Thomas Gagne – Phony SEAL, Fake Combat Action Ribbon, Fake Purple Heart – Two each

| June 11, 2019

The folks at Military Phony send us their work on Thomas Eugene Gagne who claims to have been a US Navy SEAL.  Thom, as he likes to be called, lives in Pittsburgh PA and is 57 years old as of May 2019.

Tommy had a Facebook page and Google+ account that were adorned with Navy SEAL implications.  Some SEALs got onto him and he removed both profiles.

Oddly enough, Gagne doesn’t mention anything about being a SEAL on his LinkedIn profile.

But in some photographs of Gagne visiting a cemetery, he displays a chestful of medals and a Navy SEAL Trident.

People he knew commented when the photo was posted.  The photo displays a SEAL Trident, two Bronze Star Medals, two Purple Hearts and two Combat Action Ribbons (i.e. a CAR with a STAR).

On a Facebook page where they were talking about the bell at BUD/S training, the bell that a BUD/S trainee rings to designate they would like to drop out of the training, Thom states that he never rang it…  meaning he never dropped out or perhaps that he never went in the first place.

The BUD/S-SEAL database was referenced and Gagne’s name could not be found.  His official records were ordered through a FOIA request.

 

Department of Defense Manpower Data Center / SCRA

 

National Personnel Records Center (NPRC)

NOTE: The assignments during the period of 1988 – 1996 was not included. We are not sure, but he may have been commissioned and that is why his tour ended early (i.e. JUL1988 vs. NOV90).

In any case, Gagne was finally discharged as a Lieutenant (O-3) in 1996.

NO SEAL Training, NO SEAL Team assignments, NO Combat Action Ribbons listed, NO Bronze Star Medals listed, NO Purple Heart medals listed, NO Navy & Marine Corps Medals listed, NO Navy Comm listed.

Here is what was listed…

Other than the rank of LT, the records seem to not cover his stint as an officer.  However, how can one obtain two CARs from 1988-1996?

It is odd that he has the parachute insignia because he seemed to be in the medical field the entire time, even as an officer.  What billet would require him to get parachute qualified?

He did not qualify as a SEAL from 1988-1996, so it makes some of the other claims suspect as well.

If Thomas Eugene Gagne has two Purple Hearts they are not in his official records.  He may want to get that straightened out or some may feel it is a case of Stolen Valor.  Also, he may want to fix the two Combat Action Ribbons as well as this also may have some feel it a case of Stolen Valor.

Maybe Tommy has a reasonable explanation for everything.  Someone very close to him sums it up by saying Thom was in BUD/S Class 117 and there is a Navy-wide SNAFU with records.

Maybe when the Navy does their systemic housecleaning, people will suddenly remember Tommy as being on their SEAL Team, because right now they can’t.

What we do know for a fact is that Thomas Gagne was never a Navy SEAL,  never attended BUD/s and never served in any SEAL Team.  He did serve when most people wouldn’t and should have been proud enough of what he actually did do.

All I can say for sure is that many of those awards he is wearing are not in the official records we were provided.  It seems he is playing that usual game of “Partly Fact and Partly Fiction”…I am putting my bets on mostly fiction.

That’s the disgrace in what people like Thomas Gagne are pulling, they had enough legit service to be proud of and had no need to embellish with fake medals and sporting around with a Navy Trident he never earned.  As if all that is not bad enough he packs his plump pudgy ass into a uniform that appears to exceed usual pressure testing levels.

Maybe it’s just me, but I find it particularly repugnant when someone that should know better plays dress up with a uniform full of awards he never earned while standing over the graves of those who gave all.

