Ever Wondered What That Proverbial “Bag of Ass” Really Looks Like?
Most of us have heard the phrase, “looks like a bag of ass”. But what does one look like?
Here ya go – take a look.
At first glance, maybe not that bad. Until you look a bit closer at a couple of things.
Take a good look at the knot in the tie.
Then take a good look at the ribbon rack above his left pocket.
FOIA is in progress. RUMINT is that some of the decorations are legit, but not all of them.
Stay tuned. More to follow.
Category: Phony soldiers, Politics
Ok, this guy appears to be SP4 material- at least the rank on the sleeves indicate it.
Given that he’ so all effed up, he’s not of the CIB variety- the only people I’ve seen this effed up were either cooks or medics in the Guard. They just never wore these items but once a year, if that.
One thing we learned: never, ever put a medic and a booby trap in the same grid square. They seem to find each other to easily, like opposite poles of a magnet…
There are only about 100 different rack builder programs out there that will show you ribbon order IN COLOR. All you need to do is to match the pretty picture with your rack. Sheesh…
Alright listen up people. This guy is an actual Iraq war Vet. I served with him in 2004-2005 in Iraq. He was awarded the Purple Heart but other than that he was not. We were not an infantry unit we were tankers and artillery. He has no reason to claim a CIB or any of the Valor awards. Truthfully his purple heart was up in the air as supposively he was shot by insurgents but no shell casings nor the impact of the rounds on the building came anywhere close to being right after the investigation and members in his unit do believe it was a setup and another soldier shot him in his arm to make them look like heroes. Im tired of seeing these stolen valor cases and this is the reason I reported this shitbag battle buddy or not he does not deserve to ever wear that uniform and by the way I am a 3x veteran of OIF and I’m highly disappointed in this individual. Thank You
I just came off the MK-19 nest he was standing watch at when he was shot. There were three bullet holes in the stucco at the doghouse section of the IP building. I don’t remember an official investigation! I do know it happened just prior to dusk cause A) I was the only one that knew how to set up a hasty LZ and B) I led a 6 man squad into the palm grove to sweep the area and make sure it was clear. If you were there, you know who I am. I was attached to your section initially to give full time long range/sniper capabilites to the JCC as the warmer season was spawning an increase in AIF activity. I personally don’t think Spc K had the nuts or the brains to shoot Braden. Besides, he had no powder residue from cordite, so he definitely wasn’t shot at close range. Also the projectile exited the front from and outside to inside angle. Not consistent with “hey man, shoot me” scenarios. All that being said, he was dicked up then and he appears dicked up now. But then again while on that short stint with that unit, I was baffled at the incompetence that was burrowed in that particular squad. Both SOG’s were never on active duty and continuously stayed on power trips and tried to skip out on standing watch so they could feed their XXL sized DCU bottoms all the while never learning how to send up a 9-Line. It’s very scary to be calling down to the SOG with your MBITR and look over to see him on the roof with you (no one to call for 9-Line or QRF). That’s abandoning your post! Another guy completely talked me through how to make meth one night and I was damn proud of it. Whoever the SAW gunner was, he was a standup kid. Best they had if I had to assume.
Sgt Slaughter-what Squadron?
I was 2/278th at Bernstein.
@54, I’ll accept what you say at face value, but there is no justification for his apparent disrespect for his own service by appearing as what I would only politely term a slob in uniform.
If he’s as obnoxious as you say, then he needs to be taken down a peg or two, just as a lesson in life. As I said above, I saw high school kids in JROTC uniforms on the bus on their way to school, who showed more discipline and awareness of their status — and therefore, cared about how they presented themselves — than this individual.
I don’t see any excuse for his conduct at all.
68w58 i was at caldwell with d-1/278th
I know some of the people who were at Caldwell. I am currently in HHC 230th SB in Chattanooga and we have a lot of former 1st Squadron people there.
Well the truth will come out with FOIA 🙂
Oh Goddammit, not someone wearing the Puckered Asshole. @31 68W58 I hope he’s not from 2nd Squadron OR STS, I served with both of them. Cockpunch just scratches the surface.
Country Singer-it’s the three stars of death and the three rivers of blood! (LOL) Were you with either squadron in 2004-05?
Anyway, Sgt Slaughter says he is 1st squadron. Some of their command from then is still around and would not be pleased at all to see this.
68W58, I was with MICO in that time frame, then was at Det 1, HHT/2 in Gallatin, then briefly in the S2 shop in Cookeville, then went back to MICO, which was by then A TRP/RTS.
I see SPC patches on the jacket sleeve and on the shirt collar tabs. The pins on the jacket shoulders are unit crests.
And the tie is definitely SO ‘effed up!
Need a better pic to make out the ribbon rack though.
What in the name of all that is Holy is that??? A Yellow Chord? CIB, no Infantry Insignia, the medals….. fuck.
