Jessica Farrar and her bill to punish men for rubbing one out
CNN reports that Texas state representative Jessica Farrar has proposed a bill that would punish men for masturbating because she thinks that men would learn a lesson;
Farrar has long been an advocate of women’s health in a state that has made it extremely difficult for women to get abortions. And the bill, by pointing out a sexist double standard, is meant to shine a light on the obstacles women deal with when it comes to their health care.
“Let’s look at what Texas has done to women,” Farrar told CNN. “What if men had to undergo the same intrusive procedures?”
Farrar’s bill would penalize men for masturbation because such behavior is a failure to preserve the sanctity of life and “an act against an unborn child.”
Clearly she doesn’t understand the science of reproduction. If Texas had a law that made menstruation a finable offense, she’d have a point, however she misses the mark widely. I wonder how she intends to enforce the law. Are we supposed to report ourselves for rubbing one out when we’re in Texas?
Category: Dumbass Bullshit
I want a lawyer.
I haven’t been in Texas since Basic Training and Tech School, however, based on that time and this possible law, I could go to jail for the rest of my life.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
SHIT, if I had to pay a fine for every time I spanked my monkey while at two months’ training at Ft. Hood prior to our Kuwait deployment, I’d still be in debtor’s prison!
I am pleading the fifth.
Since only one sperm is needed… there should be 100 million “charges” or so each time. That’s genocide. The only thing to conclude: Spanking your monkey makes you a Nazi.
This woman really loves killing kids. She once sponsored a bill making post partum depression a defense for infanticide (by the mother of course). I guess she figured if she could not get them on one side of the womb she would get them on the other,
I am not a big anti-abortion guy, unless my tax dollars are being used to pay for it.
Even and idiot like me can see she is trying to use the bizarre comparison that sperm and a fetus are somehow the same thing.
Using her reasoning, every woman that menstruates and expels an unfertilized egg is guilty. Seems that men should spill their seed and women should be more grateful if they are involved in the process.
I will turn to the Bible for guidance:
If God did not want you to masturbate, he would have made you with shorter arms.
So the dinosaurs must have REALLY pissed him off..
Puts a whole different spin on the phrase “sexual tyrannosaurs.”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u86bGzYb2Oc
As Rodney Carrington put it, “If somebody woulda just jacked his big ass off, the plot of ‘Jurassic Park’ woulda been waaay different!”
Oh, let me.
I wondered when some dickless wonder would raise something as palpable as this. Clearly, if touching yourself is bad, hugging yourself is next on the list of socially unacceptable behaviors.
Guys, no more conversations with your trouser trumpets, no more touchy-feely, no more junk in your trunks.
I think she’s jealous. We could take up a collection to – oh, never mind.
Let’s get her a bag of dicks.
She’s a Donk… it’s all about the va-jay-jay, people!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Farrar
The best part about the First Amendment is that it makes it easy to find out who are the morons.
Would flushing a turd down the toilet be considered a crime for improper disposal of a Bernath?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk
If this law goes nationwide, there could be legal repercussions at each Board of Directors meeting at the proud woman owned business that I work for. Psaul opens each meeting with a ceremonial toss-off.
I guess I need to start saving my money.
Getting a look at Jessica I’m thinking this new law was motivated by one too many guys telling her, “no thanks, I’d rather…”
^^^^THIS^^^^
^^^^LMAO^^^^
She’s the reason the Army issued you a Barracks Bag.
Uhmmm, what?
What a man does privately with himself relates to the general health of women how?
Just can’t get there from here. A map probably would not help.
Jessica Farrar, she’s as much of a Boner-buster as Das Hildebeast! What does she have more of, stupid or UGLY?!
Then her bill is hypocritical, because her sperm bank will have to shut down.
I love it when the ignorant think they sound smart. She must be against men’s health because masturbation prevents prostate cancer.
to very loosely paraphrase Mark Twain or Will Rogers… 90 percent of men masturbate, and 10 percent are liars…if this bimbo gets her way, that’s a hell of a lot of guaranteed revenue!
Nah, equal protection and all that, women would have to pay up, also.
