Seems plausible

| May 22, 2013

Everything is coming up Lilyea;

Federal Bureau of Investigation
Intelligence Field Unit J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C.

URGENT ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY

WE SINCERELY APOLOGIZED FOR SENDING YOU THIS SENSITIVE INFORMATION VIA E-MAIL INSTEAD OF A CERTIFIED MAIL, POST-MAIL, PHONE OR FACE TO FACE CONVERSATION, IT IS DUE TO THE URGENCY AND IMPORTANCE OF THE SECURITY INFORMATION OF OUR CITIZENRY, I AM SPECIAL AGENT JOHN EDWARD FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) INTELLIGENCE UNIT, WE HAVE JUST INTERCEPTED AND CONFISCATED TWO (2) TRUNK BOX AT JFK AIRPORT IN NEW YORK, AND ARE ON THE VERGE OF MOVING IT TO OUR BUREAU HEAD QUARTERS.

WE SCANNED THE SAID BOX, AND FOUND IT CONTAINS TOTAL SUM OF $4.1 MILLION AND ALSO BACKUP DOCUMENT WHICH BEARS YOUR NAME AS THE RECEIVER OF THE MONEY CONTAINED IN THE BOX, INVESTIGATIONS CARRIED OUT ON THE DIPLOMAT WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE BOX INTO UNITED STATES SAID HE WAS TO DELIVER THIS FUNDS TO YOUR RESIDENCE AS PAYMENT DUE YOU FROM THE OFFICE OF FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA AS UNPAID BENEFICIARY.

WE CROSS-CHECKED ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTATION IN THE BOX, AND WERE ABOUT TO RELEASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO THE DIPLOMAT WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT THE BOX WAS LACKING ONE VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENT WHICH MAKES US CONFISCATE THE BOX.

ACCORDING TO SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 1991 CONSTITUTION IN MONEY LAUNDERING, YOUR CONSIGNMENT LACKS PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE FROM THE JOINT TEAM OF THE IRS AND HOMELAND SECURITY, REPLY FOR DIRECTION ON HOW TO PROCURE THIS CERTIFICATE WHICH WILL ENABLE YOU RELIEVED OF THE CHARGES OF MONEY LAUNDERING WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE UNDER SECTION 12 SUBSECTION 441 OF CONSTITUTION ON MONEY LAUNDERING.

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO REPLY THIS LETTER WITHIN 72HOURS, OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED, INTERROGATED AND PROSECUTED IN THE COURT OF LAW FOR MONEY LAUNDERING.

ALSO, YOU MUST NOT CONTACT ANY OTHER BANK OR PERSON IN NIGERIA OR UNITED KINGDOM OR ANY PART OF THE WORLD FOR ANY PAYMENT, BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT HAVE BEEN CONFISCATED BY THIS BUREAU HERE IN THE UNITED STATES..

YOURS IN SERVICE
AGENT JOHN EDWARD
REGIONAL DIRECTOR

Category: "Teh Stoopid"

41 Comments
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GunzRunner

You haven’t picked it up yet? Dude that’s ALOT of money!
You could like, help balance the budget or something.
Even better, you could run for office!

Old Trooper

Hey buddy, I still have my eye on that Kimber; maybe if you would hurry up and get your cash, you could buy it for me as an early birthday present? 🙂

Scubasteve

It’s just one document. Get on it!

You should threaten SA Edward with a lawsuit for attempting to smear your good name! Lots of posers out there that can recommend a good lawer.

Ex-PH2

Now that’s creative.

I usually get stuff from dead old men or little old ladies dying in Hong Kong. But THIS little number comes from the FBI hisself. They must like you better than they like me.

Combat Historian

Get ‘er done, Jonn, or the IRS SWAT team will come breaking down your door conducting an MP5 audit!

2/17 Air Cav

I found the missive to be quite credicle and I urge you to act on it immediately. Most Nigerians are unaware that the FBI uses two periods at the end of at least one sentence in every official written notification. So, trust me, this one is legit.

Al T.

Totally legit. Really. 🙂

Steadfast&Loyal

Yours in service?

WTF? Is this a church service or is he trying to make out with you?

Sparks

@6 LMAO. I love my Nigerian pals in need, or, in plenty wanting to share the wealth. Me I would go for the $4.1 million since I missed the last Powerball. After all it is at as genuine as an Obama teleprompter speech.

Detn8r

That’s one way of getting those new braces for your teeth!!!

B Woodman

Looks like the Nigerian scammers have stepped it up a notch.
AND- it also looks like John Edwards has gone from failed career politician to failed career FBI SA.

Other then that looks legit to me. Get that document, Jonn & claim your 4.1 mil!!

OWB

Lovely. Can hardly wait to hear how “THE COURT OF LAW FOR MONEY LAUNDERING” operates. Maybe it’s tucked away in a corner of Area 51.

cato

NOT Surprisingly these scams reap 10’s of thousands of dollars and cripple or destroy the life savings of many senior citizens.

