Don’t Try These At Home. Or Anywhere Else.

| May 5, 2016

Well, we have a couple of examples of “things not to do” today, courtesy of Fox News.

First:  do not engage in celebratory gunfire at a wedding.  (Or anywhere else, for that matter.)

Why?  Well, sometimes it doesn’t turn out all that well.

The guy survived, but I’m sure that his wedding night wasn’t exactly what he’d planned.  Police are reportedly investigating the incident.

Secondguns and “selfies” don’t mix.  Jonn’s written about this a couple of times before – here, and here – and warned everyone that’s not a good idea.  Looks like someone didn’t bother to listen.

Not picking on India today, these two stories just happened to both be about incidents occurring in that nation  And with a population approaching  one and one-third billion, the law of averages rather dictates you’ll see some spectacular stupidity from time to time.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", WTF?

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Instinct

Let’s not forget that in India they are also working on reanimating dead brain tissue.

Yep, they really want a zombie apocalypse, because this is how you get a zombie apocalypse.

http://www.iflscience.com/brain/biotech-company-use-stem-cells-reactivate-brains-dead

Sparks

Great, now I have to go buy more ammo for the Zombie Apocalypse. Remember, it’s head shots only.

The Other Whitey

Depends on the zombie. Personally, I prefer the “Zombieland” variety. Sure, they’re faster, but center-mass works fine. Besides, CARDIO!

http://youtu.be/IuJmV9bgjGY

OldCorpsTanker72

Seriously??? He put his seatbelt on???

The Other Whitey

The Zombieland rules of survival:
1: Cardio
2: The Double Tap
3: Beware of Bathrooms
4: Wear Seat Belts
5: No Attachments
6: The “Skillet”
7: Travel Light
8: Get a Kickass Partner
9: With your Bare Hands
10: Don’t Swing Low
11: Use Your Foot
12: Bounty Paper Towels
13: Shake it Off
14: Always carry a change of underwear
15: Bowling Ball
16: Opportunity Knocks
17: Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
18: Limber Up
19: Break it Up
20: It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
21: Avoid Strip Clubs
22: When in doubt Know your way out
23: Ziplock bags
24: Use your thumbs
25: Shoot First
26: A little sun screen never hurt anybody
27: Incoming!
28: Double-Knot your Shoes
29: The Buddy System
30: Pack your stain stick
31: Check the back seat
32: Enjoy the little things
33: Swiss army Knife

http://youtu.be/OI_JONTVVuE

Instinct

I go more for the “Left for Dead” variety of zombie myself.

JacktheJarhead

Here is a good idea, don’t screw around with loaded weapons! How hard is that to understand? If you have a firearm in the house, teach the kids safety. Dad dropped the ball on a number of counts.

Ex-PH2

Another loss to the gene pool.

Pinto Nag

Everybody that’s ever taken a selfie with a table saw or a belt sander, raise your hand.

I have a hard time feeling sorry for teh stoopid.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

India is a great example of what happens when a giant third world shithole tries to pretend it’s actually a first world nation…

It’s also a great cautionary tale of what could happen here if we continue to allow politicians who will sell us out to run the nation.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Hondo I sure hope you are right, but for now they intend to address the children of Howrah and other places by simply waiting, perhaps 25-50 years depending on which politician you talk to…

That’s a depressing reality, 7-14 year olds living on the streets sniffing glue to sleep and not feel hunger or cold, just waiting to die before they enter their late teens….

India is a prime example of what unfettered population growth coupled with soul crushing poverty will actually do to communities.

They are currently a great example of a society without any or very limited social safety nets…children dying by the thousands in the streets from hunger and exposure…because as long as some have theirs they don’t give a fuck about those who don’t. You can watch videos of people just walking by those kids as though they were invisible. Adult beggars I can almost understand ignoring to some degree, but a child starving in the street high as a kite…it takes a well trained society to pretend there’s nothing to see there. Or a society so impoverished it’s just another part of the background landscape.

So many of our fellow citizens don’t even realize they’ve already won the fucking lottery just by being born an American…you don’t see 10 year olds with glue rags collecting bottles while sucking on a glue rag and sleeping on a rice bag in the subway station, or worse lying dead on the sidewalk from exposure or starvation. Those are daily sights in India today.

I truly hope you are correct, I remain somewhat skeptical to be honest.

Jarhead

Wedding invitations read: Mr. And Mrs. _________ invite you to the wedding of their beautiful daughter____to the biggest asshole in India. Our innocent daughter is knocked up and suffering a bad case of gongereena, so it’s off to the alter while she can still fit in an expandable bridal dress. Please join us in this celebration. Any and all weapons are welcome, rentals available at the entrance if you need. Our reprobate future son-in-law has an imaginary bulls eye on his forehead. Two cows and a dozen chickens to the person coming closest.

JacktheJarhead

I work with a lot on Indians, I work in tech, and the overriding goal all of them have is to get here. I have Indian Colleagues who are constantly asking me to keep them in mind for US Positions. Once they get over here they have kids. The woman especially like it here, they can go out alone and not worry about being raped. My close co-worker has nothing but contempt for the corruption with the Indian system. He says you have to give “gifts” to any official to get anything done. I thank my grandparents and great-grandparents for coming to this country.

Semper Idem

In before our friend Larsie-poo lectures us about ‘cultural diversity’ and ‘tolerance’.

Lars, culture is one thing; stupidity is quite another. If these people just liked shooting guns at weddings, the least they could have done was aim those weapons at a backstop sturdy enough to withstand being hit by (presumably) thousands of rounds / shells in the course of several minutes. The fact that these souls were so reckless with firearms tells me that they shouldn’t own guns.

20thEB67

Appropriate time and place for a “Mad Minute”:

Perimeter of a firebase or base camp.

A wedding? Not so much.

Good grief!

richard

Life’s big events:

Birth
Marriage
Funeral

Combine and save time.