Guest post: Stu; Quiet Clay
Jonn writes; I’m out for the weekend to a family event, so Stu offers this in my stead;
This could be more for my own personal good than the good of anyone else, and it is not intended to be a history lesson or a political statement, but sometimes you got to do something to get things off your mind.
Sometimes when I get all rung out reading and keeping up on the issues and events happening with or to my fellow Veterans I have to stop and read the attached article from the Stars and Stripes that was printed just before I returned from Iraq in 06. It never fails to bring tears to my eyes and re-enforce my feeling that Veterans are a special class of people and makes me grateful that so many men and women continue to serve, and that I was given the privilege to serve with some of the finest Soldiers.
Who else would actually volunteer for service that could lead to the outcome detailed in the article by COL Frank? A subculture that values those three sacred words, DUTY-HONOR-COUNTRY (General Douglas MacArthur at West Point on 12 May 1962) a subculture that would rather give their own life so that others they don’t even know can sleep safe in their beds at night, or hang out at the mall on texting on the latest cell phone thing. We are a group of people who would rather die than surrender their belief in the principles of freedom, our form of government, and commitment to their fellow service members.
There is the problem in my eyes with some of the MSM today. Seems every story if it involves someone doing something bad the speculation begins, was the suspect a Veteran? Then the wild guesses about PTSD, and they must be damaged goods turned loose on the public by the military, even before the facts are in. Standard policy seems to be blame first and retract or just forget it was said later on when it comes out they weren’t. I don’t see many if any in the MSM taking “our” side. Maybe if a few of them had actually served instead of watched it on TV they would understand, nope, don’t think so, they just ain’t wired that way I guess.
Let’s face it, they (civilians, military family members excluded) don’t understand us, and we scare them. They can’t get a grasp on the commitment and sacrifice that a service member makes, and what our “work” environment has the potential to be. We speak a different dialect. When a few of us get together even though complete strangers we can be laughing and talking like long lost friends in mere minutes, and moments later crying together over the fallen.
Some of us have tattoos of scary stuff, some dealing with dark or morbid images and the names of the fallen and dates and times they think we should want to forget, yet we chose to remember, and refuse to forget. We get upset because someone wears some little piece of cloth or ribbon with a metal trinket one the end in funny shapes they bought at a pawn shop or surplus store. We put things like SGT, MSG, CPT, and (Ret) and such behind our names like it is some sort of college thing or something. Yep, after a decade of conflict one would think “they” would catch on, but that saying I seen some years ago is true.
The Marines are at war, America is at the mall.
Stu
Quiet Clay
By Dr. (Col.) W. Thomas Frank
European edition, Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Note: This column appeared Sept. 26 on the Opinion page in the Mideast, European and Pacific editions.
It’s Sunday in Afghanistan.
I was sitting — completing some clerical task or other — when the patient administration clerk stood at the door.
“Sir, mortuary affairs needs a doctor.”
“What?” I replied. “The last place they should need a doctor is mortuary affairs.”
“No, sir. They need a doctor to sign some death certificates.”
Usually on a Sunday, I can finish my work a little early and take some time off in my hooch — watch a movie, read or nap. I was eager to do so now.
I walked to the ER to see if the doc there was busy. If not, he could do this. This is a task that would usually fall upon the ER doc, but I suspected he was engaged. The telltale sound of a chopper outside suggested more business was at hand. The doc in the ER was working on a wounded American soldier.
“All right, I’ll go,” I muttered, an irritated edge in my voice.
The mortuary affairs sergeant picked me up in his white van — unmarked except for a white placard in the window that declared “Mortuary Affairs” for all to see. We drove up the ironically named “Disney Drive” — which is, in fact, named for a dead American soldier rather than for the fairy tale king — until we came to the little plywood hut that is mortuary affairs.
Outside were several stacks of oblong aluminum boxes labeled “head” on one end and “feet” on the other. Inside the building was cool and it had a tiled floor — a distinctly unusual feature for these field buildings. The tile here of course has a purpose. It can be easily washed, and there is a drain in the center.
In the middle of the room were three stretchers on stretcher stands. On each stretcher was a body bag.
“Here you go,” said a soldier who handed me a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. A death certificate.
He walked over to the first bag and, without flourish, unzipped it and pulled it open. Before me lay a young man perhaps 19 or 20. His eyes closed. His uniform in tatters. The flesh of his face and torso seared a brown color but not blackened.
Across his chest and flanks, large patches of flesh hung off in loose swatches. There was a large wound in his lower left leg.
I picked up the clipboard and stared blankly at the form.
“Cause of death.” What was it? That leg wound clearly wasn’t the cause.
I asked the soldier to lift the head of the corpse so I would know if there was any obvious brain injury. No. The head was intact. His mouth and nose were clearly burned, however. The last gulps of air he took into his lungs were on fire. He died of “burns.”
