Darryl Touchstone; phony National Guard major
WKRG tells the story of Darryl Touchstone in Escambia County, Florida who worked for a cabinet-maker, Cabinets Direct. He told his employer that he was a major in the National Guard and that he’d have to take off from work to fulfill his military obligations. Being patriotic, his boss continued to pay him while he reported for duty.
Finally, Touchstone bit off more than he could chew – he told his employer that the Guard was increasing his responsibilities and that he didn’t have time to work for Cabinets Direct;
That’s when his supervisor found out that the alleged deception went much further. According to court documents, Cabinets Direct discovered several incomplete sales contracts. Customers were complaining. Court documents indicate that Touchstone was running a side-gig, selling Cabinets Direct to customers, but then installing his own cheaper cabinets.
That’s when the issue of stolen valor finally came to light. Cabinets Direct contacted the unit Touchstone said he was serving in the guard to complain about his behavior. That’s when they learned he wasn’t a major, and he wasn’t even in the military. Those court documents indicate he was thrown out of the guard for going AWOL, absent without leave, a year earlier. He was never a major, but a low-level enlisted specialist.
He had bilked his employer out of $12,000. Touchstone was arrested for larceny and fraud last Thursday. It looks like he’s still on probation for an insurance fraud conviction.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
Cocksucker
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
E4 Mafia finally got tired of his shenanigans and withdrew their protection. If he had only called the Specialist of the Army “Godfather”…
You know it’s bad when the E4 mafia throws you out.
Actually ran into this guy or his twin a little while back when we were updating our kitchen and baths. Other than seeing him on the floor, I had no contact with him. This guy must have had a great line, b/c there is no way I would confuse him with being a major. We went with Home Depot for the cabinets, which turned out to be a ‘major’ mistake. Had to contact corporate office to get them to finish the job. Their workmanship was very good, but they had to be prodded into finishing their work.
All this stuff and insurance fraud, too?
Is there anything that Touchstone can’t do?
(Ooo! I’m a poet, and I know it!)
I do wish, sometimes, that they’d throw more than just the book at these guys.
(Ooo! I’m a poet, and I know it!) But your feet show it, they’re longfellers.
substitute “and” for the word “but”.
AWOL from the Guard? Must of been a rough weekend.
In the reserves we had a dude go through basic, tech school, and spent a whole morning at a UTA before disappearing forever. Meeting me just might have driven him over the edge and forced him out.
I met a dude one time that was AWOL from the NG.
Took a sec to figure it out.
We scared the living shit out of him.
No clue what happened to him. I hope the unit waited 30 days and dropped him from rolls to deserter status. That’s how it is done AD. NG, I am unsure.
AWOL = Loser.
When I was in the guard, you have to miss multiple drills, and then the unit would send you a registered letter telling you to show up or you would be discharged.
Then we cut open your locker, do an inventory, and charge you for any gear missing. That FLIPL would be reported to the IRS by DOD, and you would see the money taken from any refund you might get.
I discharged quite a few folks from my unit during Desert Storm. Most everyone had deployed to port bases and I was one of the only section supervisors left as a SSgt.
12 points of drill missed and you were eligable for the “letter” That’s basically 3 drill weekends or 6 days of drill.
Guess I am going to have to share with the prick who wrote the article that “low-level enlisted specialist(s) run the Army. I suspect most of us were in that category early in our career.
I finished my career as a low level 0311.
I was thinking the same thing, Club Manager. E4 isn’t “low level.” It’s clearly mid-level. 🙂
He sucketh the cock and then he spitteth out yon feathers.
Behold ! The benevolent Purple breasted Cock Gargler. See how he preens himself in the presence of unwitting employers! Watch as he plummets into a fiery heap into the oblivion of Google fame!
I realize that’s not my usual response to shitbird behavior, just thought I would change things up for once.
Touchstone, huh?
This clown looks like he might have touched the stones of some young boys.
Whacko looking motherfucker.
Funny you say that! He worked as a guard for about a month in the Florida Juvenile Detention system.
You must have Majored in larceny and Majored in being a phony Major. If he was wearing a black derby hat in that pic, I would have said that he looked like Abdul the Puss Sucker. Anyone out there ever hear the old Abdul the Puss sucker joke??
I’m sure he’ll soon be the “Property” of Bubba & Thor until he gets shared with the rest of his cell block after they pop his cherry!
Actually hes in a nice work release program I’m pensacola
He finds the one employer that doesn’t ask for copies of orders. What’re the odds?
Queer bait.
E4/ O4 it is a common mistake. It is only one letter. Too bad the NG won’t prosecute him. Maybe he will do some time for the fraud on the cabinets.
Looks like someone is going back to the hole to get his SQUEAKHOLE DORKED!
He would have played in the NFL but the league only allows players to wear one chin strap.
Was he trying to pop his collar in that pic?
I’m thinking his name should have been TouchHole…because that’s what this sad sack of shit really is, a fucking touchhole…
asshole
“What a revoltin’ development (only the old timers will remember William Bendex). Seems like Touchstone’s adopted stepson, Ferrell Ringtone, is going to marry a young lady named Beryl Dialtone. After marriage, she will be known as Beryl Dialtone Touchstone Ringtone. Smart girl who lived alone, wears rhinestones, already bought her gravestone. Her Father is a Southern Baptist pastor who regularly preaches fire and brimstone, while suffering from a gallstone. IMHO, he’s not an alcoholic, in spite of loving to inhale acetone. Would suck to be Darryl at a family reunion when all the relatives want to know more about the Tones.
This scumbag gives us real Majors a bad name. Can’t even make a pimple on a Sp-4’s ass. Can’t even make a pimple on a Pv1’s ass…..Maj Ron
This fine figure of a man worked guarding yoots in the FL Juvenile Justice Department. He lasted about a month before the kids ran his ass off crying,