Since this was just a sarcastic play for attention I’d say it’s worked rather well as she has countless websites from all over commenting on this satirical piece of legislation.
She clearly stated she knew it wouldn’t become law, but she wanted something that might mirror how Texas law legislates a vagina to generate a discussion, job accomplished from my perspective.
While I don’t believe abortion is an appropriate birth control method the data suggests that the rhetoric about killing babies isn’t accurate as only 1.2% of abortions take place after a child is considered viable…usually for reasons so horrific I’m glad I didn’t have to make that kind of choice.
For me there are 40 million less people in the US that nobody wanted…that means less crime and less social debt load to deal with them.
As there is no real program in place to deal effectively today with most of our poor with respect to raising solid, honest, citizens instead of criminals I see no reason that our society would ever want to abolish abortion. What do you do with all those kids? Jail most of them? How do you feed and house them? Most people on this site already bitch about freeloaders…you don’t honestly believe that 40 million people that no one wanted around would be all productive solid citizens do you?
I understand the religious aspect of the anti-abortion crowd and I respect those beliefs but until someone comes up with a way to fund a productive start for all those abortions who would instead become actual citizens it makes no sense as a social policy to eliminate abortion.
Just hoping that people will act differently is about the same as shitting in one hand and wishing in the other, we all know which hand fills first.
I’m religious (not great at it but I try), and like Dave Hardin I’m not totally against abortion. You make some great points.
My problem with abortion, and think most others, is when I am expected to pay for them.
Other than in cases of rape, it’s their mistake- they should pay for it! Stupidity should be painful and expensive so that you learn from it.
You’re going to pay one way or another, that’s a given whether you like it or not. That’s how our taxes work…we all pay for shit we don’t want to pay for…my state is one that gets less money back from the feds than a lot of others, why am I paying for the ineptitude of other state legislatures? Why am I getting less back in grants? Because my state does better than so many others with respect to personal income so fuck us? I like these independent states that think they are independent but require more paid back from prosperous states to fund their dipshit mismanagement…but I digress…
Since we all have to pay for shit we don’t like, I prefer to pay less, abortions cost less than raising a criminal that we will incarcerate for all of their lives….that is at least a better return on my dollars…and no one except the future criminal is victimized….I realize my point of view isn’t popular here…but there it is.
Regarding the pre/post viability thing, VOV, my firstborn daughter reacted to the sound of my voice at just over three months gestation. I was surprised she could kick that early. But she not only reacted to noises, she reacted differently to my voice. Most noises caused her to kick in the direction of the noise, like she was trying to get away from it. But when she heard my voice, she would kick and push against the opposite side of the womb, and my wife could feel her trying to move herself closer to me. She recognized my voice as that of her Daddy, long before she could have survived birth.
That was not something I expected, and it moved me to tears. I didn’t think she could have developed any kind of cognition that early. The doc wasn’t surprised when we told her, though. My son did the same thing, and our new daughter (due in July) is doing it now.
Even if I wasn’t religious, there’s no way anybody can ever convince me that my little girl (or any of my kids) wasn’t a person at that point.
I agree with you, and none of that changes anything I wrote.
You nailed it, TOW.
Very cool TOW! and the whole viability thing is a moving target. When my son was born 19 years ago ( 12 1/2 weeks early, less than 2 lbs) he spent 100 days in the hospital. they said that 5 years earlier, he wouldn’t have made it. Now, kids born that early survive regularly.. and if you went the opposite direction, back around the start of this country, infant mortality was something like 50%? so does that mean that it would have been ok for abortion after birth back then? to me it’s a BS argument anyway you look at it. abortion is killing a human. if you can justify that based on finances, then you can make the same argument for any human, at any stage of life. While I agree with VOV that many of these would have grown up to be drains on society, it’s also entirely plausible that the next Einstein or Shakespeare are among those aborted as well. A better option ( and one that doesn’t involving killing babies) would be to require all those on welfare to get Norplant or similar. if you can’t afford to support yourself, and want the govt to do it, then the govt should have the right to prevent you from adding to the problem..
