Meet Joshua Helton: Leader of Marines, supporter of the occupy movement

| October 6, 2011

ALL NEW:  Ok my digital ninjas, let us regroup to what we know.  First off, we know that this was said:

OK?  Well that story sets off lots of bells and whistles.

Next up, we know from the Marine AKO this:

We also know that…Another Marine checks in to say that there is an MP at Camp Futenma in Okinawa…the LCPL.

So, apparently he *might* be an MP, but have you ever heard of one leading 48 Marines?  Nah, I didn’t think so.  And an MP that has posts up lauding the positive side effects of pot?  Another good career move!

Now, if you go here to the original source you can track to his Facebook pages, which has the hefty chap I had picture up about.  Go look around at his page.  Is it him?  Is it some other dude?  It’s all confusing.

Add in that the email address associated with that one links to a MySpace account that appears to be a much skinnier dude, and which does have a picture of a guy in Marine Cammies.

Now, what does that add up to?  I have no clue.

As I noted earlier:

I sent Joshua a PM in Facebook and told him to tell me what his rank and MOS were, and that Marine records did not corroborate his story. I told him that if the records are wrong, he should let me know, otherwise I would do my part to make him as famous as I could. He chose to remain silent.

So, after regrouping, and getting the known knowns, the known unknowns, and looking at the unknown unknowns, what does all of this mean?

I leave it to you guys, as I have to do some work tonight, but I am perplexed.

Category: Iraq Veterans Against the War, Politics

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NHSparky

And it’s “stripe”, not “strip”. Oh, and just in case some poseur tries to claim it’s because they typed it on a cell phone, this post is also being sent on a cell. TSO or Jonn can confirm that.

Finally, memo to monkey boy: shave that fucking rat off your chin, get a fucking haircut, and put away the fucking M&Ms you fat fucking waste of fucking oxygen. I wouldn’t follow you into a whorehouse full of big-titted blondes if you were buying, you worthless no-load fuckstick.

Lthrnck1775

What a poser, he’s about 80 lbs OVER the weight std (unless he’s 7′-11″ tall)… also, any Marine would know its “India” Company… not “Irene”….bootcamp where? hahaha

Lthrnck1775

Lthrnck1775

PS…. what the hell kind of platoon/company has 48 Marines in it? How do you “lead” them unless you are the Plt Sgt or Plt Commander?

What a un-motivated “Lance Colonel” this turd poser is!

Lthrnck1775 Out! (see that Comm stuff there!)

lucky

Nice Sparky!!! Wth kind of poser claims stuff like this? I think he is just upset that he isn’t in on the poser pool!!!!

Sponge

I’m not military, but is there such a thing as “GOLF Company?”

I thought that’s what Obama’s main business was……

Adirondack Patriot

Man boobs? Armpit flaps?

Are those standard issue in the Marines?

I’m just sayin’. . .

UpNorth

Thar He Blows!!!!! Someone has a blob of waste in their pool. With that hair and facial fur, who thinks he’s actually a serving Marine?

Marine 83

L/Cpl diet private.

2-17AirCav

I watched Whale Wars on Animal Planet once–well, I watched some of it, to be honest. I found myself rooting for the Japanese so I never tuned in again. Anyhow, my point is that I am drop-dead certain I saw this guy on the show. Right you are. The do-gooder hippie eco-terrorists were in small boats, driving in circles around him to ward off the Japanese.

LostBoys

I wonder how excited these Marines would be if they knew the people the were supporting refer to them as “stoops”, that is “stupids.”
David Kempton · Top Commenter · I play The Beast – AKA She That Must Not Be Schmoozed at Hammond Organist
Liz Brunner Actually, Liz, I read it as active duty stoops as well, so not as obvious, perhaps… And not quite as big a ground-shaker, but still important. A Marine is always a Marine – ask one.

2-17AirCav

Whoa.For some reason, reading that m,akes me see Snake eyes Jordan. Damn Tom Mic decoder ring is on the fritz again. Anybody able to decipher?

