Ever Wondered What That Proverbial “Bag of Ass” Really Looks Like?

| May 19, 2013

Most of us have heard the phrase, “looks like a bag of ass”. But what does one look like?

Here ya go – take a look.

At first glance, maybe not that bad.  Until you look a bit closer at a couple of things.

Take a good look at the knot in the tie.

Then take a good look at the ribbon rack above his left pocket.

FOIA is in progress. RUMINT is that some of the decorations are legit, but not all of them.

Stay tuned. More to follow.

Category: Phony soldiers, Politics

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SJ

Is that a Purple Heart and Silver Star on the BOTTOM row?

What the yellow cord? I’m a geezer and probably just missed its adoption? By Armor?

Ex-PH2

Is there a gedunk medal anywhere in there?

The tie says he’s used to wearing clip-ons.

Is he wearing captain’s bars on his shoulders? Hard to tell, but if he is, I’d expect to see some attempt at looking properly dressed.

And seriously, the yellow cord looks like something I could pick up at a fabric store for about $2/yard.

Sparks

WTF! Over! A Silver Star BELOW precedence of a Purple Heart and on the BOTTOM with a Bronze Star W/Cluster next! (it looks like) And NDSM at the top of precedence. At least the ass gasket got the CIB right. Though he would not pass inspection for having all of it somewhat askew to my eye. Can’t tell what going on with the shoulder stuff. But I am betting it is just as phoney. It never fails to amaze me. Can’t these POS posers Google the AR for proper uniform wear? Hell even Wikipedia shows the proper precedence of decorations and awards!

Sparks

@2 If I am seeing it correctly the gedunk or as we called it the “I was alive in ’65”, NDSM is at the top of precedence.

SJ

There is a framed Purple Heart citation on the wall.

10th MTN NCO

Really, and what ribbon is legit, the rainbow warrior? I refused to get worked up this morning.

OWB

Pitiful.

Sparks

@6 You are right NCO. It caught me off guard and it is too early and too fine a morning here to get upset over this guy.

Sparks

I would like to meet him though.

NHSparky

Is that a DSC I see on that uniform? And no Air Cav patch? They’re slipping.

LebbenB

No CPT insignia on the shoulder loops; those are regimental DUIs. However, his ribbon rack is 50 different kinds of effed up. And don’t get me started on that yellow cord, the neck tie and the way he’s wearing the beret.

Andy

is he dyslexic and just completely reversed the order of his rack? Gay pride ribbon on top? wtf?

SJ

Hondo…if his branch was Armor could he be authorized the CIB? I’m not up to date on stuff like this.

Green Thumb

Turd.

Love the yellow cord.

NHSparky

SJ–if he’s in an armor MOS, no. Only 11- and 18-series can currently be awarded the CIB.

Hell, I’m Navy and I know that.

Jonn Lilyea

His branch appears to be Armored Cav (and the yellow cord which isn’t authorized by the 670-1), so no, he shouldn’t have a CIB, but a CAB.

Ex-PH2

@13 – The rainbow ribbon is an Army Service Ribbon.

I will withhold snarking on this rather messy individual until we find out more about him, other than to say that he’s a slob, he can’t tie a tie properly, and he looks like he just doesn’t take it (the Army) very seriously.

OWB

Whatever is on his shoulders looks a lot like combat engineer insignia from here. (OK, it’s the only one I recognize and have been waiting a long time to throw that in!) But really, it could be anything.

Can’t really get beyond that tie, though. Have seen a bunch of really bad knots among folks who seldom wear one, but that is absolutely the worst attempt EVER!

DirtDart

Look at this cock smuggling dick bandit of satan.
Please tell me this a joke, a sick one but a joke nontheless.

Smitty

where is the blue cord? if ya are going to steal a CIB, atleast wear a blue cord so people believe ya for half a second. No blue cord, no CIB, pretty easy. can we send out a mass memo letting all the retards know how to propperly fake a military uniform? are we sure this guy is actually in the service at all? i would guess he stole his dad’s uniform and jacked it all up

Smitty

oh yeah, and a PH with no combat patch? where did he get that PH and CIB? ok i know if he wasnt in theater for a month he doesnt get the patch, but that isnt likely and im sure if he was injured to the point of being medivaced out of country some higher up would find some way to justify a combat patch for him.

