What’s up peeps?

Got an email this weekend from our good friend Dallas Wittgenfeld who was concerned we haven’t held a Stolen Valor tournament lately, and he was clearly traumatized by the fact I haven’t been posting as much.  He thinks it’s because my lawyers have a gag order on me.

So, to clarify a few facts for the mentally and factually deficient intoxicated clown:

1. It takes a lot of work to do the SVA Tourney, and I have a small child at home.  The only time she’s quiet is during Wheel of Fortune, and that’s not enough time to sift through thousands of names and get the tourney set up.
2. I hurt my back doing Santa stuff, so I’ve been bed ridden for basically 3 weeks, so I’ve done nothing.
3. I found out the other day that my wife is expecting twins.  I’ve been in the fetal position questioning why a deity has it in for me ever since.
4. Our lawsuit against a disgraced and disbarred attorney continues unabated.  For those wondering why we hadn’t sought to have him declared a vexatious litigant, that is now accomplished.  Additionally, the court ordered him to pay some of our legal fees.  That’s just a start.  I’ll be sharing at some point, but if you have PACER, you should go read the vexatious motion, because I think it is the best motion ever written.
5. Wittgenfeld will get his.  He’s claiming he’s going to sue me for some unexplained reason.  To say I am unconcerned is to overstate it.  I’ve literally never written anything about him untrue, and he can’t cite to anything.  He just makes generic statements that I “lied” but can’t actually cite to a single statement of fact that is not accurate and which is defamatory.  He has as good a chance of succeeding as the Browns do in winning this years’ Superbowl.
6. The aforementioned numbnuts updated his website this morning to say he is suing:

Schantag-Robbins-North-Shipley-Oliver-Seavey-Davis-Mason-Lilyea-Blowers-Hanson-Tibbetts-Hughes-Cabarle-Bugler-Hegseth-Hawke-Bell-Greene-Marley-Robertson-Waterman-Bailey-Robinson-Caffrey-Burden-Lockett-Waymon-Amundson-McCartney-Cummings-Haina-Wilson-Weir-Burkett-Whitney-Sterner-Holzer

I don’t know at least 1/2 those people, but it should be fun.

NONETHELESS, yes, I will be having a Stolen Valor Tournament.  I think Dallas wants to be included, but alas, it will be all new contestants, so he won’t make the field.  But it make be a few weeks or even a month, as I have a TON of stuff going on, and I’ve been out of the office for 3 weeks, laying in bed, crying softly into my pillow and watching 11 seasons of Supernatural.  Back injuries are no joke.  And pain pills make me not poop.  So all kinds of non happiness going on.

But, my basic point to this post is yes, I am okay, no I have not disappeared.  Anyone with small kids will understand, but I just honestly had a ton of work stuff, and not a lot of time.  By the time I get home, I play with my kid, watch Big Bang Theory and go to bed.  There’s no friction between Jonn and I (in fact, if I have a boy his middle name will be the same as our Supreme Potentate) and everything is good.  My lawyer does not have me on some gag order which these morons seem to think.

That should cover it.

Twins.  I am so screwed.  If you are the praying type, please throw some up for the love of my life, who is suffering some pretty bad morning sickness, which (despite the name) seems to last all day long.

I liked the look on Violet’s face when I tried to explain that she’s going to be a big sister to not one, but two little ones:

Category: Politics