Ken Woerheide – Phony SEAL

| June 20, 2019

The folks at Military Phony sent us their work on Kenneth Miles Woerheide who is a retired Senior Chief Boiler Tech.  Ken lives in Carrollton Virginia and is 64 years old as of June 2019.

Ken both claims he was a SEAL and was jump qualified by nature of wearing a SEAL Trident Insignia as well as Parachute Jump Wings.  This case may hold the record for the longest time – almost 40 years – to acquire the necessary evidence to nail the facts down.

It seems Ken was saying he was a SEAL as far back as 1981-82 when he served aboard the USS Blandy.  Later, he was called out by SEALs and made an appearance on a list of SEAL wannabes put out by VeriSEAL.

We don’t know how successful this was at stopping his claims, but recently his girlfriend posted a photo of Ken and incorporated it as part of her Facebook profile.


After contacting the SEAL archives and checking the SEAL-BUD/S database, the name ‘Kenneth Woerheide’ was not found as being a Navy SEAL.

Woerheide’s official military records were ordered through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

This is peculiar – Woerheide has a “SEAL TRIDENT INSIGNIA” listed under his awards and decorations, but he has no entry for BUD/S training or any SEAL duty assignments.  On his Summary Sheet, it has him as Surface Warfare (SW) qualified but does not mention SEAL.  If he was a SEAL, he would also have an entry for the SEAL NEC and how long he held it.

No training as a Navy SEAL.  Most all training is as a Boiler Tech.

There is no parachute qualification, either.

Thinking this may be confusing to some, we contacted Special Operations Command (SOCOM) to get the final word…

So, if SOCOM as the ultimate authority confirms that Ken Woerheide was not a Navy SEAL, how did the SEAL Trident get in his official records?

We look forward to how the good folks that read this will speculate as to how this could happen, but our money is on a yeoman/personnelman doing it with or without a full understanding of what they were doing.  Either that or there’s a possibility that Kenny himself took liberties with his own record between duty stations.  Back in the day, a member could hand carry their records between duty stations.  They changed this policy to avoid people making entries in their own records or tearing out page 13 entries with embarrassing administrative remarks.

As for Senior Chief Woerheide – he should have known exactly what he was doing and would know he did not rate the SEAL Trident or the Jump Wings.  There is no possibility he thought they looked similar to other insignias and put them on by mistake or mistakenly thought he earned them by doing a few correspondence courses… NO, not a chance.  One could possibly buy those stories if Woerheide was a junior rated sailor, but as a Senior Chief in the Navy, he KNEW.

He’s retired now and drawing a pension.  There has been some talk about how retirees are still subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).  The question is – did he use the SEAL claim as leverage for job positions and advancement?  It is hard to believe that didn’t happen.

Just to clear up any confusion – Kenneth Miles Woerheide was NOT a Navy SEAL.

Oh… and let’s not forget the bathroom selfies:

Category: Fake SEAL, Phony SEAL

Comments (140)

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  1. sj says:

    “Meretorious” Unit Citation?????

    • 26Limabeans says:


    • Claw says:

      I saw that also. There are 12 entries in the Awards and Decorations section. In some way shape or form, 6 out of the 12 entries are wrong. I’m thinking that whomever (??/YMMV) put those entries into his file or the NPRC Tech that typed it up should have gotten the retard beat out of him back in grade school (H/T to RGR 4-78) for creating a document like that./s

      • RGR 4-78 says:


        • thebesig says:

          I’m gathering, from the above post and in these comments, that Kenneth Woerheide is a phony Navy SEAL. Duck Duck Go hit.

