Mike Swanson – Phony Purple Heart Recipient

| June 4, 2020

The folks at MilitaryPhony send us their work on James Michael “Doc” Swanson.  He usually goes by “Mike.”  Swanson claims on his Together We Served (TWS) profile that he was an HM1 (E-6).


A couple of other side notes on Swanson’s TWS profile:

1) LENGTH OF SERVICE – Swanson has three service stripes displayed which denote 4 years each for a claim of twelve (12) years of military service. Later, it will be shown that he had eight (8) years and nince (9) months of total service. This would mean he would display two (2) service stripes to properly represent his service.

  2) ASSIGNMENTS – Swanson has assignments listed. Later, it will be shown that this listing is accurate.  

As far as the rank of HM1, Swanson would have spent enough time in the service to make it to HM1, so that is plausible. If HM3 was the highest rank he achieved, it would seem odd for the amount of time he was in. It is more plausible that he achieved the higher ranks but was busted down due to Non-Judicial punishment (UCMJ violation) or some other reason.

In a private message to someone, he flashed a ribbon rack that showed a Purple Heart medal.

In another private message to someone else, Swanson claimed to rate three Purple Heart medals.

He sent away for his Purple Heart certificate and displayed it from a hospital bed.

Well, I wonder what the U.S. Navy has to say about that?

The Department of the Navy was also kind enough to be extra thorough stating that they didn’t see annotation of Purple Heart Awards on the DD Form 214 nor Purple Heart citations in the applicable OMPF.   They also checked an electronic awards system and did not see any annotations of Purple Heart Awards pertaining to this individual.

So, Mikey got out as an E-4 vs. his claim of E-6.  No listing of a Purple Heart, let alone three. “But what about the Purple Heart certificate?” you may ask.

There is compelling evidence that Swanson ordered the fake Purple Heart certificate from https://military-certificates.com/purple-heart-medal-usmc.htm There are several reasons we know this to be true.  As just one example, his certificate is signed by “William G. Kelley” and this is the same signature on the example certificate at military-certificates.com

What is interesting about William G. Kelley, if in fact he even exists, is that his title changes with the military service one selects when they order the certificate.  Swanson’s certificate was for the Navy and the example was from the Army.  Notice how the Kelley’s titles are different.

Swanson’s medal claims seem to be evolving as well.  Here are three separate listings of his medals for comparison.

And of course, there is a dog involved.  Allegedly Swanson tried to get a service dog but could not.  So he got a rescue dog, bought a vest and some patches to put on the dog’s vest and presto…

Swanson has aspirations with getting a Purple Heart license plate.  Maybe he will be using the Purple Heart certificate he snagged off the internet to present to the Department of Motor Vehicles and score a PH plate?   I may be wrong but I may be right.

Me thinks Swanson must be working from a Stolen Valor starter kit.  He’s checking off all the boxes.  He’s got the operator beard.  He just needs a bandana with a punisher logo on it… AND… wait for it – a bathroom selfie.

There are very reliable rumors that Mikey has been bilking people out of money by leveraging his combat-wounded story of sadness.  This has happened to more than one individual and this may put him in direct conflict with Stolen Valor laws.

Since there was money involved, a local District Attorney might be taking a strong interest.   Mikey should have been proud of what he actually did do instead of practicing his act of being a professional victim.  It’s because of shit birds like Mike Swanson that we have to deal with the stereotype that veterans are all damaged and need a pity party of civilian handouts to just make it through the day.  Oh,  and a service puppy just to draw special attention to their sorry ass.   

Knock it off Mikey,  try to shower now and then and shave that rats ass of a mug.  Pissing all over your own service is one thing,  making the rest of us smell of your stench is asking a bit too much.  



Category: Afghanistan, Navy Poser, Purple Heart, Stolen Valor, Stolen Valor Act, Valor Vultures

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5th/77th FA

Alrighty then Mr. James Michael (Doc) “Sissy Punk Asinine Piece of Sh^t” Swanson, welcome to the FIRST start of the TAH Google Foo make you inherwebz famous. Promised you last night it was coming. Bend over Bitch, you asked for it with your shitbaggery and lies. We’ll make this short and just go ahead and put in a call for the Toilet Bowl of Taunts. You are in no way qualified for the full blown HoI, tho I would imagine you have done your fair share of blowing behind the truck stop.

Lying embellisher! Somebody go and rescue that poor dog.

USMCMSgt (Ret)

James Michael “DICK” Swanson.


Douchebag. I feel bad for the guy’s dog. And WTF is the fascination with the Purple Heart with these ass clowns? Dude, come clean about your lies, accept what you are, return the cash you scammed, burn the unearned bling and report for an indefinite shit burning working party until you redeem yourself.


Cause nobody gives you freebies for having a NAM, but show off a PH and people are falling over each other giving out the bennies that come with it, earned or not.


Little cocksucker got himself a “Neener Special” to wave around. Can’t be happy that served, gotta run around with phony bling. Gotta shit all over the rest of us past and present HM’s with your fucktardedness… especially those that gave their lives and bodies to save others.