 

Tags: ,

Category: Devil Doc, Fake SEAL, Navy Poser, Phony SEAL, Stolen Valor

Comments (79)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. USAF RET says:

    first

  2. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal and ribbon according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded the BSM according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne wears a golf shirt like some creeper in a windowless van prowling highway rest areas in search of a date.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne had a Military Career to take pride in until he shit all over himself, his name and reputation by LYING about his service.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded a Combat Action Ribbon according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like someone you’d see reading something like “Soldier of Fortune” in a bookstore with a scowl on his face thinking it makes him look like a badass.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne never “Rang the Bell” because he NEVER even attended USN BUD/S to begin with according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he has done many a “trick” behind the dumpster at a truck stop.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Sea Service Deployment Ribbon.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he NEVER came across a jelly doughnut he didn’t like.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less badass than a rookie shopping mall Security Guard.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less intimidating than a PO’ed Grade School Librarian.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne at least once showed up at a Military Cemetary in his fakery.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne has been outed and NOW Thomas Eugene Gagne will soon be wallowing in The Power of Google®™ because Thomas Eugene Gagne will now discover that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

    How Copy, please relay,
    ((((OVER))))

    • Eden says:

      API, I copy:

      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal and ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded the BSM according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne wears a golf shirt like some creeper in a windowless van prowling highway rest areas in search of a date.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne had a Military Career to take pride in until he shit all over himself, his name and reputation by LYING about his service.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded a Combat Action Ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like someone you’d see reading something like “Soldier of Fortune” in a bookstore with a scowl on his face thinking it makes him look like a badass.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne never “Rang the Bell” because he NEVER even attended USN BUD/S to begin with according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he has done many a “trick” behind the dumpster at a truck stop.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Sea Service Deployment Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he NEVER came across a jelly doughnut he didn’t like.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less badass than a rookie shopping mall Security Guard.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less intimidating than a PO’ed Grade School Librarian.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne at least once showed up at a Military Cemetary in his fakery.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne has been outed and NOW Thomas Eugene Gagne will soon be wallowing in The Power of Google®™ because Thomas Eugene Gagne will now discover that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

      • Thunderstixx says:

        Thomas Gagne was never a US Army Certified Ski Instructor !!!
        Fucker…..

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        GOOD Copy Eden, I read you 5X5:

        Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal and ribbon according to records found.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded the BSM according to records found.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne wears a golf shirt like some creeper in a windowless van prowling highway rest areas in search of a date.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne had a Military Career to take pride in until he shit all over himself, his name and reputation by LYING about his service.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded a Combat Action Ribbon according to records found.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like someone you’d see reading something like “Soldier of Fortune” in a bookstore with a scowl on his face thinking it makes him look like a badass.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne never “Rang the Bell” because he NEVER even attended USN BUD/S to begin with according to records found.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he has done many a “trick” behind the dumpster at a truck stop.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Sea Service Deployment Ribbon.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he NEVER came across a jelly doughnut he didn’t like.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less badass than a rookie shopping mall Security Guard.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less intimidating than a PO’ed Grade School Librarian.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne at least once showed up at a Military Cemetary in his fakery.
        Thomas Eugene Gagne has been outed and NOW Thomas Eugene Gagne will soon be wallowing in The Power of Google®™ because Thomas Eugene Gagne will now discover that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

        But you forgot to say

        ((((OVER))))

    • xyzzy says:

      API, I copy:

      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal and ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded the BSM according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne wears a golf shirt like some creeper in a windowless van prowling highway rest areas in search of a date.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne had a Military Career to take pride in until he shit all over himself, his name and reputation by LYING about his service.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded a Combat Action Ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like someone you’d see reading something like “Soldier of Fortune” in a bookstore with a scowl on his face thinking it makes him look like a badass.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne never “Rang the Bell” because he NEVER even attended USN BUD/S to begin with according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he has done many a “trick” behind the dumpster at a truck stop.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Sea Service Deployment Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he NEVER came across a jelly doughnut he didn’t like.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less badass than a rookie shopping mall Security Guard.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less intimidating than a PO’ed Grade School Librarian.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne at least once showed up at a Military Cemetary in his fakery.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne has been outed and NOW Thomas Eugene Gagne will soon be wallowing in The Power of Google®™ because Thomas Eugene Gagne will now discover that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

  3. 5th/77th FA says:

    What, not a sniping, door gunning, P3 piloting, special ops heliocopter driving, commando reconing, steely eyed, force bereted diver? I’m gonna say it had to be the pts of d that caused the lying, embellishing POS former medical REMF Thomas Eugene Gagne suffered at the Not a Nacho Taco Grande to volunteer to lead Meal Team 6 on multiple assaults at the Golden Corral Buffet Bar. The bloating is strong with this one.