Send the document as he requests, attach it to a hell fire missle…..(a predator for a predator)…..put him and his compadres where they belong….. hell in a hand basket.

USMCE8Ret

I like the part “ACCORDING TO SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 1991 CONSTITUTION IN MONEY LAUNDERING…”

Whatever.

BK

John Edward is sensing that someone who’s name starts with “M” – I’m getting that he was someone who stole something intangible, like valor, or I’m seeing a bunch of sadfaced little softball playing girls who can’t buy new aluminum bats

– or does his name start with “D” – I’m seeing a picture of fresh macadam and surface sealant…

Special Agents and people that talk to spirits and have two first names are fun.

Old Tanker

Dude, this is totally legit…..I just picked my $4.1 million last week……

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Everyone knows that Nigeria is one of the richest nations on earth that’s why they keep sending millions all over the globe in suitcases carried by diplomats on super secret squirrel missions to distribute their wealth to complete unknowns in poverty stricken countries like the US, Canada, and the United Kingdom….

John Edward eh?? If he really is psychic I wonder if he can ascertain my thoughts at this moment….I’m betting most of you can.

faboutlaws

I have a client that got the same letter and he thought it could be real. First, I advised him to stop being a criminal because he’s sure to get caught. Then I advised him to stay off the kinky porn cites because that’s where the Nigerians are stealing his information from. Once you get on the Nigerian “suckers” list, the Nigerian spam will overwhelm the cheap Viagra spam.

2/17 Air Cav

“I advised him to stay off the kinky porn cites….” Got any good advice?

Veritas Omnia Vincit

@19 block all pop-ups, turn of acceptance of any cookies, do not allow any java to run, have a good third party heuristic virus scanner running, use a strong hardware firewall….and then type seemingly unrelated words together in google….in short order your retinas will never be clean again.

PigmyPuncher

The Mother of all scam baits was the guy that went all out to get these parasites, and created a company called Anus Laptops. What followed was Epic!

Twist

Why is John Edwards yelling at you?

A_Proud_Infidel

Meeehh,…. Looks kinda legit to me, can I borrow some when ya get it?

Alberich

#21, I always thought the mother of all scambaiters was Brad Christensen. (My personal favorite – “The Senator’s Beach Pledge.”)

Hondo

Perhaps you should go get the $$$ and retire to the nation of Money Laundering, Jonn. They have a Constitution, so they must be legit.

Anyone know where that nation is? (smile)

2/17 Air Cav

The Nigerians are the only people on earth who write with an accent.

Hondo

Speaking of Anus Laptops, here’s the commercial a Nigerian scammer businessman got talked into making for them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeuPI_NTdHc

Recommend you put down any beverages before viewing the clip. Headphones might be a good idea also. (smile)

2/17 Air Cav

A virus-free Anus, an ad man whose every other word cannot be understood, and who is sporting a tie knot the size of Windsor castle while standing in front of a lime green parachute meant to hide the latest in Nigerian architecture. Classic.

Hondo

2/17 Air Cav: yep. I particularly liked the title of their security/cleanup software, too – “Wipe It”. (smile)

Jumpmaster

Not so fast, Mr. Lilyea! The same thing happened to me but I learned to my regret that it was a scam. I was promised 4.1 million dollars but received only 3.8 million. ;o)

ChipNASA

YOU TOTALLY HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS LEGIT. WHENEVER ANYONE TYPES IN ALL CAPS THEN IT’S ABSOLUTELY FO’ REALS, YO?!?!?!

Gravel

Totally Legit. Get your paperwork in order, pick up the money, buy us all brand new Kimber .45s.

Adirondack Patriot

Oh, that pesky “SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 1991 CONSTITUTION IN MONEY LAUNDERING” will get you every time!

Instinct

I’ll just refer you to the best treatment ever given to one of these types of letters

http://catoninetales.wordpress.com/2009/03/08/how-to-deal-with-spam-scams/#comment-186

Ex-PH2

Kinky porn sites? I never go to those.

Is that why I only get scam mails from Hong Kong? I do get the cheap viagra e-mails and also the occasional piece that starts “dear horndog”, but my junk e-mail is pretty mild.

NHSparky

I’m just a few more payments and fees away from getting my $18 million any day now. Dionne Warwick over at the Psychic Friends Network told me so!

Bill R.

The sad part is that people fall for this stupidity every day. And not just low information voters. A few years ago a small town treasurer lost $100,000 of his town’s money by responding to something similar.

Flagwaver

You know, you should forward that to the REAL FBI and let them get a laugh out of it. Or confirm it so you can pay them the necessary money for the documentation and reap your millions.

((if it is true, I would ask for a 1% gratuity for the suggestion. Thank you))

Busa-Jerry

The saddest part is this works on some people…

Hack.Stone

If you have some spare time, check out this site. I saw it on CNN a few years ago, and this guy knows how to play the players.

http://www.419baiter.com/

Anonymous

Hey, at least the Nigeriands’ English is getting better and they’re not claiming to be a crown prince trying to sneak money out of the country…