| March 14, 2022

Look, Delta Whiskies, the coveted title of “First” is earned, never given, to the first commenter who posts correctly on the Friday Weekly Open Thread, or WOT. The event is recorded in The Book of Firsts, and the winner enjoys bragging rights for the rest of the week. Or something.

Stating “first” on any other post is meaningless, and is getting annoying. I can see some confusion among the FNG’s, but you old salts know better.

Some enjoy the weekly friendly competition, some don’t. But please keep your “first” comments contained to the WOT, or I’ll have to go all Admin on yo’ ass.

Thank you for your cooperation.

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Nice try.



Damn Squid!


Heh heh heh.


Too bad you missed it. Ed, you must not be too quick on the draw.


You forgot “FRIST!”


Our very own AW1Ed was the one who started the tradition “FIRST!” on WOT…




Ahem, excuse me, but as the Keeper of the Coveted Book of WOT Firsts, (for the past seven plus years) I must correct you on who started the tradition. It was A Proud Infidel®™ who initially posted (OOH,FIRST) at 4:40 pm on the 02 Jan 2015 Weekend Open Thread.

However, the consistent posting of a “First” didn’t start until 24 Apr 2015 when AW1 did post a First, but no First was claimed by anybody on the 01 May 2015 WOT, but from then on, it has been a tooth & nail Battle Royale for the top spot each week.


Claw: Thank You so much for the correction…The ninja family needs to write that information for future reference, because we keep forgetting what you previously shared with us reference API and AW1Ed being the first “FIRST!”:


Thank Goodness we have you as our TAH Supply Daddy! All those years of you keeping the Troops straight logistical wise is paying off! After all, SOMEONE has to do it! 😉😎

BTW, WELCOME BACK! You were missed!


Welcome Home indeed, Claw Daddy. Had just sent a ping a little bit ago to our Nautically Designated Eye in the Sky/Whirlybird Jumper Outofer to launch a SAR for you. He made mention that you have a tendency to go on a walkabout now and again.

A Proud Infidel®™

Well damn, you mean ‘lil ‘ol Dickweed MOI started it? Hey, that gives ME the title of “First First”!


“First shirt”

Frankie Cee

By Jan 2015, I had been reading and commenting at TAH for 8 1/2 years. I followed COB6 over, then Ol’ Poe, the esteemed Mr. Vaughn came on, just before Ol’ War Dogs blog was closed. It was a good run.


Everybody gets a trophy!


Have to admit, the ninja family was tempted to write “FIRST!” on this post…😉😎


Ed: I guarantee you that down the road, one of us TAHers will not remember what you wrote. i.e. ..”please keep your “first” comments contained to the WOT”…

Just watch…

Anyone who is a parent knows what the ninja family is talking about…


RGR 4-78

Friend I’m Real Sorry Though, it is more like herding cats.



As a parent and grandparent and (former) teacher and (current) church preschool volunteer – let me be the FIRST to confirm ninja’s observation.


Is that how it works?

I’ll make sure to write this very important data down…. on the underside of a coaster. First (h/t to The Hackiest of Stones) have to finish this beer.

Stand-by to standby.

The Stranger

Well, in that case, I have only one thing to say:




I wuz gonna holler FIRST (ht 2 Hack Stone) on this thread when it FIRST dropped, but FIRST I had to take me a nap. Fried chimken, smashed taters, buttered beans, and hoecakes will do that to you. No Chip, not that kind of Ho Cakes! Can we still speak of food when it’s not a Thursday are for Cooking Thread? Asking for a friend. Speaking of which, good to see Friend pop in the other day. Now if nobunny could hop by and Hatchet bring his cutting commentary. And Claw Daddy has been MIA of late. Is the Coveted Book of FIRST been retired along with the Whiz Wheel?