Yes, he was even kind enough to post a high enough resolution photo of the PH award that you can actually zoom in and read “PH COMMEMORATIVE” In the lower left corner. Dumbass.

Hack Stone

Does the website sell Honorary Purple Hearts? Asking for an acquaintance. (He does not qualify as a friend).


And there is a service dog too. Probably bought that patch online too. I wonder what his 1 year and 2 month down time for his NON HOSTILE INJURY/ILLNESS was? And the redacted 214, why are all the good bits like blocks 24, 26 and 27 redacted? Those three blocks can tell you a lot. Of course the mug shot is a reminder of the old adage “military fakery is just the tip of the shit iceberg”

No thanks

You would be correct. He put the patch on the dog after having it a week from a shelter to “feel what it would be like to walk thru the store with a service dog”

James Swanson

I’m actually training the dog myself. I can provide you with his documentation?

Comm Center Rat

When I first read Non Hostile Injury/Illness I thought shitbag probably made a suicide attempt.

Hack Stone

Maybe he caught a case of the combat zone hemorrhoids? Or possibly he got a “Barracks bikini wax” that went horribly wrong.


FWIW: I actually saw someone attempt to use medical treatment for hemorrhoids as a way to stay in CONUS vice returning to theater from mid-tour leave while deployed to the CENTCOM AOR.

The individual did manage to get some extra time in CONUS. But they also ended up returning to theater to finish their tour. (smile)


well I guess that’s better than the turd in my battalion that “dropped” a fridge on his foot the morning he was supposed to leave Germany after he had finished his mid tour leave.


(Who should def know better!)


This falls under the category of people that don’t need to embellish – or perhaps I should say, not make new shit up. He’s a certified Corpsman (corpse-man, sorry about that Obama) who served in The ‘Stan and got a Combat Action Ribbon. All of that is in his record. You can spin some wild ass stories with that combo and no one other than those with whom you served would be able to contradict you. Then you wouldn’t have “that ass-hole site with all those angry veterans” calling you out. Just plain F-ed up.
Could’a been “Yeah, I be pullin’ dudes outta a mine field under mini-gun fire when I went to The ‘Stan as a Corpsman and got my CAR (you can check my record)” but had to F that up.

No nonsense

The truth is um…challenging for this individual.


Guy was a legit FMF Corpsman and apparently did GOOD WORK as evidenced by the verified awards. But its still…NOT…ENOUGH. Dude, sack up and take OWNERSHIP of what you REALLY DID. It was ENOUGH.

You fucking piece of shit.


Block 24 (Character of Service) is routinely redacted in FOIA replies when a DD214 is provided. Believe it or not, Character of Service has been deemed not to be releasable under the FOIA. IMO it should be, but it currently is not.

Blocks 26 and 27 are sometimes redacted as well.


I was wondering why that was redacted. Perhaps it would make people less than desirable when it comes to hiring. At that point it could become a privacy issue. Like the medical condition of being a worthless piece of shit.

Rose Blossom

Good morning gentlemen,
I’d also like to point out that he’s using his “status” to interact with and take advantage of sympathetic Gold Star families in the area that he currently resides in. Don’t ask me how I know…..(eye roll).

James Swanson

I want to know! Or do you want me to tell them?!


Popcorn! Get your popcorn! 🍿

Rose Blossom

Popping it now….you want butter or no? 🙂


What’s the area? Here in Southeastern NC?

Daisy Cutter

The comments in regard to he did this or that but it still wasn’t good enough have their merit, but I think this is a little more sinister and goes beyond mere bragging.

If you follow his “career” it sounds like he got out and his life went down the crapper. May have even happened prior to getting out. It appears to me that he is building a false narrative to try and max out with the VA and other freebies.

Rose Blossom

Yes, I believe you are correct. He’s working the system in order to get a free ride. And drugs.

No nonsense

That is correct. He also uses his false narrative, along with many other lies, to manipulate and exploit multiple women.



Makes sense. Reading into his book of face (open but unavailable to comment), he seems as if he is the ‘struggling vet attempting to make good’. Id be interested to read an account of his service of someone that was there with him. 9 years of service and leaving as an E-4 is fishy. The MOS roadmap says he should’ve made HM2 just over 5 and HM1 just over 9. Makes me wonder what speed bumps he encountered and if they had anything to do with his decision to jettison?


James Swanson

I was undesignated the first two years of my career.
And “Daisy Cutter” dont play both sides here. You know what you’re doing. You’re just mad you fell for the “narrative”
But here we are.

Daisy Cutter

James (if this really is James):

You later became a Hospital Corpsman. That means that you were a non-combatant. You pass yourself off as a door kicker while in Afghanistan. You pose with all the scary rifles but you were issued a medical bag and a sidearm. I don’t see one photo of you with your medical bag.

That is something to be proud of – why make yourself out to be something you were not?

