Joseph McSpadden; Fake Navy SEAL
And now comes before us the intimidating Joe McSpadden. I guess the people at militaryphony.com were getting reports that Joey was using his awesome training as a Navy SEAL to scare people. 
Apparently, there are claims that he was wounded as well. I bet you will never guess what kind of tattoo he has.
He even likes to give out advice on how to properly get a Navy SEAL tattoo. You can read all about it HERE. People seemed to have questions and doubts about his claims, so they ordered his official records through a FOIA request.
Joe McSpadden was a Hull Tech. 2 years, 10 months and 14 days on active duty. Nothing at all wrong with being a Hull Tech and learning a job skill like welding. He did no SEAL training and has no record of a combat injury. But, I guess he has that tattoo going for him. They say he tried to explain the tattoo away by claiming it was to honor his dead brother. Call me skeptical, but I am having trouble choking down that kind of thing. It looks like little Joey has been busy scrubbing pages on the interwebnet thingy already.
Category: Politics
That picture looks like he sat on a butt plug for the first time and surprisingly liked it.
Doo Rag: Check
Vest: ?
Dog: ?
Not trying very hard.
I feel sorry for the bike.
Ponytail?😉
It is amazing the we get anything done in the Navy at all. With us being nothing but SEALS how the hell does anything else get done.
“I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: ‘I served in the United States Navy.” JFK
I guess not, for shit bags like him.
Well, since there are fewer ships in the fleet since WW2, that might make it easy. Plus, all those ships are techno-super things now so they don’t even need people anymore right?
We’ll always need turd chasers on our high tech mega death fleet of destroyers. Turd Chaser is the actual, official name for HT’s (Hull Techs). Whenever you’ve got a backed up shitter in Ops berthing, better call the man. A man, like Joey, who chases that turd clogging your plumbing all the way to the CHT commutator.
No leather vest with a SEAL patch?
That is how I knew he was a fake.
FYI. I did save the life of a SEAL. In a hostile environment too.
True story.
We were in the chow hall eating steak. He started to choke. I did the Heimlich.
And the first thing he said to me after he recovered?
Not “Thank you” or “I owe you one…”
But “I was not choking, I didn’t need your help and you didn’t save my life…”
It would have been awesome if you replied:
“Nor did I think you were choking. I was merely getting my rocks off by dry jumping your ass.”
I said something along the lines of “You want me to shove that half chewed piece of meat back down your throat?”
Good times…and we still keep in touch.
GODDAM IT! LOL I was eating breakfast when I read that!
Motorcycle? Check
Doorag? Check
Tats? Check (Although not nearly enough)
But …
NO Dog, thousand yard stare, vest with multiple patches. NO POW patch!!
Tough call, but I go with bogus.
Thousand yard stare? Maybe if there are a bunch of naked guys 1000 yards away he’s looking at.
Whoever did his 214 was in love with the ‘X’ key.
That’s to keep him from adding all the high-speed, low-drag shit to it Ala Jesse Macbeth.
Doesn’t that make about, oh, 55 SEALs this week? I’ll be glad when Jonn is back so we get a variety of posers. I’m tired of everyone being a SEAL/SF/Ranger. I want variety.
Diversity, hell yeah.
Yeah, the SEAL thing is too easy.
I want to see a midget claiming to be a tunnel rat.
I’m getting a vibe that soon we will inundated with phony PJs and Force Recon dudes.
Hey, ‘McSpatter’ welcome to your new friend for eternity: Google.
The only thing this turd scares are young boys.
This tool takes gheyness to a whole new level.
Looks like Phildo and the boys have a new member.
Dude has the prison pussy on the piehole, and probably loves himself some ghey whey something fierce… probably claims fractured taint syndrome with the VA.
I wonder if he is scamming the VA as well?
He probably loves to wear his riding chaps pantless…
ex-OS2:
We have another phony SEAL in the open for you again this morning. Target is on a motorcycle with an assclown doo-rag and a moronic grin.
You are cleared hot.
Cocksucker.
BOOOOOOOOOM!
Shack!
Yes indeed; yet another precision impact on a Stolen Valor poser in the open. Outstanding effect on the target.
It has been a very target-rich environment this week, and ex-OS2’s accuracy continues to be uncanny.
Okay … I’m OLD …. what does “shack!” mean in your context? I’ve seen it a few times on TAH.
The only definitions I know of are (1) primative shelter, and (2)sleeping/living with someone of the opposite sex?
And the urban dictionary didn’t help.
JSF
In this context, “shack!” means that he hit the target dead center.
For example, if a Forward Air Controller is calling aircraft in to bomb a target, and their bombs hit the target ‘center mass”, the Forward Air Controller will say that the attacking aircraft “shacked” the target.
Hope this helps…
Is shacked the past tense of shick?
Oh, thanks.
I thought it had something to do with Shaquille O’Neal.
Like a slam dunk or something.
In some cases, yes. A yuuuge slam dunk!
Thanks Mick!
JSF
How does a guy who tells people he’s 90% disabled then intimidate people?