    Using the basis of the last paragraph in Dave’s write up “…particularly repugnant…” let us vote to use up more valuable keyboard ribbon ink and ask the Chipster to deploy the Hemisphere of Insults on Thomas Eugene Gagne FIRST thing this morning. Can I get a SECOND and an AYE?

    BTW, his name should be spelled Gagme cause that’s what happened here. These bastards make me sick.

    • The Stranger says:

      SEGUNDO!

      • ChipNASA says:

        And a 1-ah, and a 2 ah, do we have an “AYE”, and a 3-ah??

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          Aye, aye, sir!!!

          Fire one! Fire two! Fire three for effect!

          Our fish are running hot, straight and normal!

          • ChipNASA says:

            *whistle*….HORN!!!!
            *Klaxon* *Klaxon* *Klaxon* *Klaxon* *Klaxon* *Klaxon* *Klaxon* *Klaxon*

            “THIS IS NOT A DRILL, THIS IS NOT A DRILL,
            “General Quarters, General Quarters. All hands man your battle stations. The route of travel is forward and up to starboard, down and aft to port. Set material condition ‘Zebra’ throughout the ship.

            Stolen Valor Pig identified…”

            “Thomas Eugene Gagne,
            BOHICA, BOHICA, BOHICA”

            The Hemisphere of Insults®™
            (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
            FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
            TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
            THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
            DANGER CLOSE!!!!
            MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
            TAKE COVER!!!!!
            Thomas (Turdmass) Eugene (Gene Gene the FAT Jelly Bean) Gagne (Gag Me) …HEY DICKLESS WONDER, We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, NOT a Navy SEAL, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butter, If you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee,

            • ChipNASA says:

              GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine , Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley,

              • ChipNASA says:

                bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby,Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P.) NOT a Navy SEAL, but probably got a double meal deal, from the looks of him, WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart, WAS NEVER awarded the Bronze Star Medal, was NEVER awarded the Combat Action Ribbon, not awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Medal, nor was he authorized the Navy & Marine Corps Commendation Medal, and finally, it looks suspicious that he’s also wearing the Multinational Force and Observers Medal awarded only to those that have served with the MFO in the Sinai, and it’s particularly egregious because the 248 soldiers from the 101st Airborne Division who had earned that medal died in the Gander Newfoundland crash December 12, 1985 returning from their tour of duty. It is also very possible that he’s wearing a bunch of other crap as well that he never earned or is authorized to wear, as his documentation looks like he’s authorized 8 awards and decorations,
                did have about 17 years of honorable service BUT YOU JUST SHIT ALL OVER THAT PAL!!, and it’s curious that he left his service with 3 years remaining until retirement, hmmmmm TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle,what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.
                If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
                We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
                OFFICIAL TAH BINGO CARD®™
                /FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value
                The Hemisphere of Insults®™
                https://imgur.com/nGqi3aR

                FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
                Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
                Here endeth the lesson.

                Oh and one time Blake Morgan said: “ I swear I was hearing “O Beautiful for spacious skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “

                So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

  4. Daisy Cutter says:

    Thomas “Gagne with a Spoon” was NOT a Navy SEAL.

  5. Comm Center Rat says:

    A mustang officer who completed over 17 years of undistinguished service but apparently did not reach 20 years to qualify for retirement? His Stolen Valor violations, medallic fuckery, and run-of-the-mill embellishments piss me off and the fact he was a mustang pisses this mustang off even more.

    • Hondo says:

      Yeah, I noticed that too. I’d love to know the backstory on his being discharged at 17.5+ years – just short of tenure.

      Don’t think his discharge was because he was a 2x nonselect for LCDR, though. If he went to OCS and was commissioned in 1988, he’d have had at best about 8 years of commissioned service when he was discharged (and probably less than 8 years, dependinding on the timing and length of his OCS attendance). I think first consideration for LCDR was typically at either 8 or 9 years commissioned service during the time between Desert Storm and the start of the GWOT.

