Oopsie.
It seems as if there was a bit of a gaffe recently at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson, Alaska.
The Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (SAPR) office there distributes occasional promotional items. One of the items it recently distributed was lip balm.
Unfortunately, no one checked the ingredients before ordering the lip balm. I can’t say I blame them; unless it’s from a questionable source like a “head shop”, I probably wouldn’t think to check the ingredients on lip balm either.
Well, in this case it turns out they should have. The lip balm Elmendorf SAPR office purchased contained hemp seed oil – and thus trace amounts of THC. Products containing hemp seed oil are banned on DoD installations.
Oops.
JBER public affairs officials have emailed base personnel asking them to trash any tubes of lip balm they received from the base’s SAPR office.
Category: Military issues, Who knows
BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
I Swear only in the army Lol….
…No, no…only My Beloved Service would do something this dumb. Years ago I remember when we got a panicked message from On High telling us to no longer handle or ESPECIALLY burn certain wooden pallets the USAF had bought for handling munitions. Seems they’d been sprayed with a preservative that contained PCP.
Yes, THAT PCP.
Mike
absolutely crazy 🙂
I wonder how many people pissed hot because of the lip balm 🙂
Once the story breaks, I guess the answer will be “all of them.” Now we just need a careful psychologists’ study (like the ones they use in sex assault) based on “taking the patient’s word for it.” And we will find that of all the persons who pissed hot for marijuana,
38% were just at this party, man, and they ate these brownies, and they didn’t know what was in those brownies;
33% went to this concert, man, and the air was just full of smoke, and, like, they didn’t smoke it but they inhaled all this secondhand smoke and that’s how they pissed hot.
27% went to the SAPR office to learn more about sex assault, man, so they could learn to combat this terrible problem in the Armed Forces, and they got this lip balm, and they didn’t know there was THC in it. And they licked their lips a whole lot.
And 2% smoked weed to get high.
Supposedly the lip balm “did not contain enough THC to register on a drug test”. But yeah, dollars-to-doughnuts that someone (and probably multiple someones) will claim that’s why they “p!ssed hot”.
Supposedly secondhand smoke isn’t going to give you enough THC to piss hot either (before it kills you from asphyxiation), but it’s a perennial favorite.
At least it’s more entertaining than, “I read on the internet somewhere that my prescription drugs could make me fail the test,” and for a little while it will be more original than the old, “This stripper put this white powder on her private parts and I thought it was sugar and by the time I licked it off it was too late..”
I think I’ve relayed this before (CRS is bad today) but I had a young private that popped hot repeatedly for marijuana and then marijuana and cocaine. His defense at the court martial? “I shouldn’t be charged with cocaine use because I didn’t know it was in the marijuana when I smoked it”.
Was that supplied by Woody Harrelson?
Hey Mike, Maybe the Air Farce thought that could help them fly higher? As for this lovely little Army bit, maybe someone thought it could help someone else bullshit their way out of getting “popped” on a piss test?
Well, you just know that somewhere some rocket surgeon is attempting to re-engineer their bong to accept high capacity magazines of Chapstick.
Not to mention dumpster diving for all the throwaways.
The policies and laws against marijuana are ridiculous, and their repeal are long overdue.
If you ever watched Dragnet, you wouldn’t say that.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4tnLbaIHUUg
Or if he’d ever seen Reefer Madness. (smile)
Great, now I’m going to spend the rest of the day watching Dragnet. Thanks for that.!
Then take it up with you Congressman. Or someone who cares. Neither of whom you will find here.
They decriminalized marijuana in the District of Columbia, so everything should be unicorns, skittles and rainbows, right? Not so fast. They just move on to another illicit drug.
http://www.fox5dc.com/news/2251265-story
LARS, there is no way that people can say you don’t have anything. YOU DO HAVE copious amounts of inferiority!!
YOU ARE TRULY THE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO, making people dislike and laugh at you!!! 😀
Mike Rowe would disagree with you.
Then again, toke away. The smaller the pool of clean applicants employers can choose from, the higher my already pretty damn good pay goes. And I’m already working 60-70 hours a week, to boot.
Arguable. And also irrelevant.
Until the law is changed, it remains the law. And until DoD policy is changed, it remains DoD policy. Last time I checked, compliance with either wasn’t optional.
You do remember how to comply with policy and obey orders, right? Both are at times inconvenient, but they kinda come with the territory while wearing the uniform.
Lars,
Merry Fuckin’ Christmas!
You are a moron.
I hope you get caught at a dirty job with Mike Rowe and he uses you to clean it up!
MCPO
PS: Happy New year too!
HEY LARS, one more bit of advice – just let your hair grow out a little more, get your slobbering under control AND NOBODY will know you’ve had a lobotomy!! 😀
So, mass handouts of goodies for advertising and such is in the budget of these SJW subunits?
The destructionist drive to remove the potential for successful warfighting from our Big 3 military branches is nearly complete.
But apparently there’s no funding for funeral honor guards…
They should hand them over to All-Points Logistics.
They will be digging this.
Is the lip balm supposed to be applied before or after sex?
And where?
😉
The VA will be publishing a report on contaminated lip balm for those who served in Alaska in about 10 years.
Everyone knows it causes cancer, diabetes, tinnitus, swelling of the mammary glands in men, loss of short term memory, and several other things I can’t remember at the moment.
It seems to me that excessively chapped lips might be a deterrent to sexual assault. It appears that they are unwittingly enabling sexual assaults by providing unchapped well lubricated moist lips to people who would have been unnoticed chapped and dry.
Personally I like a little chapping but dry is out of the question.
I’d laugh if it wasn’t so true
Don’t forget back pain, anxiety, sleep apnea, and erectile dysfunction.
GO CHAIRBORNE!!