Weekend Open Thread
Christmastide runs from December 25, 2022, until January 8, 2023. There are 12 days of Christmas, the balance of the days are days of Epiphany. Enjoy your Christmas weekend!
Category: Open thread
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Dear Santa,
Please allow Hack Stone to be First Commenter for This Ain’t Hell Weekend Open Thread on Friday December 23, 2022. If you allow Hack Stone to be First Commenter, he promises to be a kind and benevolent ruler over the great unwashed masses known as The Adorable Deplorables. As First Commenter, Hack Stone will ensure all the good boys and girls in the world, as well as any non-binary gender fluid former Department of Energy employees get a copy of Y3K software under their non specific religious holiday tree.
Signed,
Hack Stone
Bethesda Maryland
No Hack Stone can focus on more important things, like clearing his DVR of Judge Judy reruns.
Now Hack Stone…
Dear Santa;
Hack Stone is a lying dog faced pony soldier that will do nothing more than eat all of the crayons and gift the Patriotic Deplorables of TAH outdated Red Hat Software. He is also keeping the charms of the supposedly missing Elaine Ricci all to himself.
Signed,
The Gun Bunny
God’s Country USA
Another bald faced lie from KoB. Hack Stone did not eat all of the crayons, he abstained from the brown crayons because they make him (more) constipated.
It’s a Christmas miracle. And to celebrate I will tithe the ugliest of Christmas sweaters ever made to his majesty:
Remember kids–put up shoes, machine guns, and cigarettes in you ventilation ducts, or John McClaine won’t be saying, “Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!” to you this year!
Like this?
Nothing like a red neck, white socks, and blue ribbon beer!
5JC:
We like this one as well…
😉 😎
Merry Christmas!
As long as it is not Coors Light.
It’s been said that they almost named Coors Light “Sex in a Canoe” because it’s next to f%cking water!
Congratulations, Mr. Stone, for another Victory!
We see a close relative of yours, Andy Stone, dropped his lawsuit against Mariah Carey reference a Christmas Song…
“All I Want For Christmas Is You’ Copyright Lawsuit Dropped”
https://www.fbcnews.com.fj/entertainment/all-i-want-for-christmas-is-you-copyright-lawsuit-dropped/
“Singer Mariah Carey is no longer being sued for copyright infringement over her hit song All I Want for Christmas is You after country singer Andy Stone dropped his lawsuit on Monday.”
“Songwriter Mr Stone sued the popstar in June, claiming he co-wrote a song with the same name five years earlier.”
“Mr Stone, who performs under the name Vince Vance with the band Vince Vance and the Valiants, previously filed the lawsuit in a New Orleans federal court – where he also filed to have the case dismissed.”
“He was claiming at least $20m in damages, arguing that Ms Carey exploited his “popularity” and “style”.
And it only took him almost 30 years to realize the song that is on a continuous loop on every adult contemporary radio station each December is similar to his song. This is why he eats the Thanksgiving and Christmas meals at the folding card table with the short leg at Stately Stone Manor.
Hack,
As a former resident of Bodymore, Murderland, I hope Santa grants you and your family access to a visa back to normal people land.
Life is much better here in the Carolinas.
Merry Christmas to all my TAH brothers and sisters!
1st
Denied!
4th
You are actually The Third Herd, Jefafa.
Hack Stone sits upon the throne! (Poetry, no less.) With that fait accompli, I hereby offer my Christmas gift to all my friends on TAH … the weekly trivia column. I hope you all have the Merriest Christmas possible! Thank you for allowing me to share my silly stuff here.
DID YOU KNOW…?
Did a classic historical author have to rewrite his entire master work from memory?
By Commissioner Wretched
didyouknowcolumn@gmail.com
When next we meet, Christmas will have come and gone. The annual visit from Jolly Old St. Nick and the tradition of unwrapping gifts left under the tree will be over. Kids will be enjoying their loot, and parents will, like as not, be starting to stress over how they’re going to pay for all of that.
Ah, Christmas. The memories.
So let me take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas. May the real reason for the season always be in your hearts and minds, even while you’re doing your part to help out old Santa.
And stay away from the egg nog. That stuff is awful.
Help yourself instead to some trivia!
Did you know …
… you may be in possession of a winklepicker? In fact, if you have one, you more than likely have two. What’s a winklepicker, you ask? It’s a shoe with a sharp-pointed toe, a style which was incredibly popular in the 1950s, but not so much since. (My only questions are … what is a winkle, and how do shoes help you pick it?)
There’s only one thing to do if the egg nog is awful:
Add bourbon until you don’t care about the taste.
I like egg nog. You must have some brand x version in your AO, CW.
