Tea Party horror story
Claymore sent us a link to a Democratic Underground discussion in which a DUmmy tries to tell the story about how an evil “teabagger” on a three-wheeled motorcycle with a “huge American flag” on the back terrorized her poor hippie family as they were driving to the Whole Foods store to buy a supply of organically-grown arugula in their hybrid car that happened to have an Obama sticker on the bumper;
Moments later he falls back and lets some space come between us and then speeds up to what must have been close to 100 mph and suddenly jerks into the next lane, up beside us and then pulls in front of us with less than a foot of space. My husband jerks to avoid hitting him and we ended up spinning out into the opposing lane. Being a good driver he managed to recover before we got hit, but we ended up behind the same trike rider at the next light. He proceeded to get OFF his trike, start flipping us off and screaming how we were the “scum of the earth and deserved to burn in hell, baby killers, and nazis” and a few other choice words that I won’t repeat as quite frankly I don’t remember everything he said since by that point I was literally shaking in terror
Yes, people in fragile motorcycles always attack larger, heavier cars – especially if they display huge American flags. Of, course, none of the DUers who join the discussion question question the veracity of the story – because it fits the template of hate-filled “tea baggers”. One of the numbnuts even heightens the silliness;
16. I have two switches on my dashboard…
The first switch flashes the brake lights, even if I’m not braking.
This deters all but the most repulsive nazi road-raging types.
The second switch flashes the WHITE REVERSE lights.
Even the most die-hard bush-nazi type would spin out off the freeway.
Sure you do, gumball. I have two switches on my dashboard, too. One incinerates every hippie within 50 feet of my car. The other just punches them in the dick.
Category: General Whackos
Ummm, just a thought here- Aren’t we the ones usually being called baby killers? This story is bogus.
Then again, its from DU……
I guess I got my daily dose of astonished humor by reading most of that thread. My favorite part is the person who claims to have two switches in his car, he goes on to state: “But tell me. If you see white lights on a car in your lane while you were going 60, wouldn’t you immediately turn your undies into a DQ Chocolate Blizzard Deluxe?”
The story itself seems just a bit off-kilter, I’ve never seen, and rarely heard of, someone completely losing it on the road for no reason. More probable explanation? The biker was cut off, knowingly or not, or otherwise felt affronted by them (assuming the story is remotely true in the first place).
As for the jackass with the switches, I’d merely laugh if I saw someone frantically flicking a switch and glancing in the rear view mirror with their backup and brake lights flickering on and off. “Why isn’t it working? He’s still there!” Then again, I try to remain courteous regardless of other drivers and have no need for gimmicks to demonstrate my own road rage.
three wheeled motorcycle? The only people I have seen riding tricycles, (motorized), are senior citizens and handicapped sorts. She sez “he proceeded to get off his bike,,,,,,,”, therefore discounting the handicapped. And, actually I have seen few conservative sorts on trikes. Those are usually the liberal, “green” sort that belong to the Gold Wing Trike bunch.
Phony as hell.
Nuf Sed
You know that’s a bullshit statement (the blinking brake lights) when even the other DUmmies call his worthless ass out.
Let’s wander down into DU fairy tale land, shall we?
1. This quote “speeds up to what must have been close to 100 mph”…bullshit. A Prius laden with 100 lbs of pro-Obama fellatio stickers might hit 40mph with a good tailwind. Mythbusted.
2. Quote two; “My husband jerks to avoid hitting him and we ended up spinning out into the opposing lane. Being a good driver he managed to recover before we got hit, but we ended up behind the same trike rider at the next light”. So, with both vehicles travelling at speeds ‘close to 100 mph’, we’re supposed to believe Mario Andretti there spun out, recovered, and then caught up to Captain America at the next red light? Inconceivable.
3. Then there’s this; “He proceeded to get OFF his trike, start flipping us off and screaming how we were the ‘scum of the earth and deserved to burn in hell, baby killers, and nazis'”. At a red light…that you both ended up at after your Dukes Of Hazzard/Fast And Furious drifting contest…sure…and Rosie O’Donnell has just announced her latest Maxim swimsuit photoshoot that she’s the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig and the NRA.
4. But wait, there’s more; I have two switches on my dashboard. The first switch flashes the brake lights, even if I’m not braking.. Sure. Then he hits another button on the dash and the car transforms into a giant rainbow powered robot. GO GO RUMP RANGER!!
