A Thursday Open Thread

| September 2, 2021

Mama Sparrow: What do you mean, you got fired?
Baby Sparrow: No, Mom, it was fired AT!

I’ve still got some anger stuck in my craw about what happened last month, so I decided to offer you a bad joke for starters, and make this a Thursday Open Thread.

Yes, I’ll be posting a cooking piece in a bit. I was thinking of roasting a whole hog, and since WDC is full of them, do you think anyone would miss them? Can you imagine any politician with an apple stuck in its mouth, without cracking up?

This one below is a good one. Some guy named B. Clark on another site posted this, so I’m giving him full credit for it.

Steam hissing out from under his hood, a Walrus pulls his convertible into a service station…

The service station attendant looks over and says “looks like you’ve blown a seal”

“No I haven’t,” says the Walrus, “I’ve just finished an ice-cream.”

And there’s the legend that St. Lawrence, who was considered a Bad Person for his generosity by using the Church’s funds to help the poverty-stricken, was martyred for it.  From the Wiki account:

As deacon in Rome, Lawrence was responsible for the material goods of the Church and the distribution of alms to the poor.[8] Ambrose of Milan relates that when the treasures of the Church were demanded of Lawrence by the prefect of Rome, he brought forward the poor, to whom he had distributed the treasure as alms.[9] “Behold in these poor persons the treasures which I promised to show you; to which I will add pearls and precious stones, those widows and consecrated virgins, which are the Church’s crown.”[5]

The prefect was so angry that he had a great gridiron prepared with hot coals beneath it, and had Lawrence placed on it, hence Lawrence’s association with the gridiron. After the martyr had suffered pain for a long time, the legend concludes, he cheerfully declared:I’m well done on this side. Turn me over![8][10] From this St. Lawrence derives his patronage of cooks, chefs, and comedians.- Wiki

Well, since I love to cook, I will find something to offer you in the way of roast beast.  And yes, your worst jokes are welcome, as is bitching and moaning and snarking and casting asparagus on political animals.

Category: Open thread

Comments (20)

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    • KoB says:

      Wasn’t even close and I just happened by. Was perusing news feeds a’huntin’ for FGS stories when I clicked back to TAH to see if we had an AYE for the deployment of the As(s)teroid of Insults in the re the lying, embellishing, abusing of the defenceless POS Bryan James White. And whump…there it was a TAH Open Thread. Now staking claim to a FIRST on a Thursday Open Thread is no where near the Glory and Prestige that the Claim of FIRST Post for the Vaunted EARNED NEVER AWARDED TAH Friday Weekend Open Thread, but it makes for good practice. And a notation of FIRST in the margins of a desk calendar can have some meaning…can’t it?

      Just snacking on some Hot n Spicy Porked Skins and a sody pop (or as we say down heah, a co-cola) a’waitin’ for the Thursdays are for Cooking Thread. There’s a crockett pot of chili a’percurlatin’ lowly as we speak, so if anyone has ta have a little something to tide them over, dip up a bowl full. Gots some new taters, zookeenies, squash with onyums gonna bake up. We’ve had a cold snap at Firebase Magnolia, temps in the mow 80s, so I can get a little intimate with the oven.

      “…casting asparagus on political animals.” That’s about all asparagus is good for. Now if you want to do up some “trees with cheese” I’m your boy. Bitching and moaning and snarking? Why I never would do that…would I?

  1. President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neanderthal B Woodman Domestic Violent Extremist SuperStraight says:

    You want to roast a politician with an apple in its mouth? I offer up to you Sir Mittens of Romney, a legend in his own mind, coifed to a “T”, dog transporter on top of cars, tap dancer down the middle of the aisle (but constantly falling to the left), a man with two mouths (and he talks out of both of them).
    TO paraphrase the immortal words of Henny Youngman, “Take my politician, PLEASE!”

    • Frankie Cee says:

      I once had a lot of respect for that prick. Once. I even donated a couple of my designs to his campaign, got one of those designs featured on CNN, and then he began to show his true colors. Fuggim.

      • David says:

        One bite and you’d never get that nasty tadte out of both sides of your mouth.

      • Frankie Cee, where have you been. Hope everything is ok.

        • Frankie Cee says:

          I had diversions that I could not ignore, and have addressed most of them. None of it was “serious health” related, but was just a mind drain. I still have tons on my mind, mostly based around financial needs, put I hope to find solutions to those soon. I will try to be here to comment more as time goes on. I am moving myself away from Social Media, so that too gives me more time to be here. I have been toying with starting another blog, writing a little,telling my stories through the pictures that I take. Thanks for asking, Jeff.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        During the Presidential Primaries one year, I got the chance to see “Mittens” Romney in person after which I went and early voted for Newt Gingrich.

  2. Frankie Cee says:

    VJ Day September 2, 2021
    76 years ago today was the end of the last war that US politicians truly “fought to win”. Japan’s surrender came only after strong leadership told the military to “do whatever must be done” and end this. Since then we have lacked the government leadership that thinks more of National Safety and Security than they do of their damned careers. Our military wins every engagement they take on, but the politicians toss the win to the enemy.
    Frankie Cee Sed It

  3. ChipNASA says:

    Hey fucktards.
    Top whatever.
    Stuck in meetings from 10 am to 1pm back to back to back.
    Lovely. And it’s finally 72, blue sky, breezy, not a cloud.
    I have a very strong memory of a day like this 20 years ago. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing about 8:45-9 am

  4. AW1 Rod says:

    The service station attendant looks over and says “looks like you’ve blown a seal.”

    I said, “Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay, pal?”

    For the Daily Double, identify the response.

  5. OWB says:

    “Just because” is plenty good enough to have an open thread any time.

  6. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Well then I claim Thursday Honorary First.