I think for clarification purposes I should state that I don’t know anyone who has had an abortion and I should also state it was never an option for me personally or my wife….
When we discuss social policy I can separate what I believe is right for me personally into what is useful for all of us. I never had to look at my wife and decide if her life was less important than a baby that might have massive birth defects…I don’t know what we would have chosen at that time…and I’m glad I don’t have to find out.
What we are discussing I think are two separate entities, I agree with the prospect of better birth control….I would far prefer birth control to abortion again simply from a financial program cost as it’s less invasive and is cheaper to maintain than a medical semi-surgical intervention….all of that makes for good social policy. However many promoting ending all abortions have no plan for what happens when they all stop and that tiny fraction of people at 1.2% who are facing death need an option, nor are they offering any solution to care for these children that no one wants, nor are they offering what you suggest in the form of a programmed birth control. All of which should be a discussion we should be having.
I’m for the cheapest solution, which is birth control, but a great many people don’t even want to see birth control as an option. But they also don’t want to care for the resulting humans. We have a problem we need to resolve, pretending it heals itself never works.
Interesting take. My family was close to dirt-poor, yet amazingly enough none of us were criminals.
Same here dirt poor, no criminals…
But murder has dropped steadily since the 70s…and we are discussing 40 million additional Americans who are not here…who knows the positive impact they might made or the negative impact for that matter….with the current state of joblessness one suspect adding 20 million more to those numbers wouldn’t be very positive for the economy….
Not all poor people are criminals, not all muslims are terrorists, etc…but statistically speaking more single mom, poor families produce criminals than middle class dual parent situations…and oddly enough many of those abortions are by exactly that statistically prone to produce criminals population demographic.
Will the bill penalize her for swallowing?
No there’s actually a tax credit to encourage more of that….
I believe it was Lincoln who remarked that it was better not to say anything and have folks wonder if you were an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Ms (one assumes)Farrar apparently lacks the ability at self censorship, and manners.
Hey. look at me, I’m NUTS!
Perhaps a hot water bottle and a couple of cats?
I like my Grandpa’s version better:
“Would you rather keep your mouth shut and let everybody think you’re a shithead, or open it and confirm their suspicions?”
She’s just doing attention-whoring, Bernie.
I guarantee you the State of Texas has zero laws penalizing a woman in any way for gratifying herself sexually. This Farrar chick is an idiot, and she might want to go back to 6th Grade, because her knowledge of where babies come from appears decidedly lacking.
I’d hit it.
With a truck?
Peterbuilt
WHY ruin the front end of a perfectly good “Pete” when you could use a good old say, M35A1 “Deuce” and it wouldn’t even scratch the paint?
In that case, why not a halftrack?
The men of America should rub one out in protest of this silly twat.
In an envelope and send it to Jessica
A million man rub on the capital steps.
A Spank-in?
“Wanna spank your monkey like it’s funky? JOIN US and pump your porpoise for a purpose!”
We’ll need someone to knit a bunch of penis hats. The precedent has already been set.
I have to say that TOW talking about his children reacting to his voice put a lump in my throat. That is freaking awesome.
Now to the topic of the post: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Do all state legislators in all states waste the taxpayers time on crap like this?!!!! I thought we had one of corner markets on elected fruits and nuts up here in Washington. I remember when the WA State Legislature met EVERY OTHER year. The legislators were expected to get their ass to Olympia, get shit done and then get back to work before Junior ruined the business.
Maybe we should institute a DRAFT for legislative service? “Hello from your legislative district friends and neighbors. We can find no record of felony conviction in your history; get your ass to Olympia, don’t fuck around, we REALLY do know where you live.
Umm sorry this kind of waste of time and oxygen pisses me off a bit…
‘Do all state legislators in all states waste the taxpayers time on crap like this?!!!!’
Yes, they do. They waste an amazing amount of time trying to pass laws on issues that were addressed before they were born. That’s YOUR time and YOUR tax money at work there.
Gotta love the turds in Oly…10% of transportation project funding is REQUIRED to be set aside for roadside art.
Gotta give your starving artist cousin a bone ya know.
