Robert Lee Jones; phony SEAL

| April 6, 2018

Our Partners at Military Phonies send us their work on Robert Jones who thinks that claiming he’s a Navy SEAL somehow makes him a better English teacher;

According to the Navy, Bobbie was a Marine, an AWOL Marine;

He went AWOL on March 23, 1982, Dropped From Rolls (declared a deserter) on April 23 and a year later, he was discharged.

No SEAL training, just another jarhead deserter.

Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures

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Combat Historian

This POS deserter shouldn’t really even be called a Marine, much less a SEAL…

A Proud Infidel®™

IMHO he’s deserving of the title of EX-MARINE.


For me, piss poor wannabe POS works instead of anything associated with any Military service…..



Check out his Kenpo “SEAL” program. (insert eye roll here)




(phony SEAL Trident and martial arts bling go flying)


The “E” in his “Kenpo S.E.A.L.” distance education program stands for excellence.

Which he misspelled.



Mark Lauer

English Teacher…..


No shit, become a “black sash” by watching videos! Wow, I’ma gonna sign up for the mail order brain surgery course next, I hear they make boo coo bucks.

A Proud Infidel®™

I bet he has a genuine Black Belt in Cream of Sum Yung Guy!

A Proud Infidel®™

At least a Second Degree Black Belt in Blo-Wi-no!


Another cocksucking assclown pretending to be a SEAL…


“Sigung Robert Jones holds a Ph.D. in Political Science with a cognate area in Education earned through Northern Arizona University. Dr. Jones is a professional educator who is on the faculty of three institutions of higher Education in the Las Vegas valley. He serves as adjunct faculty for the University of Nevada Las Vegas, Regis University, and the Community College of Southern Nevada.”

In his spare time, I’m guessing that he’s a serial rapist profiler.

Mike Kozlowski

…Wonder what the odds are that the Ph.D is hinky, too…

E4 Mafia For Life.

I just finished a new template yesterday.
I’ll give you a T.A.H discount.
Would you like it on parchment?
Vellum is an option but adds 2 days for drying time.


How in the hell does a Deserter…never mind.

Green Thumb

AWOL Hero!

Fucking maggot. Deserters are pieces of shit.

Daisy Cutter

I’m guessing the deserter backstory is just a result of his CIA sheep-dipping. After all, ghost ninja assassins don’t just grow on the vine.


Great comment from the ‘Rate My Professors’ page posted above:

‘DO NOT TAKE THIS CLASS. This guy pretends to be a navy seal. I was marine infantry so saw right thru that. Lectures are just liberal rants.’

Lectures are just liberal rants.

Yep, that sounds like every actual SEAL that I know. They’re known for their liberal rants.

Deserter assclown. Take off that Trident and turn in your EGA at the nearest Marine Corps activity immediately.


Removing the title of Marine should be mandatory the 31st day of being UA.

cc senor

English teacher, eh? Well, then, while out of context this seems appropriate: “Out, damned spot.”


Deserter Robert Lee Jones, who is not a SEAL, not a Marine, not even an English teacher has been entered in the rolls as yet another libtard mental midget who lacks any creativity.

Robert Lee Jones is, however, delusional about his abilities and his skills.

Welcome to the Google history books, Robert Lee Jones. You’ve earned your place in the 5th Circle of the Stolen Valor Septic Tank Hell.


Fucking Ass Ninja Fake SEAL Richard Gere’s Butthole
Colon Gerbil

Former EM1/SS

He does look like Danny Bonnaduce’s bastard brother, so he’s got something going for him….


Tranny Hookers hiding in the closet?

Hack Stone

Looks a bit like that Fox News Intel Consultant Jared K.Stern. Does this guy need a Gatorade bottle to make #1?


Deserters. Hate them. So disregarding the time period annotated as “Active Duty” on the FOIA, I’ll leave this here:

Total elapsed time between 18 Jun 80 and 24 Mar 83: 1100 days.

