Paul Kilbourn – Phony SEAL and “The Devil of Afghanistan”

| March 2, 2020

The folks at MilitaryPhony sent us their work on Howard “Paul” Kilbourn.  Kilbourn lives in Windsor, Colorado and is 37 years old at the time of this writing – March 2020.  He seems to prefer to go by just “Paul” when he isn’t being called “The Reaper” or “The Devil of Afghanistan.”

On Kilbourn’s Facebook profile, it states that he was a “Former Warfare Operator NAVY SEAL at U.S. Navy” in addition to prominently displaying a U.S. Navy SEAL Trident.

As you drill down into the “About” section, you can see that he claims he was in the Navy from 1999-2000.

On a Wikiredia page that bears his name, Kilbourn is listed as a Navy SEAL sniper in addition to a nickname of “The Reaper” and “The Devil of Afghanistan.”  The latter may be a theme from the movie “American Sniper.”

Also on this Wiki page, it claims he was with SEAL Team 3 and awarded a Silver Star and two (2) Bronze Stars (valor). It also says he participated in the Battle of Ramadi and the Second Battle of Fallujah (Operation Al-Fajr).

Kilbourn’s name was checked against the UDT/SEAL archives and the UDT/SEAL database and it was discovered that there is NO record of “Howard Paul Kilbourn” or any other variation of his name ever completing BUD/S Training or assigned to any SEAL teams.

Also, there is no record of a Silver Star listed for Howard Paul Kilbourn at the following databases:

Kilbourn’s military records were ordered from the Department of the Navy through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

Just for the sake of completeness, the DoD Manpower Data Center was systematically searched from 1998, when Kilbourn would have been 16 years old, to the present day.  In every search conducted, there was no record found of active duty service.

DISCUSSION and SUMMARY

When trying to obtain Kilbourn’s official military records from the Department of the Navy (DoN), they could not locate any military records on him.

Since there are no military records to confer with, there would be no record of military training as a SEAL and therefore no deployments or military conflicts that he would be awarded the Silver Star and two Bronze Stars.

STOLEN VALOR

If the claims by Paul Kilbourn were used to leverage work, military or civilian promotions, or anything else of value, he may be in violation of Stolen Valor laws. State laws may also apply.

NOTE: Dave Hardin is away this week and asked me to post this case for him.

Category: Afghanistan, Bronze Star, Fake SEAL, Iraq, Navy, Navy Poser, Phony SEAL, Silver Star, sniper, Valor Vultures

Comments (107)

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  1. IS1 (SW) says:

    Sphincter reaper
    Blower and boffer of balls
    Devil of cock gobbling

  2. Mason says:

    Calls himself the “Devil of Afghanistan”, huh? Since he wasn’t in the US military, maybe he’s Taliban. Has the beard for it in the Facebook profile pic.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      He didn’t say if the Taliban put a price on his head due to all the damage he caused.

    • Ret_25X says:

      what a bacha boi…

      • ChipNASA says:

        That too is now being added to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

      • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

        The look on his face tells me that he “has experienced the joy of being the fat bottomed boy”… more than one in his pathetic lifetime.

    • Green Thumb says:

      More like the “Ass Slut” of Afghanistan.

      • Ret_25X says:

        “ass slut” and “bacha boi” are the same thing…although I guess one could be an ass slut without dressing like a girl and dancing first…

        plus, I was going for the whole “willing participant in deviant culture” identity for him.

      • Anonymous says:

        Liker of ManLove Thursday

    • Combat Historian says:

      Anytime some dude claims in public he is the “Devil/Killer/Hunter/Masher/Ripper/(fill in the blank)” of “Iraq/Afghanistan/Syria/Somalia/(fill in the blank)”, then it is guaranteed that he is a complete phony poser liar. Nobody talks that way about their overseas combat tour except for phonies, posers, and liars…

      • Ret_25X says:

        and…everyone knows that you don’t get cool callsigns or team names…it’s always something lame or embarrassing….