StrikeFO
StrikeFO

his email address is: BLUEBERRY6404@YAHOO.COM

I looked at the MarineOnline results and he is Helton, Joshua A. He is in the IRR (meaning he’s out). Doesn’t have his original MOS there… it shows 8014 (which is a billet designator). He’s married to a Japanese girl so he’s probably out and working on base or still in Okinawa.

His flickr photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/blueberry6404/

Thejester

His wife is waaay to cute for that fatty cake poster boy.

Spigot

There is no way that “disgusting fat-body” (quoting GySgt Hartman) could still be in the Corps…assuming he ever really was.

And ‘Lance Coolies” (an E3) aren’t really in charge of jack…other than lording it over E1/2s in the billets…that’s about it.

SGTKane

I think I can answer the question about his leadership. Particularly about leading 48 men.

FT Leonard Wood AIT, platoon guide.

2-17AirCav

I tell you what. With this cadre of serious factfinders, if ever I get in a pickle, I am going to confess every detail immediately right here. It’s all coming out anyway so I might as well get it over with quickly!

Alice still lives here

#5 Sponge I’m not military, but is there such a thing as “GOLF Company?”

I’m not military either but the fastest way to get an answer for anything is to give a WRONG answer so… here’s my explanation. Companies, platoons, etc units are identified by an alphabetic letter, “A”, “B”, “C”, etc.. A lot of letters sound alike and can be confused by the listener, e.g. “B”, “C”, “D”, “E”, “G” … so in those cases, the phonetic code word is used to avoid any confusion – Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Golf…

Note in “Band of Brothers” “Easy Company” was company “E” – based on an older system. Today that would be Echo company.

Okay you military folk – please don’t hold back in correcting me (and incidentally answer Sponge’s question!)

Thejester

You’re good Alice. There are even military ways of pronouncing numbers. I was in a a demolition unit …21b….for 2 years and trained with them. Never went to air though…..but, we never said “four” when counting down to a demolition because it can sound like “fire”

Thejester

BTW, concerning my earlier post about his wife…..my wife is too pretty for me. Good thing she has poor eyesight and likes goofy when it is stacked at 5’9″.

2-17AirCav

Nine = Niner in radiospeak(or at least it used to be.) Why is that?

Redacted1775

Pretty sure this guy’s yankin your crank. For a few reasons.
1. The only Joshua Helton currently on active duty is stationed at Camp Pendleton, and is NOT a 5811 (he’s actually an 0651 data dink).

2. 3d Battalion “Irene” Company?! That’s a dead giveaway right there. “I” in the phoenetic alphabet is India, even recruits know that. A common poser mistake is misusing or mispronouncing every day jargon.

3. This guy is so far out of height and weight standards it’s disgusting.

tavern knight

Guys,

According to his wife’s picture at http://www.facebook.com/joshua.helton#!/profile.php?id=100002990705881 , ol’ josh is joshin’ us about his weight & looks, cuz the guy smooching Airi just might be the real J.H.

Then too this turd’s spelling, could that be ‘disinformation’ too?

Lthrnck1775

@SGTKane.. when did the USMC start doing AIT at the Army base Ft Leonard Wood? Used to be Pendleton or LeJeune!

Lthrnck1775

NR Pax

Lthrnck1775, I spent some quality time at Ft. Leonard Wood back in 98 as a 1345. I recall the MP students were there as well.

tavern knight

Yeppers,

The turd in the above pictures “isn’t” this josh…

Go to his blogsite: http://heltonjoshuaalan.blogspot.com/?zx=4e7b76c7d492d7eb

This is… unless he let himself “go.”

Lthrnck1775

@NR Pax… but SGTKane stated it was AIT at Leonard Wood… didn’t think that sounded right. Almost positive all AIT was LeJeune or Pendleton. But its been a long time (235 yrs) and stuff changes.. BRAC baby!

