Russian MP demands Alaska back from U.S.

| March 16, 2022

Oleg Matveychev made some demands, from the United States, while on a talk show in Russia. He demanded that Alaska be returned to Russia, that a previous Russian settlement also be returned, as well as reparations from the “damages” from the sanctions. He also claimed that the Antarctic belonged to Russia.

From Fox News:

The demands include the return of Alaska, which the U.S. purchased from the Russian Empire in 1867 as part of the Alaska Purchase, and the former Russian settlement of Fort Ross, California, 90miles north of San Francisco.

“We should be thinking about reparations from the damage that was caused by the sanctions and the war itself, because that too costs money and we should get it back,” Matveychev said during a Sunday interview.

He also called for the “return of all Russian properties, those of the Russian empire, the Soviet Union and current Russia, which has been seized in the United States, and so on.”

Afterward, he was asked if he meant Alaska and Fort Ross.

“That was my next point. As well as the Antarctic,” he said. “We discovered it, so it belongs to us.”

Based on this guy’s demands, it appears the West’s “special economic operations” seem to be working. Fox News has additional details here.

Category: Russia

64 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Roh-Dog

Alaska is not available for parley, but the bulk of Commiefornia is… warts and all.

Good luck San Fran-sick-oh!

5JC

Hell yes every inch of Los Angeles for free, today, just to show good faith. I’d consider keeping Northern and Eastern CA but only if they build a huge wall.

Roh-Dog

The hugest, most beautiful wall. People will say, ‘thats a mighty fine wall’. Everyone will love it, believe me.

AW1Ed

And in the middle of that wall we’ll have a big beautiful gate.

Which will be kept locked and closely guarded.

A Proud Infidel®™

They get and HAVE to keep Malig-Nancy Pelosi as a condition for taking San Foo-foo.

SFC D

MEMORANDUM FOR: Oleg Matveychev.

SUBJECT: Demands.

Mr. Matveychev,

In regards to your recent demands, the official response follows:

GO FUCK YOURSELF!

V/R

America.

Anonymous

Dear Russky Dork,
comment image

Last edited 3 months ago by Anonymous
Mason

Come and take it.

Anonymous

Hey, didn’t the Babylon Bee mention something like this?

Graybeard

The Bee is starting to read more like prophecy than satire.

How frustrating is it that great satirists cannot keep ahead of the insanity of the Left and other socialists?

STSC(SW/SS)

This is simple.

Get rid of Putin or get bent

Ex-PH2

How do you say “Go pound sand sideways” in Russian?

Amateur Historian

My best attempt with Google Translate:

Иди по песку боком

Amateur Historian

Which can also apparently also means: Walk sideways on the sand.

Amateur Historian

Omit one also.

MustangCryppie

Идите нахуй!

The standard Russian version of “Go Fuck Yourself”.

Not a literal translation, but gets the point across.

Amateur Historian

Heh, better than my attempt.

MustangCryppie

Those years as a Russian linguist in the Navy have to count for SOMETHING!

AW1Ed

Fess up, MC. That was the first phrase you learned in Monterey.
*grin*

jeff LPH 3 63-66

Time to bring back the Dew Line and Radar Picket ship USS Guardian AGR 1 and my friend who was an RD3 served onboard from 1955-1958 and looked for Russian bombers flying over the horizon. at 85, I;m sure he can hack the small shit.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

Error on my previous comment. It’ supposed to be ” Don’t sweat the small shit”

AW1Ed

Shit my LPO taught me-
“Don’t sweat the petty things. And don’t pet the sweaty things.”

KoB

Sure Ivan, you can have them back….soon as you pry them from our cold, stiff fingers. Remember, there’s a coupla hundred million weapons in the hands of American Patriots. Even your nukes can’t kill us all. We’ll be waiting on you.

Ex-PH2

You forgot to include that some of us also cook, Big Guy.

Devtun

What next? They want the hypersonic jet fighter, MiG-31 Firefox, returned?

Mick

They want the Red October to be returned, too.

AW1Ed

That movie nearly didn’t insult me.

AW1 Rod

Hmmm…..I can’t seem to locate the bow doors for the magnetohydrodynamic drive.

