“Talk to me Goose” Navy Call Signs Explained
How U.S. Navy Pilots Really Get Their Callsigns
A Super Hornet pilot gives us an inside look at how Naval Aviators get their often colorful but unflattering callsigns.
BEN KOHLMANN
Let’s reminisce about fighter pilot callsigns and how they come about.
I’ll start with mine: ‘The Professor,’ eventually shortened to ‘Prof.’
How I got it: First port call as a new guy in the squadron, we pull into Hong Kong. Everybody always chipped into buying the fanciest penthouse in a big name hotel – think 30 guys and gals crashing on the floor.
Someone was always tagged as the ‘admin queen.’ This individual was required to stay sober and be the adult in the room in case anything went awry and had to talk to the hotel staff.
I pulled Admin Queen duty the second night.
2am, all my compatriots are out on the town. Looking around, I noticed everybody was gone.
So, like anyone would, I change the music from rap to Beethoven and pull out my American History of Law book to pass the time.
Bad move.
An older squadronmate bursts in, tipsy, and sees me.
“What do we have here? It’s the Professor at work!”
It was the leading contender at the callsign review board the next week that took place aboard ship.
Let’s pause a bit and talk about the ‘rules’ for callsigns.
It’s rumored that Air Force fighter jocks get to pick their own callsigns… which is where you get things like ‘Ripper’ and ‘Ace’ and ‘Thor.’
Not in the Navy
A bit different for enlisted Aircrew- no JOPA for us. Callsigns just morph into being and one’s opinion on the matter is interesting but not relevant.
“Majic”
Category: Navy, Reality Check, The Warrior Code
Air Force pilots DO NOT pick their own callsign.
Ha. OK.
However, a fellow Marine Aviator buddy and I were in an Air Force O’Club bar one evening back in the day when we were approached by some USAF F-15 and F-16 pilots who wanted to ask us about USN/USMC Naval Aviation callsigns. They all had typical USAF “cool guy” callsigns like “Killer”, “Ace”, “Slash”, “Guns”, “Slick”, etc., and they wanted to know why, in contrast to their own callsigns, USN/USMC Naval Aviation callsigns always tended to be so crude, derogatory, and sometimes just downright gross. They explained to us that they chose their individual callsigns in order to bolster their images as fighter pilots, advertise their specific talents in the aircraft (e.g., “Guns”), etc.
Upon hearing that, and after suppressing more than a few alcohol-fueled giggles, my buddy and I proceeded to explain to them in excruciating detail about how USN/USMC Naval Aviation callsigns are based almost exclusively on stupid/embarrassing acts that were committed in front of squadron witnesses (e.g., in the aircraft, on the ground at the squadron, or while on liberty), and/or based on any obvious physical deformities or physical anomalies of the individual being named. The desires and opinions of the individual being named are always rejected out of hand, there is never any mercy, and there is no appeal. We made sure to emphasize the callous, inhumane brutality of it all.
Needless to say, the Air Force guys weren’t able to get their heads around our Naval Aviation callsign “process”, and they went away shaking their heads and muttering about how f*cked up Navy and Marine Aviators are.
At that point, my buddy and I had another beer and giggled some more.
Good times!
Lex had a good story about his. He started with “Dyslexic” which he got from his first meeting at his fist operational squadron with name plate over his left and wings over his right breast pocket. Eventually, it got shortened to just “Lex.”
“Not in in Navy.”
Not in Marine Corps Aviation, either.
“Mick”
I had no say in the matter when I was given my callsign in my first FMF squadron. As AW1Ed says, your opinion regarding your callsign is interesting, but irrelevant, and resistance is futile.
Eagerly standing by for TGIII “Love is in the Air”. Two pilots “Sausage” and “Biscuit” form a non gendered love triangle with fellow pilot “Gravy”.
Who gets the extra pat of butter? Will they ever find Iran?
I’ll have to ask a couple of my old TACCOs “Jeeter” and “Spooge” their take on the New Navy.
I can just imagine.
