Space Force- New Grooming Standards and More

| May 28, 2022

Proposed Space Force Dress Uniform

One might think a service branch as new as the Space Force wouldn’t have had time to amass the gravitas, the inertia of a major military organization. One might be wrong.

After making unfortunate decisions in uniforms, the Space Force boldly goes on in new grooming standards.

Oh yes, they did. David sends.

Space Force Will Allow Neck Tattoos, Longer Mustaches and More Makeup Options for Guardians

Thomas Novelly

Space Force Guardians are allowed to have more tattoos and longer mustaches and will be able to use more types of makeup while in uniform, according to new grooming and dress policies for the service.

The new policy, unveiled Tuesday, eases mustache restrictions at the outer corners of the mouth; increases color options for nail and lipstick to allow variations for women’s skin tones; lets men wear inconspicuous concealer or foundation to cover up scars and blemishes; and grants new tattoo locations.

Not sure I want to know where the new tat locations are. I suppose it shouldn’t really be surprising. The Space Force was born “woke” after all.

Thanks, David.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Guest Link, Space Force

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President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neande

Space Force?! More like Space Farce!

Reminds me of Captain Lincoln F. Sternn from Heavy Metal:

Last edited 2 years ago by Anonymous

You mean Space Balls.


Doing everything the absolute wrong way.


Those trousers were Big Mike’s idea after the Ellen incident.

You can’t unsee it. The dark truth, no matter how large and veiny, ALWAYS comes to Light.

Last edited 2 years ago by Roh-Dog
President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neande

Looks like… “she”….put those pants on…..backwards. Yes, that’s the ass seating end on the front.


As a woman maybe she thought the fly belonged in the rear.


She stole the coat from General Butler.


lets men wear inconspicuous concealer or foundation to cover up scars and blemishes

Say what now? This is a thing? Of course it is, it’s 2022.

Used to be a time, not all that long ago, that men in the military were proud of their red badge of courage. Now, they cover it with makeup.


“Men”? How… quaint.


Space Force be like!

Commissioner Wretched

If you ask me – and you didn’t – the perfect Space Force uniform was simple.

The Air Force uniform (Tony Nelson variety), in black, with silver highlights.

Simple. Easy.


Which, with the judicious addition of some silver skulls, stylized eagles, lightning flashes and the occasional swastika, could be cross decked to Obama’s proposed Civilian Security Force… 🤔 

Commissioner Wretched

I think that’s kind of the reason why they didn’t go with that.


Well, with that insignia they wanted, they’ve could’ve just gone full Trek:
comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Anonymous
Commissioner Wretched

I actually thought of a way to do the sleeve striping with modern stuff … use silver braid with black squares like Navy warrant officer braid, and solid silver braid. You get the same effect.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

The uniforms that the crew members of the Quark space garbage clean up patrol are neat but not only neat but boss.

Hack Stone

That was a great show. For those with a short memory, Quark was a ScFi comedy broadcast Friday nights on NBC. Starred Richard Benjamin as the Commander of a garbage scowl. There are probably episodes posted on YouTube. More to follow…

Hack Stone

Hack Stone

In Space no one can hear you bitch about having DNCO over the holiday weekend.


Da Hell and da phuque!!???!??? I guess, now, when some Space Force troop hollers out, “Let’s hear it for Maybelline”, they’re not talking about an old Chuck Berry tune?


I am officially retired in 27 days.

Fuck me. It’s gonna be a long 27 days.


Congrats! Now get out there, get a federal job and join us eebil double or triple dipping retirees on the government teat! It’s awesome!


Look on the bright side…the Air Force may not be the most picked-, looked-down-on service anymore. ‘Specially with those spiffy-cut pants.

Mike B

Well I guess Space Force, will be getting a lot of the hate the Air Force use to get……

Plus we’re no longer the youngest military branch! So some good things have come out of this farce.

USAF Retired

Last edited 2 years ago by Mike B

Now the Coasties have someone to pick on.


What about the navy’s gray service dress from WW2? Space Force should borrow that and repurpose it for their use. Seriously, it looks pretty sharp imo, and would distinguish it from the other services. I mean no one else uses gray in their uniform color scheme.
Navy Gray Uniform – Bing images

Mike B

Ah hell that looks like someone splattered paint all over their uniform……

USAF Retired


Looks like he blew a seal.


Just ice cream!

Commissioner Wretched

You should really leave his personal life out of this, SFC D.  😅 


[…] last, but, not least, This ain’t Hell… features the “grooming” standards of the Space […]

The Pirates Cove

jeff LPH 3 63-66

I don’t know why the Military doesn’t check out the uniforms that Capt Video and his video Rangers, Ed “Buzz” Corey and his space patrol, Space cadet Tom Corbett And Commander Cody wore. They were real snazzy uniforms.


The more I see of this the more I’m convinced it’s an elaborate, drawn out joke.

Slow Joe

I was gonna say something funny and witty about that uniform and the model wearing it, but I would get canceled, doxxed, canned, buried, and my children’s children would still be paying for that politically incorrect comment for centuries to come.

The Stranger

Pinche José Lento…I expected better than that from you.

Oh wait, you drink Bud Light, no I didn’t!

Hack Stone

Hack Stone is just wondering who will be pulling targets for the Photon Rifle Range Qualifications? If they are anything like the Imperial Storm Troopers from Star Wars, those guys, and gals, and whatever genders enlist, will be worn out waving the Maggie’s Drawers.


I really don’t understand this (Space Force’s) outfit’s thinking. (Is it just me or does anyone else laugh when they say, Space Force?)

Just go with the USAF uniform and get your own 10 or 12 badges and call it good. More than that, call it something other than silly and laughable. Their gonna get a hard time from the other branches at get-togethers.

This is a huge waste of money, when the USAF uniforms are already in the supply chain. If you want to be different, honestly no one is doubting that. But do it with performance in a common uniform. Stand out with excellence, not with some airy-fairy notion of fashion sense


It’s really like they took the absurd and disliked parts of the Air Force and just cranked it up to 11.


Pronouns on Space Force nametapes in 3, 2, 1…. 😜 


Space Force is indistinguishable for satire.



Last edited 2 years ago by Commissar
Planet Ord

It’s cool with me. If you want new people, you gotta deal with new stuff. In my time it was some pittance towards college. Now, it’s acceptance of individuality while wearing a uniform. Yep, it can be done. Everyone wins. Except those that are offended by individuality.