Jose Lantigua pleads guilty
Over a year ago, we first wrote about this fellow, Jose Lantigua, who faked his death in Venezuela for a 6.6-million dollar death benefit payout. He was captured in his own home in North Carolina last year because he was a master at hide-and-go-seek. of course, aside from being a fake dead guy, he was also a fake Ranger, special forces killer dude with a Silver Star – of course that was all a lie.
Well, Florida Times-Union reports that he pleaded guilty earlier this week;
Before his disappearance, Lantigua and his wife, Daphne Simpson, circulated a story that he had mad cow disease and was traveling to Venezuela to get treatment. In reality, the plea agreement said, he flew to Caracas, Venezuela to get a fake death certificate and other paperwork that would be used to explain him vanishing.
The papers said Lantigua had convinced Simpson he was once a team leader for a fictional Army special operations team, and that a drug cartel from the team’s past wanted to kill him.
Simpson was told both of their families were in danger, the papers said.
Simpson pleaded guilty last month to conspiring to commit mail and wire fraud, although a prosecutor told a judge Lantigua “hoodwinked” her.
He’s looking at a fifty-year sentence, but I’m sure his plea will dramatically reduce his sentence.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
Send him back to Venezuela. Drop him into the jungles and let him find his way back to Caracas.
Better yet, dump him in the middle of a Caracas food riot and then inform the starving rioters via megaphone that Lantigua’s from the Food Ministry and he’s here on behalf of Maduros to tell the famished masses to FUCK OFF…
That would work, too.
Although it would be fun to watch the poser fight it out with the Indios in the jungle…
“I’m a Ranger! Back off” Thwunk.
I second that one ????
Did he even try the “No, I’m not him! I’m his heretofore unknown twin,” defense?
Shave the goatee, develop a lisp, wear a hat-try something.
Dumbass!?
Naw, he’s smarter than us smucks, just ask him.
He is actually just up the road from me (Asheville). I should attend his sentencing in uniform and horse laugh his dumb ass.
He looks like a monchichi doll grown old and grey.
These people are evidence that reincarnation is not real. Come on, who would come back to life as a bag of shit? They have already been there and did that.
I guess we are stuck with resurrection. I just wish we could enjoy a good Crucifixion first, ahhh the good ole days.
A Zombie Turd Word
Bubba & Thor get another addition to their harem.
Dude is gonna get to eat from the cockmeat sammich and tubesteak buffet (with plenty of helpings of manmayo and nutbutter) at the BTJT Buffet in the poundhimintheass prison.
Bernath is gonna be REALLY pissed. That’s the second one this week that miraculously came back from self-murder, or whatever bullshit he’s calling it in this week’s legal diarrhea.
Splash. Out.
Wonder what the premium was on his 6.6 million policy? Most insurance companies would have thrown red flags all over that.
I know how much I pay for mine, which is only a small fraction of that, so I would imagine it’s somewhere in the, “Holy Shit!” range.
And don’t a lot of policies have a limited payout if the insured kicks within a certain period like a year or two?
Yeah, if you croak within a specified time, your heir gets back premiums and, I think, interest. Same with suicide. Some pay nothing in the event of a suicide. Some won’t pay if suicide takes place within a specified time.
Well clearly he doesn’t understand one simple aspect of faking your own death, and that’s disappearing. Once you fake it you need to DB Cooper your ass right out of Dodge and never be seen again….
Can’t get part 1 down correctly it’s not a surprise to see his sentence will keep him in prison until long after I’m a goner…unless I figure out how to live past a 100…as would he need to sort that out for himself as well.
I just saw DB on another thread… at least he SAID he was DB…
Did he happen to run across Elaine Ricci while he was down there?
If Daniel Bernath can fake being a lawyer, why can’t this guy fake being dead?
He did. I think he faked being dead better than a certain someone faked being a lawer. Since this turd got caught, you can draw you own conclusions on how well that certain someone did.
Cocksucker.
Things not to think about when sucking prison cock
“These guys get regular AIDS exams, right? right?!? RIGHT?!?”
Holden
Snicker?
If this yardbird was a real Veteran he would have had the class on AWOL. Lesson one, The first place the cops check is your home of record, don’t go home!
We had a kid that was always going over the hill and many time the cops would beat him to his girlfriend’s house. It seems that even a Greyhound can’t beat Motorola. Thirty days in the Philadelphia Brig and an OTH discharge solved our problem. Not so his.
Hey it’s Zombie week on TAH
??????????
I’ve got a new one scheduled for tomorrow morning.
Oh boy, another new “dead” guy…
????
Can’t wait for October ??
Google says there were seven policies totaling $6.6 million. Three companies paid a total of $871,000, but the other four smelled a rat and wouldn’t pay. I doubt those three companies got back much money. Google also has a pic of his wife. Not too bad; not too good. But definitely SARC material.
Problem with a con such as this is you gotta stay out of the States. You must disappear completely in a foreign company, and even then it’s very difficult to pull off. One article says he was stopped driving a Jeep. I wonder if he ran a light or something?
Ever watch cop shows? Some dummy with multiple warrants or bales of dope in their trunk runs a light, sign, taillight out, no plate or out-of-date plate, cracked windshield, etc. Some of those people are too stupid to find their ass with both hands and a mirror.
I always said that the brig is chock full of people smarter than the Marine Corps.
I must not be watching the same movies:
The guy who fakes his own death moves away to a strange and far-away place, where he is a cypher, a quiet nobody.
The super-secret warrior/agent/squirrel has elaborately mundane lifestyle, dresses like a nebbish schlub, and has absolutely boring cover stories: “I sell insurance to insurance companies.” “Well, I go bowling sometimes, but I do not play well.” “Go to a mall downtown? Isn’t that dangerous?”
Outing yoruself as an “super-secret operator” to the normals is shouting “I am absolutely incompetent, or a total fraud”.