I didn’t fall for any narrative. I think you have me confused with someone else.

All I see is a sad excuse for a veteran that just couldn’t move on after his service. I also see someone that realizes that his service time was his high water mark in life. You appear to have no goals to better yourself. So, you will spend your time getting documentation to perhaps get a Purple Heart when they feel you did not rate one at the time. Then, it will be a PH license plate, then a service dog, then a motorcycle, then a vest adorned with unearned bling, then a bandana, more tats, list goes on…

We’ve seen all this before – hundreds of times. Why don’t you inspire us with something new and admirable instead of fitting into the tired old stereotype of a veteran that morphs himself into a tin-cup rattler? What’s next? GoFundMe?

Cowboy up, blow your nose and stop making veterans look bad.

You may think this is cruel and will most likely reject it outright, but sometimes brutal honesty is the best thing you can hope for. Everyone else will give you a wide path to spout your lies and talk about you behind your back. So consider which is better.


AMEN, Daisy Cutter…

My, My, My

Guess his CAR wasnt good enough.


FMF corpsman who earned a CAR. That’s enough to prove to anyone who knows that you did your time in the mud/sand with the grunts. Then he shits all over it.


I read that as “he tried to service dogs”

Keepin' It Real

Most likely the result of not being able to lick your own binky hole.


Apparently peanut butter isn’t a prescribed med


Another jackass with a Purple Bunghole due to excessive bruising, and confusing it with a Purple Heart.


Wears the “Lesion de Penis with nutsack cluster” for “formal occasions”.

Wilted Willy

What a shitbag! You stupid fuck, why do you have to take a shit on a good service record? I really love the fake Purple Heart certificate! My pos brother did better than that? I wonder if this cocksucker is getting any kind of disability payments from the VA??? I certainly hope a local DA puts your sorry ass in jail! I also hope the same thing happens to my pos brother!

No nonsense

Yes, he is on ssdi for his combat/TBI related injuries.

Rose Blossom

Yes. 100% “disabled” and SSDI benefits.


“Non-hostile injury?”

What did he do? Sprain a pinkie?

As I recall, Willy’s POS dental tech brother is claiming 100% disability, and while we haven’t had a progress report lately on his getting caught and punished, these things catch up with you.

I’m just curious about what this non-hostile injury was, that’s all.

My niece was an Army surgical nurse in Baghdad. While she was there, she had a hip injury that sent her to Germany, and she can’t do marathon running any more, period. So I know her injury was bad, but it was also non-hostile (meaning no one threw a bomb at her) in a combat zone. Otherwise, I wouldn’t ask.

Wilted Willy

EX, I’m very sorry to report, his sorry ass is still getting his 100% disability PTSD check every month! I hate to say I’m going to apply for SSDI since I just found out I have Parkinson’s disease. And that pos is still healthy SOB!!


Sorry to hear this, Willy. Go for the SSDI, and don’t delay on it! Period! Just do it.

Parkinson’s is a progressive disease, but it is highly individual and affects people differently. Not all people who have PD will experience all the symptoms, and symptoms may vary in their severity between patients. Different people experience progression at different speeds, as well.

Make sure that you ask your doctor to start with the lowest dosage, because the meds that are prescribed for it can have unfortunate side effects.

Sorry to hear about this. Really sorry.

Wilted Willy

Thanks Ex, sorry to say it is getting very difficult to do things with my hands because they keep flipping around like a carp on the beach! I also am having some trouble walking, when I stand up I usually pass out or fall to the ground! That’s how I broke my leg last year. I see the doc next Friday. I hope the medicine will help with all this crap!!


Me, too. Good luck with that!

James Swanson

I had a seizure on ship after being exposed to IED blasts. They are not in my service record and that’s where I fucked up. I am correcting that. There is documentation of them, my related seizures, PTSD, ETC in my medical records. I was medically retired due to those conditions. And yeah, I’m on SSDI, after being looked at by doctors and hiring a lawyer. Just like the 1.5 year long process it took for the Navy doctors to determine I suffered a TBI and PTSD, etc.
keep it coming… this is fun!


How come there is no Purple Heart documented in your records?

Where did you get that Purple Heart certificate?

Be honest. I’ll wait right here.

This is fun.


I think we’re going to be waiting awhile…..


He’s getting cheap legal advice from Frank “DOORGUNNER” Visconti…


Mrs. Swanson – please let Mikey come out and play.


I don’t think Mr. & Mrs. are a couple anymore.


I was referring to his mom. 😉

Rose Blossom

She’s on the MP website. I don’t think she knows about this one! :/


And what ship were you on? Nothing in your history of assignments to show you were on a ship?

BTW -if you didn’t get seen my a physician and have it documented by them after the IED blast, you’re not eligible for the PH – from the Navy and Marine Corps Awards Manual:

(2) For award of the PH there exist both circumstantial and severity thresholds that must both be met. First, the wound must have resulted from enemy action. Second, the wound must have been of such severity that it necessitated treatment, not merely examination, by a medical officer. If the wound does not meet both of these standards, the PH may not be awarded.