I have to say I’m not usually intimidated by guys who aren’t disabled….I’m wracking my brain to remember a time when I felt intimidated by a guy who’s only 10% of what he used to be, whatever that was….
I’m not claiming any tough guy status, just stating a simple fact…who is intimidated by guys so fucked up they are disabled at 90%?
Did I miss a memo? The guy on the bike looks about as intimidating as my grandmother…I mean those massive biceps have to be what? 14 inches? Woo, I’m shitting myself just looking at it…
Fucking clown.
Word.
I am 70% disabled, but intimidating others?? My friends say just looking at me can be. But, I have never misrepresented myself either, just another guy that did the work.
Some disabilities are mental, VOV.
Don’t know about you, but I find the prospect of dealing with ANY individual having three screws loose and the fourth missing a bit . . . disquieting. Particularly if they happen to be, say, 6′ 5″ and about 260lb.
That doesn’t describe this guy. But they do exist.
Oh, I’d love to see the RE- and separation codes for this clown after he can’t even hit the 3-year point.
he *did* manage promotion all the way to E3
Welders are skilled labor in demand, but he’d rather be a moron? What’s his 90% disability caused by, stepping on his own crank?
Weldadickitis
Long at it, it would explain why he got out when he did, without getting busted (look at his date of rank.)
But he’s still a shitbag.
IS that a pair of plastic knucks he is wearing on his left hand? Talk about bad ass intimidating! Yeh, he might be intimidating around a nursing home……as long as he had V O V’s granny to back him up with a baseball bat and some chains.
Jarhead, I believe it’s eye protection (because it seems this guy is too cool to wear a helmet).
WTF is that around his lips and mouth, leftover clown makeup or did he just get done blowing the Dutch Rudder Gang and a platoon of winos behind a bus stop in record time?
Well what d’ya know, another fake SEAL…
Yes indeed.
It’s sad to see that the other poser categories are falling way behind the phony SEALs lately.
Where are all of the phony SF, Force Recon, PJs, and Rangers?
C’mon posers! Giddyup!!!
It’s halftime. They are getting a new gameplan together.
Still waiting for a fake posering combat historian, no luck yet…
Funny you should mention… stay tuned.
We try to put out a nice shit sandwich for everyone and you complain about what kind of bread it is on.
No worries, I hear rumors the bread truck has been delivering a nice assortment.
We might be taking requests, you have a preference?
Another perfectly honorable service record drug through the Stolen Valor cesspool.
Idiot.
Ohhhh, the classic “I got the tattoo to “honor” my dead friend/brother/father person I never knew”. Perfectly legit guys, move along, nothing to see here. I’m sure any other pictures of him sporting a Trident have the same explanation. Right? /boot to the head
What a syphilitic, pile infested, inflamed, gaping, ball working asshole, shit tonguing, cock gobbling, sperm burping, fuck knuckle thunder cunt.
I wouldn’t believe that guy was a SEAL even if he WAS one.
You always hate it when it’s one of your own. Anyone who’s ever been aboard ship knows what a HT’s nickname is: turd chaser. Aside from welding, pipefitting, and DC work we are also the ship’s plumbers hence the name. Sometimes the work can be unpleasant, but it what it is…but it wasn’t confused with any SPECOPS work. This guy went from chasing them to being one…a big, fat, stinking turd! Enjoy the GOOGLE fame Joseph ‘McSpooch’ McFadden.
A little off topic, but does the Navy teach welding at sea? Not at a school?
Somehow that surprises me given the need for welds to be strong and consistent on a ship rather hoping and praying the welding was done correctly.
I’m probably wrong though.
You’d be amazed how many Shop 26 guys (welders) in the Shipyard are former HTs. And they do go to specialty welding schools.
Knew one HT2 in R-10 (nuke repair) who did the most beautiful welds you ever saw. Helped he was a raging alcoholic, cause the shakes gave him a perfect pass bead.
What’s that writing on his belt below his back That begins with ‘HA”, HAPPY HONEY HOLE?
Probably thinks he’s a SEAL, because he once “SEALed” a hull hole with his torch when he was aboard the USS John F Kennedy. Most likely where he got his Purple Hear from too, from welding splash back. Yup, legit Navy SEAL.
Hey, ‘McSplatter’ welcome to your Google fame. Remember, Google is forever. Don’t think so? Google yourself in 30 years. Guess what? You’re STILL there. Bwhaaaaa
SEAL my fat ass.
In Afghanistan, through the fog and chaos of battle it was common to hear the cry – “Welder Up!”
Why go through BUD/S and get sand in your shorts?
Much easier route to just get the tattoo and tell made up war stories.
90% fucked up from a SEAL mission? More like 100% fucked up from no mission.
As I looked over the pic, one horrifying thought occurred to me: What am I going to do, when Hulkamania runs all over me???
As I looked over the pic, one horrifying thought occurred to me: What am I going to do, when Hulkamania runs wild all over me???
(I can’t believe I left out “wild”)