Jade Helm; they’re baaack

| March 31, 2016

One of our friends sent a link to the news that if you missed Jade Helm 15, the good news is that Jade Helm 16 is in the works;

I have learned from reliable sources that Jade Helm 16 is also about controlling the shipment of all food. If one thinks this sounds outrageous, stay tuned, because the circumstantial evidence clearly points in this direction.

I received this email on Friday, Feb. 5, 2016.

To the staff of The Common sense show:

My cousin is deployed in Army Spec. Ops at Ft. Bragg. He is going to be expected to take part in guerrilla warfare drills against rogue military forces. After arriving at Ft. Bragg, he was still permitted to leave the base. We live in Texas and drove to meet him. When we went to lunch. he had all of use leave our cell phones in the car and we walked a block to eat dinner. He said that they were beginning to receive briefings about taking on rogue military units in a guerrilla war scenario. He assumes they are American military units, but they were not told that when he was presented with their newly created training specs.

He has a role in this exercise, but I will not reveal the nature, as we do not identify him. He said he is being moved from Ft. Bragg to another base that has not yet been identified. He suspects that it is in the area because their deployment gear remains the same. He told us that he fears the drill could go live for many reasons…

[…]

Donald Trump has awakened millions of Americans to the tyranny that we have been living under for the past several decades. The decadence of our ruling class has grown to such a level that even the blind can see the heinous character flaws and devastating motives which underlies our ruling class.

[…]

Recent current events have demonstrated how the Obama administration is posturing to control the food supply with the
ultimate goal of regaining control of the American people and undoing the damage caused by Trump.

[…]

Jade Helm 16, with the assistance of foreign troops is training not only to arrest dissidents, subjugate rogue American military units who will not be on board with the increasing level of tyranny, they are also preparing to weaponize food as a means of political control in the face of the new American populism.

Yeah, I’m so sure that our special forces soldiers would be willing to participate in mass starvation of the American public. But, you know, now that you mention it, I could use a Snickers bar and there are none in my house. Only Trump and Obama could have caused that to happen.

Category: Dumbass Bullshit

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HMCS(FMF) ret.

Looks like something from the mind of Alex Jones. I’m still waiting for the invasion by ET and the Alien Anal Probing that I’m supposed to get because of the government conspiracy to provide fluoridation and pollute my essence and bodily fluids from contamination

Yes… I said Alien Anal Probe… POE… OPE… EIEIO!

Ex-PH2

Senior Chief, you have a severe anal fixation. You need to discuss things with your cat. I’ve found that cats are always good listeners.

HMCS(FMF) ret.

I sweat it every time I have to see the doc and they ask me to do a prostate exam… I don’t want no ET doing that stuff to me!

Now, Alex Jones, Bernastypants, DuLlAsS and other SV losers may like that stuff, but not me!

BTW, my cat (Eric, aka: Egyptian Cat God King RootinTootinTuttiFrutti) smacks me around on Wednesday and Saturday mornings demanding the appropriate sacrifice to him – sea food. I am just a lowly slave in his eyes…

Hondo

Yep. Dogs have owners; cats have staff.

Pinto Nag

For thousands of years, cats were worshipped as gods. The cats have never forgotten this.

Ex-PH2

Your doc wants you to look at his junk?

You might want to ask your cat’s doc (veternarian) what s/he would recommend.

Instinct

Yep, I went to the store the other day and because of the government controlling our food supply to starve us out I wasn’t able to get my wife the Tazo Earl Grey tea she likes!!! They didn’t have it!!! Conspiracy I tell you!!

HMCS(FMF) ret.

DA MAN IS HOLDIN’ YOU DOWN!!!!

Instinct

I would be out protesting, but I have to rake the backyard and build a sandbox.

B Woodman

D’OH!
(facepalm)
(shakes head)
(bangs head on workbench)
(bangs head on workbench)
(bangs head on workbench). . . . .

Will SOMEONE, ANYONE, please stop the world.
I want to get off of it, now.

Hondo

Remember, folks: Jade Helm – it’s just the tip of the Greene Weenie!