        Like Slurpee, or Stinky…or in this ass’ case, bacha boi…

        • SFC D says:

          Rule #1 of military nicknames or callsigns: You don’t get to pick your own nickname or callsign. It chooses you.

          • Ret_25X says:

            most soldiers don’t get the kind of names Hollywood makes up…most are based on unit mottos and many units have completely lame mottos…like the Gimlets, or the old 14th INF “Right of the Line”…what would those be? “Line 6”? sounds like you need a Lily Tomlin voice over!

            But I was lucky…Global 7 (Ancient)…

            • Green Thumb says:

              Cacti!

            • rgr1480 says:

              “Pyro” after all my artillery simulators, flares, smoke, and CS blew up my jeep … in full view of a battalion AAR at the NTC.

              I was a Green-team Observer-Controller, Scorpion 12C, back when the NTC was the last frontier army post in the west (early 1980s).

              The Green Team commander merely said, “Go to the motor pool and get another jeep.” No statement of charges, etc.

              • Hack Stone says:

                Was that the Ford Pinto M151?

                • rgr1480 says:

                  M151A as I recall … wasn’t aware it was a Ford.

                  Sometime after that we transitioned to Sheridans. The upside to Sheridans is that they are hard to turn over, hard to high-center, and you are pretty safe sleeping at night; dunno how many close calls I had in a jeep while controlling a night movement-to-contact on a dusty and moonless night in blackout drive!

            • JBUSMC says:

              Farmer here. Bring on the beer and fat chicks. Over.

      • Green Thumb says:

        Ass Plugger 6.

        This will work for this clown.

  3. Outcast says:

    How quick they run away, went searching for him on F/B and only found 2 listed, one older person and one that didn’t even look like him although he might have taken over his job at a taco stand.

  4. Slow Joe says:

    Is it common for people to use their middle name instead of their first name?

    • HOME says:

      We use my son’s middle name. he’s the IV though

    • Comm Center Rat says:

      My alias as a porn actor was my middle name as my first name along with the street I grew-up on as my last name. In that line of work its not uncommon for men to use their middle name.

      • Keepin' It Real says:

        My cousin put himself through medical school by being a porn actor.

        The only issue he has now is every time he gives someone a shot he pulls it out at the last minute and squirts it all over their face.

  5. 5th/77th FA says:

    It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Nothing like a real deal phony seal that’s also a sniper FIRST thing of a morning. I gave the lying POS Howard Paul Kilbourn a heads up on the Military Phony site on evening last. Bwaaahahaha, here it comes dipsh^t, your trip to Google Fame. “The Reaper” “Devil of Afghanistan” my Aunt Fanny. Bwaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    No time for half measures on this POS the liar, Valor Thief, NEVER SERVED IN THE MILITARY at all, Howard Paul Kilbourn. Make sure we use the name of Howard Paul Kilbourn in every comment to get Paul Kilbourn plenty of google fame. Let me be the FIRST to say how despicable the liar is.

    Cut to the chase, if anyone was ever due the entire Time on Target Fire Mission of the Combined Arms Army Hemisphere of Insults, Alphabet Assault, Toilet Bowl of Taunts, AND The Staff Summary Sheet, it would be the lying Valor Thief Howard Paul Kilbourn. I will be the FIRST to call for said deployment and do hereby, forthwith request a SECOND and an AYE. Chipster warm up your Aerial Artillery Platform, you are cleared hot. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Phuque you, you POS Howard Paul Kilbourn!

    ps…his fakebook account went “POOF” just a very few minutes after the notice from Patriots of the MP Site dropped him some love there. Bwaahahahaha

    • marinedad61 says:

      Poof. Poof.
      The Wikiredia page went blank, too.
      There goes the “I was hacked” defense.
      He can vamoose from Fakebook,
      but he can’t hide from Weld County or Larimer County,
      which covers Fort Collins and Greeley, Colorado.
      Well, unless he goes west, for the tall snowy Rockies, like a Donner.

