Tuesday morning feel good stories
Javier Martinez, knocked on a door and told the homeowner that he was stranded in Alexander, North Carolina. The homeowner brought him the phone. When Martinez was done, he pulled out a gun and attempted to rob the homeowner. The resident, disarmed him and held him for the police to come and take out the trash.
In Colerain Township, Ohio, Edwin Cardenas claims that after a few rounds of adult beverages, he went outside his uncle’s house to smoke a cigarette, when he tried to get back in the house, the door was locked. Turns out that it wasn’t his uncle’s house. After Edwin continued to bang on the door, he was met by the homeowner who showed Edwin his gun. That didn’t stop Edwin, so the homeowner shot him. Edwin is being treated for his wound.
33 year-old Noah Dassat forced his way into a home in North Port, Florida with a baseball bat and began beating on the occupants. The husband of the family got him in a bear hug and wrestled him to the ground. The wife then took his baseball bat and gave him a dose of his own medicine. Noah finally escaped leaving behind copious amounts of blood and a ball cap. Police found him later in his car. The mugshot should be a lesson for all of the kids out there;
Category: Feel Good Stories
No DRT’s or DOT’s but I would have to give the first defenders at least three Coconuts out of a possible five for what they did and on the third story a definite four Coconuts out of five for beating the shit out of that goblin with his own baseball bat. I bet he caught the shit he deserves to while in jail over that, the homeowners left him looking reeeeal cute! I wonder how he’ll explain that to Bubba, Thor, and the rest of his cellblock?
He just needs an ear ring and he can goes as a Pirate this Halloween.
Speaking of pirates,…
Q: How much was the pirate charging for his corn?
A: A buck an ear! Aaarrrgggh!
Very cheesy, NO COCONUTS FOR YOU!! ?? ??
, too early, not enough coffee.
His eye was popped out and he was skull fuked.
Someone will be making a booty call on that pirate.
I’m sure that Bubba & Thor will have fun with his ass every chance they get before sharing him with the cell block.
Aaarrrgh, be prepared to be boarded, matey.
The Mighty Noah struck out. Looks like he will be out for the rest of the season.
Maybe the Yankees should sign the lady in FL to a minor-league contract. She’s apparently got a helluva good swing.
And are we sure that the FL felon’s name isn’t actually spelled “Noah D’Asshat”? (smile)
If they really want to fuck Noah, appoint Daniel Bernath as his attorney.
Don’t think that will happen, Hack. According to the State Bar of CA, today begins either the fifth or tenth month of Daniel Alan Bernath being “Not eligible to practice law (Not Entitled)”. This status appears to be due to order of the State Bar Court of California.
Can he represent him “Pro Bozo”?
I’m surprised the goblin in the third story didn’t have a fractured jaw, as well as a few other additional skull dents. I’d have kept on swingin’ at such a low hanging “fruit” until “I” was tired.
So remember, boys and girls, if you want to defend yourself with a baseball bat, you can’t always depend on the perp to bring you one. But sometimes you get lucky…
Read the story on the last genius. Seems the guy that held him while his wife beat him with his own baseball bat said something like “thats how we roll down here”
Seeing the last one and how the homeowners went to town on him, I can’t help but think of the Trace Adkins song – Swing 😉