(Hat tip to another TAH commenter who first made that point on the original Jade Helm discussion.)

Skippy

Damn I have finally found my super duper Copper foil hat !!!!!!
It will protect me from all the voices and the green weenie 🙂
🙂
BHWHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

SFC D

Just make sure it’s properly grounded

Skippy

That’s what I forgot
No wonder why my head
Spins all the time with flashes

David

Hot damn, I’m gonna be a zillionnaire… just bought stock in Reynolds Aluminum so when all the waterheads change hats Jade Helm is gonna make me rich.

Wireman611

Thank you.

Silentium Est Aureum

Jeez, not this shit again!

Ex-PH2

How on Earth did they manage to spell ‘guerrilla’ correctly?

Well, now I understand why the price of chicken is dropping. They’re aiming at the henhouses again. I will go make chocolate mousse and meditate.

Instinct

mmmmmm…. chocolate mousse pie.

Now I have to make some. Thanks Ex-PH2.

rb325th

As stupid as the people are who buy into this crap are, it is amazing they can rub enough brain cells together to actually post on the internet about it.

19D2OR4-Smitty

Aww shit the E-4 mafia said it, so it must be real. They even let him leave the base on his OWN!

Anyone ever seen the comedy turned horror documentary called ‘Idiocracy’?

A Proud Infidel®™

Yeah, and I wonder if it isn’t a premonition?

nousdefions

‘Idiocrcy’ was not fiction, it is prophecy…..

John S.

I’m still waiting for the full service Starbucks to appear.

A Proud Infidel®™

So the tinfoil-heads are at it again, black helicopters, contrails, mind control,… What’s worse, tinfoil-heads, Bern-outs, or Hillarrhoids?

Blaster

Lars!

Instinct

Yep. Lars is like all of that with stupid sprinkles on top.

Stacy0311

Stock up on Reynolds Wrap before it’s all gone (again)

HMCS(FMF) ret.

No wonder I get all paranoid around Thanksgiving… I run out of Aluminum foil at that time of the year.

A Proud Infidel®™

Stock up HELL, I’m buying more stock in that company! ?

IDC SARC

An undisclosed number of my clones are participating in this endeavor.

Blaster

The indigenous ladies better beware ?

IDC SARC

Indeed since my patented cloning process involves bind my DNA to a spirochete.

IDC SARC

binding….dammit

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Dude, that’s TMI! We know that you be tappin’ more than the dudes that broke into the Watergate, but don’t be droppin’ no hints about your spirochetes. There may be some with sensitive eyes that can’t handle that stuff…

Ex-PH2

At least he didn’t mention waterbears.

You all do know that cats can’t see red, but they can see into the far UV spectrum, right? That proves that fairies are real. They tease my cat into chasing them and hang out on the wall, just out of his reach.

There has to be a UV-enhancement filter for my camera. Something inexpensive, hiding on the back shelf at Photo Central. I know there’s a secret password, too. I have it in my passcode book somewhere. I can never remember which page it’s on.

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Cats control the Interwebs… it’s a fact! I saw it on the ‘net…

Ex-PH2

I’m going to name my next cat Schrodinger and give him a box to hide in.

Pinto Nag

I wish I was still young enough for that thought to concern me… about the only thing they’d want from me would be warm cookies. *sigh*

Ex-PH2

Don’t worry. They probably like Moose Drool beer, too.

Pinto Nag

Lurker Curt

That sounded awfully wordy to me- here’s a short review…I like the damn beer!

Now I gotta go back inside…

Stacy0311

Moose Drool beer? Is that like Bear Whiz beer?

Blaster

I like warm cookies, and by like I mean love em. ?

Blaster

Great, just great. We won’t be able to buy a vegetable seed or bullet anywhere for another 6 months.

Preppin ain’t easy bro!

Ex-PH2

Pssst…. seeds are in the green racks at the Hardware store. I’ve seen ’em. You’d better hurry because all those aliens will get there ahead of you.