Surely our Beloved Kid Squid (ht 2 Poe) hasn’t lost that loving feeling for us. Has his heart gone cold as ice, man? Did he go all maverick when Commander Pink Robe changed the format to read “Be the FIRST to Comment” causing folks to comment “FIRST”? Beware flying in the Danger Zone. I think he has been working too hard and needs a FIRST Class VaKay. Or a plate of sausage gravy and biscuits?


Rut Roh…This doesn’t bear well for the Gun Bunny, The King of Battle, THE King of FIRST. Imma gonna go hide out in the other thread.





Speaking of “That Movie”…

This article was written in August 2018. The article announced that “That Movie was going to be postponed for release until 2020:


So here we are…almost 4 years later…and now the new release date is May 2022…

Course it is all Putin’s fault….😉😎

Can’t wait for “That Movie Part 3″…I say with tongue in cheek/sarc because I never saw the original 1986 “That Movie”…

Mick Weeps.




We hate you too, ninja!!!

It will NEVER end, will it (not a question).


Mick :





BDA = 100/100


Bring in the Artillery!!!

KoB, Where Are You???




ninja, even a blind goat will find its way to the right end of a field now and again. Going by the news headline from the other day, Imma gonna say some of them Army Boys got hooked up with The Artist Formerly Known as Hunter. And remember, the only lame Army Movie was Stripes and it set out to be a farce comedy. Haven’t heard a word about a release date for Stripes 2.




Please note that a USMC Naval Aviator was first, and a USN Naval Aircrewman was a close second. The Wings of Gold win again.

And all of you earth-bound Doggies were just standing down there in the dirt, staring up into the sky with your mouths agape, watching Naval Aviation chalk up yet another TAH “kill”.

BTW, and I’m taking the liberty of speaking for AW1Ed here as well, we still hate you.


Point of Order My Aerial Artillery Platform Operating Good Sir. In order to claim the Coveted Title of FIRST, one must use the proper context/syntax by stating First or 1st. You didn’t. “Nice try AW1” quote end quote. And as our Beloved AW1Ed pointed out, as a dashboard keyholder, he is ineligible to claim FIRST post bragging rights. More so, since it was his thread. Taking away Chip’s post, and his inability to spell (FRIST/fist), that takes us to our own very best (GO) Army (BEAT NAVY) ninja that actually used the word FIRST in the comment. Thus forth and ergo, Army for the win.

Sooo…Instead of loving me til the end of time…you’re praying for the end of time… to hurry up and arrive?






“And all of you earth-bound Doggies were just standing down there in the dirt, staring up into the sky with your mouths agape, watching Naval Aviation”

Create vapor trail dicks and balls? 😜  😜  😜 


The trophy for second is in the ladies room.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

AYE AYE Ed, Roger that and Over and out.

A Proud Infidel®™

Okay then, I award myself Honorary First once again!


Green Thumb

You guys need to get out more.

Just saying…….


Speaking of, it was a nice day here in mid-CT so I decided to make a day of it. After throwing a check at the bank I decided some lunch chow was in order. Needed coffee and decided sushi so to combine the two I settled on Whole Foods.
Since I hadn’t been there in two years, much out of revulsion of the folks that shop there, I wasn’t expecting much from my fellow America inhabitants…

Well over 60% of people still masking.

Which brings me to retort at that statement: why go out?!

There’s zombies out there!

jeff LPH 3 63-66


By any chance did you ask any of the mask wearers if they took a shower with the mask on.


Why bother? Most of them probably just do what their wife tells them.


I still occasionally see mask morons riding around solo in their cars. Guess they think their cars harbor the virus.


and you can bet they have NPR on the radio.

A Proud Infidel®™

IMHO riding solo in one’s car with a mask on is akin to a Bachelor going to bed solo while wearing a condom.


Oh, Shit!

Don’t be pissin’ AW1 Ed off, DW’s… he’s got the Admin hammer and the keys to the executive washroom.

The Stranger

As long as I have my E-tool, I will always have a place to drop a deuce!

A Proud Infidel®™

The E-Tool is one thing, do you keep a roll of ass paper handy as well?