5. What’s even funnier is that even the DUmbasses know this whole thing is a load of shit; Right there on the dashboard of his Bugatti Veyron. The one with the rocket boosters and the swimming pool and the secret escape pod.. Respect the secret escape pod, d’bag!
I have two switches as well…one activates the gunsight and the other cuts on the electric power for the M134 7.62mm minigun I have in a cutout pocket behind the flipup left headlight.
You, Claymore, are my idol, rivaling even Dr. House.
One question I have is this: Why is anyone displaying the American flag instantly categorized as a “tea bagger”? How do they know the person was a tea party participant? I see a new braodbrush stereotype approach to anyone that is remotely proud of their country and would have the audacity to display the flag.
As for the DUmbass story…..pure bullshit.
This weekend may a good time to check out your high rise truck. See how many rioters bodies it takes to bog it down in low 4WD.
When I was a gunner my “dash” had neat switches on it, Coax, Sabot, HEAT, Willie P, and B-Hive. I would try the Phos just to see the fireworks of hitting a Prius battery…..
The first line of the trike story should read as follows:
“It was a dark and stormy night…”
Sure you do, gumball. I have two switches on my dashboard, too. One incinerates every hippie within 50 feet of my car. The other just punches them in the
dickmangina.Sorry, noticed a typo and had to correct it.
I read through the thread…Really? I wasn’t sure to take most of what people wrote seriously. I would be embarassed to post a story like that. Most of the comments seemed patronizing, but I don’t think they were.
I read a few conservative and milblogs, but none of them have called for the violence like the DU. They just seem so scared of anyone who doesn’t agree with them.
My hubby is handicapped, but since the good leg is the one he shifts with he can still ride now and then for short distances on his good days….carries his cane across his back with a rifle sling.
MOTORCYCLE HELMET STICKERS @ http://www.ironhorsehelmets.com
“IF YOU DON’T LIMP YOU AIN’T SHIT”
I had a switch in my turret too, allowed for me to transition the turret from traversing via joystick, to traversing the hand-cranked, old school way. I didn’t need breaklights to get the person behind me to stop, thats why I had hand-arm-signals and my M240B <3
I just started working on installing a turret on the wife’s Chevy Cobalt. She is insisting that she always guns. I guess being 9 months pregnant can make someone a little testy.
Lucky, don’t forget the pen flares.
9 months pregnant? Congrats! Let me tell you though, a year here will bring with it similar pains. I had tracers, an M4, and an M9 (we carry both when deployed) and at one point during the recent electoral retardedness, frags, smoke, flares and an empty gatorade bottle or two, those being handy for not just field expediency. They, once filled, make a great addition to the less-than-lethal arsenal for Necessary Escalation of Force!!!
The lunacy of the lies and tear-jerker stories get stranger and stranger. I’m thinking of mounting a giant fly swatter on the hood of my car so I can swat and then flick away vehicles with pro-Obama bumper stickers displayed.
Lucky I knew that my wife and I were destined to be together forever when one day I said, “I wish I was back in Iraq right now,” and she said, “why?” with a quizzical look. “Because I would have allread put a couple rounds in that asshole behind us.” Rather than have the typical civilian reaction she died laughing.
Lucky…..you guys are still chucking piss bombs?? The more things change…….
Okay now I know you’re lying about having 2 switches on your dashboard because hippies are the original dickless wonders
This thread clearly demonstrates why you guys are a danger to yourselves and others, especially others…….
Old Tanker, you would be surprised how much stays the same over here, Ground Hog Day, eat your heart out, try Ground FOB day. Every day on the FOB/COB gets sooooooo repetitive. If it were not for the two mile track and the trails around here, I don’t know what I would do, lol!
I’m sorry Joe, did someone give you permission to flap your cocksucker? Do the words “humor” or “sarcasm” have any relevant meaning to you, or are you just a sociopath who has absolutely no ability to function among normal human beings?
This story may not be really true, but I’d so much like to believe it is – and I’m rooting for the guy on the trike.
I too am rooting for the guy on the trike! Oh! and more babies have been killed by Libtards than us. Just saying. Joe go
OOPs! Hit the wrong key. As I was saying, Joe go take a flying intercourse at a rolling Donut.
