Chevalier v. Bernath: The 2014 Blue Falcon Stolen Valor Tournament Finals
No surprise here, but the 1 and 2 overall seeds made it to the last game. Voting the fecal four round was ridiculously high. Higher than we’ve ever had for a tournament.
Chevalier def. Church, 72-28
Bernath def. Visconi, 83-17
At this point, you should be familiar with both the 7 wives and counting Air Force Pilot, and the Navy SEAL cum Lawyer cum bus driver cum TSA Agent cum movie star cum serial litigant. In case you haven’t, just type the last name into the search above and have at it. I would just skim though, because you can only vote once today, and then tomorrow morning I put up a new one. Total vote for the two days wins. I will post the winner at 11:59 PM so we have the result in the year we started it in.
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Category: Politics
Daniel “Crash” Bernath for the win!
Yes indeed, Daniel A. “Crashing Cockroach” Bernath for the WIN!!!
P. S.
To Whom it May Concern, my “Medal Offer” still stands!!
I would not think the word Win fits either one of them. More like Sucks better, or is a bigger a-hole etc.
Maybe this will determine just who is the top of the heap in the “Legion de Manguer de Merde”!!
The awarding of the Croix de Merde
You are correct. There are no winners; just losers. Visconi and Church didn’t stand a chance with the high levels of fucktardery they up against.
Oh, yeah. These two are very clearly Varsity, first string, starting, dingleberries.
Visconi will forge his own “Victory Citation”.
I have no doubt about that, he’ll probably sue as well!
All hail Noah Gass!
I hear the Bi-Lo 86’d him because he bitched they didn’t have enough duct tape for the dog.
Didn’t he also pull out of his parking place to ram into one of their displays because “he didn’t see it” in the handicap space after he complained it was in the handicap space?
For starters.
Both of these two doerks are eminently worthy winners.
Wouldn’t it be something if everybody split their vote – for tool #1 the 1st day, and for tool #2 the 2nd? That way we’d have well-deserving co-BFs of the year.
Hell, if that happens I’ll provide an appropriate award for both!
Chevy, you let me down. I was your biggest fan. I just knew you had asshattering reserve, but no, you munched on cheese and sat in your fake police car. You lose yet again. Quite a year…thrown out of a volunteer org of soldier pretenders. That’s hard to do.
Bernasty for the win.
I think whoever is in second needs to get an honorary PHD from TAH University.
IT could Read
Greeting to all who see this,
Be it known that __________________ After showing the he has equipped himself in the field of Stolen Valor with False Awards, Fake Claims, Purchased Rank and medals as well as mastered the arts of sock puppetry, false police charges and or wasteful court cases is Here by awarded and Honorary PHD in Stupidity.
Signed THE BLUR FALCON
All done in Edwardian script as a tribute to viscosity or whatever his name was
You beat me to it. Well played sir.
You reminded me that Chevy has a fake doctorate from a diploma mill. Even has a lab coat. How soon we forget.
“Even has a lab coat.”
I remember that, he looked like a wannabe Proctologist in it!!
He’s an amateur Proctologist.
Chevy uses his head rather than a finger.
I would agree.
Heavy Chevy has, without a doubt, inspected his share of manholes.
So basically, he can eat that seven pound block of cheese over, and over, and over, and over…
A Letter of Laws in Failurus Maximus Dumbfuckium?
Remember to store the document in a warm dark wet room two weeks before presenting it to the winner. It’s the SWEADISH MESNA way.
I just wanted to say “SHALOM, SCHMUCK!!” to our #1 SV Contender for starters. Any more slings of stupidity from *SLUUUERP!* WuSs41 lately?
Q: WHAT is the one thing long and hard on DallASS Witlessfart?
A: THIRD GRADE!!! :mrgreen:::D: 😈
I remember the TV Show “Seven wives for Seven Brothers”, maybe someone could write new lyrics to that show’s song in spoof of “Blobfish” Chevalier titled “Seven ex-Wives for Blobfish Loser”? Maybe ‘ol Blobfish can join one of the Mormon Church sects that condone polygamy, then he can have my ex-wife AND E8 Katrina Moerk at the same time!!!