    • ChipNASA says:

      Got it and standing by. I also agree this douche canoe needs the full load.
      As with other deployments of the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ , I’ll stand by for 1. The appropriate Roberts Rules here at TAH to vote on it and 2. A momentary review and consideration that this individual and their posting is generally not going to generate any undue influence or attract attention from local, regional or national media organizations, so as to not impede any further investigation into his behavior and distracting from linking to MP or TAH by a due deployment of said and glorious, The Hemisphere of Insults®™

      Holding pattern in 3…2…1…and awaiting final operational approval….

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        Ok now we are in need of a SECOND and an AYE for the Fire Mission. Dahell wrong wid y’all, my trigger finger as itchy as a bar girl after a visit from the 7th Fleet.

        Chipster doing his part, he’s standing by and adding to the HoI. Let’s get with the program, I ain’t got all day, Chips gets off work soon. Where’s Pappy, the Stranger? SFC D? Senior Chief? Somebody?

    • ChipNASA says:

      Happy Tuesday folks, Well now, isn’t this something. We have the proper votes and Roberts Rules at TAH have been met so, sorry for the delay from yesterday afternoon, and as they say, better late than never. I also see that the posts have not been many, SO, that being said, Howard Paul Kilbourn, are you ready?
      You need to pause, loosen up and breathe easy because you’re about to take the *WHOLE LOAD* and you should take it like a man, because you have so richly earned it, with your fraud, your lies, your silly bullshit. the internet and Google will not forget and you wanted attention and fame and recognition, well here you go, may man. You earned it, so now, OWN IT BITCH!!!!

      The Hemisphere of Insults®™
      (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
      FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
      TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
      THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
      DANGER CLOSE!!!!
      MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
      TAKE COVER!!!!!
      … Howard (The DICK not Duck) Paul (Oh we know about people named Psul around here) Kilbourn (Stillborn) …HEY DICKLESS WONDER, We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shit slurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex,
      Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, Pudwhack, pillock, Saltimbanco, zounderkite, Minger, Felonious Ass Pirate, get bent like a fucking pretzel, I mean, what in the roll tide, only has sex with family after Nascar, butt chugging box wine, mushy meth mouth, mountain dew snorting, corn dog anal injecting, only listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd when making cornbread, fuck, is going on, Fucking less worthwhile, hairier, dirtier and uglier than Hillary Clinton’s taint, if this guy even *had* a woman, or any balls, he’d keep them in her purse anyway, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butterIf you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case,

      • ChipNASA says:

        I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Sphincter reaper, Blower and boffer of balls, Devil of cock gobbling, Bacha bāzī “boy”, Dildohead. This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, 55 gallon drum of cock snot, dumpster fire, nsumbyeotchkizzmyazzwingwipineffoffanbeholdemyfieldofphuquesyouphuquingphuquer, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, his breath smells like he ate a dead man’s underwear, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine , Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, spaghetti straw-sized personal organ, real boy babies have bigger nuts, putting the squeeze on this nugatory nut nibbler is not worth the juice, there are ants that are smarter than this dorkwad from the bottom of Poontang Pond, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, is a lying sack of wet doughnut batter, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz,

        • ChipNASA says:

          inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, he claims to have PTSD and he really does have PTSD, PTSD” when it stands for “pretty talented suckign dicks, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, nasty enough to pass gas during a colonscopy, thinks a GI lavage is a mixed drink at a party, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, consuming connoisseur of the chocolate starfish, Cocksucking Catfish, anal & vaginal prolapse, giant anal Q-Tip, this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds, He went all vaginal. You *never* go all vaginal, fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby,Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P), likes to use the nicknames “The Reaper” or “The Devil of Afghanistan.”, that being said, the facts show that he is not a Devil NOR has he ever set foot in Afghanistan, in addition, he claims Former Warfare Operator NAVY SEAL at U.S. Navy, and that being said, NOT SPECOPS, NOT a SEAL, NOOT in the Navy, NOT a Sniper, furthermore, he has also claimed he was awarded a Silver Star and two (2) Bronze Stars (valor). It also says he participated in the Battle of Ramadi and the Second Battle of Fallujah (Operation Al-Fajr), to wit, he was never awarded *ANYTHING*, NOT the Silver Star and NOT a Bronze Star and he was nowhere near Ramadi or Fallujah, anywhere or at any time, ever, AND so, to wrap this up, there were searches through FOIA and of the DoD Manpower Data Center database and Howard “Paul” Kilbourn never served in the Navy or any other branch of the military for any time whatsoever, not one day, not one minute, not one second. It’s all a total and complete LIE, you are worse than the Devil’s Hemorrhoids, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, This guy has spunk. And by spunk, I mean he likes to ingest copious, and I mean immense, monumental and breathtaking, amounts of Baby Batter, Ball Barf, Trouser Gravy, Man Chowder, High Fructose Porn Syrup, Daddy Sauce, Choad Nectar, Throat Yogurt, Penis Colada, Nut Butter, and Weiner Sauce, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, you weak-kneed no-load pus-nuts pisspants needle-dicked cockroach-fucking slug-licking bucket of lying cockroach shit!, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, parasite on society, What in the bipolar fuck, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, pisses off more people than the clackers on an abacus, prepare your anus, karma is going in dry, You are a moron. A window pane licking, urinal cake eating, lying moron, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle,what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector,

          • ChipNASA says:

            this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt,
            And a new addition thanks to Sarge I hereby introduce you to the ALPHABET ASSAULT:
            Annoying asinine Ampharos asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag; erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher; no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage; queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty, wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick. Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire.
            If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
            We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
            OFFICIAL TAH BINGO CARD®™
            /FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value
            The Hemisphere of Insults®™
            https://imgur.com/nGqi3aR

            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
            Here endeth the lesson.

            Oh and one time Blake Morgan said: “ I swear I was hearing “O Beautiful for spacious skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “

            So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

              • 5th/77th FA says:

                AMEN!!!! Finally! Took a solid 12 hours to get the SECOND and the AYE! That, (in his best Charles Emerson Winchester voice) GENTLEMEN, is not acceptable. The FIRST Commentor to read the motion for the deployment of the HoI should immediately give the SECOND and the next should vote AYE. The race to approve a deployment of the Insults used to rival the race for the Friday TAH WOT FIRST! Are we getting to become slackards or complacent? Maybe this week’s Lordship is not Lording over his loyal miscreanted d’weeds as he should? Maybe he should do as a certain KoB does and offer refreshing beverages and/or snacky stuff when he wins?

                Either way Chipster, Thanks, ya damned old Wing Wiping Chair Force Puke. The itching has subsided…for now. You da Man!

                • ChipNASA says:

                  Thank you kind sir, 5th/77th FA and just to you know, I Immediately transitioned to Major Charles Emerson Winchester III’s voice as I am quite the M*A*S*H-o-phile And to wit, I leave you with this….
                  “Gentlemen..”

                  (NOTE: If you just skimmed over the HoI, you may want to read it in it’s *NEW* entirety, because I have added quite a few of your contributions there. thankyouverymuch, and as always…muchly appreciated)


                  • 5th/77th FA says:

                    Whenever we have a deployed Fire Mission of the HoI, I always read it in its entirety. Every.damn.word! Every. damn.time! AND watch the videos. It’s the least we can do to pay proper Honors to your work.

                    • ChipNASA says:

                      Our work, you dick waving, big gun swinging, battlefield honcho!!
                      Our work, as I am but the curator.

  6. Combat Historian says:

    Another “Call of Duty” Commando with a negative Gunga Dan Line…

  7. Roh-Dog says:

    Turd.

  8. Comm Center Rat says:

    I was immediately suspicious about the Devil’s claims while reading his Wikiredia page. He didn’t list the highly coveted though rarely awarded NDSM in the Awards section. That’s always a tip-off to those of us in the Brotherhood.

    Since this POSer lives in Colorado I’m surprised he didn’t pretend to be a Green Beret with the 10th SFG (A) at Fort Carson. Kilbourn strayed to far off shore claiming to be a battle hardened SEAL. The dude is only 37 – he might still be able to get in the fight if he really wants to be a heroic patriot instead of a keyboard warrior.