Maybe he was hoping to blind them with that big ol’ American flag?? Many moons ago I took a motorcycle safety course and this type of behavior really isn’t conducive to the biker making it out alive. My instructor suggested using ball bearings to take out a windshield of some particularly prickish driver. After a few years as a forensic investigator I switched to glass marbles – same effect, no evidence left behind. Throw marbles at hippies is my new phrase of the month.
Beat and Release:
You were far too gentle with the glass marbles. As a patch holder, I was often tailgated. Being rear ended by a dipshit in a cage is not what a biker would like to experience. I carried old sparkplugs. Tossed over my shoulder, they never, ever failed to increase the distance between us; often by miles. Never had one of ’em come back up on me to complain about his windshield, so I don’t know if they backed off because they saw the flying objects or because they couldn’t see through their fractured windshields. Back off dummies, Bikes are not your hood ornaments. This Turd tried to make a story, and would not have had the balls to drive 100 mph, even if a Prius or other “green” cage could do 100.
Nuf Sed
[…] This ain’t Hell… has a funny story about a DUmmie at a TEA Party […]
Jeez, all I have on my Countach is some hot-oil sprayers, an ejection seat and a laser built into the headlights. Oh, and some death spikes that come out of the wheels to kill passing hippies in their electric conversion Volvo’s.
I was suspicious of this story right from the start — mainly because of the part about driving to Whole Foods to buy come organic arugula. I glanced at the DU link and didn’t see anything about that part of the story. So I’m assuming this was some fanciful elaboration on Jonn’s part because — and I thought this was common knowledge, but apparently not — the hippies are boycotting Whole Foods because, OMG, the founder of Whole Foods has revealed himself to be, horror of horrors, a Libertarian! Apparently it came as quite a shock to his employees and customers. In fact, I was a little bit sad on my recent visit back to Atlanta to make a shopping stop at Harry’s Whole Foods Market and see how empty the store was on what is usually the busiest day of the week. Very sad indeed. (Also sad that apparently those right of center are not as concerned about whole foods and natural health as those left of center are, otherwise the store wouldn’t have been so empty.)
Also, Lucky (#1), I’m sure the supposed “baby killer” comment was a reference to abortion, which, although there are some on the left who are pro-lifers and some on the right who are pro-abortion choicers, I think it remains that the majority of pro-abortion choicers are more or less on the left.
Guys, you can use two things both of which work. BB’s like for the Daisy BB Guns work great and will not only take out every light on the car behind you are much harder to find afterwords for evidence and Marshmellows. They look exactly like golf balls when lobbed out of the window and will scare the piss out of the guy behind you. Just make sure the guy behind you is not in an unmarked cop-car.
Debra: I took the Arugula part as embellishment from the start. The part about Whole Foods is sad. It not only shows just how intolerant those on the left that constantly preach tolerance are and also how much extra money those on the left have to buy that over-priced stuff all the while telling everyone else they make too much money. I don’t think those on the right are less healthy and make worse food choices than anyone else its just that we don’t have as much free cash to waste in trying to make ourselves feel better and impress those around us about how much we care and also have gardens so don’t go into those stores as much.
@JonP – “Just make sure the guy behind you is not in an unmarked cop-car.”
Noted.
JonP (#35), I’m not sure if your generalizations are really accurate, nor many of the other generalizations here – like assuming that those who drive Prius and Volvo are hippies. I know a number of young military officer families who fit what seems to be more the stereotype you all have here of hippies (including in my family), and they are nothing of the sort.
On the other hand…it is true that Harry’s Whole Foods was very empty on a recent Saturday, perhaps because of the boycott, so you may be partially correct. Probably I just have a weird family with weird friends…highly intelligent right-wing libertarian, organic military hippies…
Gimme a kiss Baby..(couldnt resist 🙂 ) No, most generalizations are not accurate and mine sure are not. Your last sentence pretty much describes me. A former military, college educated, right-wing libertarian who lived off the grid for a couple of years. I threw out the generalization because leftists make such big targets through their constant hypocrisy which is my much broader point.
LOL…So…Hmmm…What is your age bracket, and…are you single? 🙂
LOL..TAH as a matchmaker. Who knew?? 🙂
LOL… :-0