      • J.R. Johnson says:

        Hondo, I agree. Navy and Army consideration windows were about the same at that time: 2yrs to O-2, +2yrs for O-3 (PZ), +6yrs for O-4 (PZ), +6yrs for O-5 (PZ), +4yrs for O-6(PZ).
        However, that was the time when they were drawing down the force. If he did not have stellar ratings they would have passed him over: O-2 (1990), O-3 (1992 or 1993) depending on promotion number, !996 he would not have been eligible for Promotion to O-4 yet, but he would be for RIF.

        • Martinjmpr says:

          I don’t know how it works in the Navy but I’ve seen Army mustangs in similar situations who were allowed to finish out their 20 in the enlisted ranks – usually at the rank of E-5 or E-6 – and then retire at 20 at the highest rank successfully held, which was usually Captain or Major.

          Does the Navy allow that?

          The reason I knew this is because I worked with E-5 and E-6 NCOs who were previous officers. One was an aviator – I did a double-take when I saw the wings on his chest. At first I had assumed they were enlisted aircrew wings but nope – pilot wings. On a buck sergeant. Crazy!

          • Martinjmpr says:

            Actually, that’s not even the craziest thing I saw. I met one guy who had been in all three of the rank structures the Army had:

            He started off enlisted, then went to OCS and got a commission, made it up to Captain (O-3.)

            Got RIF’d in the early 1980’s but stayed on as an NCO. Went into the engineering/topographic field and was accepted into the Warrant officer program.

            So he had been a junior enlisted guy, then an officer, then an NCO and when I met him he was a CW2 probably no more than a couple of years away from retirement.

            • ChipNASA says:

              When I got to Andrewes, my first roommate when I went to Dover for a UTA weekend was a SSgt about 50 something. I was like 25.
              First time at Christmas when we had to don our Blues for the UTA weekend I looked over at Ray and was all like *HOLY SHIT, he was wearing Korean service medals, Vietnam and then current stuff. He had like 20 or 21 awards and decorations.
              Ray was in a few more years until he transferred to the Port at Wright Patt and I supposed he retired at 60.
              He went in at 18 and went to Korea in the Army, he got off Active Duty and went Army reserve, He got off Army Reserve duty and then went to the Marine Reserves. After that in the 1970s he transferred to Active Duty Air Force and then in the mid 1980s went into the Air Force reserves and I met him after he’s been at Andrews 4 or 5 years, Fall of 1988.

              I’ve seen VIP Generals at Andrews with less fruit salad than Ray had.

              I’d assume he went in about half way through Korea and probably stayed until the mid 1990s.

              He used to tell me the funny story about having to sleep in foxholes and that the funny thing was that the Officers got BAH/BAQ and that they had to pay to live in a foxhole or tent when they were available.

              • ChipNASA says:

                Funny, yep, I googled his name and found his obit from 2013. He was 79 then which should put his birth date about 1934 just like my folks and the timeline fits, said he was an NCO in Korea and retired from the Air National Guard in Ohio.

              • Dennis - not chevy says:

                Puts me in mind of the last WWII vet I served with. When the war ended he joined the ANG, but, every time something happened (e.g. Berlin Air Lift, Korean War, Bay of Pigs, etc) he was back on active duty. The last time it happened he grew tired of it and managed to stay on active duty. It was about 1984 when he got a letter from CBPO (that’s MPF for those scoring at home) saying since he was over 60 he could no longer be on active duty. He protested (and eventually lost) that as a CMSgt he was eligible for 30 years active duty and he hadn’t reached that nor its equivalent. His uniform did look like he was standing in front of the clothing sales store when it blew up and caught the debris above his left pocket.

            • MustangCPT says:

              I’m actually considering the Warrant route if I don’t feel like being a staff guy. The fun ends after command!

            • Hondo says:

              See my reply to NHSparky below. Short version: US Code authorizes Army and USAF prior service officers that right; the same right appears to be absent in the part of Title 10 governing the Navy and USMC.

              It also raises another question: why didn’t he go into the USNR (or another service’s reserves) and finish the 3 years he’d need to qualify for reserve retirement? With 17 1/2+ years of active duty, even if he just did the bare minimum in the IRR regarding correspondence courses to get 3 qualifying years he’d have ended up with retirement pay close to 45% of his base pay.

              Seems kinda strange to me. Unless, of course, the circumstances or nature of his discharge precluded that option.

