There He Goes Again . . . .

| January 22, 2014

Well, it seems that everybody’s favorite non-SF, non-Tabbed, no-BSM, never-actually-a-LRP/LRRP  (his first unit in Vietnam was re-designated from Long Range Patrol to Ranger long before he ever reported in)    wannabe hero    blithering idiot    fine individual is at it again.

I simply don’t have the time or patience today to link to all of our favorite WitLessOne’s antics documented here at TAH.  Search for “Wittgenfeld” and “Whittgenfeld” using this site’s Search Tool if you aren’t familiar with why the guy is “oh so beloved” here.

Be that as it may:   y’all ain’t gonna believe that   doddering old fool’s   fine former soldier’s latest claim.

Apparently, I am actually Don Shipley.

Or at least a certain   clueless tool   WitLessOne thinks I am.  Just go to this link, and take a look at the comments to his 17 January 2014 entry.  (You’ll have to open comments, then open the two longer comments to find it.  His blog is set up IMO rather clumsily.)

Damn – I’m a SEAL.  That would indeed be a great thing.  I wish I’d known that.  Why didn’t someone tell me that before?

That must mean I’ve been through BUD/S.  Wonder why I can’t remember ever being on the beach at Coronado?  Or graduating from BUD/S?  Or what my BUD/S class number was?  Wouldn’t I remember all of those things?

Geez – that would mean I was in the Navy, too.  Wonder why I can’t remember that either?  I mean, I’ve been on a few Navy installations, and I’ve seen a few Navy ships.  But I can’t remember ever setting foot on a US Navy ship or submarine – and I think I’d remember doing that, too.

It would mean that my spouse is named Diane.  Funny, but I think I’d remember that also.

It would mean my son was a Navy SEAL.  Whoah – I think I’d remember that as well.

You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear it’s just not possible that I’m Don Shipley.  But our favorite WitLessOne thinks I am – and we all know he’s “never wrong”.   After all, he’s a legend in his own mind. (smile)

News flash for ya, oh   dipstick clown   Induhvidual Formerly Known Professionally As “Thunder Chicken”:  no, I’m not Don Shipley.  As usual, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  The reason that I “never answered you” (if you’re not baldfaced lying about asking me; you’ve certainly never sent me any e-mail asking me a damn thing) was that I never saw your alleged question.  And in any case, I also have a life – one that includes far more pressing business than obsessively following everything you do, or disabusing you of every foolish notion you come up with.

Based on what I’ve seen, disabusing you of foolish ideas by itself would be a full-time job.  For three people.

I must say I’m flattered, though.  From what I’ve seen and heard about Don Shipley, he seems like one helluva fine fellow.  I’m honored to be compared to him, and would have been proud to serve alongside him.  Unfortunately, I’ve not had the pleasure of ever meeting him or his lovely wife.  Maybe one day I will.

However, WitLessOne, before I end this article I have a bit of advice for you.  Five bits of advice, to be precise.  So you might want to listen closely.  And if you don’t “get” one or more of them, have someone else explain them to you.

First:  IMO you should pray Don’s not p!ssed you thought I was him, and publicly said as much.  Because I don’t think I’d want Don – or his hair – p!ssed at me.  I think you owe Don a bigtime apology.  A very public one.

Second:  since you seem to be oh so very interested in me, “buddy”, I’ll save you some trouble.  I’m also not the Pope, Lady Gaga, the POTUS, the Queen of England, Vladimir Putin, Ahmed Karzai, Bette Midler, Al Gore, Madonna, Alex Rodriguez, Angela Merkel, the Dali Lama, Paul McCartney, Katy Perry, Sting, Gary Sinese, Psy, Payton Peyton Manning, the Emperor of Japan, Meryl Streep, or Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.   That should help narrow your search a bit.  (smile)

Third:  John Wayne is dead.  So you might want to use another image when referring to me on your blog.  (By the way:  is that old movie poster image you used copyrighted?  Did you secure the copyright owner’s permission to use it?)

Fourth:  I have a screen-capture of the comment from your blog where you claimed that I’m Don Shipley.  If that comment disappears from your blog, I’ll post those screen captures here.

And lastly:  well, just watch this highly NSFW video for my last bit of advice.  I really think you should take that video to heart.  Daily.

