Of social distance and anger management.

| August 1, 2020

Mr. Douglas Marks, Social Distance Enforcer

-Douglas Marks confronted Victoria Pena and her son, both visitors to Miami
-They were in the Crystal Beach Suites hotel lobby when Marks fired several shots
-According to the affidavit, Marks told them ‘You aren’t social distancing’
-He has reportedly confessed to shooting, but claims it was because he was being followed, and that they were warning shots.
-No one was injured in the incident.

Cameron sends.

Florida man opens fire in hotel lobby because a mother and son weren’t social distancing, police say

Thankfully no one was injured.

A Florida man fired a gun inside a Miami Beach hotel after he became angry that a mother and son weren’t social distancing, police said.

The shooting happened at Miami’s Crystal Beach Suites Hotel on Collins Avenue. Douglas Marks reportedly entered the lobby of the beachfront hotel and noticed a mother and son sitting on a couch.

“You all aren’t social distancing,” Marks told the mother and son, according to the police report. Marks then told them, “You all need to leave.”

The mother, Veronica Pena, and her son ignored the man.

Let me take care of them, I have two people not following directions,” Marks said, according to Pena.

Marks then pulled out a firearm and fired several shots. An anonymous male witness said he shielded the mother and son during the shooting, and claimed there were “like six” shots fired.

Police say the shooter “continued to scream commands to social distance while holding the firearm and subsequently fired several shots.”


Marks was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, use of a firearm to commit a felony, and discharging a firearm in public. He was being held at Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on $11,000 bond, according to jail records.

No one available to show Mr. Marks how a Mozambique Drill is executed? Pity. Read the rest of the article here: The Blaze

Thanks, Cameron.

Category: COVID-19, Dumbass Bullshit, Guest Link

Comments (19)

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  1. ninja says:

    Please look at the picture in the link:

    Doesn’t this look as if this is the same guy in the story?


    If so, check out how he self-identifies via his Linkedin.


    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Looks the same to me, and if you look at his work record, he can’t hold down a job for any real length of time.

      Looks like he’s got a problem… a social problem… and he’s a gun owner. Geezo Pete…..

  2. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    I wonder how he likes social distancing in the local poundhimintheass lockup.

  3. NR Pax says:

    “Let me take care of them, I have two people not following directions,”

    errr…was he talking to the voices in his head?

  4. Green Thumb says:

    Obviously he did not get the job at All-Points Logistics.

    • Green Thumb says:

      Gotta work on those interviews!

    • Hack Stone says:

      He does have a call back interview. That position in Reston is still open. Everyone they offered the job to turned it down because the office they would be occupying had the stench of failure that could not be eradicated.

  5. Slow Joe says:

    So, what are the chances those charges are going to stick?

  6. Fyrfighter says:

    Sigh…. Florida again..

  7. 26Limabeans says:

    Wonder where the rounds ended up.
    Look for blood dripping from the ceiling?

  8. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    A 24K IDIOT at the very least. I wonder who got him first in the shower, Bubba or Thor?

  9. 5th/77th FA says:

    Need to just go ahead and put this mad dog down. Sometimes they’re a bad seed. From the other linkys, looks like he’s been a waste of oxygen for awhile now.

    • Ex Coelis says:

      At the very least, this ‘lil monkey definitely needs to be neutered.
      However, two of my favourite Gen J Mattis quotes do seem to reasonably support your supposition –

      1 – There are some assholes in the world that just need to be shot.’

      2 – ‘It’s quite fun to shoot them, you know. It’s a hell of a hoot. It’s fun to shoot some people.’

      • Slow Joe says:

        Mattis lost all credibility after his ego got in the way of his service as SecDef.

        I was willing to somewhat ignore his pro climate change hoax stance, but going against my President? Not cool.

        • Ex Coelis says:

          Mattis had more than his fair share of quotable quotes. Present POTUS, not so much – entirely forgettable…

        • Ex Coelis says:

          And besides, Gen Mattis was a Marine!!
          As a Marine, ‘attitude’ is NOT optional

  10. Three Florida incidents that were posted about Florida, well WTF is going on. Maybe I should mail these peeps my under the kitchen sink water purifier man’s phone number.

    • Ex Coelis says:

      The water-table must be saturated with Eau de Trump.
      Neither water-purifier-man’s phone number or calling Ghostbusters is going to help….

  11. JustALurkinAround says:

    Good samaritans come in many styles. I applaud this gentleman’s dedication to distancing.