      • rgr769 says:

        It was easy peasy to add awards and decorations you didn’t earn to your 201 (personnel file) back in the day. As most here know, one carried their original 201 file to the new PCS assignment. It would then be turned into the personnel section of the new unit or station. I carried mine every time I PCS’d. All I had to do was take a typewriter to it that had the correct type size, and wa la, a few badges or ribbons I didn’t earn. Unless someone audited your primary personnel form and file for qualifying orders for the awards, you could get away it. When I was discharged from active duty, I believe I hand carried my personnel file to the admin clerk who typed my DD214, so if I had added something to my Form 66, he wouldn’t know unless he spent 20 minutes going through my file. He didn’t do that. He just looked at what was on the Form 66, assuming everything on it was legit and typed the 214. He then asked if everything on it was correct, the AG LT and I signed it, and I was out the door.

        • Mustang Major says:

          Saw a BSM added to a recruiter’s personal file while I was stationed in Portland, OR, in the early ’70s. One recruiter told a recruiter with a personnel MOS background that he should have been awarded a BSM while in Vietnam. The recruiter with personnel experience said “No problen, I know what to type in your file.” Hence, an award of the BSM.

          Then there was the SSG Ranger instructor at Ft. Benning in ’84 that had typed in Ranger school graduate in his personnel file while in route to Ft. Benning. They caught that one after a few months and it wasn’t pretty.

    • Anonymous says:

      PTSD from being in The Shit affected his spelling or something…

  2. Comm Center Rat says:

    Once the Navy’s finished persecuting Chief Gallagher, it can recall this retired SCPO to active duty to face court martial for wearing an unearned Trident. Apparently, this guy Ken was so shit hot he was promoted to E-8 and retired before logging 20 years of service (Temporary Early Retirement Authority?) in the early 90s. Impressive career achievements now diluted by being a liar and poser.

    • Ret_25X says:

      He retired Jan 28 91? What else was going on at that time?……it was something military…

      oh yeah! Desert Storm….

      I am not sure, but I don’t think the TERA or VSI/SRB started until 92/93 timeframe, so this retirement date is weird.

      Unless it is a medical board action…

      • Daisy Cutter says:

        Ken War-Hide

      • Hondo says:

        Medical is one possibility that comes to mind.

        However, I’ve also read in comments from Navy folks who served “back in the day” that the Navy at one time offered additional service credit for “re-upping” early. If I recall correctly, one Navy commenter indicated he knew someone who’d gotten to retire nearly a full year early due to that program.

        This guy retired exactly 9 mo prior to having 20 years active duty. I guess it’s possible that was in play here. Disregard – bad mental math. Probably should have more coffee. (smile)

      • Claw says:

        I’m thinking his retirement at the 18 year, 4 month mark also was a medical board action.

        Especially since the Desert Storm Stop-Loss (that put everybody else on the planet into limbo) went into effect on 22 Aug 1990, when Section 12305 of Executive Order 12728 was implemented.

        • NHSparky says:

          About the only Navy folks stop loss involved were SEALs and EOD, IIRC. Have to reach into the wayback machine to verify that, tho.

          • Claw says:

            Hmmm, interesting. Didn’t know the Dept of the Navy would have been able to cherry-pick rates/units for exemption to a DOD policy, but here again YMMV./s

          • NECCSEABEECPO says:

            Navy didn’t do stop loss back then for any rates. The SEAL’s were barley involved with only one Team over there on ground Team Five, they had some Dets also floating, but NSW involvement for this round was not large or anticipated to be so. We supported the small contingent that was Boots on ground. The NSW camp was right down the road and the EOD mobile UNIT stayed with us. The Navy had no need to do a stop loss, now OIF changed and they did do some with NSW and NECC types like EOD and Seabees for a time period, depending on NEC’s.

            • NHSparky says:

              Okay. I said that because I knew a number of people who hot out in late 1990/early 1991, DS/DS be damned.

    • HMC Ret says:

      He MAY have earned Constructive Time, which was very common in the 70s and, I think, maybe into the 80s. If one reenlisted prior to the completion of the current enlistment, they could ‘gain’ I think up to six months that counted toward the 20. Sweet deal. I see one point where it appears he earned a month, +/-. I don’t think he could have accumulated the necessary time he has by doing this, though.