          • Comm Center Rat says:

            In the 1990s, I’m pretty sure you had to have at least 10 years of commissioned service to retire in the highest officer pay grade held. I think currently only 8 years of commissioned service is required to draw officer retired pay with 20 YOS. But as you mention, I’m surprised he didn’t go back to his highest enlisted rank to qualify for retirement as an NCO. A very unusual case since he would have reached “sanctuary” at 18 years of active duty to be carried to 20 for retirement qualification.

          • NHSparky says:

            They didn’t in the 90’s.

            Couple questions: What was the source of his commission? He’s too junior for LDO. ECP? Or was he a Medical/Supply Corps officer, if not line?

            Second, SIX SSDR’s? Most I see he could qualify for was MAYBE two, which would make it a bronze star on his SSDR, not silver.

            • Hondo says:

              FWIW: per the US Code, Regular Army and Regular Air Force prior service enlisted officers have the right to revert to enlisted status if RIFed, provided the separation was on “good” terms (i.e., the separation was not for cause, dereliction of duty, in the interest of national security, etc . . . ). However, the Navy and USMC portion of Title 10 doesn’t seem to include that same statutory right for USN/USMC officers who were commissioned from the Regular Navy or USMC.

              Go figure.

              • Mike says:

                He was commissioned after DOPMA became law, which required all officers to be integrated into Regular status upon promotion to O-4. Most OCS grads receive a Reserve commission and a call to active duty for some period (it was 3 years when I graduated OCS in 1980). After that you applied for “obligated volunteer” status. The draw-down crunch limited the available Regular commission slots and there were plenty of RIFs, buy-outs and early retirements.

            • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

              Looks like he was an MSC (Inservice Procurement) type – went back to school to get an Masters degree in Healthcare Management and applied for a commission that way.

              Knew a guy that tried that three separate times in the mid 80’s – always wondered why he was never picked up. We talked about it, he said that there was nothing “questionable” about his background… but his sister was the legal council for the Communist Party in Puerto Rico.

          • Hondo says:

            Once worked with a Marine officer whose bio was pretty interesting. He’d been enlisted (made it up to E6, I think). Went Warrant – and then after a couple of years ended up applying for (and getting) OCS. He eventually retired as an O6 (that was his grade when I worked with him) with somewhere over 33 years of total service.

          • Mustang Major says:

            Plenty of aviation NCO’s went to flight school during the Vietnam era. Some later took direct commissions to 1LT during the war and later made captain The RIFs hit in the early ‘70 and some of these captains and WOs stayed on active duty as NCOs. In the ‘80s we had an S2 NCO (SFC) in our infantry battalion go back to being a WO2, after being a captain and WO aviator earlier in his career.

  6. Instinct says:

    Those steely eyes and that double chin screams SEAL! Now all he needs is the best and the service dog.

    Good job shitting all over your honorable service.

  7. 26Limabeans says:

    Nice bangs Moe.

    • Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

      This made me laugh out loud in my office….thank you it was a great mid-morning moment!!

      • ChipNASA says:

        26 Limabeans,
        Fucker, as you scroll down the thread and this comment pops up.
        I to was caught off guard with the simplicity and brilliance of this and snorted and then had to cover my face with my arm, lest I get snot all over and my eyes are watering.
        Gotdamnissomuch…..

  8. Ex-PH2 says:

    Looks like SQUEAL, not SEAL, to me.

  9. Great start for the Phony Seals this week even if it started Today.

  10. Club Manager, USA ret. says:

    Did I overlook it or did this phony not receive the prestigious NDSM? Maybe that traumatized him to put the other awards/badges on his uniform to compensate.

    • Keepin' It Real says:

      By gosh, you are right.

      His cutting score was probably too low in a highly competitive field of candidates.

    • Hondo says:

      Certainly isn’t listed on the FOIA Reply from NPRC. But if he served on active duty for the period indicated, he’d certainly rate one for the Gulf War period.

      One possibility is that whoever prepared the FOIA only included awards/decorations from his enlisted period and forgot to include those awarded while he was commissioned. That would explain the missing NDSM – he apparently was commissioned sometime in the 2nd half of 1988.

      • PTBH says:

        You are correct. Although it is confirmed that he was NOT a SEAL during his entire service time, we asked about the officer records.

        NPRC is validating that as we speak.