Ohhhh. . .. Now THAT would be a pleasant match made in hell. . . . . Blobfish and Moerk.
If that happens, time to pull up the chair, popcorn, and beverage, just sit back and watch the fireworks.
Their can be only one!
If only there were……
Bernath, the next eminently qualified SECNAV appointment by Obama will be the winner.
My boy Frankie Visconi let me down. He’s such an incompetent tool that he couldn’t garner even 20% of the vote. Bernath is such a heavyweight contender that I didn’t think Frankie could win, but only 17%? I’m crushed.
Frankie’s a failure at being a failure. Phhhhhhhhttttttttttttt.
But to be fair, Frankie-boi never talked shit about female lawyers in court and got bitch-smacked by the judge for it.
Even he has limits. Bernath? Pfft.
Rustle, rustle, bitch.
Caw, Caw, Caw, Caw, Caw,
CAW, CAW, CAW, CAW, CAW,
….bitch…….
NOT TO WORRY, NHSparky, Visconi is VERY likely to claim HE DID win and sure to sue in order to back his claim up, so there is hope, my friend!!
Not much for typing yet. Lots of lurking but who knew typing could make one tired. Anyway, I had to vote. I will catch y’all up this weekend when I have more stamina. I just have to say it though. Bernath is the biggest disappointment as a human being I have ever encountered. I hope he wins and with that winning, bring him closer to reaping those things which he has sown in life.
Welcome back and get well soon.
Welcome back Sparks!
The Man took care of you!
No problem, Sparks. We can do Chicago-style voting for you.
Yea Sparks! Been waiting on your triumphant return…. and nurse stories. Welcome back!
Good to hear from you, Sparks. Prayers continue, but perhaps with a bit less intensity. 😉
Good seeing you back!
May your recovery be a speedy one, Sparks!!
Great to see you back, Sparks. We look forward to having you back to full participation shortly!
Yeah, welcome back, glad you’re recovering fine.
Yes, welcome back Sparks.
The pages are fuller with you here.
Best to you.
Hang in and get well soon, Sparks!
Welcome back, Sparks! Best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery!
Sending Healing Energy your way Sparks.
Hope you get your “flash” back soon.
Welcome back, amigo. Was beginning to be concerned.
Glad you’re back Sparks, co catheter faux paxes this time, I assume?
Welcome Back Sparks! Good to see you brother. 🙂
Bernasty for the win, just because I want to see him stroke out over this.
I bought a can of Brasso yesterday! The old school cotton wad soaked in acid and contain the galvanized can … yeah that stuff.
Any way, I am buffing and bringing to a brilliant shine the plaque that is inscribed with the winners name.
I had the plaque cut in March!
Nice! That sucka is gonna gleam!
And while I had already left to head “out west”, your card and letter arrived yesterday. The gf was very impressed and touched.
Mele Kalikimaka, and Haole Maka Hikihou to you and yours, and the whole TAH crew!
Rog that!
It’s the simple things in life, ain’t it? A tin of Kiwi and a stiff brush is the Army equivalent to the Navy’s can of braso and cotton balls. The kids in the service today will never know some of the relaxing habits that we vets were “raised” with.
Ah yes the smell of Brasso. Clears your sinuses. Right up there with Hoppe’s 9 solvent.
Until the day I die, I’ll never forget the smell of submarine.
Words can’t describe it, although a combination of amine, diesel, and smoke is a good start.
Love that smell, can still remember it. NUB days doing the Brass and the Knee Knockers.
Did a great job on the belt buckle on Rope Yarn Fridays.
Brasso… That gives me Army Basic Training flashbacks!! One of the things our DS’s gave us for “busy work” was to polish the galvanized steel trash cans in the barracks, I STILL SWEAR those must have been some of THE SHINIEST trash cans in US Military History!!!
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
So many fire hydrants. So little time.
He appears to be saying “MINE, ALL MINE!!”
