The Cats Away, So To Set The Tone… A Fart Story.
Been sitting on this story (no pun intended) for a day or so.
So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.
I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.
They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).
But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.
So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.
Dunno just what the Jarheads in A’Stan eat, but I’m trying to relate? Should those fine groups that organize care packages for those deployed send Beano?
It’s a cultural thing I reckon? So let us help those folks downrange deal with this before it causes an international incident.
Category: Geezer Alert!, Military issues, Pointless blather, Politics
Just to be clear SBD’s (Silent But Deadly) ones are still allowed.
SO WTF over! If they do fart are they going to give them an article 15 ? over a FART!!! I sure in the hell hope that any one in the chain of command wont impliment this at all! This is just friggen retarded!!!!!
This from the same culture that wipes their ass with their hand.
I guess we could work out a deal:
The Marines will not cuss, fart, discuss religion or politics, and in turn, the Afghans will stop beating their wives and children, buggering little boys and raping goats.
Sounds fair to me, eh?
The problem being that audible farts proves the Marines are virgins, which drives the locals crazy because they begin believing they’re martyrs.
Pretty sticky business, so best they stick to SBD.
Why are they picking on Marines? Don’t Army dudes n dudettes fart too? What about the zoomies? And the NGO’s? Sheesh, picking on Marines just because they are pickable is not even fair. Wonder what those Afghanis do when their goat farts, or do they call that a “Queef”?
Hey FO #6: Some simply have indelicate moments.
Hot Damn, I don’t think I can beat this, but I’mma sure try! 😉
I think its rich, Afghanis being offended by farts. I remember Iraqi BO was so bad that farts were a welcome relief.
Clearly, Afghans fail to appreciate the aftermath of a Chili-Mac MRE with tabasco sauce.
Time to send some Marines some boxes of FiberOne bars!
Un-fucking believable!
And to think that I sat on a plane FULL (they were coming back from a Haj) of Pashtun males flying from the UAE to Kabul, and all those goat humpers did was pick their noses and wipe snot all over their man dresses.
If I’d known it was frowned on in their culture, I’d have busted ass two or three times in riposte.
watch out Jarheads, they’ll put out a “fartwa” on ya…
Just ask yourself “what would my DI do”?
Marines have a lot of discipline and generally carry out any orders they receive, but this one may be a bit tough to accomplish. when you have to bust ass, you have to bust ass. That is just the way it is. And Marines tend to be a stinky bunch as it is. This just be stupid.