Captain Carl Dale; Canadian Phony

I guess our colder northern cousins (well not this month, they’re probably warmer than me this morning) are little bit miffed at this fellow. He claims that most of his service time was spent advising US troops, because, you know, we ain’t that bright and there aren’t enough Americans who can teach things like jumping from aircraft and flying helicopters. And he’s so cool that he’s a sniper helicopter pilot. I think I’d walk into battle if I knew my pilot was going to be firing his .50 cal. sniper rifle when he was supposed to be, um, piloting. But this one came from Scotty who got an email about Derring-do Dale here;

1. He claims to have served in the Canadian military, but when challenged, he states that nobody has heard of him in the Canadian military because he was “on loan” to the US 101st Airborne and served with them for most of his term of service.

2. he claims to be a sniper, and wears the patches on his CAV vest, but two instructors who have served with the Canadian military for years have never heard of him

3. Last year he claimed to be serving under a “Queen’s Order” and was on loan to the US Military, assisting a Colonel Baker at 29 Palms with a top secret plan to conduct an air drop into a country “overseas” (by the way…he could tell me it was Pakistan…wink, wink)

4. He claimed that Colonel Baker was sending him top secret satellite photos for his review on his email account (an unsecured internet connection that he was pirating from his neighbor)

5. He often can be seen around town wearing a captain’s uniform, and at one point claimed to have been promoted and was, for a few weeks, wearing a major’s uniform, only to return to the captain’s uniform

6. He claimed that Colonel Baker sent a Blackhawk helicopter to Trenton to pick him up for an airdrop over 29 Palms — he was acting as an instructor to the US paratroopers (cause the US doesn’t have anyone who could do that). He told five people in Kingston that he left at 0700 hours, that it took two hours to get there, they did the drop, and he was home by 7:00 p.m.. When he was asked how he could be in California in two hours, he replied that Blackhawks are really fast and that they don’t have to fly on commercial air routes.

7. he claims that his first mission involved crawling on his belly for three days to get into position to snipe a “foreign general” in some unknown country, that he was not expected to return from the mission but that he did his job and he was a hero

8. He told everyone he was away for deployment last year on the aforementioned drop into Pakistan — either he is the biggest security risk that the Canadian/US military has ever encountered or he is, as we all now know, a pathological liar.

9. He also claims to have swiped a 50 caliber sniper rifle that he has hidden at his father’s home at Presqu’ile

10. He now works as a general contractor in Kingston and claims to be a licensed electrician, licensed plumber, licensed pipe-fitter and journeyman carpenter — he does not hold licenses in any of these fields that anyone can verify.

Well, the fact that he served with the US forces explains why most of the medals he’s wearing are US. He even has a CIB;

But, the Canadians at Commando.org are pretty upset about him, and I guess they’d know better than me about him.

Category: Phony soldiers