Wayne Simmons; sentenced and unbowed
Hack Stone sends us a link to the Washington Post which reports that Wayne Simmons, the Fox News commentator, was sentenced to 33 months in prison while he was in Federal Court yesterday;
“There is not a day that goes by that I am not haunted by these mistakes,” Simmons said. “I stand before you a shameful and broken man.”
But Simmons, who wore a blue suit and an American flag lapel pin, did not back down from his claims that he spent 27 years as an agency operative doing work so dangerous and secretive that it went entirely unrecorded. He said Friday that he lied his way into military contractor work to make use of a “special skill set” he implied was acquired undercover.
Judge T.S. Ellis III was unconvinced.
“I read spy novels,” the judge said before issuing his sentence. “Every spy novel has black-ops, off-the-books operations. Maybe these things exist.”
He said that, like the many people Simmons fooled, he was initially impressed by the defendant’s charisma and “fascinated” to see what proof Simmons would offer — only to get none.
The Post goes on to explain that Simmons was discharged from the Navy for medical problems after a few weeks of training. Simmons claimed that he was recruited from basic training by the CIA. The CIA claims that they don’t recruit basic trainees. That admission alone screws up several phonies’ stories in our archives.
Four former senior CIA officials interviewed by prosecutors said the dramatic undercover operations Simmons described were imaginary.
David Cohen, a former director of the clandestine service, called the descriptions so “far-fetched” and “inconceivable” that they were nothing more than a “Hollywood script.”
I’m sure he’ll be able to entertain his new roommates in the Gray Bar Hotel with those tales, though.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
He knows 43 ways to kill you in a silent and untraceable manner with just that lapel pin.
I can Fart and clear a room !!!!!
is that cool or what
bhwhahahahahahaha !!!!!
Beans are neither musical nor fruit.
But, the more you eat them, the more you toot!
Au contraire, beans, like all legumes, are technically fruits.
Captain Pedantic, away!
but remember, the more you toot the better you feel…
Feed me a Bean Burrito MRE and I can knock a forest down!
That would be the (in)famous Daisy Cutter Fart.
The ultimate weapon of ass destruction.
Truly, a weapon of (m)Ass destruction….
Just give any one of you three full weeks in the jungles of Vietnam and no one will stick around long enough to say ‘Hi’ to any of you.
Skippy,
Reminds me of a MSgt (good ole RC) who was flying with us one day. RC had gas really bad and let go in the battle staff compartment of the airplane. Smell was so bad, half the compartment exited aft to the tail section and the other half of us went into the radio compartment. I glanced back into the battle staff area and there was RC, looking embarrassed. Not because he’d cleared the compartment, but because the General we were flying with was still in his seat, but surrounded by a major cloud of pipe smoke as he puffed away trying to keep from laughing.
as a young 98G on Reforger in Gerrmany, my team chief confessed he just HAD to take his boots off – and warned my his feet got pretty rank. We’re in the equivalent of a slide-in camper on a Dodge pickup…ain’t nowhere to go. I’m frantically puffing my pipe, the air is positively green – and this female E5 opens the door to the hut to relieve him… it damn near knocked her all the way to France.
Just another lying newscaster! nothing to see here folks, move along!
As I understand, he was also a CNN commentator, MSNBC, CBS, etc. But then, there’s gotta be something to link him to that evil fox news channel.
The CIA is constantly recruiting dudes too broke-dick to make it past 2 weeks of basic
Among the crimes he pleaded guilty to committing was being a felon in possession of a firearm. There was also fraud and fraud related crimes. And for these he received a sentence of just 33 months. Nice deal.
Hey, that’s almost 3 years. Did you expect more? It’s not like he’d get the max, or anything close to the max.
What do you think, 2/17? With “good behavior” maybe 16-17 months?
Well, he was prosecuted by oBaMa’s gang and there is that war against guns so I just thought that this guy would pull more time for that crime. Silly me.
But, he’s a criminal, so the war on guns gets forgotten. Imagine if he’d done 28 straw purchases or more, he’d be out on the streets on probation.
Federal sentences don’t have those sort of reductions (like parole). Best case is he’s eligible for Good Time Credit and gets out after 28 months and change.
Delusional.
33 months… dude is going to lean to appreciate cockmeat sammiches and tubesteak before he finishes his sentence
Wayne will know the meaning of “CIA” when he gets acquainted w/ Jethro, LeRoy, Roscoe, Jorge, and Tiny.
Somewhere retired Delta guy CSM Haney is chuckling at the unfortunate situation of condescending A-hole Wayne Simmons.
He will learn that “CYA,” as opposed to CIA, means something very different and physical when confronted with amorous cellies in the bighouse.
Obligatory:
Love it! McGoohan lived about three miles from where my father grew up in Ireland. My aunt used to take care of him as a kid.
Awesome show.
Did I tell you guys my real name is G— C— and I am a cashier for an ultradeep network of blathering spytoons?
Also keep in mind CIA isn’t a veterans preference agency. Unless somebody is recruited to go into the tiny 1% of SAD or GRS contractor they wants almost 100% SOF backgrounds, they don’t want people who are former military or anybody previously associated with national security because it’s hard to keep their public service a secret. The job of a case officer involves being stationed in a foreign country, usually at an embassy, to recruit and meet informants in secret. It’s more journalism than James Bond – shooting guns and high risk/high speed ops it is not.
