Stolen Guard Hummer Remains in the Wind

| July 7, 2023


I Can’t Drive 55

Gone in 60 Minutes: Guard Humvee stolen on July 3 still missing

By Jon Simkins and Jonathan Lehrfeld

For nearly three days one of the most sluggish and conspicuous vehicles to ever occupy a paved road has managed to elude authorities in California’s Sonoma County — and leads are slim.

A California Army National Guard Humvee was reported stolen from a Santa Rosa-based armory on July 3 at approximately 10:30 p.m., California Highway Patrol officer Marcus Hawkins told Military Times.

Police responding to the location, which appears to be the home of the Guard’s 579th Engineer Battalion, arrived to find the armory’s gates smashed open and a trail of debris in the roadway, suggesting the suspect(s) rammed the gates.

The subsequent discovery of a tarp draped over an adjacent chain link fence indicated the individual(s) scaled the fence to enter the facility.

Army Times

That’s some mighty fine police reportin’ right there. The authors opine the culprit has a military background, but I doubt this. Unlike them I’ve actually ridden in one of the things.

Category: Humor, National Guard

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Old tanker

They could still be Vets. I’m figuring there are gonna be plenty of civvies who would think having a ride like the terminator would be cool. Likely that or it might have gone South.

Last edited 1 year ago by Old tanker
26Limabeans

They will find it abandoned once the thieves realize what they got.

KoB

They’ll park it next to the gamma goat.

Now…if there was just a motor pool somewhere with an M151 sitting around….

Anonymous

Kinda hard to get JP8 at one’s local gas station. (DF2 works, I know, but how many know that?)

Last edited 1 year ago by Anonymous
MIRanger

Not being a mechanic, I always thought the JP8 was diesel. So will it sieze the engine if they put in a little less refined stuff like civilian grade Diesel? What about kerosene?

Maybe the Po-Po should stake out the local airports for theft of JP-8!

SFC D

We ran ’em on #2 diesel for years before JP8. Only headache I saw was that after you switch to JP8, you have to change the fuel filters because the JP8 will flush out a lot of crud that #2 diesel leaves behind.

Arby

The same thing happens when you use bio-diesel for the first time in an old diesel. It’s like sh*t through a goose or movi-prep before the colonoscopy.

Prior Service

Just the thought of movi-prep brings out the flashbacks. “The horror…. The horror.”

Anonymous

Colonblow!

Milo Mindbender

I was involved in the switch from dead dino diesel to JP-8 in my unit over in ROK, back in 93-94. It is functionally diesel with additional biocides, and a really good pour point additive to prevent the fuel from gumming or gelling at low temps. The biocides killed off the tank fauna that fed on the sulphur in the fuel, and that is what plugged up the filters. I used to be the motor NCO for 17th Aviation Brigade HHC at Youngsan. Was a good tour until Kim Ul Sang dirt napped right before I left, then it got tense.

SGT Ted

The last ime someone stole one of these from a CA ARNG unit in the 1990s, they installed lock brackets on the transmission shifters to lock them in “park” with a series 200 lock and required units to take the 24v system cross over cable off the batteries when not in use ( which was later rescinded due to damaged batteries).

I wonder if they quit doing the locking brackets and I wonder what the over-reaction from higher will require them to do. Most likely they’ll have them remove the engines and store them in the arms rooms.

5JC

One article said they could do 70MPH, bunch of head shakes over here, unless going over a cliff or out the back of an aircraft.

Hate_me

I’ve gotten a 998 up to 70 before. Doors and all canvas removed, and I was drafting a semi.

Anonymous

A lightly loaded M998 with governor removed will go 75 with the pedal to the metal. (If you drive on the Autobahn in Germany, disconnecting the governer is a must– going only 45 mph is hazard to yourself other people there.)

MarineDad61

5JC,
I understand that drop of gravity peaks at about 85mph?
Some of these Humvees certainly topped 70mph.
But it didn’t end well.
Despite the laughter in the video.

ChipNASA

Are the old AirDrop at Hohenfels, Germany.
This shit never gets old.

And for those that didn’t get the story the first, second third or fourth time…

Some soldier got a big fried chicken dinner for that

https://www.stripes.com/news/sergeant-who-sent-3-humvees-plummeting-from-plane-found-guilty-1.526073

Skippy

BHAWHAHAHAHA !!!!!!