    • Claw says:

      “he might still be able to get in the fight”

      Yep, it’s my understanding that the maximum age limits (non-prior service) for the Army is 42 and the Air Force (and Space Force?) is 39.

      So, if he really wanted the highly coveted, but rarely awarded NDSM and admission to the greatest brotherhood on the planet, time’s a-wasting./smile

  9. MSGRetired says:

    Poof and Facebook has disappeared LOL to bad he cant disappear..

  10. Joseph R says:

    Be interesting to see if he has a Navy SEAL licence plate, which CO offers with proof of. DD214

  11. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    Wow, with deft skill and rapid speed phony SEAL Howard Paul Kilbourn is tyring to scrub his many lies and falsehoods from the internet…but some things are forever phony SEAL & all-around POS Howard Paul Kilbourn.

    I always wonder if its better that these guys never serve as opposed to a service member shitting all over themselves.

    Either way, Howard Paul Kilbourn is not a SEAL and NEVER served in the military.

  12. AW1Ed says:

    I suppose Howard Paul Kilbourn, phony SEAL, breaks the Green Beret streak we’ve been having. GNBA!

    • Hack Stone says:

      Hack Stone’s nickname is The Ballbuster Of Bethesda.

      • Hack Stone says:

        D’oh, should have posted that on the comment below. Hack Stone blames the cheap ass cell phone provided by the Vice President of the proud but humble woman owned business that sells software to the federal government.

        • AW1Ed says:

          You forgot the vast right wing conspiracy and how the Mods here are all Deplorables, and proud of it.

          ‘Cause we are.
          *grin*

  13. Jay says:

    Gotta give credit where credit is DUE; at least he gave himself a cool nickname, “The Devil of Afghanistan.” That’s cool. I’m sure he prestiged 9-10 x on Call of Duty Black Ops…that’s gotta count for something. Asshole.

    Why can’t they ever claim to be be Supply? Pick the low hanging fruit once in a while?

  14. Daisy Cutter says:

    Probably why the Taliban were so quick to sign the peace agreement.

    The U.S. threatened to send “The Devil” in again to do some mop up duty.

  15. Ex-PH2 says:

    Seal sniper, huh? Isn’t it a little past time for harvesting seals? Something like that? I thought those guys used fish as bait and heavy, thick clubs to do the job of killing seals. Or was that The Walrus? Am I thinking of elephant seals, perchance?

  16. A Monday morning phony Seal at the TAH starting gate. WOW, It’s been awhile.

    • Combat Historian says:

      For a while, we had mostly articles about genuine SEALs in real legal/UCMJ difficulties; so it’s actually kind of nice to get back to the phony seals and walruses…

  17. I forgot to add this in my above comment.- Looks like his fate is “Sealed” now that he is exposed.

  18. Retired Grunt says:

    I remember back when I was a SEAL on a water bottle training tornpeters for them there navies guys. I found a silver star…. oh wait, that was all one of my pirate dreams…

  19. OWB says:

    Well. Isn’t Paul Kilbourn special.

    Or not. Maybe he’s just another PoS garden variety liar with no imagination.

    What a jerk. Or jerk off.

  20. USAF RET says:

    Dick

  21. USAF RET says:

    How is Paul’s stomach like a battleship?

    wait for it

    they are both full of semen

  22. Skippy says:

    His top secret name is Anal Avenger of Kabul
    The Taliban miss him he left without warning
    So they changed his name to devil because
    He stood up so many waiting goat headers

    BHWHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!

  23. marinedad61 says:

    Oh no! Not another ELECTION!

    Just down the road from Paul Kilbourn,
    GEORGE TEAL is running for County Commissioner.
    He’s been spouting Desert Storm Veteran and other crap,
    but he went to GERMANY in 1991.
    He even flashed his DD-214 (NO Southwest Asia Medal) in public.