*grin*
Spooge should be particularly entertaining.
I couldn’t tell the tale the way it deserves to be told, but there was alcohol involved.
Of course there was!
No good story ever started with salad.
But usually starts with; “No shit, this really happened…”
Ass Clown One.
As a TANKER, I was given the nic-name/callsign of Mudpuppy in 1979 at Ft Knox with I stuck my tank in a red clay lined ditch. Caused an impromptu vehicle recovery using like vehicle class.
Looks like the “Professor” leans more toward Ginger than Mary Ann.
“…pick your call sign/nick name…” BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA Not.gonna.happen! Howard Wolowitz AKA “Fruit Loops” was unavailable for comment.
Far as this old man is concerned, HER call sign is; “WHOA MAMA”.😎
Our old Air Officer’s call sign was “SAUL”. He had a law degree and it stood for “Sorry Ass Useless Lawyer.”
If I had a call sign right now it would be “Dead Stick Landing”…😠
I always heard callsigns were awarded for doing stupid shit, particularly in training.
A few of my acquaintance from my 30 years in Marine aviation (all of these are actual call signs of pilots, observers, and WSOs I’ve worked with):
Capt “Puke” Ralph; Maj “Komrade” Bresnik (became an astronaut); Maj “French” Fries (pronounced “freeze” but oh well); Maj “Master” Bates; Maj “Major” Minor; Col “Moon” Mullin.
I guess some call signs are just too obvious to pass up.
AF call signs are usually assigned. We had an Instructor Pilot named Henderson his call sign was Harry (Harry and the Henderson’s), another another IP Rock was called Heater, Waddy was called Wad.
Then there was the student pilot going though F-15 training that busted his head on a missile fin. He was given the moniker of either slash or gash.
Can’t remember any more of the call signs as it was 27 years ago when I left that unit.
Most Air Force aviators with a surname of Wise or Smart were christened NOTSO.
I had a contemporary last name of Sheets, callsign BULL.
I ran into a female F-16 pilot in the Nellis O-Club Callsign MOUNDS. A lot of folks thought it was the fact that she had impressive breasticles that even a flight suit couldn’t disguise. But in reality it was because Almond Joy has nuts Mounds don’t.
Once at the Nellis O Club on a Fri night there was a beautiful lady that filled out a flight suit very well smoking a cigar. Her call sign was “Mounds”. I commented to a bud that I could see why. Wrong he said. Almond Joys have nuts, Mounds do not.
Sounds like a Boom Operator, that refueled our aircraft from Tyndall AFB, FL to Volk Field, WI.
During refueling operations, she would peel the top of her flight suit down, she had a bikini top under it. Needless to say, she got an orientation ride in one of our F-15’s. Me, being Aircrew Life Support, I had to fit her harness and g-suit to her. She was stacked that was for sure!
Oh, the fun times of my misguided youth….
Did she smile slyly while you fitted her just waiting for you to make some comment?
Had all the pilots watching her gest fitted. I’ll put it this way, when we fit the harness to a guy, we put our fist between the chest strap and their chest and tighten the chest strap.
We just reach for the less straps and hook them up, then crank down on them.
She was expecting me to do the same, I hesitated, she said treat me like you treat them. Then came the g-suit fitting process.
She had a great flight, and I needed a cold shower…..!
I know of who you speak.
You do……?
https://insidethemagic.net/2021/01/star-wars-call-sign-rwb1/
Scottish actor Ewan McGregor’s brother, Colin McGregor — who served as a Royal Air Force (RAF) pilot in the United Kingdom — did just that. Although he retired after a 20-year career in 2007, McGregor had the coolest call sign in the galaxy when he was an active duty member of the military and it plays off of his younger brother’s iconic Jedi Knight role in Star Wars: Episode I
Can you guess it w/o clicking the link?
Scotty?
