John Branom Smith; phony MIA, phony Special Forces
Someone sent us a link to an article about this character, John Branom Smith, who told Tulsa World about his time in Vietnam;
Someone put the 18-year-old “Green Beret” out on a observation post 10 miles from his base, all by himself and he got lost in a fog. For some reason a helicopter was supposed to pick him up, but the fog prevented it. So, he E&E’d (Escape and Evasion) from the Viet Cong for 90 days until he found a road 60 miles in the wrong direction from where he started and hitch hiked back to his base. Then he finished his 21-year career at Fort Hood, Texas. Amazing story, huh?
Well, the truth is that he did two years in Army, one of them in Vietnam as a grunt – he earned a CIB and an ARCOM and made it to Specialist E-4. After two years, he transferred to the Reserves. Then he joined the Navy, but that only lasted five or six months. But, still, he had an honorable career in Vietnam, according to his records. He went straight from his infantry training at Fort Knox, Kentucky to Vietnam – a much better story than the one he told. I guess the truth wasn’t good enough;
At the link to the story above, Tulsa World is trying to get in touch with Mr. Smith to ask him questions about his article. Now they don’t have to. I don’t explain ’em, I just report on ’em.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
The Dutch Rudder Club has been growing at a breakneck pace, lately.
I used to put my LP/OPs in an area where I could cover their withdrawal with SAF from the PB, and I’m pretty sure that my TA-312s didn’t come with 10 miles of spooled wire, but what do I know.
splices baby…. splices. And roll upon roll of high speed tape.
Ball bearings… it’s all about ball bearings…
Oh. Hell Yeah. It’s so easy to lay 10 miles of WD-1 from a helicopter. We did it as a matter of routine almost every other day.
All you need is either four each DR-5’s or 10 each RL-159’s. Then fly, stop and hover while splicing, then fly, splice, etc. etc. until you reach the OP.
That’s where the old saying of “I’d crawl through 10 miles of broken glass just to hear her fart over a field phone” came from.
It was easy, so simple even a cave man could do it.
That’s a lot of RL-159 cable. LOL!
How would you like to be the asshole they sent out there to roll it back up?
Dammit! Where are the spare BA-30’s?
Dunno. Check the Colonel’s and Sergeant Major’s flashlights. I bet they have some extras just laying around.
Or better yet, check with the S-5 guy. I know he’s got plenty of them stashed.
Nah, those flashlights would be filled with BA-3030s. (smile)
Yep, nothing but the best updated alkaline technology batteries for the CSM/COL’s flashlights. The line grunts get to deplete the new old stock of batteries left over from Vietnam.
But back in olden times, when the Army was still riding around on dinosaurs and mules, the BA-3030 was known as a just plain old BA-30.
Not sure when the number change occurred. Maybe about the time that the DOD supply system converted from Federal Stock Numbers to National Stock Numbers cause we ran out of numbers. That was in either 1975 or 1976 if memory serves. (Smile)
Can’t say when the BA-3030 entered the inventory. But it was definitely distinct from the BA-30. Believe it was originally introduced for Arctic service (better low-temp performance), but I’m not positive.
Both were D-cells. However, the BA-30 was zinc-carbon (today’s “heavy duty” battery); the BA-3030 was indeed alkaline.
And just to throw a little more confusion into the mix:
In the old Navy, the Army’s “D” cell sized battery was known as a “Type C” battery.
Intra-Service nomenclatures will bollix up the works every time.
That is because the Navy is the C-going service.
Don’t forget to get some PRC-E8 from the First Sergeant.
I had totally forgotton about those spools of wire, lol. Cutting edge technology, those BA312s, cutting edge.
Could any of you speak English? Or do you only know Alphanumeric?
Did I tell you twinks I used to use an 18W, and now I’ve changed over to a 16R? Sometimes, I can even squeeze in a 14S, too.
No? Awww, shucks!
PH2, in plan terms a field telephone that uses ground wire or cable. They can be sound powered but the best way is bat’s. What they are saying is laying wire out to 10 mile’s can be done hut hard to do. The other big thing if you do that and can’t keep an eye on or check the cable the bad guy can splice in and listen. I hope that is plan text for you. I’m ok with Army speak but being a Navy ground guy we use the same stuff.
Claw broke it down pretty good.