Pages 2-54 and 2-55 outline the definitions.

Lost Cause

Seizure? I’m pretty sure you passed out because you were on drugs that you were stealing from the medical office on ship. You didn’t have a seizure, you were high, just like when you got in your car accidents. You’re an ADDICT and that’s all there is to it.


He tried to turn his poochy into a service dog?

Geezo Pete, my cat needs a vest with a patch that says “Service Cat”. Where do I get one? She’s about the size of a Chihuahua.

This “person” (using that term loosely) has 8.75 years of service and he’s not happy with that? Might it be owing to not getting any higher than HM3?

If there’s an emergency and I need some kind of help, please don’t call that jackass, OK? I might bust a gut laughing and pointing.


I was gonna get Sammy the Wonderdog a vest with a patch that says “I’m not a service dog. I just like the vest”. MRS D vetoed that. Some days, Sammy needs a service dog of his own.


The Fleet Marine Force Enlisted Warfare Specialist Device and a CAR isn’t good enough for Mikey. What a POS.


Go Big or go Home

And POS is a understatement
But my wife has me placed under a no Swearing order
Because my 4 year old daughter is starting to sound like
Me when she gets mad



MRS D and I occasionally babysit a friend’s 3 year old. We were watching animal planet the other day, some gazelle gets snatched up by a gator at the watering hole. Little guy yells “OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

I’m still in timeout.


Good work. Next, go for “Pass the fucking butter” at dinner. You’ll be out of the babysitting business most ricky-tick.


Right now we’re working on “what makes the rockin’ world go round?”

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

You should have stuck to making Swanson frozen foods Swanson. Looking at his pic, I can say that maybe Swans on drugs.

No nonsense

Definitely drug abuse in his history

Daisy Cutter

What’s with the combover?

The trend nowadays is to just go bald. Somebody’s not keeping up with the times.


If he could toss it to one side and keep it
there with a pretty barette his chances of
meeting someone might improve.

A Proud Infidel®™

All that and he sports a FAKE Purple Heart.



I was wondering why it’s been so quiet lately
But this just proves there are many TURDs out here
Waiting to be exposed
Nice job jack-ass you’ve earned you google ribbon
And social whore certificate
Enjoy your fame it’s forever

Now I’m going to go and get Wall to Wall counseling’s from my wife
For cussing



NPRC is on a limited operating capacity due to COVID-19. We can still get FOIA results from the DoN and USMC. Swanson just happened to fall under more recent service in the Navy so we could get the FOIA results from DoN.

No slow down at all. We still get case submissions at the same frequency. We file with NPRC in over 90% of the cases but have to wait until mid to late summer by my guess to get responses.

We can still invoke emergency media status with NPRC, but we only like to brand that to a case when it is a legitimate emergency – i.e. someone in a stand-off with police and claims he was a Navy SEAL back in the 1980s.




keep on keepn’ on with the good work

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

I just looked at my 1962 edition of the Blue Jacket Manual and the only medals in the book that I see he has in his DD-214 are the Purple heart, NDSM, GCM, Navy Expert Rifleman and Expert Navy Pistol Shot.





Daisy Cutter

And his Facebook page is now gone.

A good indication of guilt.


no, somebody hacked him and deleted it, no really! seems to happen a alot to these guys.

James Swanson

You’ll be happy to see that it’s back up… stalker

Daisy Cutter

Your Facebook page looks a bit different now.

Did you spend all night scrubbing it?

You label me a ‘stalker’ because I looked at your Facebook page to confirm it was still up. Don’t flatter yourself. We had a pool to see when you’d take it down. I won.

Stalking is against the law. Call the police and tell them that someone is looking at your public Facebook page. They probably need a good laugh with all the other serious stuff going on.

Hack Stone

It’s damn near 700 miles from Madison Alabama to Merritt Island Florida. Will All Points Logistics be picking up the relocation fee?

Green Thumb

I imagine so.

If only Phildo had a son…..

Keepin' It Real

Dare I say it?

The Brotherhood of the NDSM took another hit today as one of our members strayed off the beaten path.



It is to weep.


“I will not compromise my [service during a declared conflict], nor my moral courage [in serving for a pay check and the likelihood that I’ll deploy, maybe slay some bodies?!]. I will not forget, nor will I allow my comrades to forget that we are professionals[-ish], [NDSM recipients], leaders[?]!”

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Hey guys, I got a NDSM, so easy does it.


Ummm, that’s kind of the point, Jeff.


When people ask me how I got mine the words
just aren’t there.