From the old MREs, I have.


We had a trick with C-rat paper where you fold
it in a certain way, rip off a corner…………..


I explained that particular paper conservation method to MRS D. I was in timeout immediately. Sometimes I can’t control my inner 12-year-old.


Always being a bit of a contrarian, may ol’ Poe suggest to you, Ed, that you might increase the length of the WOT comments thread exponentially if you created a new contest:


That might give Poe a shot at winning seein’s how he’s an old late-night geezer who sleeps-in most mornings, thus having a true snowflake’s chance in hell of ever being FIRST.

Just imagine, every Friday TAH might set a new “longest thread ever” record. Hell, with this bunch of dickweeds as contestants it might run all weekend ’till you, Ed, close the thread at an arbitrary time of your choosing.

Compliments on Poe’s creative brilliance are unnecessary.

But will be accepted… 🤔  😜  🤔  😜  🤔 


C’mon you dickweeds, it’s gonna take more than three “like” votes to get the attention of Kid Squid…


I feel obliged to inform you a’too many of us ramble, post inane things somewhat randomly that get no engagement, or conform to anything even the savage would consider decent or moral.

So naturally I agree!

You can take our First! but you’ll never take our CHEESEBURGERS!


Dog, the ol’ geezer known as Poe has spent an indeterminable amount of time trying to decipher your prolific comments made in true fellow-warrior brotherhood.

He has come to the realization that TAH, with your presence and contributions, has it’s very own Joycean genius, a composer of comments that defy comprehension by the dickweed masses but are considered holy writ by the exalted few who think they do.

Ol’ Poe has but one humble request…

Could you possibly write in plain fuckin’ English so us dickweeds can understand what the hell you’re sayin’?

 😝  😜  😝 

Last edited 3 months ago by Poetrooper


I pity those exalted fews.

And I think myself more Faulkneresque, but way, way less n-words.



Imagine the can of whoopass you could open up when a
long lost sock puppet shows up. The thread would go on
forever giving the FNG’s a plethora of background info.
Sort of a “last refuge for scoundrels”


We need some new sockpuppet bait. The old stuff ain’t working so good. And sockpuppets just don’t put out the effort they once did.

Slow Joe


I might even get chance to compete in tis one…

Green Thumb

I would also argue that each individual who tries for the “First”, who does not make it, gets a “Phildo” in their avatar.

I mean, if you ain’t #1, then your are a “Phildoesque” clown. Point being, at the “flex time” cam at your local college ball game, you have the option. Flex or not.

But know this, if you get on it and get it right, hell yeah. If not, then you might want to split.

Loosley translated, cool or tool.

Lets add a little incentive the contest.

Green Thumb

And you get it for a week.


What does a Phildo look like?

RGR 4-78

Mick’s sky penis.

Mike B

Not it……Oops wrong game!


Thanks, all this newbie first crap is getting annoying.


I wonder who started the first tradition here on TAH ????


I was FIRST once. But I was also with the FIRST Sig long time ago and the three sixty FIRST Sig in the Viet of the Nam times.
We were the “elite”.

comment image

Way cool epaulet bling eh?
TAH needs to come up with a similar decoration for us firsters.

Frankie Cee

Well, as the old “Salts” and “Grunts say:
“Phuck ya where it pheels good.”
There was a time when even the Weekend Open Thread didn’t have a contest for first, as some of us who have been here since the start will attest.
I know 100% who the post is directed at, “In the Open”, so I am responding in kind.

Slow Joe

I don’t think I ever got a First….


Yes, you got a First on the WOT from way back when you were posting as ” Yef”. It occurred on the 13 Jul 2018 thread at 1:00 pm. You and Roh-Dog tied that day for the scepter.

Last edited 3 months ago by Claw

There’s ties now?!

I was under the impression…

Old tanker

Almost first

MI Ranger

Not First!


First! Ducks and runs.


^^^This guy dgaf.comment image&f=1&nofb=1