If I clear my browser, can I vote again?
Use your smart phone. I was tempted but don’t think it will be necessary.
Ex, no fair voting like a Democrat.
If Ballduster McSoulpatch casts a ballot – THAT will be voting like a Democrat!
Guffaw. ;o)
My man the Bernath man for the loser of the year.
Ain’t no winners in this bunch. Heck, that is why they do what the do.
It’s like what I pointed out in last tournament. We’re not really picking the winner, but the biggest stolen valor loser. 🙄
No contest here, Daniel Alan Bernath for Coprolite One.
Normally, I’d double check before sending, not this time… click for “CPO” NOT Daniel Bernath and submit. 😈
Daniel Alan Bernath, not a CPO, never was a CPO in any capacity, not an honorary CPO, will have a New Year’s gift to look forward to… the horse’s ass medal.
I had an idea before I went to bed last night. Someone posted a picture of the “Blue Falcon Award.” Maybe the winner could get one of those.
Perhaps a runoff between Derek Church and Frank Visconi for 3rd and 4th place. Then, for 2nd through 4th place, the silver, bronze, and copper “horse’s ass medals.”
Or, everybody gets a horse’s ass medal, with gold for first, silver for second, bronze for third, and copper (or regular metal) for fourth.
Of course, this’d probably require a fund drive within this community.
Hey, remember that Jordan Taylor, the phony vet panhandler from Montclair, California? On 12/8, the chubby little punk hacks my Facebook account and threatens to sue me for libel and slander. Want to see his latest and greatest? Read his update from just 2 days ago. Here’s the link. http://www.gofundme.com/dqjvrk Now Jordan Taylor is claiming he was with 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division in 2004 in Ramadi of all places! Jordan Taylor never even served! Not one single day. Maybe we can get him in next year’s tournament.
Friend, I just emailed you. Send me what you have on him (including teh legal threats) and I will write something up.
Just sent you the e-mail. Here’s the link to our conversation on my Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/messages/100006889541468
I thought the uniform he’s wearing in his gofundme picture was phased out about 5 or so years ago. Does any unit still use that uniform?
For What its worth Taylor’s case seems to be a clear miss with the records. He is a miserable lazy shitbag who is using is service to get sympathy, He had a Go-FundMe up, When challenged he was able to post up a DD214 that looks legit, He was an egg-slapper( cook) who was in Korea and got deployed from there to Iraq, It looks like he got chaptered out ( probably for weight by the looks of him) He has made no ridiculous claims about heroism or rank, he was pretty convincing as he could name the company he was in, his commanders Sgt Major etc. I got a threat from some shit-bag on facebook, a cock-sniffing cop hater who i told to fuck off, My take: He is a vet, just a pathetic one, Not a poser, not an embellisher, just a bum.
As I see it, Daniel A. “Crash-Cockroach” Bernath being “Coprolite One” – NO! He needs to be remembered as “COPROPHAGE ONE” of 2014!!!
I prefer “Coprolite One,” as “Coprolite” is fossilized shit… shit for near eternity. Shit is still worse than organisms that feed on shit.
Those organisms eventually stop being organisms… shit remains shit, like these turds that we’re voting on.
“Coprolite One” is a bounce of “Enlightened One”.
Oh, and while we are here blobfish, you will have to settle for second worst. I did have high hopes for you, but,,,,, just like everyone else in your life. You had to go and let me down.
Dennis Howard Chevalier, now known as Denny Chevalier, made it this far, which is good. He needs the exposure so that he could get as many Google hits as possible… if we save a woman or two from going to the hospital or morgue, the effort would’ve been worth it.
Daniel Alan Bernath? He continued with the “in your face valor theft” while also causing problems for folks in this community… going as far as disrupting their normal lives.
He “worked hard” to win this tournament as the biggest loser. You know what they say about America, you have to work hard for “success!”
He got it here. 
Denny typifies second place.
First loser.
*AHEM!* Dennis “Blobfish” Chevalier is well on his way to being “COPROPHAGE TWO” of 2014, something he has legitimately achieved all on his own!!!