Keepin' It Real

For unconspicious gallantry while serving first enlistment…

* Works well when supervised

* Consistently sets own standards and then fails to meet them

* Help build local economy by frequenting local strip clubs

* Received McDonald’s customer of the year award for most visits to on post restaurant

* Unsuccessful in locating bag of grid squares

* Consistently leads subordinates, to local bar

* If men were to follow this individual into battle it would only be out idle curiosity

* Ponders while others are in action

* Maintains a low speed, high drag demeanor

* Works well with shiny objects

* Should attend Ranger School, for DFAC detail

* Performed job of latrine security guard with valor

* Managed to not be found restrained to floor buffer by power cord this quarter

* Thinks AR-670-1 is more of a fashion guide than a regulation

* Displays a Be, Know, Don’t attitude.

* Social hand-grenade

* Consistently carries out duties to own satisfaction

* Almost found North on a map

In performing these duties, he has upheld the highest traditions of the Army-Navy-Air Force-Marines-17th Reserve League of Women Voters.



Out standing in his field.

Not so much of a has-been, but more of a won’t-be.

Possesses a room temperature IQ.

Has delusions of adequacy.

Reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

And finally:
Is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.


A Proud Infidel®™

o Sleeps all on his own
o An Expert in shamming/skating
o An Expert in finding a hiding place in record time
o Well known for ‘appropriating” equipment from Dining Facilities
o Successfully performed Fire Watch Duty twice without supervision
o Chosen often for Police Call Duty
o Operated a Floor Buffer three times in a row without an accident causing damage
o Went one week of buffing floors in Billeting without causing a fire
o Is a fine bad example to his peers
o Causes peers to celebrate when he leaves

Keepin' It Real

* Achieved 5th level in Call of Duty


* Excellent manual dexterity


He falsely claims the Humanitarian Service Medal and my hard earned Military Outstanding Volunteer Service Medal!! *RAGE INTENSIFIES*


Not the “Purple Handjob” Medal! You have no idea of how many hours of running a chainsaw and cleaning up people’s yards I had to do to get mine, dammit!


They don’t just give those out.

You have to ask for it. 🙂


You know, we can justify bitching about these phonies and their attempts to get a disability rating with the VA, but why do we not stick together and form some organization to see to it they are exposed and stopped in their tracks? Too many D A’s are too burdened with other more serious cases; not to mention those who never served and have little understanding and less interest in prosecuting something so foreign to them. First stop I guess would be for us to find a dependable source within the VA that we could count on for following through with phonies being outed once they apply for undeserved bennies. From experience many of us have learned liberal media/journalists are RARELY going to take an interest. Again, ESPECIALLY if they never served to begin with. Not many years back I thought we had made progress exposing another fraud to his church (in Texas) where he had become a VIP. Did not accomplish anything, even getting in contact with his pastor. On the other hand TAH has had some great luck exposing frauds by contacting heads of certain organizations (VFW, A L, and others) …eventually causing the frauds to slither out the door with a one-way ticket, even after having CONvinced other members for years with their false bravado war stories. One particular fraud out in California was exposed big time with the much-appreciated help of a former service member who was a detective in the local police force at the time. Any one else interested in pursuing this?

Dennis - not chevy

Along these lines; a good first step (I think) would be to remind the politicians, DA’s, and news media types the V stands for veteran not victim. I sent a local politician an e-mail to try to convince him not everyone holding a sign stating, “Veteran, will work for food” is a veteran. I got no reply. Another time, I e-mailed a local editor his depiction of a service member was insulting; he responded by saying I was wrong and disrespecting him. He added he knows about military service because he had almost accepted a commission in the Navy.

A Proud Infidel®™

“He added he knows about military service because he had almost accepted a commission in the Navy.”

Sounds to me like he only took maybe a year or two of ROTC and backed out before making a commitment if he even did THAT!


WTF? I ALMOST thought about becoming an astronaut. So does that make me an authority on the subject of space exploration? You’ve proven a strong part of my comment Dennis-not chevy. No response from the politician does not surprise anyone. I mean, everything politicians do is predicated along the lines of, “What’s the best move for MY CAREER?” Don’t mean to be confrontational with you, but reminding politicians, DA’s, and journalists will accomplish nothing, unless one of them has served, is willing to take a stand, and has the balls to follow through with a positive response. If any in this group are contacted and have no military background to begin with, they are lost and could care less from the git go. It does sound like you also have an interest in publicly exposing the frauds such as this Swanson (By the way, isn’t there a brand of CHICKEN by the name of Swanson?) character and putting a stop to all the cons trying to get something based on a military history that is chocked full of lies. Let’s hope others see things the way we do and take an interest in moving forward. BTW, I once THOUGHT about becoming a proctologist, yet I still don’t know Jack Shitt.


On his ribbon rack/fridge magnet he has two bronze campaign stars on his GWOTEM – were campaign stars ever authorized for the GWOTEM? I thought only the ACM and ICM rated campaingn stars.

I also see what appears to be an AFSM and NATO medal, which would indicate service in the Former Yugoslavia. Any evidence that he served there? I didn’t think there were many Marines in the FRY.

(Sigh) another “damaged vet” suffering from TBI (Tiny Ball Insecurity) and PTSD (Penis Too Small Disorder.) Too bad because his actual record wasn’t anything to sneeze at.