  3. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Senior Chief and he FAKES being a SEAL? Sunnuvabitch…

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      He’s an E-8, API… Real Deal CPO’s, SCPO’s and MCPO’s don’t pull STOLEN VALOR shit.

      Oh, BTW, he’s a COCKSUCKER!

  4. Mason says:

    That looks like a PH ribbon he’s wearing in that photo, doesn’t it?

    Though if it is, it’s out of order and there is no CAR to accompany it.

    • OldManchu says:

      I noticed that same thing.

    • jim h says:

      forgive me, im just an ignorant old army gravel technician, but is that one of those weird battle E ribbon things?

      and what exactly is that thing awarded for anyhow? i still cant quite figure it out. is that kinda like where you get one if your boat successfully completes a wargame or something? no disrespect intended to my terrestrially impaired friends – i’m genuinely curious.

      • Stephan says:

        The Battle “E” is awarded to a ship who successfully completes and scores high on all shipboard inspections. Each department is required to go through an inspection from an outside inspection group. So anybody on board during that time frame is authorized to wear the Battle “E” ribbon with device.

      • NHSparky says:

        Yup, that’s a Battle “E” ribbon.

        Tell ya what, that takes some serious fucking balls to wear that Trident in front of your CO.

    • Hondo says:

      It could we ll be the Battle E ribbon as jim h suggests.

      Depending on precisely when that photo was taken, even if it were the PH it may not be out of order. Until someitime in the 1980s, the PH was worn with service medals; it’s precedence was immediately before the various service GCMs. I believe the year that changed was 1986, when the PH was moved up in precedence to just before the DMSM.


      The CAR, does not have to accompany the PH. One can earn a PH and be denied the CAR, as do to INDRIECT contact, not Direct Contact, under old CAR instruction.

      • Anonymous says:

        So, he could’ve been wackin’ it in the when a rocket/mortar came in and detonated near him. (Hey, just giving putzboy benefit of the doubt… )

        • Hondo says:

          Don’t laugh – legit PHs are sometimes awarded for wounds received under, um, odd circumstances.

          While deployed, another unit we supported had a guy get a PH for injuries received in the latrine during a rocket attack.

          Legit? Yeah. But I’d certainly hate to have to explain that one to the grandkids. (smile)

  5. OldManchu says:

    Bathroom selfies are so freaking creepy when men take them. Especially dirty old men like Ken Whore-hyde.

    Creepy bastard.

  6. 26Limabeans says:

    “Back in the day, a member could hand carry their records between duty stations”

    Back in the 80’s an appointment at the VA would begin with you obtaining your file and hand carrying it to your doctor. There was no electronic access. The physical file was hand carried by YOU.
    No wonder the halls were filled with vets leaning against the walls while perusing their files and making shit disappear or be edited.
    Saw it with my own eyes many times.
    Never altered my own file but made damn sure I knew what was in it. And not.

    I would assume a similar situation is at hand here.

    • MI Ranger says:

      I distinctly remember some heat related issues “falling out” of my medical file in the parking lot on the way to my Ranger physical…but I still ended up going to a Winter Class!

  7. 26Limabeans says:

    Vietnam Service Medal (2nd award)?

    I don’t get it.
    What device would indicate that?

    • JBUSMC says:

      A kernel of rice

    • Hondo says:

      I think that was an error on a clerk’s part who perpared the FOIA reply – e.g., they mistook a campaign star for a 2nd award star. If his only qual for the VSM was for early 1973, he might ony have served during one Vietnam campaign.

      • 26Limabeans says:

        The “bronze service star” has been a well tried subject of posers and to a much lesser degree the “silver service star” for five campaigns.
        But this “clerk” has opened a whole new path to heroism for those who wish go there.
        Yeah, 73 would have gotten him a “cease fire” service star but way too early for the last period “frequent wind”.

        So the VSM with a Bronze Service Star shall now be the 2nd Award. Look for it in future cases.