Time spent by Robert Lee Jones as AWOL/UA/DESERTER: 351 days.

Just how in the Hell did he manage to retain L/CPL E-3 after spending one third of his time as a Deserter?

Kung Fu Panda with a Pizza Box.

Welcome to Goooooogle Fame, Grasshopper.


Speaking of the FOIA, methinks the NPRC clerk fornicated fido by listing Robert Lee Jones’ SSAN.

Cause as far as I know the Navy and Marine Corps had completed the conversion from Service Serial Numbers to SSAN on 1 Jan 1972.

Oh, Well.


I see the redaction(s) have occurred.

Thanks, Jonn.


Damnit, correction needed:

Elapsed time between 18 Jun 80 and 24 Mar 83 IS NOT 1100 days, but 1000 days.

I knew something was wrong when three full years worked out to be only 1095 days.

Mea Culpa.

Call me a Dumb Ass if you want to. I deserve it.

Just An Old Dog

During that time a lot of Deserters could just turn themselves in and be discharged within 10 days with a General Discharge under Honorable.
Sub Unit 1 at Camp Pendelton had a squad bay for them. They didn’t have to wear a uniform or even get a haircut.
Saved the Corps the cost of legal action. No fines, reduction, or confinement


Well, let me see what he’s got on his Facebook…. aaannnddd it’s gone.


I still see it.

Maybe you got cock-blocked./smile


Link above didn’t seem to work. Kudos to the most recent post on his Rate my Professor page.

“He was never a Navy SEAL. Picture perfect example of Stolen Valor. Numerous FOIA’s available throughout the internet his service. Congratulations Professor Jones. You are now Google famous for all of the wrong reasons.”

Nicely done.


Oh hell no. This smarmy-looking asshole is badly in need of a dick punch.


That would require him to have a dick


Lord I hate these guys.


Deserting shitbags should still get to watch a pretty sunrise from the comfort of a stake.

Its not like they are conscripts, they signed their name on the line just like everyone else.


Sounds like a good deal.

Tied to a stake, stark n3kkid, in the desert in Summer, with a glass of water 3′ away but in line of sight, for a full 24 hours.


covered in grape jam on an ant hill…


I was thinking more along the lines of tied, standing upright and facing east, to a large stake (4″x4″ or larger timber) about 7′ tall and firmly set in the ground.

Let them watch the sunrise. Then apply rule 303 afterwards.


On a stake at low tide …. then watch the tide roll in.

Hey! Crabs gotta eat too.


Finally! Callinectes sapidus need love too.


Tied bent over a bench. With a gallon of Vaseline and a Bradley manning present.

A Proud Infidel®™

Tied to a light pole in downtown Kandahar with his pants down around his ankles on Thursday night.


Robert Lee Jones is a lying piece of shit.
Robert Lee Jones was NOT a real Marine.
Robert Lee Jones was NOT a SEAL.
Robert Lee Jones was a deserting pussy.
Robert Lee Jones is a cum stain.
Robert Lee Jones likes maggot jism.


Robert Lee Jones is a impacted turtle head.

New entry for the Mountain of Insults?



Edited, “Impacted breaching turtle head”

I like the visual of this turd trying to poke his tiny head out and look around and realize he’s deep in the shit.


Roger. Edited version approved. ((Over))


Robert Lee Jones is a lying piece of shit.
Robert Lee Jones was NOT a real Marine.
Robert Lee Jones was NOT a SEAL.
Robert Lee Jones was a deserting pussy.
Robert Lee Jones is a cum stain.
Robert Lee Jones likes maggot jism.
Robert Lee Jones is a lying piece of shit.
Robert Lee Jones was NOT a real Marine.
Robert Lee Jones was NOT a SEAL.
Robert Lee Jones was a deserting pussy.
Robert Lee Jones is a cum stain.
Robert Lee Jones likes maggot jism.
Robert Lee Jones may just win the internet.