Ewan McGregor played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars: Episode I so his brother’s call sigh was Obi-Two
Was awarded the honorary call sign “Dr. Hook” at Camp Schwab, Okinawa. Had just reported in and my sponsor took me to the O Club. I was invited to a game of Ship, Captain, and Crew that included some senior officers. I managed to “hook” the 4th Regiment CO 5 times in a row. While I probably should have quit while I was ahead he took it with good humor and grace. When I went to the O Club the next evening I found out “Dr. Hook” was banned from the club for 30 days…😆
Don’t know about pilot call signs, but at Bentwaters we had a MSGT in charge of the wash rack whose name was Bailey. He of course was called “Beetle”.
Navy call signs?
One example – the first and AFAIK only all female Tomcat crew that did a 9 hour sortie in the Turkey doing CAS. Sarah ‘Nooner’ Franson says it is from a drinking game so typically is very tasteless. The RIO Carrine ‘Sweaty’ Cassidy when married was Mrs. Palm.
Dave ‘Bio’ Baranek’s brother, another Naval aviator, was called BOB – Brother of Bio.
Jeff ‘Easy’ Lay – needs no real explanation. Bill ‘Taco’ Bell is another obvious one.
Pager ‘ROT’ Page well one night got caught in a vicious shear trying to land at Moffet Field and to prevent fatally pancaking into the ground slammed the throttles on the Tomcat. So the base CO got a nasty letter complaining about when would this jet noise Reign of Terror end. So he became ROT.
There is an entire chapter devoted to Call Signs in “Grumman F-14 Tomcat: Bye-Bye Baby…!” Dave “Hey Joe” Parsons, George Hall, and Bob “Photo Bob” Lawson.
Pooky (enlisted Air Force) was “Bobby” his entire career because a SNCO at his first base would yell, “DAMNIT, BOBBY!” at him. The guy almost cried when he PCSed, they’d become good friends.
I’ve worked with two female officers, one was “SLAM” and the other was “ALI”.
SLAM – Short Lady Always Mad
ALI – Angry Little Instructor
Both were high strung but knew their shit 150%.
Glad the Army doesn’t use “Call Signs” except for radio chatter and it is all based on posittion not the person.
My first unit LT and Platoon Sergeant always called me a nickname based on a common last name of a sports star whose book came out about the time I arrived…but it didn’t follow me. I think it was also a joke since we had others in the Company with the same last name but I was the only one of a differnet ethnic origin.
While I was just another Army schlub on the ground, I gained my nickname from the first 30 seconds of BCT. My very Puerto Rican Drill SGT, with a very Puerto Rican accent, had no trouble at all at not being able to pronounce my Polish surname. He, quite literally, mumbled and cursed for 5 minutes, with his face and Round Brown bouncing off my name tape, trying to put the consonants where the vowels were, and vice versa.
After having me repeat my name about 3 dozen times (you can imagine how that went: Me-him-me-him-me-him), he settled on Messkit, which, in reality, is phonetically pretty darn close. Despite the name tape, that’s what EVERYONE in the Platoon and command called me for the next 11 weeks (Christmas exodus included).
The day I reported to AIT, the clerk looked at my paperwork, then at me, and said “Oh, you’re the Messkit guy.”
The day I reported to my first duty station, the clerk looked at my paperwork, and said “Oh, you’re the Messkit guy”.
The day I reported to my reserve unit to finish my last contract, the company clerk looked at my paperwork, and said “Oh, you’re the Messkit guy”.
The first incoming radio call to my position in Iraq, was “Messkit, Messkit, this is OP-1. How copy, over?”
I have, non-conscientiously, signed paperwork, “Messkit”.
My wife even, called me Messkit for years.
I always liked the Call Signs for the two characters in “Hot Shots”, who lived [or died] up to their names;
Jim “Wash Out” Pfaffenbach, and Pete “Dead Meat” Thompson.
Most of these call signs are rather dull. Most Navy pilots are really geeks and nerds pretending to be cool.
Anyone know how Thomas Bolling of Ambassador Worldwide Protection Agency got the call sign “Turd”?
When Hack Stone was still active duty at The Pentagon, we had a Naval Aviator from Wisconsin. His call sign was Cheesehead.