The next bag was unzipped. I stepped back. It was a woman. I hadn’t expected a woman.
Her arms were reaching up in front of her, her fingers having a grasping aspect — as if they were trying to steal back life from the lifeless air around her.
Where her head should have been, there was only a chin. Her uniform blouse was pulled up a bit revealing a regulation brown T-shirt tucked into her trousers.
Her belt, I noted, was exactly like mine. Store-bought, nonissue variety. It was pulled tight — just the way she had done it yesterday morning. Tomorrow someone else would loosen it.
I picked up the clipboard. “Cause of death.” I obviously couldn’t write “head blown off.” I thought for a minute. “Traumatic brain injury.” I first printed, then signed my name.
In the clerk’s office of this girl’s hometown, three pieces of paper would likely summarize her life — a birth certificate, a marriage certificate and a death certificate.
Now the third bag was opened. This soldier looked younger. His face was less altered by death. Aside from a few places where his skin was scorched, his face looked like that of one asleep.
Strange, I thought. He looks a little like me.
Below his neck his uniform was in disarray. His skin was burnt. There was a large defect in his groin where his thigh joined the hip, both legs nearly separated below the knees. “Cause of death — burns.”
I stood back. It was so quiet. A poet once referred to a corpse as “quiet clay.” How odd, I thought when I first read it. How true, I thought, as I looked upon these three dead American soldiers. They never expected to die. Given a choice they would not be dead now.
They, like me, had read each day the names and number of the day’s dead in our newspaper, Stars and Stripes. They, like me, never thought their names would one day appear. They were driving down the road. They never saw the blast. Their vehicle was engulfed in flames. One had died in the explosion — instantly. The other two could not get out before being consumed by the fire. So now there were three dead American soldiers.
They were dealt a bad hand. Today I considered something I had never before given much thought — the fact that I, too, am playing at the same table.
I have six more months of hands to play. Six more months of hands to be dealt. Like me, they too were married. They too expected to return to their lives again. When they pulled their belts tight … they expected to loosen them again. Now someone else will loosen them.
I felt some shame for the frustration that I had expressed before coming here.
The driver took me back to the hospital. The duty physician and a couple of other docs were still working on our fresh casualties in the ER.
I finished my work at my desk without much heart and was surprised when the loudspeaker system announced there would be a fallen comrade ceremony in one hour. The bodies would be flown out today. I hadn’t expected that.
At the appointed time, I joined the commander and the sergeant major and we drove out to the airfield where a C-17 was waiting with the ramp down. The senior officers of the installation stood on the tarmac nearest the airplane, as they always do for these occasions.
All along the road for a mile or so — from mortuary affairs to the airfield — soldiers lined up to pay their respects to the “quiet clay” as it proceeded to the airfield. For these few minutes most, I suspect, were aware that we are all playing at the same table — and every day each of us is dealt a new hand. Soon we were called to attention and then, to the strains of the dead march, the colors passed by and the aluminum boxes were carried past, now draped with flags.
I go to ceremonies like this at least once or twice a week. But today was different. I had seen these soldiers — I knew what was in those boxes.
Usually, once the coffins have been brought up the ramp, we stand at attention on the tarmac, while the generals and a few of those who served with the dead go up the ramp of the airplane and pay respects at the boxes themselves. Today we went into the airplane, too, because two of them were medics.
Each person in the plane walked past the coffins and knelt — most in prayer. I rested my hand on each box and said to myself, “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
Tomorrow, when I cinch my belt, I will think of three dead American soldiers and I will think of my wife and my daughter and of home.
Dr. (Col.) W. Thomas Frank is deputy commander for clinical services at the 14th Combat Support Hospital, Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan.
Category: Politics
Disney Avenue at Bagram AB. Yeah, I remember Disney Avenue.
Standing alongside that particular road, saluting, is something that’s rather hard to forget. That’s true regardless of who they were, or whether or not you knew them.
Rest in peace, my brothers – and sisters – in arms. Rest in peace.
For us, remembering the fallen and their families is a sacred trust. We may have known some personally. We may have known none personally. But we knew them all. God bless them and their families.
That is tough
Outstanding writing and good read. Head hanging low!
Not an easy read.
Hard memories return to haunt me
Stu: thank you for republishing Dr Frank’s story. I had never read it.
And thank you for your to-the-point eloquence…right in the V-ring.
It was for my own good, a release if you will, as strange as it sounds I still have the original I tore out of the issue of the Stars and Stripes. It never fails to move me to tears, and as morbid as it may sound, I come out the other side with a renewed commitment to insure the price paid by our Brothers and Sisters is not forgotten nor lessened by those who would degrade our community regardless of their motivation.
Stu
[…] Farewells for the Fallen August 26th, 2012 Stu’s article the other day – the one repeating Dr. (COL) Frank’s 2006 Stars and Stripes article – brought to the […]
Stu,,The only thing I can say is Thank You.