Mike B USAF Retired

Correct, this is the USAF verbiage but I’m sure it’s the same across the board.

“Since there are no service star devices authorized at this time, members may only wear the medal.”

So no authorized devices for the GWOTEM…..


James Swanson

My service stars are authorized because it’s the Afghanistan Campaign Medal. I was there for 2 phases of the campaign (April 2011-November 2011).


Apparently you don’t know the difference between the two ribbons. And what’s up with the EGA device on those ribbons?

James, you might as well find Jesus right now and confess your sins. You’re in over your head and as far as stolen valor phonies go, you’re a rank amateur. But by all means, continue following the playbook.


I DONT like this guy either, but the EGA device is authorized on campaign medals if the person deployed as part of FMF….


James Michael Swanson – Why does your TWS profile claim you are an HM1?

5th/77th FA

James Michael Swanson, here’s a better question for you. Why do you look like a dorky, lying, embellishing POS? Oh, that’s right, it’s because you ARE a dorky, lying, embellishing POS. I feel sorry for your dog…you? Not at all. Thanks for playing.




Car Ramrod!

Say Car Ramrod!!!

And give me a liter o cola.

James Swanson

Love that movie


You would. That kid licking the window of the cruiser and you have a lot in common.


His injuries? His illness?

He claimed he had a Knee Injury, a Back Injury as well as Kidney Stones and Necrotizing Fasciitis (Flesh Eating Disease).

To Hack Stone:

I thought All Point Logistics had a headquarters in Huntsville, Alabama (current home of Mike “Doc” Swanson).

Swanson’s Mugshot featured in this post was from October 2019, less than a year ago. He was charged with “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE THIRD DEGREE”.

If one goes to this site and type in his full name, i.e. James Michael Swanson and click “Released Inmates Only”, one can see two pictures of him as well as the charges:


Swanson is Forgin Frank’s long lost Son. Except Swanson’s PH Certificate is more authentic looking than Forgin Frank’s.



Hack Stone

Thanks for the update. How could Hack Stone make such a mistake? 4815 Bradford Drive, Huntsville AL. They better give him a reserved Combat Wounded parking space near a tree for that service dog.



(Redacted – Please do not post personally identifiable information (PII). ~ Admin)

Nice try, Swanson. Admin, really?

Green Thumb

Dude looks like he is special needs.

I guarantee if you slap this clown he will queef.

USAF (Ret)

So I guess I am the only person who remembers TV trivia.

There is a LtCol William (Bill) Kelley USMC, AKA James Brolin, he was the Commander of a Marine Special Ops Team. If you do not believe me just watch Pensacola: Wings of Gold.


Date of Rate 5/8/14, on the street 6 weeks later.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he wasn’t promoted just before discharge, especially considering Navy promotion is on the 16th of the month.

So was he HM2 or HM1 before he was “awarded” his RIR and processed for adsep?


Got a Benjamin that says he pissed hot…


Good point.

James Swanson

I did piss hot. And I was tricked to HM1 at the time, so I got busted down to HM3. I already had my med board pending before they took me to mast.
If you have any other questions, comments, hate mail, etc please feel free to email or call me.


I also posted my address in case any of you guys REALLY want to come yell at me and my dog.


You’re on the wrong site Bub, if you think we are not going to follow through with anything other than a public inquiry now that you have spoken here and pretty much opened the door to find out what TAH stands for. So my first question is…How can you explain and justify the fake Purple Heart Certificate which CLEARLY shows in lower left corner PH COMMEMORATIVE?
You know what we are talking about; the certificate that can be ordered online with WILLIAM G KELLEY’S name on it as well as other PH certificates from other branches of service! Finally, please explain why the Dept. of The Navy has no record of your having received a Purple Heart? You came onto this site by your own hand. Surely you will explain the problems we have with your side of the story. Prove us wrong and you can expect some
slack few ever get and earn. Otherwise, please know I do not live that far from Huntsville and you have the opportunity to explain some things, or you have the opportunity to become VERY famous in Huntsville. For your sake I hope it is the former.


Eight hours now and no updated story from you. More than a few of us are waiting for a response to some of the same questions. Poor choice on your part trying to fool so many who are willing and able to expose far better B. S. artists than you could ever hope to be. We may have heard the last from you, but you will one day find your name on here again, and it won’t make you happy. BTW, Jeremy Dewitte is probably still hiring




I’m still wondering what else there was if he got busted from HM1 to HM3. Fuck up that badly to get knocked down twice and it’s not that much more to end up at HN.


I’ll take a guess and say that there was a group of them at NH Camp Lejeune that pissed hot… maybe someone flipped on Mikey for having connections?


He said he was “tricked” to HM1, think he meant frocked?


AW1, can you redact his PII?

And you pissed hot. Big fucking shock there. You of all rates should know the hazards of self-medicating.

No sympathy for you. Zero. None. The fact you still haven’t learned from that and seem to blame everyone and everything except that guy looking at you in the mirror says it all.


