership lapse as I was out of country for a bit and then just never got around to reapplying. Even though I had an old membership card I still had to resubmit my documents and wait for approval.
Whoever it was who let her in probably got hood winked and felt bad for her. Seems shes been lying about this sort of thing for long enough she built a believable cover story and well the powers that be at her post bought it. They shouldnt have, but they did. Thats done and over with and they will have likely learned from that mistake now. What needs to happen now that shes been exposed as a fake is her membership revoked. If the VFW helped her with her VA claims they probably should be looking into what she had them help her file for in her claims and make sure that if her lies carried over to her claims that it is reported to the VA. Seeing as she represents her business as being owned by a combat veteran someone should be making sure that she didnt use any programs that might have helped her establish that business based on her combat experiences.
Unfortunately shes also been “helping” combat vets at the VA PTSD clinic and other places (at least according to some of the stuff that she has posted around the internet she has). Hopefully the people that shes been “helping” dont get hurt in the shit storm that her lies are going to create.
For what it’s worth, we were calling them REMFs at the time; not POGs.
I could just imagine that Reserve unit putting on an 82nd patch. If their reaction to a National Guard unit being a landowener in Iraq was any indication, the collective indignant scream would be just now bouncing off of the moon and beginning the return journey to Earth.
I am sooooo tired of seeing NG & USAR personnel parading around with AD combat patches. Wear your god damn ugly ass made up patches for god’s sake! I know, I know, I know ppl will say “they probably earned it while they were on AD”. Yeah there are 4 or 5 out there that qualifies for that exemption, the rest should do the honorable thing and just realize that if you only play Army 2 days a month then that’s all the BBQ stories you get to tell. Wear that patch with pride!
What were you expecting? It’s Hallowe’en. She has to have some kind of costume to scare the kids.
Sure you could hear the SCUD coming in, it was the sound of the Patriots launching to intercept, if you were close enough to a Patriot Battery.