Likely drinking the Dollar Store brand… 😜
… the first manned mission to the Moon almost happened two years early? During planning for the mission of Gemini 11 in 1966, astronaut Charles “Pete” Conrad (1930-1999) – who would be the command pilot of the flight – advocated an idea which would have seen the spacecraft launched into Earth orbit, dock with another rocket stage, and make a trip to orbit the Moon at least once before coming back to Earth. The plan generated significant interest, but in the end NASA decided to use any extra money that would have made such a flight possible to further develop the forthcoming Apollo spacecraft which – unlike Gemini – was designed to go to the Moon. The Moon would not be visited by humans until the flight of Apollo 8, which orbited our natural satellite in December of 1968. (Boy, old Pete was a real go-getter, wasn’t he?)
… it is illegal to marry the spouse of your grandparent in three states? It’s against the law to “become your own grandparent” in Maine, Maryland and South Carolina, as well as in the District of Columbia. (What surprises me is that it’s apparently legal in 47 other states!)
… some baseball pitchers never forget? For instance, take St. Louis Cardinals great Bob Gibson (1935-2020). In his last game before his retirement in 1975, Gibson gave up a grand slam home run to Chicago Cubs infielder Pete LaCock (born 1952). Ten years later, when the two were playing in an Old Timers’ Game, Gibson intentionally hit LaCock with a fastball. Additional trivia note: LaCock is the son of Hollywood Squares original host Peter Marshall (born 1926). (I know it’s December, but a note about baseball makes me think of spring. So sue me.)
You didn’t mess with Gibson
Arguably the most intimidating pitcher in modern baseball, if not in all baseball history. Go Cards!
… a classic historic work had to be rewritten from memory? Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) wrote his definitive work, The French Revolution: A History, in 1837. Before it was published, however, Carlyle gave it to his friend John Stuart Mill (1806-1873) to proofread. While the manuscript was with Mill, his housemaid inadvertently used the papers to kindle a fire, and the entire manuscript was destroyed. Carlyle was undaunted, however: he sat down and rewrote the entire book from memory. He had already destroyed his notes, so it all had to come from his mind. (And I have trouble remembering what I had for breakfast today.)
… Americans spend more each year on beauty than they do on education? (And it shows. Believe me, it shows.)
… you may know a werewolf? You might actually be one yourself and not be aware of it. Seriously. A psychiatric syndrome exists called clinical lycanthropy, and people who have it think they are wolves. (Werewolf? There wolf!)
… a well-known brand of boat motors was developed because of ice cream? In 1907, Norwegian immigrant Ole Evinrude (1877-1934) was on a picnic with his sweetheart on an island in Lake Michigan when the young lady decided she wanted some ice cream. Gentleman that he was, Ole willingly rowed back to the shore to get the treat, but it melted before he could row back to the island. This inspired him to create a motor that would power a small boat, and Evinrude outboard motors was born, incorporating in 1909. (Recreational boaters are grateful Ole didn’t choose to invent the food freezer instead.)
… the phrase “pipe dream” has a real meaning? Now used to describe someone’s flight of fantasy, an original pipe dream was an idea thought up by someone who was smoking opium. (I wouldn’t touch this one with a forklift.)
… nearly 40% of men say they do not feel confident when meeting a woman for the first time? (I’m hip, brother. I’m hip.)
… two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do? No, I’m not making an obscure joke. If you make three left turns, you will be going in the same direction you would be if you’d made one right turn. (On second thought, maybe I am making an obscure joke.)
… if you touch your tongue while yawning, you can stop the yawn? (This works; I tried it. You look rather silly doing it, but it works.)
After a few experiences in my past lives, I am chary when meeting a woman for the first time, until I have some idea how she responds to old-fashioned so-called-toxic men.
Just as soon not get burned by a prejudiced female again, thank you very much.
So-called-toxic men… so, simply, men?
Real men, not soy-boys.
It’s three rights make a left, and is a common approach for people who fear making left turns.
… a famous artist was raised to believe he was the reincarnation of his brother? Salvador Dalí (1904-1989) was born nine months after his older brother, who was also named Salvador (1901-1903), died. His parents always told him he was the reincarnation of his brother. (That explains a lot, you know.)
… one religion has an official definition of “sundown”? In Orthodox Judaism, it is officially sundown when you cannot tell the difference between a red thread and a black one in ambient light. (Silly me, I thought sundown was when the sun went down. Shows what I know.)
Now … you know!
If Hack Stone were ever to open a Central American sandwich shop, it would be called The Salvador Deli.
I’m stealing that.
Puns remain the lowest form of humor, but they sure seem to sell sandwiches.