Yes we can. Here it is in Army Commo Speak:
TA-312: Cranked field telephone
WD-1: Black telephone wire
DR-5: A big (and I mean BIG) reel of WD-1. This reel has 2.5 miles of wire on it, weighs as much as the forklift you would need to load/unload it from a tractor trailer.
RL-159: Contains one mile of WD-1 commo wire (still a fairly big reel, most of the time the commo wire is laid from a RL-39 reel which holds a quarter mile of wire.)
BA-30: common “D” cell flashlight battery used in the TA-312 field phone.
EX, Did you know a 16R (Vulcan ADA Crewman) most often was called a “Gun Bunny”?
Hope this helped.
Actually, I don’t think the DR-5’s were ever moved again once they were set on the ground. Only the highest levels of Signal outfits would have them and the RL-159’s and RL-39’s were refilled off of them.
I never was in a Signal outfit, but I’m sure sj as a Signal Officer would know a lot more about them than I would.
And there is also a DR-8 involved in this too.
The DR-8 contained one third of a mile of WD-1 wire and was most commonly used by the down to ground units.
The RL-39 is the hand held reeling machine used to both lay and then pick back up the WD-1 wire.
Is the DR8 the canvas bag with a spool of slash wire?
If you want to get real old school, how about a TA-1?
The DR-8 could have a bag associated with it. Most of the time I only ever monkeyed around with an RL-39 for my M577 track and the commo guys always set up the TA-312’s and drug the wires around.
As for the TA-1, no experience with those at all. Actually never heard of nor seen one.
TA-1 is good for a defensive Gun loop is ok for an OP but TA-312 is better.
TA-1/PT … sound powered field phone. The units I was in used them. Concur that the TA-312/PT was better.
No, I did not know any of that. Thank you all for enlightening me. I can see that, for some of my stories to be even more mysterious, I will be more authentic if I concoct a compendium of confusing codespeak.
I shall get to work on it.
Wonder if he ran into SLuUrPpQueEFf41 while he was out wandering around the jungle?
Probably did… they slurped down many, many bowls of Cream of Sum Yung Guy soup made by Lon Duc Dong…
Wow… a “Mike Johnson” and a “John Smith” taken down in the same day. What are the odds of that considering that Muslims increase in population at the rate of 400 million per very 12 hours (give or take).
Think yer math on population increase may be a touch off, amigo. (smile)
You should meet my sources. Que loco!
Is that a figure Lar’s came up with?
At 10:48 PM EST 14NOV Lars posted the world population of Muslims to be 1.2 Billion.
The following morning, Jonn posted a quote from Slate Magazine that the world population of Muslims was 1.6 Billion.
Lars is never wrong. Slate Mag is never wrong. Therefore it follows…
No ducks required.
wait Lol…. the Clinton News Network is on record saying 2 billion! ! !
but we know how bad that data is Lol…
From what I can read of his 2-1 (and I have made mistakes before) he was assigned to D-Troop, 7/1 Air Cav Squadron from 12OCT1970 to 30OCT1971.
From the 7/1 Air Cav website http://www.1stavnbde.com/7_1st/7_1st_Air_Cavalry.htm
Here is an article about a D-Troop mission from Fall of 1970. http://www.1stavnbde.com/Artcles/7_1p1.htm
Yep, nothing wrong with his service record.
Fort Knox Basic, then down to Fort Polk for 11B AIT, then off to RVN for a tour.
Completed the tour with an ARCOM, no reportable wounds that required a Purple Heart (take note posers and embellishers,you can go through a tour and not get a PH), then back to Fort Hood (unit move?) for his remaining time on active duty.
All perfectly good and honorable. Up until the point now when he starts telling stories about having to hitch-hike his ass back 60 miles on a water buffalo to base camp after being left in the “fog” to die.
Dumbass.
Claw, were you ever around the Red Cross? The only time I ran across them was one day with a small element of 173rd Airborne when they flew a Huey in with about six round-eyed Red Cross ladies for a short meet-and-greet session. No coffee, no donuts, apparently they had instructions not to feed the animals. After about 10 minutes, they flew away again, and everybody’s reaction was sort of what was that about?
Nope, never around someplace where there might have been a Red Cross element.
