Hey, Snowflake!!! Got a Minute?

| April 3, 2019

Army recruiting poster

This is literally priceless. If you’re a British snowflake, your Queen wants YOU in the Army!! Now!!!

And this campaign is working, too, per this article.  https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2019/03/28/what-the-us-army-can-learn-from-the-brits-snowflake-recruiting-campaign/

This was part of what has made it successful:  Teamed with a private marketing firm, a plan coalesced around the idea of belonging.

“Actually, soldiers who serve for that sense of belonging, being together, that common purpose is really, really important,” Colthup said. – Article.  And it seems to be working, turning the enlistees into productive people.

Now the US Army is organizing its recruiting toward doing the same thing: bring American snowflakes together into a cohesive whole, take advantage of their need to be part of something larger than themselves, and point them toward productive lives.

Don’t snicker too much. It may give the clueless, wandering snowflakes in this country an idea regarding the useful direction their lives should take.

Discipline? Yes, in spades. But, what the heck – if some kid from Wanker HS in Wanker, CO, can be talked out of smoking dope and into doing something useful with his life, in addition to the lure of that old GI Bill thingie, don’t think it’s such a bad idea. After all, they aren’t all like our resident goof.

Some of them really do have working brain cells. They just don’t know what to do with them. Give them a little direction and it just might work.

Category: "Your Tax Dollars At Work", Army, Big Army, Military issues

Comments (27)

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  1. Fyrfighter says:

    “Wanker HS in Wanker, CO”.. I think that’s just east of PRoB.. (Peoples Republic of Boulder)

  2. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    So now they’ve gone from “BE ALL YOU CAN BE” to “Gee whiz you guys, wanna like, join us?”

  3. AW1Ed says:

    Port of call, Bayonne, New Jersey. It’s not just a job…

  4. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Welcome to Fort Drum, for those of you new to upstate New York and wondering how cold it gets here, if hell freezes over they can just rename it Fort Drum…enjoy your winter training.

  5. SFC D says:

    All we need now is a recruiting office on 4th Avenue in Tucson. Maybe one in Bisbee, too.

  6. 26Limabeans says:

    “turning the enlistees into productive people”

    KP, police call, shit burning, rock painting, floor buffing…

  7. OlafTheTanker says:

    “Wonderful Fr Dix, NJ, there’s a beach nearby, we promise. Oh, and you may run into the cast of Jersey Shore!”

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      My brother was there for a year. He said he fell asleep under a tank. Never said whether or not he got to drive the tank.

      • rgr769 says:

        Not a good idea. I caught one of my snuffies in a sleeping bag right behind one of the tracks of one of my platoon’s APC’s one night during a field exercise. I made him move as a year earlier we had a man crushed to death when the track ran over him, as the driver forgot he was there when he backed the vehicle.

        • timactual says:

          Particularly at night. That’s why ‘ground guides’ and horns were invented, but that just lowers the probability of accidents, it doesn’t eliminate them. One guy in my platoon missed getting his head crushed by a foot one night during a field exercise. Another had his leg broken when an APC pinned him against a wall.

          Working with tracked vehicles is like working with cattle; they are both much bigger than you and both are (hopefully) much dumber. If you don’t maintain situational awareness put yourself in a vulnerable position you are going to get hurt.

  8. PARANAH says:

    Does Paris Island really have a Video Gaming Arcade?
    Because that’s the only way they’re going to get 90% of these Snowflakes, including my own Grandsons.

    • RCAF-CHAIRBORNE says:

      No way snowflakes would game in an open arcade anyway…..way too much frightening IRL human interaction!
      Usually they construct a Nerd-Laire in their barrack room where they game till 0400 every night which often results in piss poor job performance.

  9. timactual says:

    If it works, do it. Of course an emphasis on leisure and family time may be a bit misleading. Like the commercial said, “We do more before nine AM than most people do all day”. Of course they didn’t say that the day started at five AM and will continue to six or seven PM, occasionally longer.

  10. Slow Joe says:

    That thing about wanting to belong to something greater than themselves is the most scary trait in this new generation.

    This is fertile ground for recruitment by all kinds of radical anti American groups, from socialists to jihadis.

    What happened to good old american individualism?

    • SFC D says:

      Tell me, Joe. What do paint chips taste like?

      Wanting to belong to something greater than themselves IS what brings people into the Army. That “Army of One” shit was a lie.

  11. Slow Joe says:

    Hey, that POS Mikey Weinstein is in the news again. Something about a jihad, or hijab, or something.

  12. 5jc says:

    Strange. One of the reasons I joined the Army 32 years ago because I wanted to be a part of something greater than myself. I guess that makes me a snowflake.

    I got to do and see some interesting things along the way like be in Germany when the wall fell, spend four tours of the sunny Middle East fighting foreign invaders and terrorists. Also got to do some cool stuff like being a human land dart. I never burned shit but I buffed and mopped the stupidest of floors.

    I always felt as though I were doing something useful and sometimes on very rare occasions even important. Odd to see a group of veterans make a mockery of that.

    But if I recall correctly the guys standing out in the rain in the smoking area to get in a puff or two were always the ones who would bitch and complain about every single thing that happened in the unit and at the same time tried to do as little actual work as possible. They would also try to make a mockery of everything we did.

  13. 5th/77th FA says:

    Going by what the recruiter told my step son (a big time then gamer) gamers made good gunners for Brads, tanks, SPs and other things that go boom. Asked him if he’d like to blow things up for real.

    My boy served as a Brad gunner in 3/15 Mech 24 ID in the Storm. He blowed hell out of an assload of Iraqi sh^t.