You forgot “Robert Lee Jones is a shirt-lifter,” USAF RET. Because doubtless he is.


OK you got me. “Shirt Lifter?”


The wife is English. UK slang for one who bends over, lifts his shirt tail to provide Bubba easy access


AH, got it. Thanks. now it’s worth my getting out of bed this morning.
I just learned something new.

Got-damn dry humor Brits. LOVE Em’
😀 😀 😀 😀


Oh and I’m now adding this to the Mountain of Insults®™


True AW1Ed. Robert Lee Jones is a hell of a shirt lifter.


The only Easy A was the last essay????


I see what you did there.


So this must be the reason for the SEAL claims:

“Owner-Chief Instructor at Warrior Spirit Martial Arts Academy”


And they are very proud of carefully screening their staff….my apologies in advance to anyone who knows different but I sense this a classy strip mall outfit sharing acreage with an Elvis wedding chapel, adult novelties shop, free clinic and pawn shop…


He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster.


You just bought yourself an entry on the Mountain of Insults®™
😀 😀


I wonder how much longer he will be an adjunct at that community college.


He’s an English teacher, huh?

Then why is he promoting politics in his class?

What does that have to do with the English language, other than annoy people?

Politics belong in Poli Sci, not in the English department.

And he’s a USMC deserter to boot, in a time when there was no obligation to serve at all.

Sounds like a real piece of work to me.

E4 Mafia For Life.

2 Daughters. 1 HS and 1 College. No matter what class they have, their teachers try and inject some socialist libtard programming as long as the clock ticks.
Older daughter is in the Army National Guard.
God bless her, when she was 4, she saw graffiti on a warehouse while we were driving.
“What’s up Mo?”
“Why do Democrats paint bad things on walls?”
Just got me all misty-eyed.


Aw, jeez, not this shit again!


Wonder if Robert Lee Jones used fake USMC/USN cred for employment purposes……would be a pity if he were canned.

I wonder if fake SEAL and USMC deserter Robert Lee Jones profits off his lies?


Robert Lee Jones phony SEAL and USMC deserter just won the internet. Congrats Robert Lee Jones, well deserved

A Proud Infidel®™

Robert Lee Jones phony SEAL and USMC deserter is a turd burglar as well.


I’d bet anyone a beer that this dick, Robert Lee Jones did his own “rate my Professor” rating. Robert Lee Jones, the phony SEAL and Marine Deserter.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Heavens to Betsy, Seals up in the TAH starting gate this week. Bad day for me today. Range time this morning had me trying to shoot .09MM through my Springfield XDSC .40. Was wondering why The rounds wouldn’t stack the right way in the mag. First round goes off but case doesn’t eject. I manually push it out with a rod and the case is bulged. I call the range officer over and tells me it’s a nine I was shooting instead of the forty. I thought I put the box of forties in my range bag. I should have looked at the bottom of the case, BIG DUHHHHH. You can laugh since I deserve it. It’s a first for me.

E4 Mafia For Life.

Happens to the best of us.
Especially if you are in the group of 3% of Americans own 50% of all firearms in America.
I have 3 Glocks. The 9 and 40 are identical and the frames interchangeable.
I noticed I had trouble trying to load a magazine. It took a lot more effort than usual. Looked at the case stamp. Trying to load .40 in 9MM.
Dr. Matt from Demolition Ranch likes to shoot all manner of wrong calibers from firearms among other really cool stuff.
He does so in a safe and controlled manner.
A recent one was firing a .223 from a Glock 17L.
Due to YouTubes fuckery, he might be switching over to Full30.


I’m not laughing. Although I’ve not made that mistake (yet) I have lived through enough mistakes of my own to just be glad you didn’t hurt.

Just a reminder to double-check everything.

NR Pax

Do we Marines get credit for having to admit the shit bag was one of ours or would it only have been applicable if he’d claimed to be Recon or MARSOC?