I “think” I saw a Donut Dollie one day clear across (half mile away) the Phu Bai airstrip over by the 85th Evac Hospital. That was about the closest I ever got to seeing a roundeye while I was there. But it could have been a male nurse in drag for all I know.
Anne Margaret and Raquel Welch stories are always welcome.
Claw…….can’t remember if I told you the donut story or not. Anyway, back in the day operating out of Phu Loi, one of our pilots came into our mess hall needing crew for a flight. So I went. Turns out, he needed crew for a flight to pick of a Red Cross gal. We picked her up, brought her back to Phu Loi. On the way back she pops a bottle of Champaine, passes it back to me in a Red Cross cup. Turns out our pilot picked her up so she could spend the night with our pilot. Totally unauthorized flight. big trouble if he had been caught. Gotta love those fly boys, right?
Oh, Yeah, those pilots always got all the round-eye chicks. Don’t believe it? Just ask a pilot, he’ll tell you the truth every time.
Upon reflection, I guess I did see a couple of round-eye gals (although from a pretty far distance) when some of us were able to go to the Bob Hope Christmas show at Camp Eagle in late December 1971. Not sure who was all in the show that year, I just know we didn’t have to fly any missions that day. Rode from Phu Bai over to Eagle in the back of a 3/4 Ton. Whoo-Hoo, road trip.
A little research reveals that the “stars” for Bob’s show at Camp Eagle were Jim Nabors, Vida Blue, and maybe? Lola Falana.
Guess that’s why I don’t have any slap me in the face memories of the show.
Claw…..from Dec. 5th 1971 to Jan. 16th 1972 I was assigned as a rifleman with Company D 2nd Battalion 327th Infantry Regiment deployed somewhere around Phu Boi. I could have gone to that same show. I instead just laid around and duffed the whole day.
Being a Navy type I am not full on with all Army Stuff, but from what you GB’s and Rangers have said. Is not Land Nav part of Ranger School the hardest section and a must pass. So a GB getting lost in the fog? Then being stupid enough to actually admit it in public????
Not if you get to walk it 10 times before test day.
SHHH, That part was not supposed to get out. It was superior skill and the Hand of God that got them thru.
It was an equal test for all, just some are more equal than others.
My ANCOC class had E-7(P)s who failed because they couldn’t pass the LandNav course (you know the one – with well-worn trails from point to point).
I guess no one was banging on the point with a stick.
Or dumping juice from a chem light on them.
Sing along if you know it “Strangers in the night, exchanging azimuths… Pray they get it right, they’ve been lost for hours”.
Well, you know what they say:
“Half the homeless population of the United States are Second Lieutenants that got lost on the LandNav Course.”
Claw, thanks for making my day!
Tony, I’m adding that to my repetoire, thanks!
And don’t forget, you can’t shoot azimuths; they are too small and move too quick.
2nd Lieutenants? My unit patch was, “Twelve 2nd Lieutenants pointing north”!
I cannot believe the article has a picture of Lee Roy Selmon on the same page as this maggot.
Dirtbag.
I wonder if he had his taint tickled while hitch hiking?
I know Lars has.
Yup he’s legit. First thing they teach you in SERE is hitch hiking skills / walking on roads.
He obviously slept through the “Flaming Squirrels in Treetops as Signal Flares” class in the SERE course.
All you have to do is wait for the fog to clear, send up a few squirrels, and Presto, you’re rescued. No hitch-hiking via water buffalo required.
LMFAO!!
For some of the newer visitors that may not get the “flaming squirrel” reference: http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=38023
Hack, thanks for enlightening me. Really good advice there. Flaming squirrel! Sheer artistry!
Actually, it was John “Not My Real Name” Stark‘s idea to use flaming squirrels has a signalling device.
And my sides are in godddamn orbit. Houston, we have a problem.
Actually catching the squirrel is not the problem.
Catching the two chipmunks that are rubbed together to make the fire needed to set the signal squirrel aflame is the hardest part of the whole exercise.
Them little SOB’s are really fast, as in Flash fast.
Can’t you ignore the squirrels with fire ants?
Well, I hope you meant “ignite” the squirrels with fire ants. I guess you could, but I try to avoid fire ants at all costs.
