Rendered speechless
Someone sent this to TSO from Don Shipley’s Facebook pictures. There’s nothing I can say, except that he looks relatively familiar;
ADDED: Today’s phony is dedicated to AFWife (I think, because she’s one of the few people on the internet I know by her real name), who is celebrating her birthday and asked for her own phony.
Category: Phony soldiers
Class A, red cravat, blue jeans. Totally SAT, but I don’t think the cane is authorized by AR 670-1.
I do believe we’ve found Run-DMC’s honorary cousin – One-DMF.
It looks like there are 7 Bronze Star Medals, three Purple Heart Medals and five Good Conduct Medals. The boy spent some money. I still think I know this guy.
Holy flippin’ hell….is that the .mil version of Bedazzling?
He looks like a North Korean General.
What. The. Fuck.
Wow. Just wow.
And despite his best efforts, no one is paying attention to him in that photo! Do you think this was going thru his head: “Once I go from six Bronze Stars to seven, people will really respect me!”? Hahaha I think he needs the cane to prevent from tipping over with all that metal on his one side!
That Spanish Field Marshall look ain’t cuttin’ it.
I have no respect for a government that lets clowns like this parade around disrespecting our uniforms and medals. A lame example of “free speech.”
Can’t be Soviet – their oldsters don’t have beards like that. Oh, oh, I got it! He’s the percussion section on the new ZZ Top video!
My heartfelt thanks goes out to great American Poser, without him I was without anyone to laugh at today.
Holy shit–Jeff Ross dressing up as Gaddafi for the Charlie Sheen roast looked more credible than this douchenozzle.
Oh fuck, Now Santa is going to get hit with stolen valor
Well, there was that time Santa took fire and lost Blitzen coming into Detroit a few Christmases ago…
And correct me if I’m wrong, but are those women’s sergeant stripes on his jacket?
I realize that I should be angry, but all I can do is laugh. I do hope someone laughed in his face for me before beating him with his cane.
And at least he’s wearing the Black.
YGBSM.
Whereinthehell was this cretin seen?
Ok, round 37 of the giggle fits – I just hovered over the photo and saw what you named it.
It looks like a Ranger tab above his 101st combat patch. Always a plus to have the tab on both shoulders.
That is awesome.
Unless Tim Kennedy and Brian Stann show up to move the boxes and furniture out of my house, this will be the best present I get all day. 🙂
He’s got at least 6 years worth of combat hashes on that right sleeve. That’s a helluva lot of time in country for an E-5.
Let me guess….he’s taking collections for a “veteran’s organization”.
%$#@!
Is that an Army female beret he’s wearing?
Old Trooper: I counted 9 hashes – wouldn’t that be 4 1/2 years?
Besides his being a total ass for wearing all the actual individual medals (vice one copy of each w/devices), the thing that makes me wonder the most is the 2 Soldier’s Medals (they don’t seem to be DFCs). The Soldier’s Medal is fairly rare to begin with – and I’d guess it’s DAMNED rare for one individual to have two.
And yeah, the Ranger Tab on the right sleeve (and on the Beret) is pretty damned stupid, too.
Is he wearing blue jeans???
Jonn #3: I still think I know this guy.
Haven’t played Army since I was a kid… so it ain’t me!
@24: I counted 9 as well, but then I noticed that there is a crease in his sleeve that may be hiding another one.
Either way, this is one badass mofo!!
You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear….
Nah, I think I know who it is–Soup Sandwich fell into a time warp and woke up 20 years later ala Rip Van Winkle.
TSO–Look, we want you to express yourself, ok? If you think the bare minimum is enough, then ok. But some people choose to wear more and we encourage that, ok? You do want to express yourself, don’t you?
NHS- It was on yesterday, and that movie is still an absolute classic.
Yeah, look–I don’t need 37 pieces of flair to express myself, I just need one…
Holy crap, it’d be easier to count what’s NOT on that jacket, lol.
@24: Oops, my bad, that should have said 5 years instead of 6. I hit the wrong key when I was typing and didn’t catch it until now.
Cut the guy some slack. It must be difficult to square away the uniform when you have been up all day and night drinking … all alone … in your underwear … in a mobile home trailer … with 17 cats!
HOLY SHIT BATMAN! This guy makes MSG Soup Sandwich look like a pussy.
Wow. He can probably kill all of us with JUST HIS MIND! (c8
I thought yesterday was April Fool’s Day?!?
W — T — Ever lovin’ — M — F??!!!
The most funny Epic Fail yet.
Where WAS this reject from a peacock farm??!!
I don’t even know what to say…some people have no shame.
I DO recognize both *critters* in that photo link….Checked the PMO’s *most unwanted* list…Neither of you made it. Go figure!
Oh yes, Happy Birfday airforce wife….That there is real funny shit, don’t care who ya are.
Hero of the Soviet Union… Call of Duty Style.
I guess, considering all the old boy has been through, I shouldn’t worry that he missed a couple buttons on his jacket. Jackass.
Happy birthday AFWife!
Too funny!
I’m still speechless. what a fucking retard
A public punch in the mouth is needed on this one. I don’t care how old this clown is.
I think a celebrity death match between Santa and MSG Soup Sandwich in order… Only then will we know who the baddest mofo really is!
[…] you scroll down from this picture, you’ll see that Mary has a name for the guy who rendered me speechless, the other day, but not enough to ID him […]