        Bottom line – he has embellished, it is just a question of how much.

        I am skeptical that he got 2 BSMs, 2 CARs and 2 PHs as well as N&MC, 3 NAVY COMMs in that 8 year period of being commissioned. Then again, he could have been a non-SEAL super sailor.

      • PTBH says:

        Just got a brand new response from NPRC on the question of missing assignments from 1988-1996, presumably when he served as a commissioned officer. The archive tech stated:

        “There isn’t a record of assignments for that last period, however, I do have his final DD 214 dated July 22, 1988 to Aug 9, 1996. and I can assure you there are no other Awards, Decorations or Medals besides those I have already provided you.”

        Thank you, Hondo, for putting your eyes on this and helping to address any possible holes in this case.

        • Hondo says:

          Interesting.

          Anyone who servied on active duty or in the Selected Reserve during the Gulf War period rates the NDSM. Since his last DD214 doesn’t list it, either something odd is going on here or his personnel folks didn’t do their job properly.

          In fact, the fact that the DD214 covering his officer service apparently contains zero personal awards relating to his service as an officer – including the NDSM, which should be there – is a bit of a red flag. Anyone know if resignation in lieu of court-martial or a dismissal can result in loss of awards and decorations in the Navy?

          • PTBH says:

            Strong possibility it was the personnel clerk that typed up his DD-214, but usually, the member reviews that so can’t see him overlooking three Navy Comms, two Purple Hearts, two CARs, etc. — if he, theoretically, earned them.

            COMMISSION

            Also, a thought on his commission. He claims on LinkedIn he was Health Care Administrator but also claimed he was a medical practitioner. Those are two distinct career fields – one is in the front office working logistics and admin and the other is a patient health care provider.

            The Navy had programs for PA if I recall, not sure about Health Care Administration though.

            Because he terminated his enlistment early in July, I wonder if he got into some Navy program such as a PA (Physician’s Assistant) program or some other commissioning track on the Navy’s dime. Terminating in July would allow him to start a school program in the fall. So, there is a possibility that he was in some reserve status while going to school full time. His time as an officer was 8 years, so four in school and four as payback. Makes sense in terms of getting out as an O-3 — meaning 4 years of schooling and 4 regular active duty.

            Also makes sense because the alternate path is as enlisted he would have had to go to college in his off time to get a Bachelor’s degree. Not unheard of but challenging with being full-time active duty.

            Stated another way – makes me wonder if he got accepted into some commissioning program where he went to school while on active duty and was largely off the books for 2-4 years.

            The other possibility is he was a screwup as an officer and was denied advancement in rank.

            RECORD HOLDER

            Also, I might add, he got out in 1996. This means that technically the Department of the Navy would hold his records. They pointed us to the NPRC as they verified that DoN did not have his records but NPRC did – not just a guess, it was confirmed before they directed us to NPRC.

            We asked in regard to service dates and why the DoN did not have his records. They said that although there was a transition from NPRC to DoN for Navy records from 1992-1996, the process was not smooth for every record. So, during that period of time some records may have made it over and some not. Although the thought did occur to us that his Officer records got separated from his enlisted, the NPRC still had his final rank of LT as well as his final DD-214.

            BOTTOM LINE

            This is all pontification and may be useful, but had no place in the presentation of just the facts.

            In spite of all of this, we are confident Gagne was not a Navy SEAL and did not earn many of the medals he was wearing, so the case moved forward to publishing.

            The decision was based on a principle that we call “Where there’s fire, there’s probably smoke.” (reversal of the common saying was intentional)

            • Hondo says:

              I wasn’t implying that the rest of this guy’s claims were true. Rather, I think most if not all of those “high speed/low drag” claims are BS.

              Being “show cause” boarded out would explain the departure at 17.5+ total years of service (just short of the 18 year sanctuary). But the NPRC summary doesn’t show any USNR time – only active Navy time. Ditto for the SCRA letter, which indicates his active duty service ending on 9 August 1996 began on 25 Jan 1979. So I think all of his Navy time was on full time active duty.

              My guess would be full-time school attendance while on active duty (if such a Navy program existed in the late 1980s, and I think they did) for 2-to-4 years to get/finish a degree, followed by commissioning. That would leave 4-6 years officer service time, which should be enough for him to have made LT before being discharged.

