Thomas Coaks; phony SEAL admiral of rears

| January 29, 2014

Thomas Coaks

Reader C.L. wants you to meet Rear Admiral Thomas Coaks. Don Shipley actually took the time to look him up in the database and, surprise!, he’s not a SEAL. I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m pretty sure he’s not a Rear Admiral either. He doesn’t show up in the flag officers’ registry. He may be an admiral of someone’s rear, but that doesn’t get him the rank or the pay.

Thomas Coaks FB

Category: Phony soldiers

79 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
MCPO NYC USN Ret.

@ 49. Thanks for NAV update. Have you been tracking on our Phony CPO out of Oregon? If not go above and search CPO.

Sparks

You know I’ve seen on my short time here posers of just about everything. But this is the first Rear Admiral poser I have seen. Maybe there is a higher rank in earlier threads before I was around.

@49 NavyE9r, you ‘da MAN! I mean Master Chief that is.

Hondo

Sparks: we’ve actually featured a “dude” who was sporting a USMC General’s uniform:

http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=39071

Virtual Insanity

#53 Hondo,

And lest we forget, BG Ballduster McSoulpatch!

A Proud Infidel

Aww shit, Hondo, I forgot all about that nuttier-than-squirrel-shit dingbat, he posed as a 4-Star, this dingleberry is only posing with one!! But hey. if his porcine lower posterior is “On leave pending investigation”, I think that’s a helluva good start!! Has Senior Chief (Ret.) Don Shipley torn his ass apart yet?

Hondo

Virtual Insanity: did you mean the late MG Ballduster McSoulpatch? I’m pretty sure that he was wearing 2 stars at the Houston party where he was photographed in Army mess dress and wearing a soul patch.

Sparks

@53 Hondo, sorry, now I remember this guy. Man, does the mind start to slip with age or what?

Annie

I wonder if he lied on his federal job application? That would be bad.

Sparks

Did you hear about the N. Dakota rancher driving along checking his fences when he sees a hitchhiker. He gives the guy a lift. They talk little but the rancher asks his name and the guy says Admiral Coaks. All of a sudden the rancher slams on the brakes and there in the barbed wire is one of his sheep with his head caught. The rancher gets out, goes over, yanks his pants down and tears the sheep a new ass hole. He starts to pull up his pants and yells over to the truck, “Hey, Admiral, you want some of this?”. The guy in the truck yells back, “well…sure I do…but…do I have to stick my head on the barbed wire?”.

Man I love this joke. It’s the third thread I’ve used it on.
😀 😀 😀

Sparks

@59 Apologies to all the ladies in the audience for the joke.

Pam

@59 That joKe is still funny, no matter how many times you tell it.

Brent

Thanks to the keen eye of my friend Rhett and a few others at least this imposter is put in his proper place.

JohnC

African-America, SEAL admiral = unicorn?

rb325th

I wonder how the VA Cop Admiral SEAL Thomas Coaks is enjoying his first day of Adminstrative Leave? Meanwhile his bosses are trying to decide how best to go about firing him for being a lying sack of shit and violating Federal Law. (you would hope)

ABEC (AW) (retired)

Bobo, with a name like “Bobo”, I wouldn’t be talking much about any rate’s ASVAB scores.

Bobo

Chief,

ASVAB line score requirements for ABE – VE+AR+MK+AS= 184

ASVAB line score requirements for MT – AR+MK+EI+GS= 222 or VE+AR+MK+MC= 222.

NHSparky

As long as we’re going there:

Nuclear Power Program
VE+AR+MK+MC OR AR+MK+EI+GS > 235 and >290 + NAPT

OR

above listed line scores >252, then NAPT not required.

Just saying.

Jimshar

Oh c’mon Bobo get off your high friggin horse. Scholastic aptitude does not make you or anyone else smarter or better at what you end up doing in life. As proof I offer up one Harvard Law School graduate who is our current president.

Jimshar

Back on topic…whoever took the time to expose this POS for the poser he really is….BZ!

ArmyATC

I can’t believe someone is running down a MOS (or rate, is that correct Navy guys?) based on the ASVAB score. The ASVAB for Infantry isn’t that high, yet Grunts were among some of the most intelligent people I knew.

As for the Admiral of Rears, it’s good seeing that the VA (may) be taking this seriously. Seriously enough to put him on (paid most likely) administrative leave. Just with the evidence shown here, I don’t see how an investigation could take too long. It’s clear the clown’s a phony and he should pay for his asshattery.

Bobo

NHSparky, I was waiting for the A-bomb of all ASVAB requirements to show up.

The ABE comment that initiated this was in jest. We missile techs were essentially the guys who were mediocre performers in SWSE “A” and weren’t selected to be NAV ETs or FTBs. So, instead of hanging out in nice work spaces programming computers, we were tearing apart hydraulic valves, loading missiles in the freezing rain, and cleaning bilges. To call us a step up from A-gangers would be questionable; we just didn’t have to dive SAN tanks.

Green Thumb

This is the kind of tool that always seems to be hanging out in the men’s room when you need to use it.

Adam 8251

#69…….The people at “you know you’re from VP navy if…” facebook page did all the leg work on exposing him. He requested to join our group. And in a very short time of the page admin posting about him they had him exposed as a phony.

Bobo

Adam 8251 – Did he try to join as a RADM?

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

@ Jimshar … You say, “scholastic aptitude does not make you or anyone else smarter or better at what you end up doing in life”.

I say, “what”?

Read again what you wrote.

A high scholastic aptitude means you are smarter.

A low scholastic aptitude means you are a dumbass.

A smart person generally does better in life.

A dunbass generally does poorly in life.

Any questions?

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

If you are speaking a raw intelligence (IQ). That is a different story all together and I can say:

A person with high intel Q can be a total dumbass and do poorly in life.

A person with low intel Q can do well in school and life as well.

But what do I know?

I am just a freckled faced dumbass who never achieved much at all!

The Lurker Formally Known as Curt

Uh oh…poked the Master Chief…

Matthew Maxon

The pic where he is in the cammo next to the Navy flag and he has on a star, is it me or is that Marine cammo? I figured the RAdm would know about that? I could be wrong though.

Bubblehead

You’re correct, I noticed that too. He should have known better. He’s got a picture on his FB page of him as a junior sailor. So not only is he a poser and liar, he’s an embellisher. Scotty should get his FOIA and post it so we can see what he actually was.