501 Czar

| February 22, 2020

TAH has featured a number of articles about military-related “charities”. Some seem legit; some are . . . well, let’s just say they seem questionable. In fact, at first glance some give the appearance of being little more than a way to generate some cash for those in charge.

This is for the leadership of those so-called “charities” out there that in reality are little more than a way for those in charge to get a paycheck. You folks know who you are.

Appropriate apologies to the late David Bowie, who wrote the original tune on which the following parody is based.

501 Czar

Finances all in shambles
World’s about to hit me hard
Maybe I should look at being a
501 Czar

Gotta find a way to change things
Things just ain’t good as they are
(and they can’t stay the same)
Maybe I could make some money as a
501 Czar

Hey, that’s nifty – under 50 the report’s a card!
I could get some adulation as a
501 Czar

Mail it in, yeah!

Lord knows I need the money
My finances really suck as they are
I’ll just start the IRS papers, and
The cash will roll in from near and from afar
Maybe I could make some money as a
501 Czar

Hey, that’s nifty – under 50 the report’s a card!
I could get some adulation as a
501 Czar

Rake it in, yeah!

Lord knows I need the money
My finances really suck as they are
I’ll just start the IRS papers, and
The cash will roll in from near and from afar

I could make a pile of dough as a
501 Czar
I could learn to love the life of a
501 Czar

501 Czar
501 Czar

Yeah, watch me now . . . .

FWIW: IMO people who found and/or run charities primarily to make money for themselves are reprehensible low-lifes. But they’re the ones who have to look at themselves in the mirror – not me.

Category: "Your Tax Dollars At Work", Pointless blather, Who knows

Comments (14)

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  1. Comm Center Rat says:

    “The only Charity I care about dances for money in a G-string.”
    ~ Cotton Hill (WW II veteran & Hank Hill’s daddy)

    The last time I donated to a charity supporting veterans was in 2012. Scandals involving executive leaders in the organization taking lavish vacations persuaded me to never again donate to any veteran services charity.

    As a retiree I throw nickels around like manhole covers. But when I donate, I prefer giving to libraries, youth music instruction, and animal welfare shelters\programs.

    The VA has so much funding it pays thousands of non-veterans disability compensation and pensions annually! /sarcasm

  2. 5th/77th FA says:

    Hondo, you are Aware that it is a little too Chilli for raising the subject of a certain Elko NV Ass. When those mercenary female cookie peddlers hit you up for $, you at least get a box of over priced snacks out of the deal, even tho it is only a single serving per box.

    Yeah, these scam artists piss me off too. That whole “raising awareness for (insert scam of choice here)…” “…for the children….for the Veterans….for the critters…” I will give a hand up to any individual or family that is in need. A hand out…not so much. I will make a contribution to marinedad61’s trip out west to confront a certain Ass.

    Full disclosure. I am on the board of directors of one 501c. and a long time founding member of another. One is dedicated to the preservation of historical structures dating from 1809, the other to the maintaining of Veteran’s Gravesites. Not one red cent goes into the pocket of any member of either organization. Any funds donated are used to help defray the costs incurred in the carrying out of the mission.

    • OldSoldier54 says:

      One would think that how those two 501c’s are run would always be the way it is, instead of the exception to how it is.

      More’s the pity.

  3. 26Limabeans says:

    “maintaining of Veteran’s Gravesites”

    Now that right there is pretty plain and simple
    for anyone to understand when it comes to 501c.
    All one has to do to see results is visit the
    gravesites. And I’ll bet the families of those
    buried there would be the first to spot any
    discrepentcies.

    Helping homeless veterans find jobs as
    census takers though is wide open to all kinds
    of abuse. (the other thread)

  4. Comm Center Rat says:

    Ever notice how most of the single moms who dance for money are also in graduate school? Those babes are true multi-taskers!!

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    I do have a charity but the donations are really quite modest: Anyone who wants to donate a really, really good corned beef brisket, about 5 pounds for the brisket, is welcome to donate it to my cause.

  6. AW1Ed says:

    single moms
    …also Navy-Marine Relief Society and TAH.

    • Comm Center Rat says:

      Remember, some of those single moms swinging from poles are also veterans. They fought for our freedom to watch bare naked ladies. So make it rain for those patriotic entertainers.

  7. Hack Stone says:

    Hack Stone frequently gets robocalls asking to make a small donation to help support the families Maryland State Troopers killed in the line of duty. Since you are interacting with a robocaller, it is programmed to answer common questions, but if you persist, they eventually transfer you to their “manager”. The manager starts with the spiel, but interrupt them and ask “So how much goes to helping the families of State Troopers killed in the line of duty, and how much goes to overhead, such as fundraising?” They usually reply “That’s a good question. You can go to our website at http://www.bernathfoundation.com and see the answer.” So Hack replies with “I don’t have access to my computer right now. Could you answer my question?”. Here is the kicker, they will reply “Not less than 10% goes to the families.” So then Hack asks “Do you ever give more than 10% to the family?” Then the dance begins, dodging, hemming, and hawing, but trying their damnedest not to admit that they siphon 90%. Shit, even the Mafia doesn’t have the balls to take 90%.

    If you are Facebook friends with Hack, he posted one of his recorded phone calls with a charity a few weeks back.

  8. cc senor says:

    AER quit hitting me up for a donation a few years ago. Now I’m satisfied with supporting the Salvation Army. I used to be amused by their street corner band on The Block in Baltimore (shades of Guys And Dolls), but now I take them more seriously. They have a lot less overhead than the Red Cross and maybe even the Catholic Charities. So, God Bless ’em.

  9. AW1Ed says:

    Just had a chance to play tune with your lyrics on the side, Hondo. Nailed it, thanks.