Flagwaver

I always wore a clip on because whenever I tried to tie it, mine looked like something out of Miami Vice. Hell, my D.S. bought me a clip-on for graduation because he didn’t want me to look dicked up in review (and I wasn’t the only one he did this for).

It is possible for him to have received a CIB if he reclassed from Infantry to A.Cav. It’s not unheard of. However, I will not pass judgment on that until after the FOIA comes out.

His Monica-cap looks dicked up, but at the same time, they always look dicked up unless they are worn by Airborne or Rangers… the only two groups that I feel has the right to wear them.

His disks, at least the one on his left, is not properly facing. It should be aligned with the inside of the lapel. It looks to be “inline” with a line drawn from he neck to elbow.

Finally, boy needs to hit his buttons with some brasso. I know very few uniforms in the Army that haven’t gone to the sta-brite button sets, but it is required if you have sta-brite qual badges (at least in my Battalion it was).

Where the heck is his Regimental Crest? It should be prominently displayed over his right pocket, but all he has is that banana cord.

As for the ribbons, perhaps he just got his head stuck in his fourth point of contact or read his ribbon builder in a mirror… or upside down…

And that cord… it is not unheard of for some ceremonial temporary assignments to allow the branch color shoulder cord be worn, but I have never heard of it with a uniform that look like a bag of ass.

Flagwaver

Sorry for the double post, but my wife just pointed something out that my coffee deprived eyes did not see…

His name plate isn’t on the pocket, as it should be. EVERYONE in the Army know this. Hell, my wife’s not even in the Army and she saw this.

As of right now, barring the FOIA, I am going to call poser.

From the looks of it, this is one of those creatures we have been talking about. A poser who actually did his homework a little to pass initial inspection without claiming to be a 20-star general assigned to a Marine Ranger Squadron as a Space Shuttle Door Gunner.

A Proud Infidel

8TFU he is. ATE THE FOOK UP!!

FMR PAO

NDSM and Thanks For Coming ribbons on the TOP of the stack? Makes me wonder how many stars on his CIB. And WTF with the yellow cord there, specialist?

Sparks

I know we have not seen the FOIA info on this guy but has to be a poser. ANYONE awarded a Silver AND Bronze Star and who earned a Purple Heart would know where they go. No way in hell a soldier with that fruit salad would mess it up so badly. And as Flagwaver wrote, the name plate. Looking at the Citations on the wall and what looks like a framed General Order and with a photo of someone behind this dipshit, I am betting this is their uniform and the boy found the ribbons in a box and made a stab at putting them on. Still can’t explain the yellow cord. Saw them when I went from Army to Air Force in the early ’70s. Air Force tech schools used yellow, green and red “ropes” as student leaders of a barracks full of new basic trainees. It looks identical to one of these AF ropes. I was prior service E4 so had my own room and wasn’t part of that. Just watched the “ropes” form them up for shift call to march to school and back. If the digging gets done the truth will come out.

Retired Club Mgt Warrant

A yellow lanyard was worn by the 545th MP Company, assigned to the 1st CAV during the occupation of Japan after WWII. These days it is awarded for dropping the soap when showering in the gym with the basketball team. I thought grunts in infantry units wore hard stripes, at least the one’s in a job that would result in award of the CIB. Anyone can screw up a tie knot and if even some of the awards were real I would cut some slack. But the grade does not match the awards unless he was busted for dropping the soap once too often. Additionally, don’t soldiers in most major units wear all right-side unit awarded citations while in the unit? But more important, have any of you ever encountered a bona-fide who has been in Harm’s way not wearing the unit patch. This guy only has one shoulder patch.

A Proud Infidel

On Army Class A’s and the ACU’s, Soldiers wear their current unit patch on the left side. Those who have deployed to a Combat Zone wear their “Combat Patch” on the right side. This 8TFU dirtbag has a CIB, but no unit patch on his right sleeve, he’s wearing what appears to be an ill-placed Engineer insignia on his left lapel, (NO crossed rifles with the blue discs and a blue cord)…..

