From the Beginning: A Musical Impression

Longtime readers know I’m rather into music.  And longtime readers know that I’m also into musical parody.

Yeah, I’m about to ramble again somewhat – both ways.  You’ve been warned.  (smile)

. . .

A couple of months back, I posted a short musical parody. At the time it seemed to be relatively well-received. (Smile)

But it turns out that that was only half the job; it was based only on a short portion of a longer work. So I decided to go back and finish the job.

I hate to speak for others. But this time I’ll go out on a limb and say that I can’t help but think that the sentiment in the first few verses below – or something damned similar – was on Jonn’s mind a few years ago when he founded TAH with TSO and COB.  And I’m guessing B. G. Burkett felt much the same 17 years ago when he and Glenna Whitley wrote Stolen Valor.

[As an aside: if you’ve never read Burkett and Whitley’s book . . . you should go get a copy and read it.  Today.  It brought the issue of stolen valor to the forefront after Vietnam, and demonstrated just how widespread and serious it  was.  Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.]

OK, enough intro blather.  With appropriate apologies to Greg Lake, here ya go – the complete

 

Clown Central 69 (TAH Impression)

 

Cold and misty morning, I heard disturbing rumors in the air
Concerning lying bastards about whose lies no one did seem to care;
Of true heroes ignored, their honor now purloined, just taken cold
Their valor being stolen by packs of lowlife jackals damn bold.
Liars here,
Liars there,
They’re everywhere.

Suffering in silence, good men are betrayed;
Lies hurt them and steal from them, their honor now waylaid.
Liars obtain false glory a dishonorable way.
There is no damn excuse this game to play.
Liars here,
Liars there;
They’re everywhere!

It’s time that someone exposed their lies,
Made sure their tall tales just don’t fly;
Helped those who truly rate kudos
And tore those liars some new a-hos.
We agree,
We agree,
We agree!  Yeah

Expose them?
Expose them . . .
Yes, expose them!
They’ll know some sorrow.
They’ll beg and borrow.
Start tomorrow.

. . .

Step inside, HELLO!  It’s the Stolen Valor show,
You’ll enjoy it all we know.
Step inside! Step inside!

You’ll see lies that will appall, sh!tbird bastards with no balls
Then you’ll see their just downfalls.
Come inside! Come inside!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

While they tell lies in bars their world gets knocked ajar
Proven liars wide and far.
Spectacular! Spectacular!

Now come follow me, here’s today’s specialty
Fresh poser tears you’ll see
Misery, misery.
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Next to feel the flame in Jonn’s house of poser shame
Who’s that liar truly lame?
Pick a name! Pick a name!

Watch that fake hero as he blusters and he blows,
Then he tucks his tail and goes.
Hurrah, bravo! Hurrah, bravo!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

. . .

Welcome back my friends, it’s the show that never ends.
We’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside!
There behind the glass stands one more repeat jackass
Smack full of BS gas, move along, move along!

Come inside, the show’s about to start,
Guaranteed to pick their lies apart!
Rest assured you’ll get your money’s worth
Bullsh!t tales ’bout Heaven, Hell and Earth!
You’ve got to see the show, there’s some real a-hos!
You’ve got to see the show, posers a-go-go!

Right before your eyes you’ll watch the posers lie
They’ll keep lyin’ till they die, till they die, till they die.

Come inside, their lies pack quite a punch
Guaranteed to make you wanna lose your lunch!
You’ve got to see the show, here’s a real wacko
You’ve got to see the show, poser rodeo, oh . . . .

Soon the ARCOM Queen behind an on-line screen
Will tell us we’re so mean – while Falconing, Blue Falconing.
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
To the “great” Dutch Rudder Band, Dixieland, Dixieland.

Roll up, roll up, roll up!
See the show!

Performing on a stool we’ve a sight to make you drool
Purple jumpsuit wearing fool (WhAt A tOoL, WhAt A tOoL).
We would like it to be known that the shady tales we’ve shown
Were exclusively their own, all their own, all their own!

Come and see the show, come and see the show,
Come and see the show!

See the show!

 

For those having a bit of trouble following along with the first part, here’s a clip of the full tune on which it’s based.  It’s ELP’s Karn Evil No 9 (1st Impression), from their 1973 album “Brain Salad Surgery”. The complete work is about 13 1/2 minutes, and includes several fairly extended instrumental interludes.

The tune was part of a larger work:  Karn Evil No 9, which contained 3 sub-works:  1st Impression, 2nd Impression, and 3rd Impression.  The total work was over 29 minutes long.

Because of it’s length and the album’s sequencing, 1st Impression was split on the original vinyl album into 2 parts; Part 1 was at the end of side 1, while part 2 began side 2.  Only the last roughly 4:43 – part 2, containing one of the instrumental interludes – generally got much airplay.

So if you haven’t ever heard the whole 1st Impression (or if it’s been a while), grab a good set of headphones, crank up the volume, and enjoy.  If you enjoy music of that era and genre, it’s definitely worth the time.

 

Category: Pointless blather, Who knows