        • Claw says:

          Both the 1st and 3rd SEACs could not be reached for comment regarding Bronze Service Stars being utilized as subsequent awards for the NDSM./s

          • 26Limbeans says:

            The NDSM is ripe for all sorts of appedages.
            According to the “clerk” above I have the VSM (4th award) which means I did four tours.
            Gotta get my DD214 to reflect that.
            Move my DEROS up three years and put in for back pay.

  8. HT '83-'87 says:

    According to his FB profile, he works for Huntington Ingalls and works in Newport News, VA which is strangely enough the home of the Newport News Naval Shipyard. If he’s bumping around the shipyard as fake SEAL, me may have some ‘splainin to do. There has to be some TAH readers in the area that may be able to provide some input.

  9. Stephan says:

    The Battle “E” is awarded to a ship who successfully completes and scores high on all shipboard inspections. Each department is required to go through an inspection from an outside inspection group. So anybody on board during that time frame is authorized to wear the Battle “E” ribbon with device.

  10. Morgan Blake says:

    QUESTION: Which official investigative organization would this fall under?

    NCIS claims they cannot do anything because he is retired. Is it the FBI then?

    • Comm Center Rat says:

      From the Tully Rinckey PLLC website authored by Matthew Tully who has a military law specialization:

      “Under Department of Defense Directive 1352.1, military retirees can be ordered to active duty to perform duties deemed by the Secretary of Defense to be “in the interests of national defense”—including standing at court-martial proceedings.”

      “The 2008 case of U.S. v. Lantz Nave illustrates how a retiree could be involuntarily ordered to active duty to face court-martial charges.”

      • Morgan Blake says:

        That’s good.

        Do you have any suggestion as to the Point of Contact for who we alert by sending the information to in order to get this in the queue/for consideration/to-do/take action on hopper?

        • Morgan Blake says:

          SecDef’s office?

          • Comm Center Rat says:

            I think General Jim “Mad Dog” Mattis is the only military man on the planet who could make such a recall happen. The acting SECDEF Patrick Shanahan is battling spousal abuse charges so I can’t imagine SCPO Ken is even on the department’s radar screen. Plus too much bad publicity with Chief Gallagher’s persecution I mean prosecution.

        • Eden says:

          How about The Hair?

  11. Jay says:

    One has to wonder:

    1: How long that SEAL TRIDENT INSIGNIA was listed under awards and decorations?
    2. How MANY of the awards and decorations (besides the Trident/jump wings) are fake?
    C. Did it allow him leverage to rocket all the way up to Senior Chief?
    4. Why is he smiling like he just fucked the neighbor’s cat?

  12. Eden says:

    I’m going with the theory that he doctored his own records. No personnel clerk would get away with misspelling common awards and decs like this.

    • PTBH says:

      After reading over the Awards, we immediatly followed up with NPRC and asked if they were transcribed directly from the DD-214 or taken from another section? We then asked if the SEAL TRIDENT INSIGNIA was specifically listed on the DD-214?

      I was told that NPRC “would not be able to provide additional information beyond what was already given to us on the FOIA results.”

      Sometimes they answer followup questions and sometimes they don’t. This was one of those times that they didn’t.

  13. Hondo says:

    OK, one of you USN/USMC types help out here. What in the hell is that “Vietnam Marines Operations Medal” listed in his awards and decorations in the FOIA reply?

    • Comm Center Rat says:

      I think that one is actually the Boiler Technician Medal For Operational Excellence In Surface Warfare.

      • Anonymous says:

        Those Marine AMTRACs had hellacious boiler rooms crewed by Navy folk in the ‘Nam, of course…

    • NHSparky says:

      That’s what we in the USN/USMC colloquially refer to as a steaming fucking pile of bullshit.

    • Jim Grindstaff says:

      It does not exist. additionally, the USN does not award “badges” for pistol and rifle marksmanship. Further, when entered, the award is for “pistol” or “Rifle” and not for specific weapons–BTW, what is an AR-15 BAR?