              Another theoretical possibility is that he was commissioned sans degree, and later boarded out when he failed to complete one – perhaps at or sometime not long before “first look” for LCDR. Dunno if that would have been possible under the Navy’s personnel policies at the time, but the timing could work for that scenario also.

              I still love to know why he didn’t go into the USNR (or another Reserve Component) after his discharge, though. As I noted in a comment elsewhere: with 17.5+ years of active duty, even at minimum-level IRR participation via correspondence courses the 3 “good years” he’d have needed to qualify for USNR retirement would have given him a pension of nearly 45% of the base pay at the highest grade at which he’d served satisfactorily. That grade would have been E6 minimum, and potentially O3 if he got a USNR commission and acquired enough additional years of commissioned service to meet the minimum commissioned service requirement to retire as an reserve officer.

              IMO, 45% of E6 base pay – and maybe quite a bit more – beats the hell out of nothing. I’m guessing something disqualified him from going into the RC. I’d love to know if that’s the case, and if so what that might have been.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      The NDSM would put the rack out of square so he let it go.

      • rgr769 says:

        Actually, he is wearing an NDSM in his ribbon rack. It is located on the left side of row 4 of his 9 rows of ribbons he mostly didn’t earn. So, he is claiming the vaunted NDSM. I suspect some personnel clerk fracked-up and didn’t put it in his records.

  11. Animal says:

    Is it possible to get Navy/Marine Corps jump wings without going to Benning? I was there for IMLC and stuck around permissive TAD to get mine as an 0302. I’ve never heard of it, but that doesn’t mean much.

    • mr.sharkman says:

      Yes, it is possible.

      A buddy of mine (fellow Teamguy) went SDVs for his first unit and went to NAS Brunswick instead of Benning.

  12. Mick says:

    In the photo posted at the top of this page, I see that our hero here is also sporting an Air Medal with Combat ‘V’ on his ribbon rack.

    I’d love to hear about the spectacular, breath-taking acts of Naval Aviation* derring-do that he thinks that he performed in order to have been presented with that award for valor in aerial flight.

    * Has he made any phony claims that he was also a Naval Aviator/Naval Flight Officer/Naval Aircrewman?

  13. SFC D says:

    API, D’s Cantina copies 5x;

    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal and ribbon according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded the BSM according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne wears a golf shirt like some creeper in a windowless van prowling highway rest areas in search of a date.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne had a Military Career to take pride in until he shit all over himself, his name and reputation by LYING about his service.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded a Combat Action Ribbon according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like someone you’d see reading something like “Soldier of Fortune” in a bookstore with a scowl on his face thinking it makes him look like a badass.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne never “Rang the Bell” because he NEVER even attended USN BUD/S to begin with according to records found.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he has done many a “trick” behind the dumpster at a truck stop.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Sea Service Deployment Ribbon.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he NEVER came across a jelly doughnut he didn’t like.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less badass than a rookie shopping mall Security Guard.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less intimidating than a PO’ed Grade School Librarian.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne at least once showed up at a Military Cemetary in his fakery.
    Thomas Eugene Gagne has been outed and NOW Thomas Eugene Gagne will soon be wallowing in The Power of Google®™ because Thomas Eugene Gagne will now discover that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Roger SFC D, I copy:

      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal and ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded the BSM according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne wears a golf shirt like some creeper in a windowless van prowling highway rest areas in search of a date.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne had a Military Career to take pride in until he shit all over himself, his name and reputation by LYING about his service.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded a Combat Action Ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like someone you’d see reading something like “Soldier of Fortune” in a bookstore with a scowl on his face thinking it makes him look like a badass.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne never “Rang the Bell” because he NEVER even attended USN BUD/S to begin with according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he has done many a “trick” behind the dumpster at a truck stop.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Sea Service Deployment Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he NEVER came across a jelly doughnut he didn’t like.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less badass than a rookie shopping mall Security Guard.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less intimidating than a PO’ed Grade School Librarian.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne at least once showed up at a Military Cemetary in his fakery.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne has been outed and NOW Thomas Eugene Gagne will soon be wallowing in The Power of Google®™ because Thomas Eugene Gagne will now discover that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