It may take a while, but I’ll get there NHSparky.

Green Thumb


Polish my balls.



Busted down to E-4 with more than eight years service automatically triggered high year tenure separation. So had to “hit the bricks” for being a fuck-up.

Instead of owning up to that, his version is he left due to injury….We can definitely do without his services.


James Swanson

I was actually an EP sailor my entire career. Unfortunately the ladies who I “tricked” and sent this in don’t have copies of my Evals.


WTF does an EP Eval have to do with your disregard for the meaning of honorable service??

You don’t have much to be proud of there.

You probably never learned that EP, MP and P marks are part of a kinder-gentler quota system that we were burdened with during the Clinton years.

Publicly apologize, STFU and quietly disappear into the Tennessee Valley!


Additionally, you must have never taken the HM Pledge or just simply lipped your way through it…..

-last line-



Rose Blossom

Winner winner chicken dinner!

Rose Blossom

He is a disgrace to this $1.15 delicacy!

A Proud Infidel®™

PING-budda-BING, pushed out as a dirtbag!


Plus any hot test is automatic ADSEP, usually OTH.

Green Thumb

There is more money putting out on the corner.

Be-bopping on the block.

The Navy was just not his thing.

E4 Mafia '83-'87

He is not following ‘The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness’. He must relinquish his Swanson-ness immediately if not sooner.

Swanson pyramidofgreatness.png


Over on the MP site they have a photo of this asswipe holding up a fish he caught. I especially like how they pixelated the face of the fish so as not embarrass that bass in case someone in his school in the lake may see him on MP’ s internet outing of this douchbag bedpan commando.

Mustang Major

Looks like Mike Swanson found a hospital bed, put on a patient gown, dived under the sheets, and had someone take a picture of him holding his phony Purple Heart certificate.

What a clown….


James Michael Swanson – Why does your TWS profile claim you are an HM1?


1) Rank: Navy Wide Exam results for the September 2013 Exam Cycle lists SWANSON JAMES M as selected to HM1. HOWEVER, he was likely frocked to PO1, got busted, frocking removed (PO2) and reduced one grade to PO3.

2) Medals/ Awards: There are raging discrepancies between the DD-214 vs. photo in uniform vs. Refridge Rack. He has awarded himself PHM, NMCCOM, JMUA and OVSM as well as extra NMCAM’s, MUC, and SSDR.

Oddly, DD214 is missing unit awards as well AFSM and HSM. I know NPAC aka “Navy Records” at Camp Lejeune does screw some things up but it NOT common to see such omissions.

3) Discharge: It is clear the James Michael Swanson was DISCHARGED from active duty not medically retired.

DD-214 Block #23: Type of Separation. This entry depends on the Character of Service (#24). If block 24 is anything other than Honorable you will typically see “Discharge” or “Discharged”.

Pissing Hot as well as previous incidents with civilian authorities is the quickest route to a reduction and OTH.

It would appear that lil’ Mikey Swanson forgot this line from the Hospital Corpsman Pledge: “I WILL NOT PARTAKE OF NOR ADMINISTER ANY UNAUTHORIZED MEDICATION.” This also applies to ALL illegal substances.


Nice work, HMC!

No nonsense

The blocks and code on his DD-214 confirm temporary disability honorable discharge. I am a civilian and not well versed in military lingo but I read that to be medically retired. Please correct me if I am wrong. There are plenty of other lies, smokescreens, and misrepresentations from this individual.


No nonsense:

NEGATIVE!! Nothing is confirmed within the context of my comments on discharge.

We can only presume the likelihood of what is in Block #24 based upon the wording in #23. Block #26 would be the most definitive detail as it holds the code for the specific reason for separation from service.

The ONLY way to definitively clear the issue would be for JAMES MICHAEL SWANSON to request a personal copy of the DD-214 and have it delivered directly to Military Phonies or some other independent entity….and we know the chances of that are ZERO…ZILCH…NADA!

No nonsense

HMC (FMF) Ret_87-10. I got this information from the original copy.


No nonsense:

It appears that you have/ had access to information that we (the public at large) do not have.

You will have to make your own decision based on the information that you personally have.

As a side note, it is possible that this person was processed for separation under a medical condition after an unfavorable event (substance abuse) if it could be lumped in with a medical issue like PTSD. This also helps save-face for the command/ unit he was last assigned.

With all that said, nothing justifies this EX-Sailor’s self-glorification through false awards and deeds.

No nonsense


From the original:

23 “Discharged” 24 “Honorable” 26 “SFK”

Like I said, I’m a civilian and while I have learned some military lingo, I am nowhere near as well versed as some of the vets on here.


SFK: Placed on temporary disability retired list, USN Enlisted.

So it would appear that the discharge was white-washed by NAVHOSP Camp Lejeune to save-face.

This does not diminish the fact that he lost TWO grades in the last months of service; PO1 down to PO3. That is still plenty of smoke to show his world was burning down before separation.