      • Claw says:

        AR-15 BAR = In the manner the entry is typed, it’s supposed to mean what is known in the Army as a Current Weapon Qualification Clasp for the AR-15.

        That is a non-existent second cousin, once removed relative of the Floor Buffer Clasp./smile

      • MCPO USN says:


        The Navy does offer the Distinguished Marksman/Pistol Shot Badge: I had a Sailor on the team who won the Pistol Championship. Not many people are aware of this.

        As for this E-8 faker, I think the Vietnam Marines OPerations Medal he is trying to award himself is this:
        Vietnam Service Medal: Instituted by President Lyndon B. Johnson in 1665 to all those who served in the Vietnam theater including Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia. It is also awarded to those who participated in the Evacuation of Saigon after it fell and was captured by North Korea.

        The ribbon is authorized for three devices: the arrowhead device, a service (campaign) star, and a Fleet Marine Force combat operation insignia. The Fleet Marine Force insignia is for Navy personnel assigned to a Marine Corps unit during combat.

        Just more bullshit from a professional liar. I know people at Huntington Ingalls in Newport News. Will be interesting to hear what lies he tells at work.

    • CplMajor Mike says:

      Shit, I did it again, hit report instead of reply, sorry Hondo. I also was wondering just what the hell the Vietnam Marines Operations Medal is, I didn’t get mine!!

  14. Charles says:

    I’m not an expert on Navy Rank/Ratings, but doesn’t it appear that back in the mid-1970’s be bounced up and down from:
    Boiler Tech “BT” 1, 2 and 3?
    Doesn’t that mean E1, E2 & E3?

    He appears to have been a BT1 (E1?) as late as January 1984, but made Senior Chief (E8) by his discharge on September 28, 1992.
    Seven promotions in eight years?

    He did spend his last year or so in hospital.

    At least, he did appear to have served off the coast of Viet Nam during the 1973 ~ 1976 time frame, perhaps two cruises, based on this unofficial web site:

  15. NHSparky says:

    Fuck this turd. He’s not a Senior Chief, just another E-8, and a jacked up one at that.

    Hope the Mess polices this clown fast and hard.

  16. Another black mark for the Engineering Dept. Kind of late in the week for a phony Seal start.

  17. ChipNASA says:

    I only have this to say to Kenneth Miles Woerheide and TAH.

    NO, You can’t have the coveted The Hemisphere of Insults®™ because you dun fucked up so bad, I won’t consider honoring you with it.

    I’ll let Karma and Google do its work on you.


    “If you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off.”

    • Sarge says:

      Soon as I finish the Alphabet Assault, I’ll drop it your way.

      26 lines of hilarity

      • ChipNASA says:

        Look Forward to it. 🙂

        • Sarge says:

          it was on the back burner for a few months but this Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch got me off my ass.

          SCI nom letters can wait a few hours

          • 5th/77th FA says:

            Late to the party! Had an oh god thirty run to the ATL Airport and back, then did a nap. Saw this fool on the MP Linky last night and was even then drooling over the piling on of his lying embellishing selfie taking ass. Makes one wonder what other weird crap he may do in the men’s room.

            Be good to see the Alphabet Assault Sarge, remembered you had posted something about that awhile back. Thought I had missed it…Bring it! Cleared hot!

            And BTW…F you Kenneth Miles Woerheide. Early medical discharge due to a bruised taint? May be qualified as Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the rear)!

            • Sarge says:

              Troops! Fall in!

              The time has come to unleash the Alphabet Assault. S-2 has determined the existence of a dirtbag in need of schooling, and no better opportunity exists that to hit them with the Alphabet Assualt.

              Ken Woerhiede, you have made false claims, taken what is not yours, and insulted the legacy of the veterans before you. You have taken a shit on your perfectly fine military record at a time where many were spit on and treated with scorn for their service.

              For this, you have earned the ALPHABET ASSAULT:

              Annoying asinine asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag; erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher; no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage; queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty; wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick.

              Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire.

              Most importantly,

              GOD BLESS AMERICA

              Troops! FALLOUT!

              Choir Practice at the bleachers, 1900 hrs.

              (sorry for delay, NIPR died)

              • 5th/77th FA says:

                “My Country ’tis of thee, Sweet Land of Liberty,,,of Thee I Sing….”

                Outstanding Sarge! You are hereby relieved of any CQ Duty until further notice.

                Cold beers are on me!

                • Sarge says:

                  Could not think of a better American beer right now than a ice cold Sam Adams.

                  I do have some longboard lager in the mini fridge…gift from someone who needed a “quick favor” that took over an hour.

              • 26Limabeans says:

                “jellyfish jism”

                good one

              • SFC D says:

                Spiro T. Agnew would be proud! That was an amazing act of absolutely astounding alliteration!

              • Morgan Blake says:

                I hate to even question such a find piece of literary art…

                … but should “Shit surping” be “Shit slurping?”

              • A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

                Good drop on that jitteri jizz junkie!

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Well, I read all that, and my response is simplicity at its most simple:

      He’s an asshole.

      End of story.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      ‘Speakin of the HOI®™,didja ever see the TWO calls for it on the threads about Swallowell?

      • ChipNASA says:

        Hi Guys,
        Late to the party.
        Just FYI, Sarge
        I believe that you’ve already given permissions and with proper credit, I will add the ALPHABET ASSAULT, to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™
        It’s going to be BIGLEY!!

  18. Keepin' It Real says:


    “There I was… a mediocre sailor at best. I told myself that I was going to make things better. Lo and behold, when I transferred to a new command, it suddenly appeared in my military records that I was now a Navy SEAL. Who was I to question divine intervention? So I went with it.”

    — Kenny Woerheide —


  19. Mustang Major says:

    This is a sad case. Made E-8, and had to get caught up in this stupid crap as a retiree years later.

    I could be wrong, but I don’t suspect that many SEALS get out of the special opps career field to become boiler men on ships. Didn’t anyone in his chain of command ever stop to wonder what a chief in the engineering department working below deck for a fair amount of his time doing wearing SEAL badge?

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      I was wondering the same thing. They don’t just make you a SEAL and then release you to the fleet to do other things.

      Woerheide was treating it like it was a club membership.

  20. HMC Ret says:

    You’re right, Mustang Major, he made 8 but never made Senior Chief.

    • Mustang Major says:

      Arn’t they one in the same?

      • Daisy Cutter says:

        It’s a Navy thing. A Chief does not show the proper, expected integrity of the Chief’s community he is referred to as an “E-7” vs. a Chief. Technically one in the same as you suggest, but shunned by the Chief’s Mess by not referring to him as a Chief.

        Same for E-8 and Senior Chief. I’ve not heard this for E-9 and Master Chief but I’m sure it applies… just not that many Master Chiefs that screw up.

      • Claw says:

        No Sir, not the same. But here at TAH, if you really want to bitch-slap someone for being a POS, you lower case the “E” or “O” in the paygrade./smile

        • Sarge says:

          We do the same thing in the Air Force. We have Chiefs and we have E-9s.

          Some you respect the man, others you respect the rank they wear.

          • Claw says:

            Yep, same thing for we old Army Geezer types.

            As a further means of slapping high pay grade POSs’ around, we will refer to them as Spec8 or Spec9./smile

            • SFC D says:

              As in Spec8 Moerk.

              • 3/10/MED/b says:

                Throwing ARCOMs all around.

                Knees and jaws a little sore?
                (I was about to say ‘Top’, but that would be disrespectful to all the real TOPs I served with.)
                Will go with SFC D’s appropriation of Spec 8.

              • Claw says:

                Lest We Forget:

                Despite making the ultimate sacrifice, (of giving her Woobie to a soldier who couldn’t sleep because of the cold) Spec8 Moerk has not yet been able to attain selection to the Army’s E-9 list./smile

                • The Stranger says:

                  Did she really publicize the poncho liner story? That’s expected behavior from a good NCO or officer. Hopefully she’ll never make SGM. If she does, they should present her with the designed, but apparently never awarded, SPEC9 rank insignia!