Dennis Howard Chevalier, now known as “Denny Chevalier”, is the “cheese engorged one”.
He’s the “silver horse’s ass medal” guy. 
And Daniel Alan Bernath, never a CPO, not currently a CPO, not an honorary CPO, is about to be “en-coprolited” into the “en-coprolited-one”.
This is a tough one. My opinion of Lieutenant Colonel Dennis Chevalier, USAF, changed drastically after I found out that he’s a 6-time serial wife beater. And I thought he was just a harmless goof ball…. So it’s come down to The Colonel or The Chief. Like I said, this is a tough one. Think I’ll have to toss a coin. Tails for the Chief! One moment…..tails it is! The Chief wins!
So many good ones this year, but we all knew where this was going and who was going to win.
Chevalier has only lasted this long because he has not had to face Bernath. Sorry Chevy, you’re going down and down hard. Must we even have a vote?
Careful how you use that term, “going down, and down hard.” Chevy just might like that.
I move that the title of “COPROPHAGE ONE” be awarded to Daniel A. “Crash-Cockroach” Bernath and the title of “COPROPHAGE TWO” be awarded to Dennis “BLOBFISH” Chevalier once the votes are officially counted, any seconds?
Nah.
Coprolite One, Aka gold horse’s ass medal guy, for Daniel Allan Bernath. “Cheese engorged one,” aka “Blobfish,” aka Silver Horse’s ass medal guy Dennis Howard Chevalier, now known as Denny Chevalier. (Google hit)
These guys will be shit for near eternity.
If there is one thing Denny H. Chevalier is good at, it is going down like a two dolla ho on payday. The perpetual loser that he is, he will probably take out his frustrations at failing to lose on his new fiance. I hope she gets out of dodge before that happens.
I don’t think there is any valor thief past or present that we know of that could defeat Daniel A. Bernath, aka the Catheter Addict, aka the fake CPO, aka “Crash”, aka failed reverse mental abortion in this tournament.
I’m looking at the vote totals, if this was a prize fight, someone would have thrown the towel already.
404!!! 404!!! 404!!!
I can see the headlines now: Due to high demand to vote for ‘Not an Hornary CPO’, the annual TAH Blue Falcon Torunement, SurveyMonkey has been /.’d (Slash dotted). Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants.
Maybe someone could write some new lyrics to the song “409” in dishonor of Daniel A. “Crash-Cockroach” Bernath using the number “404” instead?
And Burntnuts for the win…
One of the sorriest pieces of human filth to ever grace the pages of a great institution like TAH !!!
I have renamed the litter box of Phuzzz the cat for the dickweed himself.
It is now the Burntnuts Memorial Diner…
What a fucking POS…
Memo to Daniel “404” Bernath:
May the shut you dished out this year be returned to you a thousand fold in 2015 and the rest of your days.
Rustle, rustle, bitch. Even your children hate you. How do you deal with that?
I don’t think they hate him. I mean, you actually have to think of someone to hate them.
Q: Why does Daniel A. Bernath stink?
A: So blind people can also hate him!!
*RUSTLE, RUSTLE!!*
SHALOM, SCHMUCK!!
Shit, not shut. Fucking autocorrect.
I’m still pulling for a Bernath win. If he doesn’t, anyone want to help me plan a peaceful protest? I’m thinking of burning a gas station to the ground, looting no less than three and no more than five stores, and coming up with a catchy phrase that has nothing to do with the original complaint.
Shingles hurt! Don’t shoot!
Catheter insert….Don’t Squirt.
Looting? FIRST DIBS ON BEER!!!
Iiiiiiitsssss . . .
STOLEN VALOR THUNDERDOME!
Two dirtbags enter! One dirtbag leaves!
Both leave. But one walks out, the other is dragged out by his/its heels.
He doesn’t walk out. He requires two canes for show that he’ll probably forget to use.
Catheter addict Daniel A. Bernath for the biggest loser! Even “Heavy Chevy” Denny Chevalier couldn’t compete with Birdbath’s antics, but by George, he sure tried!