With so many possibilities here for squirrel ignition, I almost wish I could have attended “The Stunning Agency” SERE course instead of just winging it the last time I got lost in a fog.
way to FLUSH a good service record down the toilet
I think you are all TW12s. No spikka da nummercodes. Need translator bot. Send. Hurry.
Field phones and wire.OP/LP Observation Post, Look, listen and report back.
This Dumb ass couldn’t make it in the Navy. Looks like he joined then they sent him to a SeeBee Battalion NCB62(Gulf port, MS)as Undesignated striker no MOS. I would like to see his Navy paper work I bet he got booted on a other than discharge.
Sorry meant MCB they are now NMCB and it looks like he didn’t even do one deployment back then they did 7&7 7 months out and 7 months in.
The dumbassed fuckbucket of an inbred Swamp Donkey had plenty to be proud of BUT NOOOOO, he just had to open his yap to shit all over it, himself and his reputation, Fa’ kheem!!
Look’s like his Army stuff was good to go until the lie, but I think something is up with his Navy Services. That is always the thing they fucked up some were in life so they fabricate a new life fro them selves.
Is this guy Chuck Norris’ love child?
I looked at the images and yep! it said Specialist Four.
Now. .. I’m wondering. . . if I remember correctly, the infantry branch promoted up through the leadership ranks (Cpl), as opposed to the non-leadership ranks (Spec 4). What happened?
Nothing bad happened. Lots and lots of Spec4 11B’s in Vietnam.
Automatic promotion from PFC to Spec4 for just about everybody regardless of MOS. An individual had to be truly outstanding to do the PFC E-3 to Corporal E-4 routine.
Most of the honest to God card carrying Corporals I ever saw (which were not many) were either FA Gun Chiefs or MP’s.
Kam Sam Ne Dah. (Thank you – Korean)
I was just a humble 31E Field Radio Repairer in support of same Infantry at several of my assignments.
Trying to remember. . .. I went from PFC/E3 to SPC4/E4. Now, I think I then went to SGT/E5, I don’t remember doing the SPC5. But then again. . . .
And I definitely went to SSG/E6, never did the SPC6 thing, that was phased out by then.
I went from SP4 to SP5 and stayed a SP5 for six years before I made SSG.
On the other hand my brother alternated between SSG and SP6. He was a 91B/C medic and depending on what type of unit he was assigned to, could be either one or the other. If he was in,say a Battlefield Clearing Company as a Platoon Sergeant, he wore SSG stripes. But when he was assigned to a dispensary or as a hospital ward master, he wore SP6 stripes.
Would depend on career field and when you made E5. SP4 stayed around a loooong time. SP5 and SP6 went away in the mid-1980s (1986). When that happened, SP4 became SPC.
SP7 (mostly band and med/dental, but maybe a few other MOSs as well) went away in the late-1970s (1978). SP8 and SP9 technically existed on paper at one time, but it’s doubtful that anyone ever actually was promoted to those ranks. Reportedly they were discontinued when CSM was created in the late 1960s.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Specialist_%28rank%29
Another reporter who failed math (and geography): ‘17,000 miles from home at age 18’
Yep. Since the earth’s circumference is 24,902 mi at the equator, barring leaving the planet it’s kinda hard to be any farther away from any point on earth than approx 12,451 miles.
Although this isn’t my favorite song of his, I won’t pass up an opportunity to share some Joe Ely –
A one man OP 10 miles out with no communications capability, and the only way out is by helo.
Yeah, I believe that.
Only if “Ranger” Burrell was his backup.
I know I would want the “Fourth Most Dangerous Man in the World” as my backup.
I’m still waiting for the sequel to Weekend At Rita’s.
Just how many Special Forcer Blokes got lost in Vietnam walking around in a fog??? Like our S.A.S, we had some thing in the order of 4 or 5 thousand troopers over there. about 4.800 more then the administration knew they had at any one time.
It just dawned on me.
This turd could be Rowdy Anderson’s dad.
Wow ! Almost as good a story as the time US Black opp’s sent me to the secret underground base at Dulce, NM where i was to find the reptilian leader and assassinate him. Where i single handily wiped out a company of the aliens along with 2 of their saucers. They couldn’t put it on my 214 though because it was a top secret mission. But I was made an honorary General. Yep those were the good old days.
“Nurse….Nurse Rachet…is it time for my pills yet?