                  • Claw says:

                    “publicize the poncho liner story?”

                    As I remember, she had posted it to her personal web-blog as a Look At Me feel good story, and then when the fecal matter struck the oscillating cooling device, the blog locked out all further access.

                    So, Yeah./smile

  21. Morgan Blake says:

    Ya gotta hand it to ol’ Kenny. He has his Facebook page still up. I guess he feels that he’s entitled to his lie since he went through the trouble of going down to the Navy Exchange and buying himself a SEAL Trident insignia.

    Whatever happened to Honor, Courage and Commitment?

    All Navy Chiefs call on Ken Woerheide to do the honorable thing and apologize to the SEAL community. Do not continue to bring dishonor to the Chief’s Mess.

    • Sarge says:

      Hippy Hulk Hogan Hipster Hopeful

      Does that make me a hater?

    • Jim Grindstaff says:

      Harassing the gf is out of line. Please remove her information and her FB link. I have been in contact with her and she is not the fake here. This is bad news to her and she does not need the bullshit that people have been posting on her FB page. Thanks.

  22. Claw says:

    Poser Update: For those of you with a Book of the Face access, the girlfriend just updated her profile picture with a picture of Whore-Hide wearing a SEAL Trident as a lapel pin on a suit coat.

    The picture seems to be fairly recent (like in the past two weeks?) and not a picture from 30 years ago.

    • Jim Grindstaff says:

      Don’t harass the gf (ex-gf, now). She did not have anything to do with Woerheide’s fakeries. I have been in contact with her and people are posting crap on her FB page. I am going to send Ken Woerheide a message to ask him to remove external links to other people’s FB pages. He seems to be reading my messages to him, but not responding.

      • Claw says:

        Roger – Out.

        Did not know that relaying readily available public information constituted harassment.

        • 3/10/MED/b says:

          “…not responding…”

          In my worst Jim Nabors impression,
          “Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!!”

    • ChipNASA says:

      And surprise, surprise, surprise, he’s sanitized his Book of Face from all his military Bullshit.

      HEY KEN, are you too much of a pussy to show up here and discuss your fakery?

      Yeah, I thought so.

      You’re not even man enough to be a chewtoy.

      Apparently your girlfriend is/has kicked you to the curb.
      *grumpy cat face*

  23. HM3(FMF) Kerns, Eric says:

    This guy is a great example of how technology has caught up with us, things you could do 30 years ago you cannot get away with in today’s times. I had an uncle who used to make up his own insurance cards for when he was pulled over by the police the police would check to make sure you had insurance but they never would follow up to ensure that the insurance company you had listed was correct or even a legit company. Today you cannot do that because police have technology in their cars and they can verify if the insurance you have submitted his current, accurate, and correct. This guy probably could have gotten away with his lies within his local community if he had not posted on the social media sites Facebook or Instagram etc.

    • 3/10/MED/b says:

      Mr. Kerns, take a deep breath.

      Take another.

      Try again.

      Can’t speak for the majority, but I would like to hear the story.

  24. 3/10/MED/b says:

    Don’t lie about your military service, or lack thereof. For that matter, don’t lie about anything. Period. End of story.

  25. 3/10/MED/b says:

    …but there is always another who posts on the book of face, who thinks they are smarter than their family, friends, and associates…

    They haven’t met Hondo, thebesig, Claw, 5TH/77FA, Dave Hardin, AW1ED or Ex-PH2, to name just a few.

    Thanks to all of you.

    No, we are not getting a room.

  26. 3/10/MED/b says:

    rgr679, Roh-dog, CHIPNASA, Sarge, API(you know who you are, goddammitt…), 26Limabeans,HMC Ret(hope you’re doing okay), Wilted Willy, (your brother will find his place…), Daisy Cutter, JeffLP3…
    I have tried to remember all the voices and comments from all of the participants on TAH.
    Fell free to fire me up for negligence.

    b out.