Typhoon SSBN (Project 941).jpg
5JC

The weird thing is Clancy wrote a perfectly acceptable theoretical drive and they replaced it with one that made no sense. It is almost like they were trying to insult people.

Graybeard

Clancy had a knack of seeing where some weapons development was going.
Some other stuff (e.g. his fawning portrayal of Philip) – not so much

Anonymous

The Russkies’ new Borei-B (Project 955B) SSBN actually has quiet water jet propulsion just like the Red October… but they opted for four more regular Borei-A subs as cheaper. (The next class of new SSBNs, however,… )
comment image

Last edited 3 months ago by Anonymous
AW1 Rod

The Brits have been using pump-jet rotor and stator propulsion technology since the ’70s, in the Trafalgar and Swiftsure class SSNs, and Vanguard SSBN.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

My submarine worked great in the bathtub or kitchen sink on baking soda. Anyone remember them.

Anonymous

Yup, got it out of a box of Cap’n Crunch.

Last edited 3 months ago by Anonymous
jeff LPH 3 63-66

Where are the screen doors????

AW1Ed

Back in ‘76 it was a MiG-25 Foxbat.

The Aviationist

A Proud Infidel®™

The one with a steel frame!

Anonymous

Stainless steel, just like Russky dentistry!

AW1 Rod

Note to Oleg:

Bag O Dicks.jpg
Amateur Historian

If I may wonder aloud, if this out there demand becomes an official position of the Ruskie government, what are the odds that the Resident in the WH would seriously consider that demand?

5JC

He would send the First Lady, Kamala Harris to bang out a negotiation.

Mick

— SIGH —

Don’t let Jeff see you doin’ that…

AW1Ed

Or ChipNASA.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

I’m banging my head thinking of a reply Mick but at this time nothing so I’ll pass.

David

Maybe “hoping she doesn’t blow it?” Maybe “she sucks at detail work and needs to e a bit more anal about it?”

5JC

Just need time to let the sanctions work. They are already having an effect. This guy is already down like 20lbs.

https://nypost.com/2022/03/14/russian-mcdonalds-fan-chains-himself-to-eatery-to-stop-closing/

timactual

It said the police took him away. I am wondering how since all the tank recovery vehicles are away in Ukraine.

5JC

The war is over. The UN International Court of Justice has ordered Russia to withdraw from the Ukraine.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/16/un-international-court-of-justice-orders-russia-to-halt-invasion-of-ukraine

The Stranger

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh wait, you were serious?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Like that’s going to work.

timactual

Allow me to add a HAHA of my own.

5JC

The Massive UN Army that was dead set to conquer Merica with blue helmets ascending from Manhattan will not be turned on Russia. It’s just like Star Wars 3.

Graybeard

The UN may be the only thing more useless than the current administration.

Anonymous

Well, the Locarno Pact of 1925 outlawed war in Europe, you know!

DocV

Molon Labe!

5JC

Seeing how in the latest polls 62% of Democrats would flee the country in case of an invasion I am strongly in the “pro invasion” camp.

David

well, we bought it under treaty, voluntarily on their part. They want it back, they would have to pay purchase price adjusted for inflation and a reasonable increase in market value. I suspect that would come out to somewhere around a kazillion dollars, Putin’s head, and Matveychev’s testicles.

A Proud Infidel®™

Oleg Matveychev, go fuckski yourselfski.

A Proud Infidel®™

Here’s another Russkie Oligarch whose yacht is stuck in Norway because everybody there refuses to sell him fuel for it:

A Russian oligarch’s superyacht is stuck in Norway because no one will sell it fuel : NPR

Commie-Tsar

The Commissariat approves of this transaction! We want to suckle at the bosom of Communism, no matter what the cost is!

Twist

Sorry Oleg, we kept the receipt from our purchase

Joel

Sorry, buddy, you already cashed the check. No refunds.

A Proud Infidel®™

OOPSKI Comrade, all saleski finalski!!!

5JC

Putin has arrested more treasonously incompetent Generals including the Deputy Commander of the National Guard.

For those not familiar with current military/ security structure in The Russian Federation the National Guard is very different than USARNG. It is Putin’s private Army created in 2016 with the goal of anti-terror, anti-gun and border security.

It played heavily in the initial invasion of the Ukraine and making up the vanguard of the troops in the operation. They pretty much got it handed to them.