In the 1/101st (SEP) (ABN) in VN we had an asshole awarded a Purple Heart because he was fragged in a whorehouse by an ARVN that was pissed off because his beloved was being porked. Luckily, the brass engaged and it was revoked.
You would think that someone who is still in would have common sense to get his shit straight with awards. Army folks are quick to call out fuck ups on uniforms.
When I zoom in real close on the BSM, looks to be an upsidedown “V” Device. But I’m not entirely sure.
Not to say this is the case with this individual, but in a previous squadron I was assigned to (AF) the NCOICs would get together and mess up a uniform in different ways. Then the Airmen going up for quarterly awards would have to spot the differences or mistakes in the uniforms. It was a good way to get everyone to keep up with the proper way to wear the service dress uniform (we rarely wore them) and also help focus on the attention to details no matter how small.
#68, wonder how long ago was this? Because NCOs in the AF, few are often tore up as this guy is. There were few that were on point.
Gosh darn it!!!
This bag of ass has been sniffing Monkress’s turd powder again?
Damn it.
Jonn, if you could send me some more info on this guy I’d like to do some research. I’m a senior NCO in the regiment he appears to be a part of as well as a law enforcement officer for the State of Tennessee. Time to square this assbag away.
Chem corps collar brass and CIB in Cav unit with Silver star? why don’t these schmucks ever pose as cooks? this is so easy to rip.
I found a site that has the light gold interwoven shoulder cord as cavalry – armor.
Is it supposed to be on the righthand side?
This guy just comes across as a douchebag posing for a picture either as a joke (which it’s not), or to make some kind of profound hippie-type statement about how valor and combat medals belong underneath service medals or some drivel like that. Regardless of which one, there’s better ways to do both and he chose wrong.
#54,
If this is the way this kid presents himself, I would not be surprised if the PH was awarded erroneously. The funny thing is, whether he rightfully earned the PH or not, he is not wearing either of the two decorations we enlisted usually receive for merit and achievement–the AAM or the ARCOM. So, either he didn’t earn either of these (which more than likely means he was a shitbag) or he replaced the ones on his rack with the BSM and SS.
There’s also a slight possibility that he was he was awarded the BSM for his tour (possible, as a couple of seriously wounded Privates have earned one over here, but not likely) and was extremely junior in his “career”. Still doesn’t explain the Silver Star or assed-up uniform and ribbon arrangement. Oh, and is he wearing three marksmanship badges? It looks like an Expert, Sharpshooter, and Marksman badge, with two bars on the Expert Badge. Who wears even two badges?
Well, if he’s a 14T, it could be lack of intent… poor understanding of AR 670-1/award requirements, too much money while at clothing and sales. Just sayin’. 😉
More like NO common sense at Clothing Sales, where’s his Combat Patch to go with his CIB, it looks like he’s wearing Engineer insignia to boot,………
Now we know what both a “Bag of Ass” and a “Bag of Dicks” looks like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgLzrTPkdgI
National Guard, awwww thank god! Just curious, has anyone identified what the hell that piss stain chord was? The sad thing is that this was taken at some civilian event. Why cantI ever get just one opportunity to see this in person. Is one throat punch really asking too much god?
The only thing that could make this better is a neck tattoo!
Or an ear ring!
At first blush it looks like an ROTC uniform. That cord reminds me of the AUSA cord given out.
First thing I noticed was the lack of a regimental crest.
Second thing was the lack of unit awards. (chances are high that any unit with individuals earning SILVER STARS earned a unit award)
Pretty sure it’s armor, not combat engineer. Engineers wear the special buttons as well.
One more thing….bronze star and silver star…but no combat patch?
I bet you Monkress has slept with this guy.
@79, a lot of sites that sell mil uniform stuff will often sell braided cords in the colors of the diff MOS branches. I remember as far back as the early 90s, the first time I saw a Ranger Joe’s catalogue, they had them for order. I swear there were like 10 different colors.
He’s a Specialist Captain? Maybe Captain Specialist… he may fancy himself a superhero.
I could be mistaken but it looks to me like he’s wearing an E-4 rank on his arms and a Captain’s rank on his shoulders.
@87, I now wonder if he stole that yellow cord from some high school kid’s marching band uniform?
@88 That’s a 278th ACR (TN Nat’l Guard) DUI on his shoulder and beret. And a 278th patch on his arm.
[…] Most regular TAH readers probably remember this guy – based on his rather hosed-up uniform, our proverbial “bag of ass”: […]
I was at ft Gordon recovering from wounds myself and a specialist Braden from my unit 1/278th RCT arrived in April of 2005 wounded in the arm at Mandalay Iraq. Word then was PFC Kelsey actually shot him playing with his rifle. Braden also claimed to have been promoted SGT by General Schoomaker during a hospital visit of the wounded at Gordon. Turned out to be bullshit. The real story from this guy is his little brother Ivan “the terrible” Braden same unit that tried to bomb the unit armory in Lenior city
I arrived after the “shooting” in Madalay & I remember it being weird & questionable event.