No nonsense




ALEX TREBEK: The most least likely phrase that was never uttered before going on patrol in The ‘Stan.

CONTESTANT: What is ‘Hey Doc Swanson, go to the armory and draw an m203.’

ALEX TREBEK: That’s correct. You’ve got the board.


ALEX TREBEK: The most likely phrase that was uttered before going on patrol in The ‘Stan.

CONTESTANT: What is ‘Doc Swanson, get your finger out of your ass and gear up.’

ALEX TREBEK: That’s correct. You’re on a run!

Rose Blossom

Can’t wait to see the Final Jeopardy! category!!!! Don’t leave me hanging, sbalm!


Blog comment,
only so Phony Purple Heart shitball
stays on the active blog list.

His Facebook is tightened down,
but “Angry” and “HaHa” clicks on some things are possible.


Delta Whiskies and Whiskettes,
It is my sad duty to inform you that Swanson, James M, has been placed in Moderation Jail. This is not an action I take lightly, and actually places an additional burden on me as the adjudicator of his further comments, if any. He has worked hard to be “awarded” this outcome, culminated in an attempt to impersonate a TAH Admin. I find this deeply insulting and would recuse myself from the issue, but I have no one to turn to.
If Mr. Swanson wishes to appeal my decision he is perfectly free to file with TAH/MP Admin Staff. Their email address and phone number may be found in the Contact Us tab at the top of the blog.
Mr. Swanson, please do not waste my time with frivolous, condescending or ridiculous comments. I will not expend a lot of my time with you, and will simply make you disappear.

5th/77th FA

Close ranks and boarders repelled!!!!

Standing ovation from all hands! Draw whiskey ration courtesy of The KoB. Sorry I missed all the fun, was on extended Cooks Duty.

Rose Blossom

AW1, I’m relatively new to this site. Can you please break this down for me (if it’s permissible)? How does one even go about impersonating one of the admins?!


Of course it’s permissible.

Scroll up. He posted as “Anon” and typed in a bunch of Xs, then claimed the text was redacted by Admin for PII purposes.

Not sure what he thought he was getting away with, but he got my attention, and not in a good way.

Rose Blossom

Oh geez…..such a dumbass. I think we already knew we weren’t dealing with the sharpest tool in the shed, but…..


Might disagree with you AW1Ed. What you represent as your sad duty should be construed by Swanson as the best break he ever got. Every time he opened his Bernathy mouth he dug himself in ever so deeper. Swanson actually should be smart enough to send you a “Thank you” note which reads, “Whew, that was a close one!”

Rose Blossom

Any suggestions as to how one might proceed with reporting Boy Wonder here to the authorities? Or who he should be reported to, rather? In addition to Stolen Valor, it’s a misdemeanor offense in Alabama to fraudulently misrepresent a service animal.


Rose Blossom, it’s in the works as we write. Probably from three or four different sources. He is NOT going to skate on this. Fixin to reap his just rewards. Hang in there probably till the end of the week. Somebody will re-post the story, and Swanson ain’t getting no happy ending.

Rose Blossom

Jarhead, you and the other “real” veterans here make us proud and are the reason why some of us are so quick to help a person when we think there is a legitimate need for it. It’s unfortunate, disgusting, and disgraceful that people such as JMS exploit their time in the service in the way that he has done. I speak for a few people when I say, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you (EACH of you) for your support and assistance in matters such as this.
Semper fi-

Rose Blossom

Jarhead, do you know if something still in the works here?


Yes, but running into a few “uninterested” road blocks. Don’t think for one minute I’m going to give up this one. Just have to sift through the flour and find the right ingredient. Thanks for asking, but DO NOT give up. When you see Swanson posted again as it is today, it will not be about ice cream! Bingo! It will come, no matter what. It requires personal conversations to get it accomplished. And with veterans at that. Emails on this issue go absolutely nowhere!


Clarification…emails as an initial contact.

Rose Blossom

Roger that. Thank you for the update. Your fan club is cheering you on from behind the scenes!!

Al G

Valor is something you can only measure when you are the right man, in the right place, at the wrong time. It comes from within, like a switch gets flipped in you and without hesitation or thought charge into disaster because that your immutable nature.

I’ve had that experience a few times. I never acted with the intent of being recognized or getting some dick riding about how amazing I was. What mattered was that I took action without hesitation running head-first into disaster.

Doing what is right because it keeps my moral compass pointed true north, no matter how hard, is the only way I can measure worth.

I grasp the merit of these rewards, and don’t intend to belittle them in any way.
I guess, its just depressing to see the ubiquity of thought that self-worth is measured by who people think you are; instead of who you know you are. Feeling pride in yourself about doing right, no matter how trivial or unrecognized the action matters.
I just felt the need to write out this, because after reading this coupled with something else that happened it made me feel despondent about what world we are leaving for posterity. God, family, country being replaced by fb likes, twatter following and hot angle selfies? I’ll go down swinging before I give into that.
Thanks for reading my comment, even if you think its bullshit.