Martinjmpr

If you don’t already have at least a six-month stockpile of bullets and seeds you aren’t a real prepper anyway. 😛

Blaster

But you have to rotate your stock!

nbcguy54ACTUAL

If I rotate my stock, the bullets will come out upside down…

Blaster

Those bullets are for the other side?

nbcguy54ACTUAL

Duh!

Thanks Blaster.

Ex-PH2

Just put your stock in the shelves on the spinning seed display, and spin it slowly.

If you spin it too fast, they’ll have children. They’ll be all mixed up about who they are.

Pinto Nag

Huh. I’m stocking up on arrows, rawhide, and sinew. (I already have three bows with extra strings for them).

Did you know that one of the best primitive arrowheads out there is SHARK TEETH? No sh*t. Get on YouTube if you don’t believe me — look at the videos on comparisons between stone, bone, and steel ‘heads. Crazy.

Blaster

Do you realize how hard it’s gonna be to carry a pair of pliers hooked to my speedo while I’m swimming in the ocean looking for sharks? And they don’t cooperate very well when you pull their teeth.

HMCS(FMF) ret.

DA MAN IS HOLDIN’ ME DOWN!!!

Pinto Nag

Serious question: What do you expect the American public to believe about military loyalty after eight years of Obama? It appears that the military will do what they’re told to do by whoever is in charge, and so the conclusion is that that will include whatever they are told to do with and to the American public. For those people that buy into conspiracy theories, you’d be hard-pressed to poke any holes in this one.

nbcguy54ACTUAL

They are BORG. They will assimilate. ..

Green Thumb

As long as they secure the pork chop sandwiches….

Sapper3307

Is it time for Ventura (non-combat)to go the grid(his rockers) again. Another layer on tinfoil on his head and its off to the rodeo.

Poetrooper

You guys can laugh all you want to, but why is it every time ol’ Poe finds something he really likes at Walmart, they soon discontinue it?

Every…frickin’…time!

Now if that isn’t a conspiracy to control the food sources…

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Quaker Oats Chocolate chip instant oatmeal… had it in the stores in my AO for one winter and now I can’t find it anywhere!

DA MAN IS HOLDIN’ ME DOWN!

Ex-PH2

Pledge Grab-It dustcloths. Bought a supply, used them, now they’re discontinued.

Pinto Nag

Try the Swiffer dry refills. I like the lemon scent, but that’s just me.

Ex-PH2

It’s a conspiracy. Toilet paper is next.

Hack Stone

And how come Costco stopped carrying the sourdough bread? And the tomato bisque soup. They replaced the tomato bisque with some tomato/pepper soup that sucks.

Marine_7002

YGBSM.

Silentium Est Aureum

Meanwhile, over at Infowars and Veterans Today:

https://youtu.be/TPMS6tGOACo

El Bearsidente

Come on, let’s write it Jade Helm XVI for real epicness.

Reaperman

Why would the government have to bother with the food supply if their chemtrails, mind control radio frequencies, fluoride treatments, and vaccinations were working so well?

jonp

Everyone said The Holocaust couldn’t happen either. Keep whistling past the graveyard and thinking your government cares about you.

D

Everyone said that?

Just An Old Dog

If you really want to fuck with the Tin Hat Loons name the next one Jade Helm XX.
They will go bat-shit wondering what happened with Jade Helm XVII-XIX

Ex-PH2

Oh, I’m already there. In fact, I’m past it. I’m embedded in Jade Helm XXX.

nbcguy54ACTUAL

Ex-PH2 – we never knew about your pern career….

Ex-PH2

I promised Russ Meyers I’d never tell any tall tales when I turned down his offer.

nbcguy54ACTUAL

Brownchickenbrowncow…..

Hack Stone

A common sight in Australia was quite a few buildings with big signs reading XXXX. My first thought was they sure do love their porn down under. Turns out to be a beer. A mighty good beer.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castlemaine_XXXX

nbcguy54ACTUAL

In chemical weapons demil our decon levels were X, XXX, and XXXXX.

Used to have a lot of fun with that…

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