Lthrnck1775

Redacted1775

Looks like he’s bullshitting about still being on active duty, IMO. I know a few of the higher ups this turd would have worked under over at MCAS Futenma while he was in, and if they knew he was pulling this shit, his head would cave in from the sheer volume alone of the ass chewing he would receive.

streetsweeper

Things haven’t changed for the USMC Military Police School . Marines went to MP school at Gordon when I went through (70’s) and still do at Leonardwood.

(a) Active duty Marines must complete the Law Enforcement Military Police (MP) Course at the United States Army Military Police School (USAMPS).

(b) Prior service Reserve Marines, non-MOS qualified, may be certified for MOS 5811 also by attending the MP Course, or if unable to attend the regular MP Course, they may be certified as an AMOS-only, by the unit commander upon successful completion of the Alternate Training Instructional Program (ATIP) of Marine Force Reserves.

The ATIP for MOS 5811 consists of all of the following: serving 6 months in a Reserve MP billet; successful completion of Military Police Course (Reserve), Phase I and II of the Army School System (TASS), demonstrated proficiency of Individual Training Standards (core tasks for MOS 5811) as outlined in Marine Corps Order 1510.86C; and favorable endorsement by an MP Inspector-Instructor. As described in COMMARFORRES Order 1535.1, some core tasks, which are not acquired at the TASS course, can be accomplished/demonstrated through Managed On-Job-Training (MOJT) .

See link for additional…

Doc Bailey

I’m sorry to say I have avoided posting on this topic. There is so much I could say, and so much anger I feel about this idiocy. I get really close to losing it sometimes.

Redacted1775

Doc, if you have hate in your heart, let it out. 😉

NR Pax

My fault, Lthrnck1775. I thought we were still discussing the pinhead.

Susan

Were there always this many posers or did the internet build their ranks?

Thejester

Internet makes it harder for them to hide now.

AverageNCO

@Susan
No Susan, these knuckleheads are not a new virus on humanity, they’ve been lingering around for years. Guys like “FakeGunny” Lauve seem to have been faking it for decades. But like Jester said, the internet makes it soooo much easier to expose them.

Ryan

O.K. TSO – where the h— are you??? A simple reply to your neighbor would be GREAT!!!! Rays sure let Red Sox know they’d be around for some time even if they blew it at the end!!!!

Thejester

I know some here are from south Texas. We need to get together and golf.

CRaissi

He should be kicked in the balls for claiming PCS orders to Japan equals a deployment.

Thejester

U mean going somewhere where there is drink, women, freedom of movement, no motars and no bullets doesn’t constitute a deployment? Since when?

CRaissi

Since 2001, basically.

I have a friend in the Coast Guard who is “deployed” to Bahrain right now. I don’t have the heart to tell him that shit doesn’t count, and that he’d be in more imminent danger protecting our country cruising around the Gulf chasing what they call narco terrorists. But whatever, anything you’ve got to do to act like you’ve made it to the show.

This strip is pretty funny, though: http://terminallance.com/2010/06/22/terminal-lance-45-vacations-dont-count/

Thejester

#43…..we all have a job to do. But, I basically agree. I thought I was gonna miss the big show until 90 days to go to civieland I got stoploss orders. I was actually happy. Granted I was at LSA Anaconda…….noncombat mos (15H)…….still wasn’t easy…still lost friends. I will always remember red river 44. Check out Radney Fosters song and video “angel flight”

Doc Bailey

#43 Being “deployed” usually mean you go to places people are trying to kill you. There were some in the 90’s where secret squirrels were all around the world in the “war on drugs” and a few others that probably won’t come to light for many MANY years.

Having said that Kuwait is a “soft” deployment. Even Iraq could be considered as such (depending on the time frame). I know Navy considers every time they go to sea a “deployment”. I might give them the benefit of the doubt because the sea can in fact be a dangerous place. But Japan is NOT a deployment. This fucksticks deserve to get kicked in the balls. Repeatedly.

Lucky

Both times I was deployed, people were actively trying to kill me, so I don’t know about you guys but to me that’s what deployment means…