    He’s LES BROWN and RICK JOWERS rolled into one!

    Check this Google search link. You’ll find it.
    Someone in Colorado put up all his details.
    Local civilians are defending him on Facebook. Ugh.

    https://www.google.com/search?q=%22george+teal%22+veteran

    • marinedad61 says:

      In case you missed it on Page 1 of Google…..
      https://georgetealfakevet.com/

    • marinedad61 says:

      Jump to 28:30 on this radio show interview.
      Jump to 30:15 where it gets thick.
      Hmmmm…..

      https://omny.fm/shows/the-american-veteran-show/avs-december-8th-2019

    • Skyjumper says:

      marinedad62, this Wikipedia entry on Co. C/87th Infantry bears that out. No unit from that battalion ever served someplace other than Germany in that time frame.

      “Company C moved from the Denver Federal Center to 10455 East 25th Avenue, Aurora, CO 80011 effective 1 June 1985, and then to 1788 Helena Street, also in Aurora, effective 1 February 1990.

      The battalion was ordered into active military service on 17 January 1991. It arrived at Fort Carson for training on 19 January 1991 and moved to Germany on 5 February 1991. There it performed anti-terrorist security missions for V Corps. It returned to Fort Carson on 1 May 1991, and personnel were released for terminal leave on 15 May 1991 as the battalion reverted to
      reserve status.”

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/87th_Infantry_Regiment_(United_States)

      There must be another DD214 for his Lieutenant service, because the one posted shows the rank of SGT.

      “George Teal is a 1986 graduate of Greeley Central High School. After graduation, George enlisted in the U.S. Army as a Rifleman. He is a Veteran of Operation Desert Storm and payed his way through college on the G.I. Bill, having earned his bachelor’s degree in History from the University of Northern Colorado. After college, George returned to active duty and served as an officer with the Army’s 25th Infantry Division until 1997.

      In the 10 years he served our nation, George started as a private and rose to the rank of 1st lieutenant, having earned numerous accommodations and awards. An Army ROTC Distinguished Military Graduate and active duty, wartime Infantryman.

      http://www.georgefordougco.com/meet-george/

      https://georgetealfakevet.com/f/georges-official-military-record-indicates-he-was-1000-from-ods

      • marinedad61 says:

        Skyjumper…
        His stories in public vary.
        He talks about “those of us who came back”.
        What does that imply?
        Ugh.

        • Mason says:

          After pay day you go out on the town. Sometimes you lose a man or ten to some beautiful fraulines. It’s something you never forget. The looks on their faces. The screams. It haunts my dreams to this day. The calls for “Zwei bier, bitte”, which, because I don’t speak German I assume means “Medic” or “Mommy!”

      • Comm Center Rat says:

        I remember those “Desert times.” My 1995 DD-214 states I “served from (day/month/year) to (day/month/year) in support of Operation Desert Shield/Storm.”

        I was on active duty back then, but never played in the sandbox, only in the Med and Asia. I am not a ODS/S veteran because I wasn’t awarded a campaign or service medal. I think George is playing fast and loose with the truth to portray himself as a combat veteran. Looks like he’s made to be a politician – he’s a flabby liar.

  24. Mustang Major says:

    It continues to amaze me that clowns like Paul Kilbourn think that their BS will never catch up to them. That damn internet…

  25. Ex-PH2 says:

    Just one question: having dealt with a wanker named Paul in the distant past, and knowing what a wank he was, is this bloviating blockhead part of any species related to Psul the Uncool, the motivator behind the proud but humble, woman-owned company selling software somewhere in the WDC area?

    Just askin’: we’ve had Psulios to deal with before. One of them had some “thing” about spandex…. or something….

  26. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Paul Kilbourn = COCKSUCKER!

  27. Hack Stone says:

    Let Hack Stone be the first to say that Howard Paul Kilbourn Of Windsor Colorado is more than qualified for senior executive position at All Points Logistics. He can swap war stories with Commander Phil Monkress.