If anyone would like to see birdbrain’s latest lunatic rantings, well have some fun. https://disqus.com/by/danielabernath/
Thanks, man. I’ve been dying to read The Chief’s latest and greatest! Holy crap! His profile picture….that sure looks a lot like Eric Frein, the cop killer. Jesus, what a freak that was! Did you know when the Pennsylvania State Police found Eric Frein cowering in that old, abandoned aircraft hanger, they also found a stockpile of soiled adult diapers! Nasty!! You cannot make this stuff up if you tried! And judging by that profile picture, I’d say that Daniel A. Bernath has got some serious anti-government, anti-police issues.
His profile picture on Disqus had better not be who I think it is…
What a sick old man.
Looks like he is trying to slander Don Shipley with some Transsexual/Gay thing. Then he tries to race bait people.
He should not be allowed to even touch a computer.
It takes too long for it to come up on my screen, which may be due to the repellent nature of the subject. My computer has developed a discrete and adverse reaction to anything bernutsless, similar to someone putting squid on your plate when you hate squid. Eeeewww!
However, the colorful reactions indicate that perhaps my computer is right – DON’T LOOK! You’ll be sorry you did.
D. A. “Dumb Ass” Bernath for the title! Not a CPO? Hell, I’m ashamed he was a white hat.
As one of Bernath’s “domestic terrorists,” I would like to wish you best of luck. This may be the first thing in your life you can point to and say “I earned this.”
Just remember, bernutsless copies your work and claims it as his, then tries to destroy you when you sue him for copyright violation.
He steals from SSDI clients and sues them when they want their money that he stole.
He lies like a frayed Persian rug, and blames everything on everyone else.
He hobbles around with dogleg canes but walks quite well when no one is looking.
He didn’t go into the Reserves after he left AD because his biggest fear was that he’d be called back to AD (his words), but he impersonates and steals from people who had lifelong careers in the Navy.
He is the crapweasel personified. How could you vote for anyone else?
In other words, typical LibTard DemonRat behavior.
Ex-PH2,
Don’t forget what the Oregon State Bar has said so succinctly about Daniel A. Bernastypants:
LIAR
FRAUD
DEADBEAT DAD
Hamilton Burger still has “SCOREBOARD” over the never honorary or initiated Chief Petty Officer and Navy SEAL!
Word on the street in PDX land is that Danny was appointed by the National Association of Nitwits and Poopyheads (the other NANP) as an Honorary Crazy Person in Oregon!
I’m rooting for Bernath, I just hope he has enough fuel to make it to the end…
I have a feeling that he has just enough fuel to make it to the ground.
Flagwaver: fuel is indeed required to take off. However, for returning to earth fuel is optional.
If you doubt this, ask Dannie-boi.
I believe he is the inspiration behind the saying “a couple gallons shy of the runway.”
He’s the quintessential “couple ___ shy of ___. Doesn’t matter if it’s gallons and tanks, fries and happy meals, or grades and Chief. This is him in a nutshell.
The only time to have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
Just remember:
Give a man a fire and he’s warm for the night;
Light a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life!
Things heard around the water cooler tomorrow at BurnNuts takes the pie.
Shit I just stepped in some Bernath
Hey don’t be a Bernath
With a Bernath like that, I would not talk.
You left out ‘pulled a bernath’.
Or when someone has to go poop they say “I gotta go drop a Bernath in the pool!”
I was waiting for Heavy Chevy to make his big move…. did he take Birdbath out of the equation?
His big move was apparently to be represented by Bernath. He didn’t quite understand the nuances of the tournament:
When an idiot does something in your name, it belongs to the idiot.
This was meant to be a response to GDContractor, above. Oops, looked like I pulled a momentary Bernath.
That’s okay. The comment that I was responding to has disappeared… I guess that burrito never happened.
I’ll drink to that!
Stay thirsty my friends.
Well, Gas Tank – you certainly can speak with authority about staying thirsty . . . .