    • ChipNASA says:

      Hondo, thebesig, Claw, 5TH/77FA, Dave Hardin, AW1ED or Ex-PH2,rgr679, Roh-dog, Sarge, API, 26Limabeans, HMC Ret, Wilted Willy, Daisy Cutter, JeffLP3… et al,

      Anyone else interested on dropping the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ on 3/10/MED/b for his malfeasance, misconduct, misbehavior, various voluntary or involuntary transgressions, multitude of sins and/or any other hanky-panky, shenanigans or unidentified naughtiness??

      Hmmmm. I’m just kidding…

      (Or AM *I*?!?!?!?!)
      😀 😀 😀

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Just call him a silly man and give him a pat on the head.

    • The Stranger says:

      What am I? Chopped liver?

  27. 3/10/MED/b says:

    In the words of a great friend of mine…
    Holy Fuckin’ Balls.

    I never thought I would be the subject of the Hemisphere of Insults, but here I am. (please have a reference to Col. Sherman T. Potter.)

    awaiting incoming…

  28. The Stranger says:

    And here I thought that Kenny or a sock puppet showed up after seeing recent activity on the thread. I’m so disappointed ☹️. They just don’t make phonies like they used to.

  29. 3/10/MED/b says:

    ChipNasa, let it go.
    It will be a good laugh for my sorry ass. Let it fly, no holds barred. No weakness in this AO.

    • ChipNASA says:

      OK Because I said I wouldn’t bestow the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ on Ken here because I said he didn’t deserve it, I am reconsidering this and will allow 3/10/MED/b to enjoy it, but it is directly aimed at Ken here because he has besmirched the ranks of the Top Three as we Chairforce call it, or the Goat Locker with his stupidity.

      For you and then the rest of this is on Ken,

      Ken, I can only ask,

      ” What is this cow flubdubbery?
      ” What in the name of Sweet Fanny Adams happened here?”

      “This an A-1, four-alarm, red, white and blue alert!”

      The Hemisphere of Insults®™
      (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
      FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
      DANGER CLOSE!!!!
      MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
      TAKE COVER!!!!!
      …. Ken (Bend Over) Woerheide (WHORE Hide) …HEY DICKLESS WONDER, We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes,
      failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butterIf you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee,

      • ChipNASA says:

        Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine , Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina,

        • ChipNASA says:

          Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby,Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P.) Take you Democrap Cuntifornia politics and stuff them up your ass sideways, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, pisses off more people than the clackers on an abacus,

          YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle,what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt, And a new addition thanks to Sarge I hereby introduce you to the ALPHABET ASSAULT:
          Annoying asinine asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag; erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher; no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage; queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty; wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick. Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire.
          If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
          We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
          /FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value
          The Hemisphere of Insults®™

          FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
          Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
          Here endeth the lesson.

          Oh and one time Blake Morgan said: “ I swear I was hearing “O Beautiful for spacious skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “

          So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

          • Eden says:

            You forgot “keeps his balls in his purse”.

            • ChipNASA says:

              And I’d add, “if he had any” and maybe we should use “her” purse, because *if* any of these guys even had a woman, she’s the boss

              SO, that is going on the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

              • 5th/77th FA says:

                AMEN!!!!! And all of the miscreants of TAH dodged poser bling and wept with joy at the sights and sounds thereof.

  30. 3/10/MED/ b says:

    Always good to see, but ALWAYS good to see a reference to Col. Sherman T. Potter.

    Thanks,ChipNASA, for the insults in my name. Good shit, thank you, Sir.

  31. 3/10/MED/ b says:

    monkey fucking a football …
    haven’t heard that one in a while.

  32. 3/10/MED/b says:

    I have been negligent in my naming the contributors of this site. Requesting permission for roll call, over;