CW wrote… “May the real reason for the season always be in your hearts and minds, even while you’re doing your part to help out old Santa.” Testify!
I’m baking a Red Velvet Birthday Cake, with Butter Cream Icing, to help Celebrate the First (ht2 Hack Stone) Coming of The Former Jewish Carpenter from Nazareth. Anybody else read for His Second Coming? Imma planning on helping Him turn over tables, and chase folks with whips & such. Oven was already heated up from the Real Southern Buttered Milk Cornbread (sans sugar…the sugar went into the cake…and the molassas cookies) that I made to go along with this big ol’ crocket pot of beef beast chili.
Another fine job on the Trivia, again, Good Sir. I have a shotgun rider so it looks like I’ll be able to drive south to get my ‘Zon purchased gift(s) from The Baby Girl. The Mother hens won’t let me drive that far by myself.
Merry Christmas and Happy Deadline Making.
“His parents always told him he was the reincarnation of his brother.”
That is weird enough to melt your clock.
😜
A Merry Christmastide to all my fellow deplorables.
May God grant you grace, peace, comfort in struggles and strength to endure them.
“Je veux l’insécurité et l’inquiétude.
Je veux la tourmente et la bagarre
Et que vous me les donniez, mon Dieu, définitivement.
Que je sois sûr de les avoir toujours
Car je n’aurai pas toujours le courage
De vous les demander.”
I had not read that before.
I find it is known as “The Paratrooper’s Prayer” –
For my fellow Deplorables who’ve not learned French either:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paratrooper%27s_Prayer
I’ve always preferred the title “Zirnheld’s Prayer,” after the author (If one can request a Valor Friday subject, I’d be very interested in one on Aspirant André Zirnheld) – regardless of title, it is a warrior’s prayer on the highest level.
Apparently, at the moment, it is still legal to have sex with animals in Washington DC. This could be the inspiration for the Washington DC Tourism Board new campaign, “Man’s Best Friend With Benefits”.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/12/13/dc-council-cat-declawing-pet-custody/
In related news…
https://www.foxnews.com/media/kamala-harris-complains-media-doesnt-adequately-cover-strength-my-leadership
Kamala Harris complains media doesn’t adequately cover ‘strength of my leadership’
Kamala couldn’t lead a turd down the bowl.
So, one can lead a dog to Kamala but cannot make it hump her?
No, but Willie Brown will.
Nicely phrased.
The Babylon Bee did it again!
3 minute video…”Biden, Did You Know…” (Christmas Song Parody)
“In this parody of “Mary, Did You Know?”, we chronicle all the wonderful things the Biden administration has done for us this holiday season. And we wonder: did he know?”
Not first!
Flights home today were a no-go. Thankfully I got my shit done and was able to fly to Casa de Sparky yesterday morning.
Already had a (small) tree fall on the shed, and a tree down the hill took out the power line for the road. Fortunately the generator started on second pull and we have only needed it for four hours (so far.)
This may be true in some homes.. 😉 😎
4 minute video…Merry Christmas!
“My Wife is Freezing A Parody Of “Don’t Stop Believin'” By Journey”
To Our Very Own Beloved Punster Jeff LPH 3 63-66…
We thought about you during this Holiday Season and wanted to share this classic SNL skit/song with you.
4 minutes.
“Weekend Update: Adam Sandler on Hanukkah – SNL”
“After noticing a lack of Hanukkah tunes, Adam Sandler decided to sing a Hanukkah song about all the famous Jewish people you might not know about such as David Lee Roth, Goldie Hawn and The Three Stooges. [Season 20, 1994]”
“First Female Army Reservist Graduates Infantry Officer Training:
https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2022/12/22/first-female-army-reservist-graduates-infantry-officer-training/
“A second lieutenant who serves as a scout platoon leader in her Hawaii-based Army Reserve unit is the first female Army Reservist to begin her career as an infantry Officer.”
“Second Lt. Anna Zaccaria graduated from the Infantry Basic Officer Leader Course on Dec. 16.”
“Zaccaria is assigned to the 100th Battalion, 442nd Infantry Regiment at Fort Shafter, Hawaii.”
“She is exactly the type of officer this Nation’s Army craves – competent, courageous, and dedicated to being the best,” said Brig. Gen. Mark W. Siekman, Commanding General, 9th Mission Support Command.”
“The Lieutenant not only graduated but also earned a spot on the Commandant’s List and won the Ironman Award, according to the statement. Only the top 20% of the infantry course graduates make the list.”