OH MAN! Atkron, Id forgotten about that! I remember when the Dept of Health spent a ton of $$$ on art at their new offices in Tumwater. Like we need all that? I cannot imagine Ma and Pa Washington giving too much of a damn about whether we have nice art at state offices or not.
I work for the state in Richland, we have art, it was painted by one of our coworkers. Thank goodness she is a good artist and is happy to hang her work here. Didn’t cost the taxpayer a single dollar.
Starving artist cousins need to get real JOBS. Oh wait…what the hell am I talking about its Olympia.
One thing – in Texas the state legislators are part-timers. They only meet once every 2 years.
Unfortunately, Texas has its share of idiots, and some of those get elected – as exemplified by the current subject of our aberration. All sorts of things can be, and will be, submitted as a bill over the next several months. Some (but not all) of these legislators have rather over-sized egos (even for Texans) and love to try to grab the spotlight.
She’s an idiot.
As of the 2010 Census, each Texas lower house member represents an average of 167,637 people. Great job Jessica, representing your entire district.
To be equal, the bill should also include $100 fine for women who refuse to swallow.
According to Jessica, only GOP men jerk off.
Honestly, this doesn’t surprise me at all coming from an 11th term activist.
So…would we need like a swear jar for this? I might need to go to Costco.
So if I rub one out in Texas, I’ll be fined or arrested or somehow punished?
How about this? How about if Jessica rubs it out for me? Would she be punished or would I still be punished even though she is the guilty party?
I gotta tell you, there are degrees of stupidity that Dumbocrats aspire which have not yet been identified. This is weapons grade stupidity.
What if you were standing in Okie on the border and your Freedwilly was in Texas. Do they only cuff willy? If they only cuff willy. Is then assisting in a crime.
What if you give it a grab and do not finish?
while she is attention whoring, she does have a point – the Texas Lege spends an inordinate amount of time on things like bathroom bills, retaliating against abortion providers etc. which would be better spent on things like infrastructure, water management, and so on. There is a reason they only meet every other year, to allow us at least alternate years of peace and quiet. Everything is bigger in Texas… including idiot politicians in both parties
It’s just an attention-whoring joke bill that is designed specifically to do what it’s currently doing in the media and here. Still, I’d hate to think what the same basic theory would say about vasectomy.
I remember when the priest gave us the talk about masturbation. Something about your “cup runeth over”. At the time I thought he was talking about athletic supporters. Then I met Sally and she straightened me out.
Not to be rude but if this law goes in to effect, could a lady friend be in trouble for performing oral sex on her boyfriend? I mean she ate a lot of babies.
Is it a defense to prosecution that said masturbater had a vasectomy at the time of the offense?
I think she’s just jealous because she doesn’t have one of her own, and can’t fuck herself as a result.
I have doubts that she’s ever seen an actual, live, adult penis.
Do you mean that she buys hers battery powered at the fun shop?
Just trying to be clear here.
In Iraq we at the shock trauma platoon called it
“desert sperm blockage”. Most young guys thought their lower abdominal discomfort was early appendicitis or something. They were relieved when they were told to go pound their lizards. Only bad morale day came when our male nurse got to have his nurse wife (from 80 miles away) work in a “visit”. After 6 hrs in a zipped up tent he came out pale and wabbling. We wanted to kill him then and there.
Story from OIF.1 CAPT Bones
‘…pale and wobbling’???? OH, I am SO stealing that one!
When I observed the title, I assumed the high comment count was due to a spewing dickhead.
What no comment from the socialist sage of the Peoples’ Republic of Berzerkely? Certainly he must have some words in support of this clever progressive dhimmicrat piece of legislation.
Impotence is a personal issue, rgr769.
To paraphrase regular commenter Bobo, from another thread:
“One of the great things about the First Amendment is it helps you quickly identify morons.”
That’s a keeper, Bobo. I’m stealing at least some variant thereof. (smile)
It’s a pity when that ID occurs among the members of a legislative body or government bureaucracy. Unfortunately, that’s all too common.
Does her bill exempt gay men?