I would guess we do. Although his title is now EX-marine. Emphasis on ‘EX’ and lower case ‘m’ in Marine. Wonder how he retailed E3? (Not a LCpl at any rate)

POS he is.


If it is any comfort, the actual service (using that term in the loosest sense for Robert Lee Jones) of a phony SEAL is not recorded. That a phony signed up and did something (even if attend boot for one day) is recorded, but not the branch.

So the Marines do not specifically get a black eye from phonies like Robert Lee Jones in the TAH Phony Scorebook.

Daisy Cutter

Did he make a football move after the catch, did he have full control of the ball in the process of going to the ground, and did the opposing team’s player touch him with his index finger on his hiney before breaking the plane of the endzone which extends all around the world?

Marine 0331

Well…..what I want to know, and no offense to our squid brethren, but what what Devildog worth a shit would claim to be a squid? Even a Seal swabby? But, alas, I guess I answered my own question! He was a shitbird Jarhead and should forfeit that title. Fuck that asshole.

E4 Mafia For Life.

I heard Robert Lee Jones who is not a SEAL fought in Viet Of The ‘Nam with Steven Segal when Segal was working for the CIA.
I also heard that Jones and Segal are on the same diet.

The Other Whitey

I recently came across this excerpt of a letter from Private Theodore Goldin, who received the Medal of Honor for his actions with Reno’s detachment at the Battle of Little Big Horn, concerning someone who claimed to have been the lone survivor of Custer’s Last Stand:

“The Indians always insisted that they took no prisoners. If they did—a thing I firmly believe—they were tortured and killed the night of the 25th. As an evidence of this I recall the three charred and burned heads we picked up in the village near the scene of the big war dance, when we visited the village with Capt. Benteen and Lieut. Wallace on the morning of the 27th… I’m sorely afraid, Tony, that we will have to class Hayward’s story, like that of so many others, as pure, unadulterated B. S. As a clerk at headquarters I had occasion to look over the morning reports of at least the six troops at Lincoln almost daily, and never saw his name there, or among the list of scouts employed from time to time…I am hoping that some day all of these damned fakirs will die and it will be safe for actual participants in the battle to admit and insist that they were there, without being branded and looked upon as a lot of damned liars. Actually, there have been times when I have been tempted to deny that I ever heard of the 7th Cavalry, much less participated with it in that engagement…My Medal of Honor and its inscription have served me as proof positive that I was at least in the vicinity at the time in question, otherwise I should be tempted to deny all knowledge of the event.”


I suppose the old saying is true: “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

A Proud Infidel®™

Robert Lee Jones DID serve SOME time in the USMC before he DESERTED (pussed out) earning him the title of EX-MARINE.
Robert Lee Jones likely infests his class time with lots of liberal bullshit like Gregory Salcido.
Robert Lee Jones claims to be a Martial Arts Instructor, I wonder if he’s known to the Bullshido website yet?
Robert Lee Jones NEVER has been and NEVER will be a USN SEAL no matter what he says.
Robert Lee Jones has a skimpy looking goatee that looks like what you’d see on a testosterone-deprived adolescent.
Robert Lee Jones is followed by a rumor that he likes to blow winos behind bus stops.
Robert Lee Jones is full of shit to the 10,000th Degree.
Robert Lee Jones was likely thrown out as an E3 because his Unit saw him as a dirtbag not worthy of the effort to bust him to E1 before throwing him out with the previous day’s trash.
Robert Lee Jones is less worthy than a dog turd on a sidewalk.
Robert Lee Jones has a meat gazer’s grin.
You could tell Robert Lee Jones that meat gazing makes one’s hair fall out but he already knows that from experience.
Robert Lee Jones looks like the type one would expect to see stalking highway rest areas in a run down windowless van.
Robert Lee Jones would look right at home living under a bridge.

May The Power of Google®™ be with you Robert Lee Jones, THE INTERNET IS FOREVER!