My verdict? He’s 8TFU, in the same neighborhood as “Colonel” Crotchrot, and I think he’s most likely a poser who had a career as stellar as that turd!!

68W58

OK-it looks like he is wearing a 278th ACR unit patch and since I was previously deployed as a member of HHT 2/278th I owe him a special cockpunch.

Also, that looks like an AMEDD certificate or diploma right behind him, maybe he framed a CLS course completion diploma (WHY?!?), but otherwise it makes little sense. It also looks like he framed a set of orders (so again, WHY?!?).

68W58

On further examination he is definitely wearing 278th Cav unit crests on his shoulders, so I absolutely want to beat his ass for this douchebaggery.

Alberich

Those look like DUI’s, not captain’s bars, to me. (A pity because with that specialist rank on his collar he’d be like the “sergeant major” from the rangerup video, wearing sergeant’s rank and major’s rank at the same time…)

I’m partway color-blind, but those look like green class A’s to me, in which case – where’s the combat patch to go with the CIB? Also, isn’t that an ICM with no stars?

Alberich

(Should’ve refreshed before posting that.)

Old Trooper

I can’t even comment on this one. Don’t want to. Jonn, TSO, and Mr. Wolf have seen my massive ribbon rack and even I know that this uniform is an inspection gigfest in session (he probably isn’t even sporting the brass belt buckle).

OWB

Maybe this is part of a training exercise in what not to do??

Anonymous

He could flip that rack upside down and be more accurate. What a douche.

Crusty

He could flip that rack upside down and be more accurate.

Crusty

It has been a while and I can’t be sure but, aren’t you limited to just two badges on the left pocket?

Ex-PH2

I see what looks like maybe rank patches on each sleeve, but nothing that indicates stripes. That would indicate he’s a SPC-4, or whatever you call it now.

Is he possibly a high school reservist, or something? I used to see kids in JROTC on their way to school when I was taking the bus. They all looked quite squared away, right down to the haircuts and garrison caps. If high school kids can get it right, why can’t this guy?

Anonymous

This site is nothing but a Glorified gossiping site.
I guess you individuals have never made a mistake?
Just a bunch of sad little men!!

Ex-PH2

@41 – Jealous much? We can gossip about you if you want us to. Where should we start?

Jonn Lilyea

This guy is an actual Iraq veteran. Someone who served with him sent him to us. He may actually have a Purple Heart, the FOIA might bear that out. But he doesn’t have a BSM or SS, according to his former squadie. That’s why his face and name tag are blacked out – until we get the proof.

To Anonymous #41; are a past or future TAH bust?

OWB

What a relief! At least we are Glorified gossips instead of the everyday garden variety gossips.

(This is likely the same A-non I just responded to over in the Underwood topic. Similar outrage.)

USMCE3TLCPL

Ok anon i can tell youeither arent a service member… Or are and are like some 5 ribbon SSGT. Whos never seen a dime of overseas pay and therefore still dream of the mighty sea service ribbon or better yet a CAR. Well guess what i got both, and i EARNED both of them. Now why dont you show us who you really are and be sure to bring your libo stack.

Old Trooper

@43: If he’s an actual Iraq Vet, then he deserves every inch of criticism aimed at that jacked up uniform. We’ve had posers with more squared away uniforms than that.

Andy

@41, clearly you have no clue what you are talking about. anyone who served in the Army or most any other branch can take one look at that uniform and see it’s chewed up like 10 lbs of bubblegum.

SJ

#41. Re “Just a bunch of sad little men!!”

Ex PH2 is going to kick you in the balls for calling her a little man. Assuming you have balls.

Ex-PH2

SJ, you got that straight!

Flagwaver

Wait, so this mountain of failsauce is an actual soldier? And he decided to do what, get his picture taken looking like a pail of pig piss?

You know, I was never the most squared away soldier at my unit. However, I had plenty of training by Drill Sergeants back when they could still smoke you. I never looked even half that bad.

And as for the un-awarded awards… I think he might have a little Company-Grade explaining to do, unless they decided to change the regs of late.