 

Hat tip to TSO for bringing this bit of WitLess Idiocy to my attention.  Oh, and by the way, WitLessOne:  I’m not a retired 3- or 4-star anything, either.  (smile)

Category: "Teh Stoopid"

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A Proud Infidel

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but Dullass Whippgenfloggit ABUSES THE PRIVILEGE on a biblical scale!

A Proud Infidel

Hey Dullass Whipitout, if you are what you say, when was the last time you attended a Ranger Rendezvous on Ft. Benning?

Green Thumb

@53.

The only rendezvous’ that Ding-Dong lovin’ Dullass attends are the ones that he hooks up w/ The Phildo and Paul (of the Ballsack).

A Proud Infidel

That’s no surprise to me, GT, I wouldn’t be surprised if they include Banks and Church for a tickle monster duel/circle jerk!!

AW1 Tim

@45 JarHead Pat:

And pray tell, just WHAT is wrong with PBR for breakfast? I mean, seriously? A Marine questioning the “Breakfast of Champions”? Cold pizza and warm beer has been a Naval Aviation tradition since Jesus did the first carrier launch off that fishing boat in the Sea of Galillee. Hell, he launched in a frikkin’ STORM no less, with a pitching deck!

Heck……. pickled eggs, pickled sausage and some PBR’s makes a pretty good start to any day of the week. 🙂

/sarc (sort of…….)

Seadog

@56… And THAT really makes your coworkers appreciate you leaving work early.

Nicki

@56 – good lord, that sounds… malodorous.

AW1 Tim

Malodorous perhaps, but helps to flush the system right well. 🙂

AW1 Tim

They were consumed AFTER flying a mission, however. Bad things happen at altitude with that much gas needing to escape.

Frankly Opinionated

How many jumps does one have to make with a non-functioning chute to crack his noggin this badly. Good God Amighty he is worse than a defective football bat. Totally empty brain housing group doesn’t begin to define him.

OWB

Oh, dear. “…a defective baseball bat.” Had not heard that one in forever, and enjoyed it immensely. Thank you, Frankly!

OWB

or even “…a defective football bat.”

😉

Ex-PH2

Once again, LaRgeAnDsTupID has gone after Nicki and has ignored me. I feel that after including that bloated braindead carcass in a book, I deserve more recognization for it. It’s about ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, so Dullas Whipitnflogit ought to know what I mean without being told.

Dallas, you’re an purple asshole, all the way. Try some Preparation H on your brain. Might clear things up.

SGT Ted

You can’t possibly be Shipley.

You don’t have that fabulous hair.

Ex-PH2

Oh, Hondo, I was only doing me best to be generous with someone less fortunate.

A Proud Infidel

A mentally retarded one-eyed Orangutan on LSD in a dark broom closet with a broken keyboard could compose more coherent posts than Dullass Whipandflogit!

Valkyrie

You know come to think about things a little bit. I’ve never seen Hondo and myself at the same time. Gasp! Hondo are you me?!

NHSparky

AW1–try sitting in “the box” (aka Maneuvering) doing a reactor startup where the main distraction is playing the EAB Game.

The winner is the last person who grabs for their EAB to save themselves from the foul cloud of funky ass. The game is particularly entertaining when you turn off the air supply isolation to a manifold, or when the outside watches come in to make various reports.

Jabatam

Sorry, being a fan, I have to say you misspelled “Peyton”

Jabatam

Reading his blog though…I’m lost. I see English words but the sentences don’t make any sense

Faith+1

I figured it out.

YOU ARE SPARTUCUS!

Jabatam

Why in the hell did you show me that site? Now I’m stuck…like watching a train wreck

SFC D

So, if I follow this douchebags logic… Me pa (LtCol D) was a vet of WW2, Korea, & Vietnam, I am therefore qualified as a flight engineer & navigator on B-17’s, B-24’s, B-36”s, and an EW on B-52’s. By the same logic, since me uncle (CDR D(pardon me I’m not familiar with Naval rank abbreviations)) I’m now qualified to command HS-9 and serve as the XO of the Tripoli. Damn I thought I did pretty good on my own!

Nicki

Hey, off topic question. All of a sudden, every time I access TAH, I get these bizarre pop-ups claiming that I need to update Firefox, but it’s a fake prompt that my virus protection has caught more than once. And yet, the pop-ups keep coming. Anyone know what the hell is going on?