CIA, being a civilian agency, covers a wide array of national security topics that are much more boring and mundane – economic, political, science and technology, etc. The “cloak and dagger” stuff is only a very small percentage of what the agency does. DIA tends to be more “veteran friendly” because it is a military intelligence agency and focuses primarily on military topics. While not as well known as CIA, in my opinion, it is just as interesting a place to work. If it weren’t for all the publicity surrounding the CIA has thanks to books and movies, I think it would have a much harder time recruiting people than it does.
The first CIA agents I met all looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
While I wouldn’t go as far to call them agents I met several “Employees” of the CIA who came down from langley to Quantico to do “observation” on some of the training.
Their instructor was a retired OSS/CIA certified bad ass who had did some time as an observer with the French in Dien Bien Phu and was with the agency in Vietnam during the US’s time there.
The kids ( thats what they looked like to me) looked like average Americans in their mid 20s. There wasn’t a stud or a drop-dead georgeous chick among them.
They all were smart as hell and soft spoken. What I gathered from the instructor is they were all going to be data analylists and linguists riding desks at Langley.
That is really just a stereotype of analysts. To be honest, there are IOs who fit the “outgoing” image of the Directorate of Operations who are analysts at the Directorate of Intelligence. There are also smart/soft-spoken IOs who work in the Directorate of Operations when one would assume they work at the Directorate of Intelligence. Both can work undercover if they are sent overseas and the differences between them really are not that big. Officers in the DI or DO both spend a significant amount of time flying desks, that’s just the nature of the job. The ones who don’t are usually paramilitary officers, but they encompass only a tiny percentage of the CIA work force and all are former military, usually SOF.
I been tryin’ to figure why any alphabet soup agency would go anywhere near a recruit depot to look for bodies.
I mean, it’s hard to feature a group of more confused and useless individuals than any given cluster of recruits.
Proof of uselessness of recruits is the fact that it takes them at least one full calendar year to pull their heads out of their asses once they’re out of basic/boot.
But then, there’s them ones what think that upon graduation of basic/boot, the individual is “certified” to operate all military ships, planes, trains and automobiles such as tanks and whatnot. Which is also proof that while all recruits might be idiots, not all idiots are recruits.
Exactly. I had a friend who applied – active duty USMC 10 years, SSgt, honors bachelors degree, deployments out the wazoo, colored in the lines his whole life and an agency still wouldn’t take him. I suspect it had less to do with whether or not he was qualified to do the job and more to do with his previous public association to the community which could present cover problems if he worked as a covert employee. College kids without a military background are unremarkable, less jaded, and can be molded easier than somebody with a military career can.
The vast majority of CIA Employees would be people who have a background in the politics, language and customs of the region of interest. They also would probably never leave CONUS and simply look over data in a cubicle at Langley.
Indeed. And the ones overseas usually work a mundane embassy/business job as their cover while they recruit and bribe informants when not writing reports about those meets. A lot of people perceive case officers to be snake eaters or whatever but the reality is that it’s probably more dangerous to work as a collector or analyst in the military while deployed to a war zone than it is to be a CIA employee OCONUS. In 2010, military casualties have been twice as high as the CIA’s: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/spy-talk/2010/06/military_intelligence_casualti.html . I think people just perceive military intelligence to be “less cool” because they don’t get as many book deals.
Elite organizations were so impressed with my performance, while I was in the Delayed Entry Program, that they recruited me straight from the recruiter’s office. They told me that they normally recruit people out of basic, and that I was ahead of expectations. This is why I only have 20 days in the Texas National Guard. Officially, I was discharged. In reality, I was shipped to CIA/SEAL/Ranger/Special Forces/DELTA/SWAT/Eagle Scouts Super secret squirrel training.
It was during my hyper super duper secret missions with the CIA that I picked up my flying skills flying the C-130.
Cheese,
Dennis Howard Chevalier
Denny H Chevalier
*****BREAKING NEWS*****
Infidel Central®™ has hacked through and obtained Wayne Simmons’s tiptopseekritskwirrel codename, it’s DANGERMOUSE:
It has always amazed the hell out of me how easily most people are duped by professional grade CON MEN. Politicians and actors are born full of confidence, that is, at least to the public. Fact is they are born full of shit. Delusional, psychotic, absolutely packed with self confidence, these born liars spend their life presenting themselves as something they aren’t. Each year of living an extended lie they get better and better at hiding the truth. Think about politicians, don’t you see how there is some underlying falsehood in how they present? To stand in front of a public gathering and tell people eager to hear another lie about confidence…..”I am better than the person I am running against. Elect me and I’ll do the best job.” How can any sane person do that with a straight face? Obviously they are fu__ed up in the mind to begin with. Actors, on the other hand, they are so good at being someone they aren’t that they CONvince us they are in fact that other person. And they come off as 100% believable!
My point in all this blather is this idiot on this matter is just another charismatic actor who plays the self confident fame to the hilt and most people have bought it. Even the judge was “impressed” with this asshole’s charisma; in other words, the idiot was extremely believable……..after years of practice. Regardless as to how many years this psycho serves, he will be right back up there the day he gets out, spinning his tales to any and all who will listen.
A born liar such as this will NEVER change. He’s made a living putting himself in front of people he could read as gullible, and parlaying that weakness to his advantage. Look for him to begin writing a book about his many achievements while incarcerated. ‘Course he will NEVER mention the time he spent in prison. All I can say is Fuk this Foney.
Going to jail to hide his ultra secret training and exploits. That is real dedication.
Now I have to get back to…things. Don’t try and trace this. I’m using several servers to bounce my ISBN all over the planet.
Christmas in July. We have Danger Mouse and Secret Agent Man in the same thread. Here’s my contribution:
my job in the service of our country was so secret, I didn’t even know what it was and still don’t, 40 years later !!!!(sarcasm)
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