“West Point Is Removing Confederate Symbols From Campus”
https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2022/12/22/west-point-is-removing-confederate-symbols-from-campus/
“Before turning against the U.S. military to command the Confederate army, Robert E. Lee served as the superintendent of West Point, the hallowed military academy that produced patriots like Ulysses S. Grant, Douglas MacArthur and Dwight Eisenhower.”
“But in the coming days, the storied academy will take down a portrait of Lee dressed in his Confederate uniform from its library, where it has been hanging since the 1950s and place it in storage. It will also remove the stone bust of the Civil War’s top southern general at Reconciliation Plaza. And Lee’s quote about honor will be stripped from the academy’s Honor Plaza.”
Trying not to let this cancel culture piss me off. Nope, not succeeding. We’ve been following this, sadly my own RINO Kongress Klowne Kritter is on the re-naming commission. I guess they don’t teach Bobby Lee’s tactics on the Sand Tables a CGSC anymore. DS1 was won using his Chancellorsville Tactics. Do they teach that the “patriot” Grant was a drunk that won the title of “The Butcher” at Cold Harbor and only won due to having overwhelming numbers of cannon fodder and supplies. And that Grant had the most corrupt cabinet in Presidential history. How is “Dugout Doug” presented? Doug damned sure wasn’t the Warrior his Daddy was. And Ike? I like Ike. He was the best clerk that Georgie Patton ever had. He got credit for the work of others but did warn us of the MIC, so there is that.
I’ll take the artifacts that these bastards are removing. 🇸🇴
There was a reason it was named Reconciliation Plaza. And Bobby Lee had more Honor under his fingernail than these wokesters have in their combined entirety. 80 million Americans are descended from a Confederate Soldier. I’ll just leave this here;
They are not interested in reconciliation, but in exacerbating discord.
The nobility of our forefathers has been corrupted to filth.
Every one of those woke snotweasels crusading to remove and rename will one day have to answer for their action, the question is which life it will take place in.
Imposters? Just say ‘NO.”
https://valorguardians.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/deer-reindeer.mp4
“SEAL Team 1 Commander Found Dead In San Diego Residence”
https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2022/12/21/seal-team-1-commander-found-dead-in-san-diego-residence/
“Cmdr. Robert Ramirez III, commanding officer of SEAL Team 1, was found dead in his San Diego County residence Monday.”
“Naval Special Warfare Command officials said in a statement Wednesday that foul play is not suspected to have played a role in the decorated officer’s death.”
“Ramirez enlisted in 1996 and was commissioned in 2004.”
“He took command of SEAL Team 1 last month and arrived to the unit in June..”
“His awards and decorations accrued over nearly 27 years of service include five Bronze Star Medals, two with the Combat “V” device denoting valor and acts of heroism.”
“Ramirez also has three Combat Action ribbons and medals for the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns, among many others.”
“He is the second SEAL team commander to die in roughly the past year.”
Clot shot?
Or angry husband?
(I know, I know, the story said “foul play is not suspected”, but……had to ask it anyway. hehehe)
“Auctioned Revolver Nets Nearly $1M. Previous Owner: Theodore Roosevelt”
https://www.navytimes.com/off-duty/military-culture/2022/12/21/auctioned-revolver-nets-nearly-1m-previous-owner-theodore-roosevelt/
“A Smith & Wesson revolver belonging to former President Theodore Roosevelt fetched a handsome price when the brisk chant of the Rock Island Auction Company’s auctioneer finally came to an oxygen-saving conclusion.”
“The weapon, which netted a staggering $910,625 by the time the auctioneer’s gavel signaled the final bid, is a .38 Long Colt-chambered No. 3 single-action revolver that was presented to then-Col. Roosevelt on May 12, 1898, a day that coincides with his departure for San Antonio to train with the Rough Riders for eventual combat against Spanish forces in Cuba.”
“It’s likely Roosevelt intended for the weapon to be carried into war against Spain, according to documentation compiled by Rock Island. Instead, the Bull Moose carried a Colt Model 1892 double-action revolver that was recovered from the wreckage of the USS Maine, which, following an accidental explosion, sank in 1898 in the Havana Harbor. Despite the nature of the ship’s demise, national hysteria and calls for war with Spain ensued.”
“After the Spanish-American war, the eventual president held on to the Smith & Wesson revolver, later placing it each night on his bedside at the White House, according to paperwork kept by Roosevelt’s longtime bodyguard and family friend, James Amos.”
“In addition to the revolver, Rock Island Auction Company also auctioned off an Ames-inscribed presentation sword and scabbard designed for Confederate Brigadier Gen. Paul J. Semmes, who was mortally wounded during the Battle of Gettysburg. The sword was sold for just over $175,000.”