  28. The Dude from Elmore County says:

    Well….the way I understand it is that EVERY sailor that goes through boot comes out as a SEAL….and only THEN goes to their Advanced training for a Rate.
    Isn’t it the same for the Army? Aren’t ALL who graduate BOOT “Special Forces”?
    Marines being Force Recon?
    Air Force being Para Rescue?
    Coast Guard….well….Lawn Maintenance?
    And if one doesn’t even GO…wouldn’t that make them eligible for ANY service they feel sums up their unique qualifications?
    Kinda like a free spin on the “wheel of cocksucker”?
    Or has someone been less than honest?

    • BruteLarson407 says:

      Hey, I had to do a few things that could’ve left a mark in the USCG! Admittedly, never while someone was shooting at me! Boarding and searching a big fishing vessel out of site of land(far for us)in the night was a little tiny bit scary in the Cocaine Cowboys days. You can’t really go into a new compartment without exposing your head, or your femoral and popliteal arteries. Only 1-2 other guys with you. Slow assed boat(16 kts top-end). No Helo, and no armor on THAT if there had been. Shitty level 2(today’s standards)armor. Wouldn’t stop a hotter 9×19 and you wore it like a tee shirt. 5 shot pump riot(Mossberg 200 I think, not bad), and a 1911(NO complaints there). A guy on our MLB with an M-16 A2 that typically scared me more than ANYONE else bobing up and down in the swells. There were a few that I quietly asked the MK to bear hug if things got interesting.

      Never reaped anyone though, not even in lawn maintenance. I do actually know how to use a scythe! Does that count for something?

      Seriously, There was an Army Ranger Sniper who got that ‘Reaper’ handle put on him in Afghanistan. He’s easy to look up. I’m not mentioning his name commenting on this dork, plus he’s alive and well and I got no permission.

      • rgr1480 says:

        When I was in the USAF in Germany we (civil engineers) used scythes to cut some of the steep areas that a 15-foot towed mower couldn’t get.

        Never thought of calling myself a “Reaper” though; hmmmmmmmmmm

        • BruteLarson407 says:

          Yeah, I just used an old one(are there new ones?) to knock down big weeds and undergrowth that was too much for a mower or weed-whacker, and not enough area to get a brush hog. Can’t imagine having to harvest a field with one. You can angle into some tight places with one as opposed to those ‘golf club’ thingies.

          Something about that ‘Reaper’ handle pinged in my head. I have an audiobook going pretty much 24/7. I only really listen to about 50%. Just white noise.

          I thought I’d heard that before. Probably where this guy got it.

        • BruteLarson407 says:

          Non Sequitur Post, but I only learned last week you shouldn’t reply to yourself to fix something. Mossberg 500(not 200). Sorta rough and cheap cop gun. Wood furniture, no bayonet lug. Never encountered before, and have not since. Probably all trashed by Willie in the 90’s. I’m not going to bother with the typos/misspells. Terrible. Rough night and morning pre-post.

  29. OldManchu says:

    Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is obvious from his dumbass smirk.

  30. ArmyATC says:

    Paul Kilbourn – this guy, fucking cross eyed cock gobbling cum dumpster.

    • ChipNASA says:

      I’m combining this to OldManchu’s comment and now it’s going to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

      “This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, cum dumpster,”

      • ChipNASA says:

        OK, I googled some euphemisms for semen and came up with the following after a little thought….(and modification so as to not duplicate other insults already in the HoI)

        ” This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, 55 gallon drum of cock snot, dumpster fire…”

        I like it. It has spunk.

        (Annnnnnnnnndddd you see what I did there. 😀 😀 😀 )

        • Sarge says:

          is that like a dickless Dirk Diggler daredevil dipshit with Diarrhea?

          (gotta save that one for Alphabet Assault Part II)

          Should be noted that the AA (℗) and SSS (℗) should be properly copied/pasted with names to add to the google fame machine.

          A simple copy/paste is just words…

  31. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Rumor has it that Paul Kilbourn blows winos behind bus stops for spare change.

  32. Green Thumb says:

    This dude is the product of unprotected ass sex.