Hey Gas Tank, about your feeling empty… IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. OK?!
I doubt his gas tank is empty, if you know what I mean.
I am sure he has had many pumps today and is quite full of “fuel”.
Did someone say fuel?
http://youtu.be/TD_jp5fckR0
XD
Are there 2 bigger douche-bags out there? I think not.
Commander Phil Monkress of All-Points Logistics from last year’s tourney.
But he does not count in this years.
I was thumbing through the dictionary this morning and saw that photoshopped picture of Birdbath next to the definition for shitbird. Every time I see that picture and think of how it was in use at his VFW post, and how he knew it was totally fake but used it anyway, it just confirms what a low life shitbird he really is.
Oh, it’s still there. I stopped in to use the latrine on my way back from a VA appointment and saw the pic. I would have wet my whistle (soda, I was driving), but I was in a rush to get to a toy drive that evening.
That dipshit Birdbrain has no shame and double shame on the VFW post leadership for leaving it up for people to see.
Unfortunately, he knows my face, but that doesn’t matter much. If he causes a scene, then he will see only a smiling face staring back at him. The joys of a great deal of near Zen patience taught to me by martial arts and the Army supply system.
I feel for you knowing what you know about that guy, and still having to look at his piss poor photoshopped head on a man who served honorably. Your level of restraint is admirable. To all those at TAH, akimashite omedito gozimasu!
I smile and bequeath upon my enemies politeness. It is akin to pouring burning coals over their heads.
Take comfort in this, guys.
There is something that exists from some time ago that confirms that birdbrain bernitwit did the Photoshopping job himself.
Cool! And I still think that a one-eyed lobotomized baboon on LSD could do a better photoshop job in a btoom clost than Daniel A. Bernath EVER will!!
Any more word on the photoshop contest with that stupid old dweeb?
I think it went south for the winter.
That hateful critter Bernath, the sort
That howled he’d give everyone a bath in court
He shot and missed,
his cases dismissed,
He screamed he’d keep suing
with his face reddening and bluing,
And in the end everyone laughed and scoffed at Daniel A. Bernath (the SHMENDRICK!)
TSO, im still claiming you sabotaged round ranger, but this year was a gimme for bernasty anyway.
A little chorus for Dannie-boi, the shitty pilot and even shittier “lawer”.
Thanks and a H/T to Andre3000.
Yeah, I know you like to think
Your shit don’t stink
But lean a little bit closer
And the roses really smell like poo-oooo…
Since it’s the end of this campaign season, I’ll just leave this here.
AN ODE TO STOLEN VALOR ASSHATTERY
Part II
By Ex-PH2
Dinosaur, murder, pederast, thief
Everyone of them has been a helluva queef
The Round Ranger really did not fill those pants
‘Cause he couldn’t match my cat’s cheetah stud dance
Cheeseater Blobfish Dennis Chevalier
Is one asswipe we all held so dear
Bernath is the worst of a really bad lot
All his shenanigans just polish the pot
So use steel wool or rum to scrub your brain
I promise you all it will ease your pain
It’s the final vote – stay tuned for the rest
Of the Stolen Valor chosen – the baddest and the best
If brainfarts assail you, keep this in mind:
This is that season, so do be kind
Vote for the nastiest lyingest rat
The one you think is the biggest asshat
There’s only two left – make sure you vote
Vote early, vote often, vote a lot – HELL, JUST VOTE!!!!
And use steel wool or rum to scrub your brain
‘Cause we all know it’ll ease your pain.
© 2014 This Ain’t Hell / Jonn Lilyea
Aren’t we supposed to vote again today? Will there be a new thread or we just do it again?
Not that it matters as it ain’t exactly a cliff hanger. It’s like Kin Dong Dumbshit getting 100% of the vote
Well I think the penis with ears (cheesy lover) needs to finish a strong second so my vote(s) are going his way.
This question has cropped up before but I don’t recall whether there was a definitive answer: Is he who garners the most votes the tournament winner or the tournament’s greatest loser? I think we need an official ruling on this.