As referenced in the latest issue of “American Rifleman,” a Colt Model 1873 Single Action Army sold to the Army in 1891 and auctioned by Rock Island Arsenal this year sold for $763,750. The revolver was in pristine condition and likely was bought by Uncle Sam for between $15 and $18.00. Even the modern third generation Colt SAA’s that sold for about $1200 a few years ago are now worth over $2K, depending on caliber and barrel length.
The S&W Model 3 was an updated version of the Cavalry’s Schoffield .45 revolver. Another version was sold to Russia in .44 Russian caliber.
*** ANNOUNCEMENT ***
Please don’t forget to attend this year’s ‘TAH Christmas Party’, or as we like to say, the ‘TAH Non-Denominational Holiday Mixer’ to not offend the woke folks.
Who am I kidding? It’s happening right now, right here in the Open Thread. There will be no face-to-face. The crazies pretty much ruined that.
*** END ANNOUNCEMENT ***
“NAVY RELEASES FINDINGS FROM INVESTIGATION INTO APRIL 2022 DEATHS OF THREE USS GEORGE WASHINGTON SAILORS”
https://www.usff.navy.mil/Press-Room/News-Stories/Article/3250361/navy-releases-findings-from-investigation-into-april-2022-deaths-of-three-uss-g/
“Today, Commander, Naval Air Force Atlantic released the results of a command investigation into the deaths of three USS George Washington (CVN 73) Sailors that occurred in April, 2022.”
“Besides being assigned to the same ship undergoing an extensive shipyard maintenance period, the investigation concluded the Sailors had no social or working relationships with one another. The findings also indicated that each Sailor was experiencing unique and individualized life stressors, which were contributing factors leading to their deaths.”
Clot shot?
A very Lemmy Christmas, to all.
OFKg3Eqk2iI
Free boosters for season?
“THE JOE BIDEN CHRISTMAS SONG”
1 minute parody… 😉 😎
“JOE BIDEN AND FRIENDS SING AND PERFORM A CHRISTMAS PARODY OF “HERE COMES SANTA CLAUSE” JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS”
Wishing a Merry and Blessed Christmas to all my TAH family.
The new AID package for Ukraine?
MIRVulous.
It’s a blast!
Happy Shwanza from Nancy:
https://www.foxnews.com/media/pelosi-mocked-wishing-americans-happy-shwanza-during-final-speech-house-speaker
That is because Kongress is giving us the Schwanz right in our taxpayer rearend for Christmas.
The Schwarz is strong with that one.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all at TAH!
Bah. I hate you all.
Lost that lovin’ feeling?
😂
Now Ed, you can’t fool us.
Merry Christmas.
Enjoy the Jingle Bells background music.
The ONLY response by Teddy Daniels
since his phony shadow box was laid out in public,
was to post 1 additional photo of himself on the Book of the Fake.
A photo at a 2012 Army ball, wearing Class A and ribbons.
1 Army Commendation Medal,
1 Army Achievement Medal,
at 0 years, 11 months in service… BEFORE his deployment.
Considering the U.S. Army verifies only 1 ACM and 0 AMM in 2022…
What are the odds?
[Teddy Daniels’ 5 Jingle Medals ornaments. Ted has 8 medals, NOT 13 as he displays, acc. to US Army.]
New Book of the Fake public group cover photo.
Sad,
that chronic liars like this run for high office(s),
like Congress and/or Lt. Governor,
and come close to being elected.
Phonying medals for 10 years,
being exposed came after the fact.
Imagine IF he had won, and was sitting in office already,
or about to take office in January 2023.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/therealteddydaniels
Nothing says “I celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior” than busting a few caps in a crowded mall while people are trying to finish their Christmas shopping.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/minnesotas-mall-of-america-shooting-leaves-1-dead-1-grazed-no-suspect-in-custody-police
Hack Stone had a tradition of going onto the Facebook page for Donkey Cartel each Christmas Eve sending his condolences for the fallen aspiring/expiring rapper in Charlotte NC who was senselessly gunned down just because he busted a few caps in the mall Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, it appears that Donkey Cartel’s Facebook no longer exists. Hack sure does miss being called a “milkshake” by one of his fans.
https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=63505
What a loss to African-American culture.
Anyone remember the photo for the Christmas Weekend Open Thread way back in 2015?
Yeah, that wannabe pilot and that T-bird guzzling fool whatshisname with a PuRpLe sUiT, I’d forgotten all about him.
sLUrPeR41 seems to have gone dark for several years.
Despite his repeated threats, he never did cometh.
Wow, weekend already? I award myself Honorary First once again.
((((OVER))))