      ((((OVER))))

    • xyzzy says:

      SFC D, I copy:

      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal and ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded the BSM according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne wears a golf shirt like some creeper in a windowless van prowling highway rest areas in search of a date.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne had a Military Career to take pride in until he shit all over himself, his name and reputation by LYING about his service.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS NEVER awarded a Combat Action Ribbon according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like someone you’d see reading something like “Soldier of Fortune” in a bookstore with a scowl on his face thinking it makes him look like a badass.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne never “Rang the Bell” because he NEVER even attended USN BUD/S to begin with according to records found.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he has done many a “trick” behind the dumpster at a truck stop.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Sea Service Deployment Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks like he NEVER came across a jelly doughnut he didn’t like.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less badass than a rookie shopping mall Security Guard.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne WAS awarded the Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne looks less intimidating than a PO’ed Grade School Librarian.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne at least once showed up at a Military Cemetary in his fakery.
      Thomas Eugene Gagne has been outed and NOW Thomas Eugene Gagne will soon be wallowing in The Power of Google®™ because Thomas Eugene Gagne will now discover that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

  14. Charles says:

    Note the Multinational Force and Observers (MFO)orange and white ribbon at the lower center of his rack (“Pumpkin Ribbon”). That’s for service with the MFO in the Sinai, and that duty is typically a six month rotation at a minimum. Strange, performance of that duty is missing from his record of assignments as well.
    As a former Screaming Eagle, it is a considerable insult to wear it unearned, as 248 soldiers from the 101st Airborne Division who had earned that medal died in the Gander Newfoundland crash December 12, 1985 returning from their tour of duty.

    • Claw says:

      My best running buddy from our last tour in Germany (we were in 1/15 IN together), SSG Steve Andreoff was on that Gander flight.

      I toast his memory every 12 Dec.

    • HT '83-'87 says:

      Normally, I have zero f*cks to give about these kind of losers. I lost a high school classmate, Spec 4 John Kuehn, on that flight, so my level of FTG level hit a 10. This rancid POS is trying to stand of the shoulders of heroes. Men, real men, that lost their lives in a tragic accident trying to bring peace to the world really, really disgusts me. RIP Arrow 1285 and The 101st.

      https://www.uswarmemorials.org/html/people_details.php?PeopleID=4362

  15. Jay says:

    . <———

    I post this as my FOLLOWING DOT. I am sure there will be MORE to this story. I HOPE there will be a sock puppet or two that pops up in defense. Either way, this has the makings of being more that your average "SO THERE I WAS" ass-hat Stolen Valor dork.

  16. Jay says:

    Wait…this guy was a Navy Doc? Something tells me MANY a Marines felt TWO hands on their shoulders when they got their prostate exams…..

  17. AW1Ed says:

    Way back when, there were a couple HMs where I worked who were jump qualified- they were Water Survival and Flight Physio instructors, so the Jump Wings gave them some street cred with us flying types. So there is a precedent.

  18. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Bet you that THOMAS GAGNE is currently employed at Brucies Bath House (Entrance in the Rear) as a Junior Assistant Towel Fluffer.

    Fucking Ass Hamster…

  19. Roh-Dog says:

    Tommy “Looks like the Michelin Man in Whites” Gagne would fall out of a dick tree, gagging at every branch.

    • The Stranger says:

      What’s the expression? “This dude could dive into a pool full of 🐱 and come out with a 🐓 in his mouth”

  20. Blake Morgan says:

    One look at him and you know he’s legit.

    The skin on his face has spent half of its adult life in camo.

    The edges of his mouth have stretch marks from clenching a fixed-blade SOG.

    Many an adversary most likely got a neck-tie of piano wire.

    Oh yeah, no denying on this one.

  21. Mustang Major says:

    I got a root canal today and have an angry molar talking to me at the moment. I hope Thomas “Moe” Gagne feels even more pain reading over the comments on this page by the esteemed TAH commentators.

  22. streetsweeper says:

    Has anybody ever wondered why, no one ever runs into a phony Navy SEAL at a swimming pool? Axin’ fo’ a frien’.

  23. Skippy says:

    Jack-Ass
    Enjoy your fame