ExHack

Reading through this thread I literally dropped a Dullass. All the Dullasses in the bowl have their own little sets of purple tiger stripe cammies. And egads, the flipping STENCH.

Dallas “I have sex with animals"” Wittgenfeld

Poop on you all…….

HS Sophomore

@78-could be you did the computer version of unknowingly sticking your head into a place it didn’t belong, i.e. going to a phishing website that gave your computer something that’s making that window pop up. It might be a way of skirting your virus software, since it’s indirect and might not show up as a phishing site outright. Hackers and cyber miscreants are very good at disguising malware downloading things as legitimate stuff like that; you’ve probably heard of the emails from ID thieves that mimic ones from your bank with logos, fine print, ads and everything (oh, we’re having trouble with your account, could you PLEASE just send us your pin, card number, username, and DOB pretty please so we can right this). Your virus software should probably have a way or option to block it; I would recommend looking up the way to do this on wikihow or something and then doing that when it pops up again.

Note; not all teenagers are experts in computers, contrary to belief; the above’s just my amateur opinion.

HMCS(FMF) ret

Damn Jonn, now I’ve got to go and take a shower… with a Brillo pad and 5 gallons of bleach. That shit that the ShOrTbUsRidEr 41 posts is as freakin’ crazy as the shit over at DU.

teddy996

@78- had to poke around my folks’ computer a month or so ago, as it was doing the same thing. Turned out to be some bullshit adware program that had been installed through facebook or some other application that they use. Try going into control panel, go to the remove programs window, and uninstalling anything installed recently that you don’t remember agreeing to. (The one that got on my folks’ PC that did the Firefox windows was called webexpro or some shit like that.)

Bubblehead Ray

Jonn is the Walrus. Coo coo kajoo.

A Proud Infidel

No, I’M SPARTACUS!! No, wait, I said I was Evil, DOCTOR EVIL!!

DefendUSA

Hondo…no worries…just get Jonn and TSO’s back-up legal team! They can shut this down…sadly, I don’t know how this guy gets away with such bullshit!

Ex-PH2

When I want to go there, my computer digs its heels in and stares at me, as if it’s saying ‘You HAVE to be kidding me’.

If my computer has enough sense to not want to go there unless for a brief moment, it’s a good idea to stay away, or just peek through your fingers.

Nicki

Sophomore and Teddy – thanks for the advice. I’ve gone through and deleted everything I could, and I ran a sweep via Norton. The only thing it suggested is getting rid of an old Java file and installing a new one. It only happens with THIS site. That has me worried.

Ex-PH2

Nicki, turn on your pop-up blocker full strength. If that doesn’t work, take your computer to Staples for a free tuneup. It sounds like malware. If that’s malware, they’ll tell you. I got hit by it, trying to overwrite my whole system.
Norton is NOT effective at blocking malware. Sophos is better, also blocks cryptolocker, and costs less than Norton. I no longer trust Norton.

Nicki

Ex-PH2, thanks! And it figures. I renewed friggin’ Norton for like 2 years. Fuck.

jonp

“Damn – I’m a SEAL. That would indeed be a great thing. I wish I’d known that. Why didn’t someone tell me that before?”

Your so secret squirrel that you don’t even tell yourself what training you have.

rb325th

Dullass Dillwad, the gift that keeps on giving. The guy is the human version of the herpes virus.

Old Trooper

Dallas is completely unhinged. Reading his ramblings is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

I’m serious; the guy needs to be monitored by professionals.

Green Thumb

Dallas is down in Deltona tickling taints for beer money.

I wonder if he drinks?

OWB

Awww, OT: Fingernails on a chalkboard are soothing in comparison!

David

Hondo – I still carry scars in my sinuses from being trapped in a latrine stall while an E-6 in the next stall crapped off a beer-and-kimchi drunk.

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

He should really try to get back on his meds.

Valkyrie

I just now (for the first time I might add) went to Dullass’ linked page. Man oh man, does he have a hard on for TAH! He should just change the name of his site to “TAH fan page with extra fappage for Mark Jonn Nikki and Laughing Wolf”.

You guys should feel honored (and a little dirty) that he devotes all his time to reading adult novels (wrote by and for women) and thinking about y’all.